Secrets and Lies

When i first told my now ex wife,and i told her when we first started getting serious,I felt she desearved to know ,and af she didnt chose to accept it we wouldnt have wasted along time togather.But any way i told her how i am not ashamed of who or what i am and she could tell whom ever she wanted,,Now that i am out completely I dont ask my friends and family to hide it,,As a matter of fact i encourage them to go ahead and tell every one they know.That way i dont have to worry about who knows and who doesnt.Not every body was cool with it ,but i havent been hassled about it.The people who are cool with me have told me and i am very welcome to visit them dressed fem any time i chose,But i always ask first so they know what i will be wearing when i get to their house,What made me feel so good was the general rule with my friends,(most are married couples )If i am at their house and someone comes over and has a problem with how i look,,They can leave.I was talking about that while at one of my friends house and said that if i was visiting him and his wife and other guests came over and couldnt handle it ,i would leave to keep from making it uncomfortable for everyone,,My male friend kind of got mad and told me that he wouldnt let me leave,,i was there first and he would throw anyone out personally if they did or said anything

When I met my wife to be and long before we married I told her everything and said if you want to jump ship now is the time. Well she didn’t and over time I was forced so far back into the closet I found her clogs she lost in 1985!
Look if I liked dressing like a klingon (from star trek) or even Fred Flintstone there would be no problem but sense it is as a woman then there is a big deal. The bedroom thing is the best point made here I have never revealed the last time I had intercourse to my family and (thank god ) they don’t tell me. The thought of Aunt Judy and Uncle John doing it is truly revolting but they do (I would hope they do, they had children at least they did at one time) but I don’t want to know about it. The same is true for my bedroom or even night stalking habits. Besides when was the last time you heard of some one losing their job for going to a Star Trek convention. Come out in some jobs and your career can be measured in seconds.
Have a woman wear a three piece suite that a man would and it is sheik but turn the tables and there is no end to the questions.

Look I am not the one to advise my marriage was dead in 26 years so what do I know, but that was not what killed it didn’t help but there was underling resentment because I was open and honest and she did not follow thru with her word so live and learn!

The “secret” you keep is one in your bedroom it belongs to you two not your parents or you girlfriends maybe your sex therapist but NO one else love him/her for what he is when he is or find some one you can. Believe me “playing” and doing this half way will only result in lost time (and do I know about that) and hard feelings.

Sorry to be so long winded and hope I have been of some help(any help)!!:2c:

Sincerely,
Khimme

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Originally Posted by Tina Dixon

A little question here! Why is keeping a secret thought of as a lie?

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Because like a lie it can be discovered, and the consequences of that might be undesired.

Going back to the beginning post of this thread: all the more reason for a man to come out, so others can come out too.

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Originally Posted by Tree GG

I am so tired of hearing how hard it is for a big, strong man to reveal his CDing to his partner and how it's oh so unfair that the SO doesn't immediately jump on the gender duality bandwagon as a spokesperson. I'm sure it is hard, don't get me wrong, but the femme personality traits were never hidden as much as you guys seem to think. We knew about them, we even liked them or we wouldn't have been attracted.

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[SIZE="3"]Your point is valid, for me I had to accept that this "IS" just who I am and until I could do that I put my whole life in termoil. Now I couldn't cared who knows, I am not out to work or family, but if they were to find out "My Secret" I would not deny it, more that likely would be relieved. For me this has become more the norm than just something I do.[/SIZE]