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Wow, a lot of amazing answers. My dad has been dead for about 15 years. Even though he was not very demonstrative, I know that he was proud of me and my guy accomplishments. I do not believe that he would have understood my CDing. I think he would have been quite upset. I am just as glad that he never found out.
Jaydee
I do not know how proud Dad was, he and mom both knew from the age of 9 or 10) all that was ever said by either was, PUT MY HIGH HEELS BACK IN THE CLOSET. What I do know is that on many many occasions I heard him say, It does not matter what color one is, when we bleed, we all bleed red, and if you turn us inside-out we all look the same. My dad was born in 1910 in the western half of Missouri, worked at farming and maintenance work all of his life and his best friend for many years was a black man from Alabama that moved to Missouri in the early 50's. The explanation above was given any time one of his co-workers or other aquaintenaces would ask why he spent so much time with a black man.
Usually there would be an added, BESIDES, HE KNOWS ALL THE GOOD FISHING HOLES AROUND HERE!!!
Do I think my father would be proud?
Short answer NO
A tad more information...my dad was a WWII army sergeant in the British Army, a guy's guy, very athletic, football (soccer) was his passion. Along comes me, not athletic, hated football, was chubby all my life. To top things off, he woke me one morning, I was wearing a night gown. I will never forget the verbal lashing and physical abuse ever.
Was he proud of me...no, I tried hard to be a good son, but I guess I came up short.
Super topic. I've often thought it would make a great subject for a book. Maybe someday I'll write one.
But, my answer is no. No, No, Hell No!
I was born in the early 1950's. My dad was a tough, blue collar, hard (very hard!) drinking WWII veteran who mostly just despised me for being too small, too smart, and too nice. (Yes, looking back, although my family never knew of my CD'ing, I can see that he and most everyone could see through my facade. Even a bit of of femininity on a boy shows. I was different, and in the worst way possible.)
Although I ended up going to war, then to college, into a good professional job, and also supported my parents to a great degree, in my father's eyes I never equaled my brothers (who did none of the above, but were "real" men).
Now, a decade after he died, I've put it all into perspective and maybe have accepted his good and bad. But mostly I don't care. I avoid men who are like him, and I have never treated my son in the manner I was treated.
Cindi Johnson
My Dad loves me regardless of what i do but wishes that crossdressing never existed.
Cindi...your story almost completely mirrors mine. The only difference largely being that I was in the military too but never went to war. (I was very lucky not to have to go to Vietnam.)Quote:
Originally Posted by Cindi Johnson
My dad was a very blue collar, 12-13 hour a day, 6 day a week worker, a bread truck driver, and the sole provider for his family, and like your dad, he too was a WW II veteran who served in the Pacific theatre near the end of war. (In the Philippines) My dad had orders to be in the 3rd wave of the invasion of Japan when President Truman made the decision to drop the atomic bomb...which just may have saved not only his life but hundreds of thousands of other G.I.'s. A very sobering thought for me for most of my life is that had the atomic bombs never been dropped on Japan, my dad could very well have been killed in the subsequent invasion and I never would have been born and my brother, who was 3 at the time, would have had to have grown up without a father, much like many children of that war had to. War...such a terrible, terrible waste. :sad:
My dad was born in 1906. He was 65 on my 15th birthday. He did not understand my interest in engineering (he tried to get me to be an accountant :brolleyes:). He would definitely not have understood my gender spectrum, nor would he ever have been able to 'deal' with it before he died at 80. I wasn't very close to him, 5th of 6 on a farm where work took priority over most things, so I can't speak directly to how he would have felt. But I do believe that he would have been proud of me - regardless of cd'ing. I say this because I am proud of myself and my life, and given that I believe he was a reasonable person, he would have no reason not to be. Maybe a little drumming my own drum there, but honestly, I believe that he would have been able to see what I have done in life, and been proud of that.
My mother had a soft spot for me. I think she sensed the real me. She passed when I was 16 after a few years battling cancer. I sometimes wonder if she would have helped me see myself much clearer, sooner.:sad:
Strict Irish Catholic raised in Boston...ah,... I think not!!!!
Put me down in the no column...
But my saving grace to them was "he's adopted and not of our flesh wife"!!!!! he could have always blamed it on my biological parents for my "short comings"!!!!
ngie
Both my parents already know, and they re-assure me they are proud of me, because despite this (or perhaps in spite of it), I am a pretty balanced individual who is intelligent, has an education, and a job. There isn't a single ounce of doubt that they are proud of me and my accomplishments. I doubt they are specifically proud of this aspect, but as a whole, I believe they are.
probably would have been my father's response. We had a pretty good relationship after I graduated from college - enjoyed similar literature and were interested in the same issues. He tended to speak in generalities and I to speak in specific examples. We traded books regularly. I visited him every 4 - 6 weeks until he died, not quite 2 years ago (I still think I should take a new book to him).
As far as I know, he had no clue about my cross-dressing, but we had enough mutual respect by the time I would have been ready to discuss CD'ing with him (the last year, roughly), that I think his response would have been this email's subject. He might have had some questions, so it could have led to another interesting discussion... I miss those...
Lee
my father is happy that i'm experimenting, and proud that i'm not a societal robot. however, i come from a very, very different family than most, despite Irish catholic upbringing.
Heck! Dad hasn't talked to me since he found out that I stole his favorite pair of heels.