Do you want to be a girl or just look like one?

13 years ago when i got married i had no intrest in becoming a woman, and now i wish i was. had i started dressing when i was a preteen then i have no doubt that i would have ended up a girl. now that i am married and have this whole other life and have asked others in my family about how they feel i know now that i would have to give up most of my family. sometime i lay around at night and still wish i had been born a girl. my SO gives me a lot of freedom to express my self as much as i like and i lover her for that but i don't think she understands my feelings on this. we have talked about it only to have more questions than when i started the conversation.lol i guess for now that unless something significantly changes in my live i will have to stay the way i am which is...a girl trapped in a man's body.

I have male body parts, but I'm 100% a woman. I'm really good at pretending to be a man, but it's really just an act. I don't see anything wrong with being the way I am. Yes, of course I'd like to have a woman's body, but not even surgery could give me that completely. Besides, there's something special about being "neither fish nor fowl" and I'm not sure I'd ever want to give that up.

For right now, at least, I'm content with sometimes pretending to be male, and sometimes just being me.

CK

I just want to wear the clothes and look like a girl. Im happy being a man.

Thank You Julia, I have learned a new, more accepted term. Please accept my apology, I did not mean to offend.

My feelings on this have changed over the years and now I wish I had been a girl. However at 58 years old I'm not going try to transition because I would never look the way I feel on the inside. I feel and act like a cute 20 something but in reality I would look like a mannish old woman. I'll admit I'm vain.

Marguarite,

I knew you didn't mean to. I certainly accept your apology and thank you for it. :)

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Originally Posted by Marguarite

Thank You Julia, I have learned a new, more accepted term. Please accept my apology, I did not mean to offend.

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Wow, Quite a few interesting responses. This question is kind of a conundrum not easily answered I realize that. I've been asking myself this very question for some 53 years now (I started CDing when I was around 12). This is one way I learn about my friends here, however, good, intelligent thinking friends who ponder this very issue. In the final analysis I guess it comes down to being who we are and learning to accept it and enjoy it. Let's face it, if we can't have some kind of fun and enjoyment with being who we are what can we have fun with? Please keep your thoughts coming my friends. I enjoy each and every expression.:battingeyelashes::)

I am a girl. Who is stuck in this awful body.

i don't even make a very convincing boy! Sure, sometimes when I don't shave my face for a week I sort of look like a male. My voice is sort of masculine but no one would really think I was a man in the traditional way. Maybe it's the clothes i wear, how I act or whatever. No one has ever been shocked to see me wear a dress. I've even played girl roles in plays without saying I wanted too.

I have feminine features. If anything this life is just a sick joke. So close to a proper body but bam penis. I am pretty much asexual because I hate using that awful thing.

Simple... I want to be me.

I just want to look like a girl!

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Originally Posted by gender_blender

I need to be a sexy girl.

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From your MM page, it looks like you already are. Very impressive.

Be a girl 100% absolutely positively

I play both.
I can't believe I look like a girl these days. ...buit is what it is.
I have most of my beard zapped off by laser , and some by electrolysis, and my hair is just about shoulder legnth from nothing last t year, I' m 20 pounds lighter since last year, and I look like a girl compared to me a year ago. It's acually quite unnerving and frightening internally, but I feel very satisfied. I spent this weekend visting my parents wearing a pastic hairband / ponytail scrunchy, and that was a new experience for us all, and the only thing they cared about was me setting up was the Roku wi-fi streaming device for the tv.

I've spent over 50 years living as a man and the years of practice have made me only somewhat good at it and only somewhat comfortable as one. I recognize that I will never truly know what it feels like to grow up a woman nor can I ever be fully a woman but that doesn't stop me from wanting to be one. I am working with my therapist towards that possibility. At this point I'm not sure if that will eve become reality but the dream, the need has not abated in many decades.

AnitaH

I want to be the girl on the outside that I am in the inside. I would rather my testicles and penis be removed, and replaced with a functional vagina. I also want my own breasts.

Simply put, I was born wrong. A cruel joke of nature has been played upon me. I should have been correctly born as a girl. But, of course, I wasn't. I am learning what to do about it, and how to deal with it. Regardless, it ain't easy, and who knows what will come of it?

In any event, I am here currently among friends and those such as I. And there is strength and wisdom in numbers . . . .

Over the past few years, and certainly influenced by this forum as well as other things, I have thought a lot about this, and have now pretty well concluded that, realistically, becoming a woman (that is, taking steps to physically change myself), even just living as a woman without making any physical changes, is not something I could ever do. It would be too much of a change, too frightening, that it can be only a fantasy. So I guess that means I don't want it enough, that all I really want is to dress and look feminine. And I'll just have to accept the reality of that.

Michaella

Honestly, I would like to be a girl.

I'm only able to be a part-time girl (at this time) and dread, even hate having to be a guy. Whenever I have to wear the boy cloths every inch of my body yearns to be free of them and shed the facade. I only truely feel alive when I'm able to be the girl that I'm supposed to be.

While I feel that I was born in the wrong body and would jump at the oppertunity to begin the transition to become a pre-op, I'm not entirely sold on the SRS.

I'm not going one inch further than I have to! Transition seems likely though, one day at a time I'm changing in increments. looks from a few years back and looks today are day and night different. My heart/mind is all girl. My body is old male vintage though. Stay tuned.

I am a lot of things. On the inside I am female but I am also a husband to a wonderful wife. There are always going to be some balancing act with the various aspects of my life but everyone has their own issues that they have to balance in their lives. Yeah I wish could have more of the "hardware" to show who I am but I don't need it to know who I am. Having to present as a male for much of my public life and some of my private life is a strain at times but life is like that at times.

It was this very question that took me from trying on a few bits of clothing all the way to makeover and going out. Loosing 90lbs helped as well, but at 56 it seems that an occasional girl is the best I can hope for.

Kerry

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Originally Posted by Lauren415

Charlie you are a very sexy girl!

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Jeez, Lauren, you should talk. You're a living doll :)
Lisa

I want to thank Kate for starting this thread. I have learned so much. There are joy and pain all over and all we can do is try to help. I'm choking up a little (that's part of my feminine side -- I cry about six times a day) when I think about Bumblebee and all the hurt she's feeling. But we're lucky to live in this century and lucky to have each other.
Lisa

If I knew at 20 what I know now, I would've transitioned. I may still. I don't believe I would be post op now but would live as a woman otherwise.
It wouldn't be that big of a mental change for me but it would be nice that the outside presented as the inside for real.

I'm another, there was a time, when I was young, and had I have known then. yes I would have loved to been born a women, and there was a time if I thought I could have done it I would have, but by the time I figured it all out, and knew it really would have been possible, I already had a wife and 2 kids, lost the wife, but still have the two kids, and now grandkids, so I'll just settle looking as feminine as I can pull off, and be happy with the hand I was dealt, and the way I played that hand. But one can have their fantasies, can't they?
Tina B.

This is all still very new. I know I am a crossdresser. I am accepting the term transgendered and know that I have a female presence in my soul. Will this presence overwhelm me in the future, I do not know. I do not feel that i was meant to be a woman. At the present I feel that I was meant to be a male, but I also was meant to express femininity. All I can ever be is an emulator of the female. At present I do not wish to be a woman, but dearly wish i could safely and openly dress my genders whenever whichever of them is present in my mind at the moment. Given my age, regardless of how my thoughts develop, I would emulate more fully, but not transition.

Barbara