My wife did not want to look at this site and is very upset I even brought up talking about crossdressing. She printed out the Founder''s story from crossdresserswives.com. They only let GGs join. Any thoughts on that site?
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My wife did not want to look at this site and is very upset I even brought up talking about crossdressing. She printed out the Founder''s story from crossdresserswives.com. They only let GGs join. Any thoughts on that site?
In my opinion, it is biased. Anyone can read their forum, you do not need to be a member, but apparently it attracts the wives of severely fetishistic, abusive, and perhaps alcoholic crossdressers, at least according to the posts that I have read. At any rate, the accounts that I've read there of husbands' actions do not match what we read in this forum or my own experience with my SO or any other CDer that I know. I did read the founder's story many years ago. You can read it for yourself. She paints a bleak, somewhat tunnel-visioned and stereotypical picture.Quote:
Originally Posted by ClosetED
To Patti Remick, I do not mind "GG". It's just convenient shorthand used on a discussion board, that I take to mean "genetic female" even if someone decided a long time ago to refer to us as "genetic girls", and it stuck.
I don't mind being called GG .... only just learning all the different abbreviations but getting there slowly but surely :)
I haven't seen the site you mention ClosetEd ... I have only ever been here. I am sorry to hear your wife was so upset.
Hmmmm .... just read The Founder.
how come this woman, at the beginning, states that she was so blissfully happy that New Years Eve, yet as soon as her husband reveals he likes wearing womens clothing he becomes a cocaine addict and a pervert??
Sorry ... not at all fair or reasonable :sad:
Exactly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bo-peep
.......
Can you tell me about boobs?
I'm curious about body image issues that women would have growing up and how you felt about them.
Only recently I learned how I was affected by the stereotypical idealized bust and was worried that mine weren't correct before a member PMed me and gave me a link where I read how vastly different boobs can be and that it's normal.
(Sorry if that's not totally clear, aside from my own I have 0 experience with them.)
Are/were you affected by the idealized bust put forth by the media?
I was a late bloomer and also tall and athletic. I did not have the curvy figure of my shorter friends. :p I remember noticing that boys liked big boobs and vaguely wanting to also have big boobs, but it didn't keep me awake at night since I also noticed that some boys noticed ME. :) On the other hand, my best friend developed early and had huge boobs. She tried as best she could to minimize them because she didn't like looking different than the other girls. Keep in mind, this was during our teenage years.Quote:
Originally Posted by whowhatwhen
The media influenced mostly my feelings about body weight and not boobs, since most models are skinny and small breasted. I put on about 20-25 lbs in my early 20s and I felt AWFUL about myself, despite some of the weight having gone to my boobs.
So to answer your question, no I was never inordinately displeased with my breasts.
I wanted to ask about coming out to female friends & even mum's. What would be considered the better way to let them know or re-know, especially if they have any idea
Just be honest and be ready and willing to answer any questions asked .... and dont be defensive either ok xxxx
Ok, thanks for our responseQuote:
Originally Posted by BilliebabeGG
Click on the link for good advice. It is entitled "How To Tell Your Partner", but the same principles apply no matter who you tell:Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia_Barry76
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...l-your-partner
being that I'm just a casual/off & on, still in the closet dresser, what would some of the main items of clothes & lingerie should I have in my wardrobe?
Amelia, you can have what suits your fancy in your closet - whatever you see around you that you like: skirts, dresses, underwear, shoes, pantyhose. For more detailed answers, I'm directing you to our "Clothing, Accessories, & Shopping Talk" section:
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...-Shopping-Talk
Dear GGs
Hello this is my first question to a GG. Where would a woman in a new area with no friends go out? Sounds a weird question but I'm stir crazy in Maria mode.
Maria
If I lived in a new area, I'd go to local restaurants, I'd poke around in local shops, galleries, and bookstores. I don't do the bar scene, so if there was a coffee shop with wi-fi I'd bring my laptop and become a regular there. Presumably I'd have moved there for work, and so I'd also try to befriend people at work and ask if they wanted to do something after work. I'd also join a local gym and start exercising regularly (it's a good place to meet guys :)). In the summer time, I might join a golf club and sign up for foursomes. And I'd be on the phone or on Skype with my friends a lot.
I'm writing with a request toshare a thought or two with my Spouse. I came out to her last March. (she found this site still up on our computer). And since then she's been wonderful but feels isolated. She does speak with my gender therapist and her own counselor but I think might feel better having a place to come to where she can speak with other spouses. So was wondering if you all might share a comment or two about what this site's, what it's meant to you and how you think it might help her feel less isolated?
