I want a Boyfriend 0.o?

I have had this fantasy on occasions, but it got put into reality once by my three girlfriends.
They took me to a drive-in movie and I sat in the back seat with this guy who knew who I was.
The other two had boyfriends and it was a bit cramped in the car.
I eventually sat on his lap and had my arm around him.
The others kissed and cuddled so we did a bit too.
His searching hands did get under my blouse and I responded in kind.
We giggled and joked about it as we were aware of what the others might be doing and they had set both of us up.
It was not unpleasant and we enjoyed the moment.
We thought if they want us to play girlfriend/boyfriend, why not!

Personally i always go for the simpler explaination. Fantasies are just that... fantasies. They seem to be upsetting you or making you rethink some things, but is that because ur freaked out about having them? or because you actually want to go and do this. Mental fantasies and practicality are two totally different things. Sure sometimes i love the idea of entertaining in my head that i would have some guy that would pay for everything and i could just be woman all the time and not work and etc. But is that practical? for me no, and do i actually want that? NOT AT ALL but i love entertaining the idea as a fantasy haha. So maybe its not so complicated. Just try and think through it calmly.

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Originally Posted by Jenniferathome

Artist iO Tillett Wright has photographed 2,000 people who consider themselves somewhere on the LBGTQ spectrum and asked many of them: Can you assign a percentage to how gay or straight you are? Most people, it turns out, consider themselves to exist in the gray areas of sexuality, not 100% gay or straight. [...] Now, had she randomly asked 2,000 people across the planet earth, then she may have a data point.

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It has been done, a fair number of times. First was 50 years ago, by Kinsey et. al., the so-called Kinsey Reports. Wikipedia's summary of the stats is:

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The reports also state that nearly 46% of the male subjects had "reacted" sexually to persons of both sexes in the course of their adult lives, and 37% had at least one homosexual experience. 11.6% of white males (ages 20–35) were given a rating of 3 (about equal heterosexual and homosexual experience/response) throughout their adult lives. The study also reported that 10% of American males surveyed were "more or less exclusively homosexual for at least three years between the ages of 16 and 55" (in the 5 to 6 range).

7% of single females (ages 20–35) and 4% of previously married females (ages 20–35) were given a rating of 3 (about equal heterosexual and homosexual experience/response) on Kinsey Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale for this period of their lives. 2 to 6% of females, aged 20–35, were more or less exclusively homosexual in experience/response, and 1 to 3% of unmarried females aged 20–35 were exclusively homosexual in experience/response.

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Approximately 6000 females were surveyed.

Criticisms have been made of Kinsey's scale. One of the alternative studies included "Laumann et al. (1994) found that of the 8.6% of women reporting some same gender sexuality, 88% reported same gender sexual attraction, 41% reported some same gender sexual behaviour and 16% reported a lesbian or gay identity."

Thus, there is serious reason to suspect that Jennifer's opinion that "the bisexuals are a very small niche" is not in accordance with what studies have found.

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Originally Posted by AllieSF

Nikki, what is it that you dislike so much about Bi or Bi-Curious? They are descriptive terms that help others to understand the sexuality or sexual desires/preferences/orientation of others. If you don't like labels, are you a pizza lover?? So, you are a "sexual" person, is that a label? I am just trying to understand what you wrote.

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I am a human being. My sexual orientation is Sexual. My comfort zone encompasses both genders.

To clarify: I do not agree with labeling, when applied to something that shouldn't really be labeled. Imagine, if you would; a world where people are simply people. Labels? Some are entirely necessary. I'd have a hard time betting with my friends on the outcome of a football game if there weren't ANY. lololol
Sexuality is one of those things I believe should never have been subdivided into smaller categories, and labeled according to what sort of gender a person prefers to engage in the act of sex with.

i haven't had a sexual experience with a guy. i want to be fully dressed, wig, make up, lingerie, stockings, perfume, jewelry, painted nails and be a women. I have been thinking how much I would enjoy the experience for so long, but where I live it is so difficult to find anyone who would be accepting of a sexual liaison. One day i will do it because I want it so much. For now it is just in my head and that does fulfill the urge whenever it arises. It is a difficult.

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Originally Posted by kellycan27

Slightly bi? Isn't that like being a little bit pregnant? Lol

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Hahahaha...exactly :)

I like boys and girls. Wether I'm "en femme" or not. Why limit myself to one gender? Life is short...And I'm grabbing it by the...well,we all know ;>)

Well I feel that I am bi and I do have fantacy's, deams and thoughts while dressed about sexual encounters with men. I don't have these when not dressed at all.
I have had acted on these recently and enjoyed my experiences, of course always playing safe. I love the role as a woman and being treated as a lady by men.

