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definitely transsexual...i hate being a man...but because of familial responsibilites, i must live as a man, even tho i would much rather live as a woman. i have always known i was a girl/woman from a very early age...i hope that i have paid my dues in this life and will be a total woman in my next life..sigh.
Very much transgendered. I wish I could be in drab one day a week and Charlene the rest of the week. I'm really only truly happy and relaxed when I'm in my feminine role. This feeling as progressed over the years, I've been dressing for over thirty years now. Most male interests bore the hell out of me, as do most males. Only you girls are the exception. The shrink I went to two years ago told me I had gender dysforia, but she didn't tell me much about the symptoms.
I voted "transgender", but when I stop to think about it, I'm not really sure exactly where I fall. I started out in the "transvestic fetish" category 20 years ago. The fetish aspect has since disappeared, but those feelings started the process of awakening suppressed feelings within me regarding dissatisfaction with being male. Since then I have "climbed the ladder" through crossdressing and transgender, and lately have started to wonder for the first time whether I should transition. I simply don't know if I have further feelings that are being suppressed. I intend to start seeing a counsellor about it as soon as I can afford to.
I love feeling like a woman and I love dressing as well butthere is a strong desire to be female and that doesn't always mean being with men! I love women! I adore women! I enjoy lovemaking with women! I especially love when a woman likes me dressed and we share banter and thoughts as women do when together. It's tough but that's the way it really is for me!
When I really think of what I would be comfortable with in a perfect world I would have to say this. I would always dress as a woman because that is how I feel most comfortable. I would definately get breast implants but keep my buddy down below. He does have some crazy friends but he's been very loyal and still hangs out with those two nuts he grew up with!: I guess I would love to be something not on the list, a she-male. That's just me. The best of both worlds but it really cuts down on the dating pool! Where are all you bisexual women when I need you!:) Big Hugs.
Love
Jeannie
i am definately a crossdresser who loves the feeling of wearing womens clothes and dressing up.
danielle d
Somewhere between 1 and 2. There's definitely always an element of sexual arousal/gratification, but I enjoy the feeling of being femme and occasionally wear a wig/makeup/full feminine attire also. I could never pass, even on a dark night from a half-mile away, but the picture of "Cheri" in my mind is entirely different from what I project externally.
Julie,
When very young, I didn't know who or what I was, although I knew something wasn't right. When I got a little older, I was afraid of who or what I was, because I realized what others would think. During my early adult years, I tried to deny who and what I was, out of fear that I couldn't live it. Now, having been through nearly 5 decades, I am finally free to face the fact that I am a transsexual. I should have been born a girl.
Love,
SilkenPrincess
A lot of very interesting posts on a topic many of us have considered in private. Marla GG's was excellent.
But I think a couple have hit on part of the problem...semantics.
Transgender vs transsexual may not be all that clear. As someone alluded to, gender is not the same as sex. "Gender is in your head, and sex is in your crotch" may be a bit too simplistic, but it leads to a bit of clarification.
Who I am does not necessarily indicate who I wish to have sexual relations with. The key may be whether we are looking internaly at ourselves. Or, externally, at how we relate to others.
Transgendered suggests that someone considers themselves to be gendered differently than they are biologically constructed.
Transsexual suggests that someone relates to others in a manner that is different from how they are situated socially by definition of their biological construction.
All of this conversation is, of course, hampered by generations of suppression of any discussion of sexuality at all. And now comes the 21st century where we can not only find out that there are others like us, and actually comunicate with them fearlessly, but we can participate in defining ourselves. I can not think of another time in liguistic history where a marginalized group has been able to participate in the in vitro definig of itself. As opposed to sitting back and letting the academic, psychological, or sociolgical communities do the defining.
So, for those of you who are still trying to define yourselves, I would suggest you consider the two factors separately. Who you are, gender-wise, vs. who you wish to relate to sexually.
And then it gets a little more complicated when you take into consideration that much of what we humans find sexually exciting is sociolgically taught to us during our developmental years. At the same time as we are being taught what external trappings define gender.
If I learn that a bra, for example, is sexually stimulating and that it is generally associated with women, where do I stand when I also learn that wearing a bra myself is sexually stimulating?
This has gotten a lot longer than I anticipated, sorry.
As for me? I fall into the apparent minority of #1. I'm just an aging overweight white guy, who loves the look and feel of the silky and feminine. And chooses to excersize that affection by myself, separate from, and in addition to, my female relationships. I'll never pass. But I don't need to. When I look in the mirror, I can ignore the parts that don't work and enjoy the look and feel of what does.
Good luck every one.
I voted transgendered. I'd say i'm transgendered/borderline transexual.
I don't feel like I should have been born a woman in the classic transexual sense. It's a more of a conscious choice of me just wanting to be a woman. But due to physique, family issues, and my own reluctance to share my thoughts with a professional therapist, I see myself being stuck as a crossdresser for the time being.
Luckily those are all things I can work on, so who knows where i'll be in a few years, or even a few months.
Difficult one mainly due to a difference in language accross the Atlantic.
If you read Helen Boyd's book she drops the term Fetish when refering to Transvestites though fully acknowleges the sexual element- something that challenges so many CDs who'd prefer that part be kept quiet. The word fetish as got connotations (see Julie York's elequent assesment, I hjave to say that's how I felt when I saw the poll so heb not voted)
For me? I'm a Transvestite, I dress fully as a woman, I want to do so as much as I can and I'm not interested in only the clothes, I need the lot- hair, make-up, jewelery and when my courage is eventually in place to go out and be ignored.
I feel more alive dressed. I don't really get a sexual kick anymore, as I used to but I won't deny the potential is there, but it isn't the prime motivator.
