Do you wish to be a full transexual ?

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Originally Posted by sharonone

Are you Only CD because you are afraid to do the whole process ? or are you good this way ?

I mean - don't mant of the CD's wish to have real Breasts... to look like real women... and don't do this because of the family or not have the guts to "go all the way"?

or you like being man part of the day... and don't FEEL you should have been born as women ?

thanks all

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I like to being both man and women part of the day about breasts sometimes when I dressed feel to have real breasts for sometimes but I remove my dress this desire gone disappear but before 2 years I used cream to enlarge my breasts for one month and became little small and accept what is it no need to enlargement more also in this time used some pills content estrogen feminine hormones but after read more about it this pills will damage my liver with long term therefore I quit it and satisfy what am I

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The problem is i really in the middle... i not sure i'm 100% woman. or is it fear that concuring me ?

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I apologize - I was a little flip in my answer to you. I wasn't sure whether or not you making a really serious enquiry or not. I believe you are, though.

You could be in the middle, or it could be fear? Many of us transsexuals identify as crossdressers at first. I'd hoped that's all I was too - but nope, I'm pretty much female.

Nobody online can really tell you who you are. If this is really causing you issues in your life - and listen, I can certainly sympathize with you if it does - you should consult with a gender therapist - a psychologist or counselor who is experienced in dealing with gender issues. They can help you figure out your gender issues - although ultimately the answer is inside of you.

There are a number of very good reasons why someone would fear transition:
1. Hormone therapy pretty much assures your penis will never really work right again.

2. There's generally no "secret" transition. Unlike being a CD, where you can lead a double life, if you are TS, you are exposed to the criticism of all you meet.

3. If you are married, about 9 out of 10 marriages to TSs fail. Some do make it - not that many, and it isn't remotely the same relationship post transition.

4. Many employers are unfriendly to trans employees - you can lose your career.

5. Many TSs lose family members who no longer accept them, as well as some or all of their friends.

6. The medical costs for surgeries of various kinds are high, and frequently uninsured.

Can you describe some of the negative feelings you have that seem to be associated with your gender? The reason people generally transition is because in various ways, life as a man is worse for them than *any* of the issues I mention above. That was certainly the case for me. I reached a point where death was preferable to life as a man. (I hope you aren't at that point!)

It's normal for many CDs to wonder if they are transsexual. It's also pretty normal for many TSs to think "I'm just a CD". This makes it really confusing for everyone!

As i said - thank you All.
I never expected more than 2-3-4 replies :)
Never meant to upset anyone...
As i said - i'm confused about myself.

Yes i'm not Active in the forum.. because - i'm from israel... we have a trans forum there - and it's easier for me to write in Hebrew so...
I asked the question becuase of MY confusion. Not yours. I respect each and every.

I know i always was a Boyish-girlish guy.
but after 32 age - i don't look that way.. and my innder feeling doesn't reflect my look.
well.. sorry - seems i can't get the question right :(

Thank you - i was very geniune with my question and didn't mean to offened anyone.

I feel like i'm more Androgenic than TS... but as i age - my look doesn't fit my inner feeling. (you start to lose your hair .. .etc.)...

I'm in real confusions.

Had i known for 100 % i should have been a girl - i would DO IT.
But i likes being in the middle. i always had a girlish look. but now - when i age my look doesn't fit my inner feeling .

I am not the cliched CD - i never dressed in my moms heels or played with Barbies.
On the other hand - i never see myself as "men". So - what am i ?

in the last year i only first time saw the term Genderqueer- so i look into that.

And my original question - i think was legite :) I see some pic. of you as REAL women.. so i asked if Fear is one thing that stopps you from doing the whole process (because if so - it's a pity !)

No. I am happy as a man who can enjoy dressing as a woman does, albeit a sixties woman.

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Originally Posted by sharonone

As i said - thank you All.
I never expected more than 2-3-4 replies :)
Never meant to upset anyone...
As i said - i'm confused about myself.

Yes i'm not Active in the forum.. because - i'm from israel... we have a trans forum there - and it's easier for me to write in Hebrew so...