This is a great link to answer to this question. The answer is from Kinsey at Indiana University. (Just Click this link)

I've hade a thought or two on the guy thing.But I would never act on it. I'm just to straight. I'd really rather do the girl on girl thing.:hugs:
Angie

As usual I must side with Jenn although my gut feeling is that there are more BIs than she would believe, but still a minority. As far as shades of gray and so-called pansexuals for those folks who feel better believing there is such a label, or depends on circumstances, if that makes you comfortable and less stressed, I judge you not. Sadly, those professionals who study the science of the mind as well as the biology of humans haven't put circumstances and shades of gray into their vocabulary as yet --- maybe someday.
Julie

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Originally Posted by Beverley Sims

I have had this fantasy on occasions, but it got put into reality once by my three girlfriends.
They took me to a drive-in movie and I sat in the back seat with this guy who knew who I was.
The other two had boyfriends and it was a bit cramped in the car.
I eventually sat on his lap and had my arm around him.
The others kissed and cuddled so we did a bit too.
His searching hands did get under my blouse and I responded in kind.
We giggled and joked about it as we were aware of what the others might be doing and they had set both of us up.
It was not unpleasant and we enjoyed the moment.
We thought if they want us to play girlfriend/boyfriend, why not!

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that story sounds so adorable, i love it! What a blessing to have such good/accepting friends.

It seems perfectly natural to want to be with a man. If you are dressed as a girl and acting like a girl it is part of the natural progression to want a boyfriend. It is natural for a woman to want to be desired by a man. You are entitled to the same feelings.

I am a very sensual and sexual person. I was also born guilty (catholic) but got over it. I am openly bisexual and probably going to hell but that is something i will have to deal with.

When my wife accepted Dee and told me to go explore the worl as a woman, she also said i should date and get a BF if i wanted to. I am not going to start trolling forguys, but if the opportunity presented itself I am sure I would explore my options

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Originally Posted by ReineD

My SO told me years ago that sometimes she has homoerotic fantasies, not when she's dressed, but when he's in guy mode. I don't know if he's still having them, I haven't asked.

This worries me a lot though. I'd feel a lot better if she was having those fantasies when dressed, because at least I understand those. His fantasies in guy mode might be either an indication of transsexuality (TS and TS yearnings do not ebb and flow with the crossdressing), or repressed homosexuality. Do you think you might be TS or gay?

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He is a woman on the inside. Thats what I told you about Reine. A lot of this behavior you see is denial. Deep down CDs want to be loved, cared for and protected by a man.

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Originally Posted by AllisontheGoddess

Lately I've been having these urges like I want a BF or something. I'm not really attracted to guys (Sometimes I do show signs of conditional bi when I'm dressed) ,but I'm dating a girl right now , which makes it even weirder =/. I'm not even dressed and I'm getting these feelings! Also I even get more sensual when I'm alone--like I'm daydreaming for my " Prince Charming " to come sweep me off my feet. One minute it's exactly what I want and then the next it completely freaks me out. I'm definitly not Gay but I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm Bi either, since it only comes in short bursts. Does this happen to anyone else when they dress or even when they aren't dressed?

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Well im sure you wont have trouble finding guys. you look like a beautiful princess

Give a guy a try..... It's just sex and it washes off lol

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Originally Posted by seanmuscle

He is a woman on the inside. Thats what I told you about Reine. A lot of this behavior you see is denial. Deep down CDs want to be loved, cared for and protected by a man.

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There is a part of me that does want that to some degree.

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Originally Posted by kellycan27

Slightly bi? Isn't that like being a little bit pregnant? Lol

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EVERYONE is bisexual. Whether they are TRY sexual is a different story.

Like you said in another post, it is only sex.

My wif ean I are committed to each other and we both know who you are going home to ad who we can depend on with out question.

I think that the desire to have a boyfriend is perfectly normal for the crossdresser or transvestite. Part of the fantasy of being a woman, regardless of sexual orientation. Personally, I have this desire when transvestite and think normal, fun and mischievous.

This is an issue that really raises a lot of emotion in some people. I never thought of myself as wanting to be with another man until it just happened. I had a homosexual boyfriend who loved to see me dressed and loved me in a nightgown or in my slip. He would ask for fashion shows and he was really turned on by my being fully dressed and made up and loved to take me out to his "haunts" and show off. Making love was fantastic as I sank as completely as is possible into a feminine mind set. Strangely, when I am out in public I find myself most attracted to women as I love to see a woman who is well turned out. I find myself looking at how she dresses and how she does her hair and makeup. I pay very little attention to men and if I watch a CD movie I really don't like to see men in the scene unless they are quite feminine looking.

So, I have no idea what label to put on myself. I do find that my sexual fantasies include men and not women and they are in control and not me. Human sexuality has so many dimensions that are driven by that greatest of all sexual organs; the mind. I will let the experts try to classify. They don't seem to have had much success so far. As for some genetic explanation, it will come but don't expect it to explain everything. Our brains and a fertile imagination will always cause confusion.

Looking back on a lifetime of denial and avoidance, I would counsel confronting the issue. Act responsibly and don't hurt people if at all possible, but denial and avoidance just seems to store up trouble. Good luck!

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Originally Posted by LSL_Dee

EVERYONE is bisexual. Whether they are TRY sexual is a different story.