Thank you! AMANDA
Amanda, it would take 5 minutes for your wife to set up an account here. She could introduce herself in the GG thread that's in our Intro section, and after 10 posts she could join the FAB (female at birth) private support section. And before having posted 10 times, she could ask any question that she wants in our Loved Ones section. If she does this, she will feel less isolated.
Hi ... I think your wife would find a great deal of support here. There are so many lovely people who are honest and who really care. I have had some lovely personal messages from people to reassure me and to give helpful advice ... your wife will be welcomed and will certainly not feel isolated anymore :)Quote:
Originally Posted by cdtraveler
Eryn showed me this site shortly after she came out to me with her discovery that she wanted and needed to dress. It's been enormously helpful to me in many ways. As I read different posts, the members of this forum became real to me, with genuine worries, concerns, and love for their spouses. Some posts became jumping-off points where Eryn and I could discuss different issues. And it's always helpful for me to read what other GGs have to say, and get their many different views. I would definitely encourage your wife to set up an account and read and post so that she doesn't feel alone.Quote:
Originally Posted by cdtraveler
I felt isolated also. It's not a topic you can openly discuss with people in your life. My husband (now ex) introduced me to this site. I was in the FAB for a while but I found the most help from the CD's themselves. This place has been an eye opener and helped shape my feelings about cd/tg/ts people. She will certainly feel less isolated and will make freinds. I have a few good freinds that I communicate with in real life that I met through here.Quote:
Originally Posted by cdtraveler
I have a practical question. Let's say you are wearing this dress. You are still at home. Your forget to paint your nails or some other thing that usually means you sit for several minutes. Do you sit on the chiffon skirt and wrinkle it or, do you sort of hike it up so there is no weight on the material. I hiked it up but I'm a guy.
As a GG I smooth the fabric under me and sit, not hike it up.
I would sit on it. I'll have to sit sometime during the evening anyway. Clothes do get wrinkled. :)
... I also need to add that some fabrics wrinkle more than others, as you know. If my tolerance for wrinkles is not high, I do a wrinkle test when I buy the outfit. I grab a handful of fabric in my hand in the changing room and squeeze tight for a few seconds. If the wrinkles are pronounced and don't immediately fall out (for example, some linen), I personally would not buy the outfit. But, some people don't worry about the wrinkles.
Hiking it up can wrinkle it more than smoothing it out and sitting on it. I'd always go for the smooth it out and sit on it never for the hike it up. If I was going out but first had to do my nails or something like that then I wouldn't put the skirt on until afterwards. Some wrinkles are expected from natural movement and sitting.
How do GGs keep high heel shoes on? I can try on ones that fit but as soon as I walk they slip like mad. I thought about heel grips but I'm doubtful that their would be enough room for them and the foot. Also when you are in a shop you can't very well say can I try them with my heel grips in.
Maria
Hi Maria,
Funny you should ask this as this is actually a problem I have too and would be interested to see how other GG's resolve this :) I have very narrow feet so trying to find the right size shoe is fine but the width is nearly always too wide. I tried heel grips and adding gel pads (the party feet style pads) to the inside of the shoe but this didn't help much as the problem was with the width of the shoe. I now tend to go for heels with an ankle strap, the ones with a nice dainty strap that looks very much like an ankle bracelet. At least then when I walk the shoe always remains in place.
I'm a GG Maria, I have the same problem, I'm a size 5 1/2 (UK) and it's very rare shops sell these sizes. I did however go to tesco and get some of those clear heel grips and the ones you put inside for the heel to sit on, problem solved :) I didn't think they'd work that well, but they did.
Another question please. I know a lot of GGs are very concious of keeping their weight under control. Last year I went from 16 stone 12 pounds to 13 stone 7 pounds but I still had a belly. I lost the weight everywhere else, fingers, wrists, bottom, ankles. I have since put on 1 stone 8 pounds and have restarted Weight Watchers with a goal of 12 stone 7 pounds. I just know I will still have a belly not complimentary of the way I would like my girl side to look.
There must be women who have had big bellys. How do women get and maintain a shapely figure.
Maria
Hi Maria
If you lose a large amount of weight too quickly, especially if you have been a larger size for a long time, the skin will be stretched and won't have the elasticity to shrink in the same time as the fat loss. So losing a large amount too quickly will leave saggy skin which can be a common problem for anyone losing weight.