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Shalom! Mah schlomech? (or something like that.. it was a long time since I visited Israel)

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Originally Posted by sharonone

And my original question - i think was legite :) *I see some pic. of you as REAL women.. so i asked if Fear is one thing that stopps you from doing the whole process (because if so - it's a pity !)

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Alright, must have been a combination of language issues and clumsy wording... you seem sincere.. so it's all good in the hood! :)

Anyway, pro-tip: try not to see being a TS as a step "up" from being a CD.. but as separate (though possibly related) situations.

That way, the replies will be probably be less sharp of tone.

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Originally Posted by I Am Paula

If you are TS, you were born TS. Anything in between was denial.

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I understand that you believe that very strongly. But I don't see how one could ever prove it. There are many strange things on earth, and I find it equally possible that some people were actually male crossdressers and then later (perhaps due to changing hormone levels) they no longer felt like CDers but felt like women. At that point, the brain tells them that they were always women (because human brains are good at rationalizing many things). But I don't see how one could prove that they were always women inside, who just lived decades in denial.

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Originally Posted by steph1964

Many crossdressers fantasize about transitioning, and there are definitely transsexuals who are trying to convince themselves that they are crossdressers, but not transitioning because we are afraid isn't an option.

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But apparently for many people it is an option for decades... until it no longer is an option. Or else those people evolved, from someone who didn't need to transition (and maybe was male inside?) into someone who did need to transition and was clearly female inside.

As a GG, I don't have personal experience with these feelings. But I know from reading Julia Serano's Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity that our society used to believe that all MtF transsexuals always knew they were transsexual, hated their penises, and were attracted to men (p. 124) and now we acknowledge that some MtF transsexuals realized they were transsexual as adults, don't mind their penises, and are attracted to women. Our understanding of what's true can change over time, and even if something feels completely true right now, that doesn't mean that it is true.

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Originally Posted by JessM.

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Originally Posted by I Am Paula

If you are TS, you were born TS. Anything in between was denial.

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I understand that you believe that very strongly. But I don't see how one could ever prove it. There are many strange things on earth, and I find it equally possible that some people were actually male crossdressers and then later (perhaps due to changing hormone levels) they no longer felt like CDers but felt like women.

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So I'll start by saying what I always say - the science of gender really sucks. (One of my friends was just at a seminar in LA where they discussed a scientific analysis of the existing scientific studies of gender - and they concluded that all of it was pretty terribly flawed.) So to some degree, anyone's guess is as good as that of the scientists.

I think we are pretty sure that it isn't changing hormone levels - Dr. Benjamin was an endocrinologist, he came up with the idea "let's pump 'em full o' girl juice", and so I think he'd have observed this. (And every medical person who deals with transsexuals looks for this - and it is never consistent.) Maybe a change in the way our bodies react to hormones - sort of like how Type II diabetics are believed to become partially immune to their own insulin. But whatever it is - it's not apparently something that's easy to spot in a blood test, or if it is, we don't know what to look for yet.

The best evidence we had female or partially female brains is:
1. A fair number of us manifest this behavior as kids, and are really never able to function in their gender role assigned at birth.
2. We know that intersex conditions in other organs of the body occur, so why not the brain?
3. We know that structurally brains are different between males and females to some extent.
4. Intersex people of ambiguous gender are often "fixed" right after birth, and a gender chosen for them. Often the docs guess wrong, and a condition more or less identical to the gender dysphoria of transsexuals occurs. This is another hint, in my opinion, that this stuff is based on physiology, and probably set by the time we're born.
So the argument would be that this is an intersex condition affecting the brain. We don't know why it happens - but we don't understand other types of intersex conditions either.

As for a theoretical basis for a male CD feeling later in life that they were women, the best theory for that is Dr. Blanchard's Autogynephilia theory, which is a fine enough theory given the very limited data set Dr. Blanchard had to work with, but it's one testable hypothesis - that there will be distinctive differences between androphilic and gynephilic MtF's doesn't hold up very well with larger data sets.

So the scientists don't have a great theory that suggests we start as men and then change to women internally - but that doesn't make it not the case. But it isn't much to go on either - because nobody can suggest why we'd change or how this would happen.

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At that point, the brain tells them that they were always women (because human brains are good at rationalizing many things). But I don't see how one could prove that they were always women inside, who just lived decades in denial.

