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I'm out and live as Jean a transgender person. I've been accepted and I'm treated as one of the girls. My friend's are regular every day people, not transgender.
I pretty much agree with Pat.
Tracii, I don't want to get into all this, but this is my problem with Halloween. This is not a one time thing for me, this is my life. I don't need fashion police, I have my friends for that.
I am out as well Jean I don't hide that I am a TG person
Dressing is not a hobby or a fetish for me.
I don't see the draw of Halloween either.
Tracii,
Come and live in my hamlet (11 people) some of them do not even know what is Halloween and the rest are to old to bother! But at the end of the day I am totally accepted as a crossdresser/transgender person.
Pretty awesome Bobbi .
My neighbors all know and we get along fine and thats good with me.
Tracii
Also my local mayor, his deputy and the rest of the town council all know including the town secretary and loads more plus all my ex pat friends of who I have lost none as a result.
I am me and they all know it. I think I am the first cd/trans in living history to live here! A cultural shock for them? not at all.
My point exactly. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracii G
Attachment 282863
Thank you for al the replies.
I have been going out en femme for many years. Initially, my style was overly sexy for any girls who you come across in public (shopping mall). I still love mini skirt, but had come to dressed more decent to blend in with the crowd.
One thing I recently noticed is that wearing a skater dress is so much more comfortable. There is no need to tuck at all.
Irene makes a good point TG, CD,TS alike seem to go thru a "puberty" of sorts when it comes to how they dress.
How many new CDers do we see here start off with the all pink very pre teen and teen girly stuff to move on to the overly sexual look only to end up at a more everyday look of women you see most of the time.
I know there may be some that want to argue my observation but it is something I have noticed for many years.
Tracii,
I guess the bottom line is there's a right time and a right place , the three you referred to didn't get it right. If they had walked in and made it clear they were dressed for a fund raising event or something similar and politely asked the management if they minded them having a meal dressed as they were maybe it wouldn't have been a problem.
It is a very difficult choice, for hotels and caterers , to me they made the wrong call and lost more business. I guess if they were three guys in drab and worse for wear on drink they would have been as disruptive to the the other customers , sadly they appeared to be oblivious to you and your friend, and deeply upset her, I hope she eventually gets over it .
The only time I've had any kind of reaction was when I was having breakfast in a hotel dressed and an old lady stopped in front of me propped herself on her walking stick , looked me up and down , said nothing and walked away . I felt I was dressed decently enough not to cause a bad reaction .
The choice was up to the restaurant so not much I could do about it.
You think I would have learned to keep my mouth shut around here because its obvious I am part of a very small minority.
But that minority is exactly why we love having you around here. You're not afraid to speak your mind, even if you know it will piss people off. You keeps it real!
Kaylie stick around here long enough and see how you get treated when you voice a strong opinion on a subject you are passionate about.
Been there, done that on other forums under other names. I've been the black sheep many a time already. A lot of people don't like me because I'll call it as I see it, and don't sugarcoat anything just to save someone else's feelings. On the other hand, I also get a whole LOT of people respecting me for not backing down, either.
"If the truth hurts, too bad - it's still the truth."
By all means call things as you see them, but on this forum we do insist on politeness and respect. You agreed to those rules when you signed up, as did everyone else. We also strongly prefer you stick to the topic of the OP, so if you have some transgender awareness thoughts, play on.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayliedaskope
Sorry, Pat, that came out a little harsher than I first thought when writing it.
Tracii,
That was the point I was making , the restaurant made the mistake and paid the price . Under different circumstances we have all been in restaurants where some people don't know how to behave , I'm not sure if my wife would be very accepting if she was sitting near to a CDer, apart from me of course !
I agree Teresa but I didn't cause the problem I just had to pay the price.
Tracii,
That's whole sorry point of all this, you were the one to suffer and the staff did nothing! those deviants should have been shown the door, legal action by them later? no way they were dressed inappropriately for such a place it was a great pity that you were left to shoulder all the unpleasantness of it all.
Last Wednesday I was talking with my very close friend Minster K. He is the resterant manager at a casino. I didn't bring up customer's that are not properly dress because they would not let those three in the casino's front door in the first place. I have never visited with him at work. We were talking about Halloween, he showed me a picture of this mask his sister made for his costume this year. Every year he wears a costume to work. I'm thinking of going there this year and asked him if it would be ok for me to stop and say hi. I have told him before that I use to go there a lot when I first started going out in public. He told me that it would be ok and that he has seen a few of us there. Some have met him and call him out to say hi. He is such a kind sole, this dose not bother him at all. He is one of the few gay friends I have, he is out and everyone at his work knows. One of his wait staff comes up to him and says " there's one of those people out there. " Minster K says "no, don't even go there. " I told him to tell his wait staff all they want is to be treated like anyone else , do it with a smile and they will get a good tip.
Jean,
Isn't there a saying that a smile is worth a thousand words ? I wish more people tried it !
To further the point that exposure breeds understanding/acceptance, I share this story with my childhood. I was nearly 5 before I saw my first black person in real life. I was scared, and full of questions. When I entered elementary school,I began to become exposed more and more to different races. I wasn't long until I started to have a more diverse circle of friends. Exposure to different ethnicitys desensitized that young child to the outward appearances of others different from myself.
To further the point of desensitivity though exposure, I could point to my time with the media. I covered a lot of bad car wrecks in my day. My first real bad one one I was like, Oooo,,, ok, that's a little rough. But after a while blood and guts became just another day at the office.
Hollywood has to constantly up their game as audiences become more savvy and spot ticks. Making Superman fly in the 50's with wires hardly anyone noticed back then... Today we'd spot that in a heart beat. When CGI first came out, audiences were amazed! Today's audience is board by early CGI... It looks like a bad video game.
However, as another poster mentioned, exposure on it's own isn't enough.... We must also make that exposure a positive one! I am transgender. I work as my true self at a mall kiosk. I do my best to not only be a positive ambassador for the company I work for, but also for the trans community as well. I go out of my way to be clean ad polished, polite, smile/be friendly, knowledgeable, and reasonably funny. Imagine the negative image people would have if I sat there at kiosk lipstick smeared all over my face like I'd been making out with someone like a drunken prom date, clothes disheveled, flip'n people "the bird" while drinking from a bottle in a paper bag...
So with positive exposure, Trans and CD people will eventually become "matter of fact" instead of "wow, look at that!"