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For me, I feel it's a desire & a need. I think about it everyday but if I don't act on it every once in a while I feel unsettled & out of sorts. I need it to balance me out, I certainly have issues with my gender & the best way I can deal with it is to just enjoy being a girl now & again.
For me it is definatly a need. I have been doing it ever since I can remember. I have had guilt, shame and depression go with it until 2 years ago when I came out to my wife. I have purged which drove me waaaaayyy deep into depression and almost pushed me into the psch ward.
Also the clothes have a different cut and fit my body better. My wife has a hard time because male jeans are either too big or too tight for me. Womens however fit correctly. The fact that they also come in different fabrics and prints also piques my brain because I really love fasion.
Best way to put it is I dress to be me.
Yes Marie, so many people want to understand why we do what we do. Some say a compulsion, need , and just the desire. Some CD's do dress for different reasons. Some can take it or leave it. I think the latter do choose it. But for so many, many of us, we just don't know. It is just with us. It was with us from the time we were born. When we get to adulthood, we look back and can see so many things about us as children that we didn't understand while we were in adolecence. I remember going to bed at night in the first and second grade, and falling asleep, I was wishing that I was a girl, not that I liked boys, but I just wanted to be a girl. But when I got up the next morning and looked in the mirror, I saw a boy, and so with that, I was supposed to play softball and basketball, etc. I never liked any of that.
You have asked a wonderful question. You desire to understand why some of us are this way? If I was a GG, I'm sure I would wonder the same way and I would want to understand, and with that wanting to understand, if I was a GG, I would ask CD's the question you have asked. And looking at all the responses here and as well as thousands of other respones on similar threads, we CD's do not fully understand why we must do this. Back some 15 years ago, the guilt and shame of it forced me to throw everything away that I had by way of CD'ing. The first two or three years were so hard for me. Then it had became 13 years since I had became Tara. During those years, I could sometimes think of Tara and because it HAD BEEN many years, I thought I was cured of crossdressing. But with my wife's encouragement, I delved back into it again, and now the desire is stronger than ever and I cannot stop it ever again. I have asked why do I need to do this thousands of times, even I as being a CD, do not understand why I and many others are like this. So many of us have lived with the guilt of it, we try to put it away, but it haunts us untill we give into it again. I guess it's true to say we are born this way, and then scholars and preachers will tell us, oh no we're not.
If I had the magical ficticious book entited "The Real Truth and Understanding of Crossdressers" and if that book gave all of the real truths about us and left NO DOUBT, to why crossdressers and TG's to do this to the letter and revealed what it really is, and the book left no stone unturned, and that it's contents and text's were the real reason and were undisputable, and the book fully explained WHY, we do this,,I would give you the book.
I do know , as well as many others, of how becoming Tara makes me feel, it makes me feel whole and who I am, I feel joy, contentment, solice, completion and at peace. As other posters on here have said what crossdressing does for them, but not WHY the crossdressing does it for them. Why do men have nipples?, men were never intended to suckle young. We all start out in the womb as female. Is this just an American thing?, of course not, is crossdressing just a modern thing of these times?, of course not. Has this thing that aflicts so many of us been around just for the past couple of hundred years?, of course not. Are we all the same?, of course not. Does the answer to your great question really exist here on earth among mortal men?, I don't think so. Do GG's that are not one of us, but lives with one of us or knows someone like us, understand us and have the undisputable truth?, I don't think so. Will we ever know the real truth of why do we do this? I really don't think so.
If there was that magic pill that has been spoken about on here sometimes, that would take it all away, would I take the pill?, yes I would. Is it a need or desire you ask?, to me it is both. And no Marie, you have not offended anyone.I'm not trying to be sarcastic, I'm being real, we don't know why we do this, we just do.
Love and peace to all of you ,..............Tara
Thanks again everyone for your responses.
While I guess no one really has an idea of why, some of you do have some interesting theories.
Based on previous discussions with my husband I didn't really expect anyone had the magic answer - to life, the universe, and everything...
(though I am told it may be 42 ;))
I do feel that all of you sharing your stories and feelings did help me to get to know you better. And that is a nice unplanned outcome. So thanks again :)
Siri knows all!Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie GG
I am glad you asked this, it is interesting to see all of the answers. My husbands answer was "I like the tightness of the clothes against my body. Male clothes can never feel that way no matter how tight they are, they just aren't tight enough in the right places."
I find myself in the same boat here too. One of the biggest issue's I had with my dressing during my college years was "why do I love being all dressed up as a girl and feeling pretty. Yet I do not identify with feminine traits or looks when I am not dressed. And everyone here is absolutely right, its different for all of us. Every time I dress, I try to wear a different outfit combination, or buy and try a new type of eye liner, different styles to paint my fake nails! Even though "I'm not supposed to be feminine, its not my place", and I do love my male side, I also love being, well trying to be, cute and feminine. So yes, sorry to ramble, that's just one of the many potential reasons he does it :)Quote:
Originally Posted by NathalieX66