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Actually, how do genetic women prove they are really female in their minds - many FtM's would disagree that they are women? Many MtF's say "I've always known", even when we didn't always know because for a long time, if you wanted treatment, those were the magic words you uttered to your gatekeepers, and honestly, even now, there is GREAT temptation to tell medical providers - almost all of whom are cisgendered and DO NOT understand what it feels like to be trans *at all* - what they want to hear.

Some of us get pretty good hints we're women early on - but we either suppress it or deny it because it seems so impossible to act on. Others of us really don't have any clue until much later in life, although in retrospect, can see behaviors that caused us problems that vanished shortly after we started estrogen. Cross dressing is a pretty good hint, at least it suggests something may be going on with gender, as opposed to some of the more vague behavioral hints.

Oh, one last point - medical folks love when we self-identify, because until we do, they aren't exactly GREAT at figuring out "oh yeah, you're trans." (I'm talking about PCP's, and psychotherapists, not gender therapists - by the time someone sees a gender therapist, they've pretty much identified the issue.) So great - we have to self-identify to get treatment.

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Originally Posted by Jess M.

But apparently for many people it is an option for decades... until it no longer is an option. Or else those people evolved, from someone who didn't need to transition (and maybe was male inside?) into someone who did need to transition and was clearly female inside.

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Well, I mean it's an option to avoid treatment for Type II Diabetes too, until the docs start having to amputate stuff. It doesn't mean that would make it a good idea to encourage that behavior, which is essentially what society by and large does to trans*. People, for the most part, don't want us to get treatment, don't believe this stuff is real, and some of these people are legislators. As for the "option" of putting off treatment - for us older girls there weren't a hell of a lot of options when we were younger. Many of us suffered for decades. Indeed, some (not you, but some) argue that since we can put it off for some time, why can't we just put it off forever - because it isn't a real condition!

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our society used to believe that all MtF transsexuals always knew they were transsexual, hated their penises, and were attracted to men

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This is an excellent point Jess! They believed that because all of the transsexuals who'd been studied by scientists up to that point fit that profile very well. That's the central problem with the science of gender - the scientists investigate the people who come in for treatment. These individuals are a small subsection of the trans community.

I've never wanted to be anything other than a part time crossdresser. I admire those who are more full time or are transitioning, it's just never been a desire of mine.

nope..no intrest at all....i like the best of both worlds....somewhere right in between is good enough for me...

I have form time to time wished I was born a woman but that is about all I want to do. I still like being a man but have a feminine side that needs to come out every now and then.

I have never desired to go full-on TS. Nor have I ever wished I was born a GG. I am perfectly happy being what I am and thus minimizing any possible drama that either of those options might create. I deal with enough drama already just trying to keep my secret between me and my wife and no one else in my life, most of whom would likely not understand or tolerate it.

I have no desire to be a full ts, I like being a man. That being said I truly love everything about women and the female form. My cd desires started when I was very young and wanted to please women. I was extremely shy and had no confidence around women. I married young a continued to dress when possible because I was sure I was not the man I should be but my desire to admire women kept growing. My wife and I grew apart, I had a brief and extremely stupid fling that made me realize that I wanted my wife completely. We worked things out but she found some of my cd stash that I hung on to. Yeah that's a new problem! This was 10 years ago and more has happened I could go on but maybe later. Bottom line, I would like to be both without fear

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Originally Posted by lpjamey

I have no desire to be a full ts, I like being a man. That being said I truly love everything about women and the female form. My cd desires started when I was very young and wanted to please women. I was extremely shy and had no confidence around women. I married young a continued to dress when possible because I was sure I was not the man I should be but my desire to admire women kept growing. My wife and I grew apart, I had a brief and extremely stupid fling that made me realize that I wanted my wife completely. We worked things out but she found some of my cd stash that I hung on to. Yeah that's a new problem! This was 10 years ago and more has happened I could go on but maybe later. Bottom line, I would like to be both without fear

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I was mortified with all my exes, when it came to the idea they would find out. I am glad I am married to the woman I am now, who knows, and ACCEPTS my urges, as long as they do not interfere with our lives. I believe that is a reasonable expectation.