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That's just nonsense. This is the kind of resonse given by someone who wants to justify their own preference in sexuality and not be called "gay" or "bi.". Moreover, it is a statement that regardless of fact or response, one can sit back and say "well, you just haven't acted on it."

I, and every other straight person on earth, haven't engaged in homosexual acts for the simple reason that we are straight. Occam's razor is a perfect fit here. And an even simpler analogy is, if it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it's a duck.

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Originally Posted by Jenniferathome

That's just nonsense. This is the kind of resonse given by someone who wants to justify their own preference in sexuality and not be called "gay" or "bi.". Moreover, it is a statement that regardless of fact or response, one can sit back and say "well, you just haven't acted on it."

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Actually, while not everyone is bisexual, Kinsey established pretty decisively that almost everyone has bisexual tendencies to some degree or another. It varies, from person to person, with some people (not most!) have virtually no attraction to the same sex, and some people having about 50/50 attraction to either sex. (For the people who are bisexual - that have sex with either gender from time to time, calling it equal attraction isn't quite right - from what I've been able to ascertain from talking to folks, it is more that they are attracted to the PERSON first, and sexual characteristics as a secondary thing, so they could be attracted to a male or a female who is attractive to them in some other way.)

Of course, having such tendencies doesn't make one bisexual in the sense of having sex with persons of both genders. (We'll leave out the notion of non-binary gender here for pedagogical reasons - it just complicates the matter further.)

What I'm saying is that lots of males, otherwise heterosexual identifying males, will get aroused under the right circumstances from seeing another male in a sexual situation. (Same goes for females.) That doesn't mean much in terms of how he identifies in terms of his sexuality. It's just how it is.

Society, in general, is uncomfortable with this fact, although it is meticulously documented and extremely well established.

edit: Just for the record, I'm kind of sorry to report that I appear to be really straight. Having talked to a lot of bisexual people on this forum, I think bisexual people have a lot of love in their hearts, and a lot of ability to accept people for who they are, rather than how they look. I think those are really admirable qualities, and I'm a little sad that I don't share them, I fear. I think this is very misunderstood in our society, and now that I know a little more, it makes me sad.

I'm happily married to a wonderful supportive lady who knows I'd like to experience having a boyfriend. Like any other woman it would just "have to happen" for me with the right man. Do I really need to put a label on myself? No! Labelling is for those who need to find some kind of security knowing where they fit. I said this in another post. There are also those outside of our trans world who need to compartmentalize everyone to know where they fit and even feel superior or "normal." In my mind, one size does NOT fit all. And people have to get over the idea that the rules are so rigid.

Cheryl Ann

BTW, I think some sort of coordinate system would be more useful than labels - something to identify where we fall in various spectrums of sexuality and perhaps even gender identity. Coordinates aren't very user friendly though.

Another thought - I know a lot of people don't like labels. Actually, I'm kind of averse to them myself.

But the truth of the matter is that it's really hard to have a discussion and for anyone to know what in the hell you are talking about if you don't have some type of nomenclature to distinguish one thing from the other.

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Originally Posted by PaulaQ

Actually, while not everyone is bisexual, Kinsey established pretty decisively that ...

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We can all cut and paste from Wikipedia and I will bet my life no one here owns nor has read the real study. My chief complaint of the study in general is that is was done in 1948. This was a time when Freudian thinking was all the rage but has since been proven to be largely crap. The academic criticisms of Kinsey a far more relevant:

"Academic criticisms were made pertaining to sample selection and sample bias in the reports' methodology. Two main problems cited were that significant portions of the samples come from prison populations and male prostitutes, and that people who volunteer to be interviewed about taboo subject are likely to suffer from the problem of self-selection. Both undermine the usefulness of the sample in terms of determining the tendencies of the overall population. In 1948, the same year as the original publication, a committee of the American Statistical Association, including notable statisticians such as John Tukey, condemned the sampling procedure. Tukey was perhaps the most vocal critic, saying, "A random selection of three people would have been better than a group of 300 chosen by Mr. Kinsey."[13][14] Criticism principally revolved around the over-representation of some groups in the sample: 25% were, or had been, prison inmates, and 5% were male prostitutes. "

Volunteer bias is the killer in any research. This same phenomenon is seen all the time when people go looking for Bigfoot, space aliens or Noah's arc. Every single searcher FINDS the thing for which they are searching.

The kinsey scale is as follows:
Rating Description
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual (bisexual)
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual
X Asexual

Because Kinsey actually assigned people to the scale, it was inherently biased. Not only that but the subjectivity is incredible! What the heck does "only incidentally" or "more than incidentally" even mean? Ask a thousand people and you will get a thousand different answers. So many problems exist with this report and how it was constructed that it offers no more than a historic curiosity. A snap shot in time when sex was brought front and center contrary to how sex was discussed in that repressed time. An intestine side note is that this study was not peer reviewed and despite multiple efforts, no study has ever been able to duplicate the results.

Hey, I just found Bigfoot. Stay tuned.