In the UK the term Crossdresser is very rarely used, it stems from TriESS (which doesn't exist over here) and Virginia Price who wasn't too keen on Transvestite as a word and spent a lot of time trying to come up with a "less clinical" word. Not to mention denying the possiblity that Trannies or CDrs coule ever be gay or progress to transition.
So lables are hard, the English langage is tricky and the differences between sisters across the water can cause even more confusion!!
Fiona
xx
Glamsexual. If I'm going to be put in a box by anyone then it'll be a box of my own creation.
I would have to say transgender simply because of the fact that while I do dress androgynous quite often when I go out other than for work I do still see the need to have the male side of me around. Not only for my wife and family but because of my career and the fact that computer business owners are still predominantly male in todays society and business owners seem to feel more comfortable with a male working on their computers than a female for some reason.
Thought I do admit there are a growing number of women in the field which makes me happy.
anna
:rant: Extremely Transgendered and socially unaccepted.
I would say transgender, because, although I like being male, I would also enjoy and see myself as being female too. I dub it being bigender, as I really see myself as sort of a bit of both.
And the labels are sort of unofficial though because according to my local LGBT center at UC Davis:
"The Minnesota Human Rights Act defines transgender individuals as "having or being perceived as having a self-image or identity not traditionally associated with one's biological maleness or femaleness". The identity of a transgender person differs from their physical sex as assigned at birth and there is no definitive answer as to what causes one to be born this way. Transgender is a broad term which includes pre-operative and post-operative transsexuals; transgenderists (persons living full-time in a gender opposite their birth sex with no desire to pursue surgery); transvestites or cross-dressers, and those whose gender expressions occasionally differs from their birth sex. The largest subgroup of transgender persons are heterosexual men who engage in occasional crossdressing."
Marla,Quote:
Originally Posted by Marla GG
When I posted this I was recalling as best as I could the definitions of each as they were explained to me by an experienced and very well read gender therapist. I suppose it would have been better to have said something like 'attracted to' rather than defining it in a sexual aspect. I was just trying to state it as closely as possible how it was told to me. I apologize if I offended anyone.
I wouldn't apologise Julie, as I don't believe you've offended anyone with this poll, but raised some thought provoking discussion.
Over the weeks it has highlighted a dichotomy many people feel: that on the one hand we cling to our individuality and rebel against conforming to a 'label', yet also feel the need to belong and identify with others. Why else would any of us have joined this forum?
Like so many have answered, I would say "crossdresser." I wonder what it would be like to be female, but I wouldn't trade off forever. Too much of my life and identity are male, there is just another facet that needs to get out!
I describe myself as transgendered - simply because it is a broader, more generic, label.
In the past I have labelled myself as 'transsexual' and then 'non transitioning transsexual' - but the general community interpretation of those labels is more about what you are doing about it and your lifestyle than how you feel.
Fiona xx
Julie, to suit the parameters of four choices I had to go for Transgender though I've never thought of myself as that.
I can and do live as a woman in my little cottage in suburbia but the hard world has to be faced so I am a bloke out there.
What drew me to this forum topic though was the "..Classify Yourself.." and I was dying to answer simply "Tall, slim, poised raven haired beauty". Oh well. :) ;)
Julia, thanks for clarifying. I don't doubt that the therapist you cited probably did use those categories -- it's a case where the labels, even those used by professionals, don't adequately reflect reality.
In part it's because people on the TG spectrum haven't been completely honest about sexuality. Unfortunately, TSs learn to deny any sexual overtones in order to get past the gatekeepers to SRS (who've deemed this as something that disqualified candidates). Likewise, Tri-Ess and other CD groups went a bit overboard in their bid for respectability and denied that sexuality can be a part of crossdressing for some at some times, even if they're otherwise "good girls."
Guess I'd also have to go with transvestic fetish. My crossdressing which usually involves full slips, chiffon layered nighties or panties but can involve almost any kind of lingerie is almost always aimed at sexual satisfaction. I do however love the generally feminine feeling I get from wearing these things and usually spend quite a bit of time just wearing and prancing around in front of the mirror before "manual stimulation" takes over.
This is my first post by the way, I really love this site and look forward to sharing more with you all.
Not trying to sound "cool" or anything, I just havent really ever classified myself... on the occasions I've tried, I always end up saying I am "such and such" then adding "BUT.... "
I think I'm just me, and I strive to be whoever I am to the best of my ability.
XX
Jayme.
Ps.. Is Transvestic really a word ??
Crossdresser for sure as i have to maintain my male self for work and such. Tiffany only comes out when i want her to come out. She comes out sometimes when i want to relax and unwind. Wearing a pretty dress or gown is something i cant be without when iam dressed as Tiffany
This is such a tough one and actually one I was working on before I found this site. I have been writing an autobio to try and put this in perspective. I started when I was 3 (well sort of) Kimberley has always been there and to be totally honest I THINK I had to learn my male traits. Kimberley was pushed down for decades and finally she started kicking and screaming to be listened to. It took a near breakdown for that to happen but I found a fantastic counsellor who helped us to get along with one another.
My pdoc hasnt really delved into this whole gender issue...yet! At any rate her initial opinion is CD but as I said, she doesnt have all the facts, emotions and opinions of both of us (Kimberley and me). We will get there soon enough and maybe I will get some answers.
What all of us know is that we live in a very gray world and in my opinion I think labeling does none of us any justice. Are we not reinforcing the opinions of the public at large by labeling ourselves instead of saying "Hi I am ..." and later when we are comfortable, "Let me introduce you to Kimberley?" Hmmm.