I've given this a lot of thought before posting but I feel that I fall in between. I don't want to transition fully but I do want breast augmentation to make dressing and looking like a female easier. I have thought about going all the way but that's not what I want. I can't say I like what I got nor can I say I will like going all the way. I just long for having breasts, real breasts even if they are fake. I want to go to sleep with them there and wake up the next morning and still have them

I would love to be a full TS and having the all the girly bits. Even though though i cross dress the desire to be a girl is to strong for me.

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Originally Posted by feelikeagirl

I would love to be a full TS and having the all the girly bits. Even though though i cross dress the desire to be a girl is to strong for me.

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I don't just want the girly bits I want them functional, so I could experience everything in life a genetic woman does, be a wife raise a family etc.

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Originally Posted by wilt575

I don't just want the girly bits I want them functional, so I could experience everything in life a genetic woman does, be a wife raise a family etc.

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That would be lovely.

I've giving it some long thought. I'd like get everything done except keep my junk.

No, I do not have any desire to transition at all. That isn't the road I'm traveling.

I was born male and know that and don't wish to change it.

For me it is all about the clothes and impression of presenting as a woman.

At the end of the day I am still a man.

I'd have to say I dunno. I've had many dreams about permanently switching sides.
I have to say to an extent I feel my male side has always been a bit undeveloped and relatively useless to me all my life.
Being male doesn't get me anything different. And while CDing has been great, calming, and such, I still feel something missing..more complete but not fully. If I'd the money to toss around, I'd already be at least talking with therapists on all of this. I have had depression issues that CDing also has seemed to have helped somewhat.
Then there's the practical side of yeah, I wish I had my own real boobs instead of having to use forms. But I'd want them with the female sensitivity as well (hormone growth rather than just a boob job).
Thing is, I don't have much holding me back if I did change. No wife or girlfriend, and friends and family I think would be OK with it.
The only real threat would be on work changes... but my work did handle one other MtF transitioner and has good rules for that. It's just a fact that after a long time with the company (IT in a retail environment) if I got let go, the added fact of Trans to the age aspect might be bad for job hunting. Along with all of this, is the sheer expense. I don't get paid near what I should get paid as is.. so dealing with all the med expenses would be messy.
But If I had the means to do it all, I might.

Absolutely not for me. I am a Gemini and we are happy playing both sides of the table.
I do know several transexuals who I believe went into it unadvised. Their lives with their family, friends and work were messes. They each went into it with virtually no support network and the transitional stress merely piled onto the rest of it. They all got into empty sexual relationships with very poor choices.
Dorothy managed to get back to Kansas, but surgery is forever.

BTW, look back at male fashion from the 17th and 18th centuries. Just as many fine fabrics, colours, knickers, waistcoats, corsets, beautiful long wigs and makeup.

We are normal, society is out of touch.

To tell you the truth ...my inner feeling is pushing the whole throttle to be a real woman ..
Yet Society and the pressure of the real circumstances is stopping my dream at the CD..
....Being a woman has its advantages ,,,but also some other parts of the world women are placed in a disadvantage realm .

Being a full time woman would be nice, but I'm loving what I have! Much respect to those that are, however.

To say I have never thought about transitioning would be a lie. I am happy with my male side, but I have often wondered what is truely going on with my desires to CD. An earlier poster talked about our brains being very adept at rationalising and convincing us of truths. If there was a magic potion that completely changed me to a real, genetic woman; I would still have a hard time taking a drink. I would be tempted to. :o

"Full" transsexual? What is that? You either are a woman or are not.

Being gender variant (genderqueer, two-spirit, bi-gendered, etc.) is not the same. A tiny minority of these will transition for a variety of reasons. VERY few CDs ever do because it is a fantasy. I mean that non-judgementally, that it is a pull or longing for something they are not.

The suggestion that transsexuals are distinguished from others by their ability to willfully overcome fear is absurd. Many, perhaps most transsexuals expend a great deal of energy trying to NOT transition. The fear of leaving the safe cover of false manhood behind is very hard to escape and transition itself is a huge unknown in most ways. Screwing up your courage doesn't even register. Desperation and need are more like it.