As well as dieting you need to make sure you are exercising the whole body, paying attention to core muscles in the abdomen, thighs, bum areas. You need to be concentrating on aerobic fat burning work outs combined with toning exercises to increase the core muscle in the abdomen.
To maintain my figure and size I tend to be able to eat what I want, though I do favour low fat meals, plenty of fresh fruit and vegetable, I do drink about 1.5 litres of bottled water a day and I also excercise. Plenty of walking, dance, gardening, riding a bike and running round after children. When I do housework I have music on and I dance while doing it. I am also into hula hooping at the moment as it's fantastic for keeping the waist trim and toned.
Hi gg's
I really want to tell my so about my cd needs but feel unable to do so for fear of rejection also do you think she would feel shortchanged on the husband front, she hasn't had the most privileged upbringing and I fear telling her would compound this
Hi Danielle
There is a thread here with an excellent word by word way to tell your SO about this. I think the main points are to keep on stating that you love her and this does not change the person you are. Be prepared to answer any questions hse may have and to be totally honest. Yes there is a possibility of rejection as this is a subject which can take a bit of getting your head round, she may also surprise you and be accepting and supportive. Just be honest about your feelings.
Only you can help her feel that she is not "shortchanged" on the husband front by making sure you are still a loving and supportive husband to her.
Maria S, on maintaining a good body with a minimum of belly fat: proper nutrition with portion control (there are lots of websites for your height and weight, just google them) and adequate excercise.
Danielle, on telling your wife - this thread is also helpful: How To Tell Your Partner . Whether she feels shortchanged or not depends on her background and her values. Does she have traditional or liberal views? Is she socially prominent in your community? Is she an 'outside-the-box' thinker? Is she at child bearing age or are the children grown? Some younger women who are entering motherhood prefer a father figure for their children and are concerned that the crossdressing may go overboard. Other women simply do not want to live with the stigma, should their friends and community members find out. Some women are sexually turned off the prospect of husbands who want to feminize themselves, while other women are OK with it.
Danelle The ladies gave you great advice and threads to read.
Working with GGs for alot of them it is the keeping it from them that many seem to have the hardest time to get over.
I used to say TELL TELL TELL but now I say you know your wife the best.....reasons Reine had said.
Best Wishes on what you decide. And if you do make sure you explain it fully, do not say you will quit, do not make promises you can not keep be honest and answer any questions and repeatly tell her you are the same person she loves, you love her, you were afraid you would lose her but need to tell her and need her to understand. Be prepared and do it when you are alone.
Here is a link from yrs back where GGs tell how they felt from the not knowing and most finding out by accident.
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...rom-a-GG-s-POV
When wearing pants or yoga pants are they suspose to go up and over your belly. What I want to know is do they go to your natural waist line or below that.
Mine just sit on my hips, just below my waistline.
I talked to my SO about my cding and she is almost ok with it. She knows now and says she ok but isn't sure she ever wants to see anypart because she is afraid to lose that masculine manly veiw of me. I don't push the issue at all but wonder if this is common to start or if there is something I can do to show her I'm still the same person? Thank you.
This is common. However, some wives feel more comfortable with the idea of CDing in time, but others do not. A lot depends on how much their husbands overstep the boundaries (if they do things behind their wives' backs), and also the GG's background (how old is she, is she open minded, does she adhere to traditional and religious values, etc). The importance is to have lots of open and honest communication about this.
GGs: Would any of you mind telling me what the word "man" means to you? I know what it means to me...it's more of a goal than a characteristic...but since I was born male and am obsessed with women's clothes, it makes my identity agonizingly elusive...but maybe what the word means to me isn't at all what it means to a woman...
It used to mean, to me, someone with courage and integrity. But women have these qualities too. So I guess that fundamentally it means someone with a male anatomy who is comfortable in his own skin. :)
New Topic and apologize if this has been asked already.
Do GG's prefer nylon panties or cotton? Most CD/TG would say nylon, like me, a VF nylon brief or Olga nylon brief lover. They are so comfy and soft. Feel great with a slip or nylon nightgown on. Do tell...
Sliplover personally I like Nylon or silky panties just cuz they feel great and your clothes slip over them nicely. However being a GG if I'm workin out or gonna get sweaty I wear cotton simply because they breathe better and you are at a lower risk for developing complications such as a yeast infection but for CDers luckily that is a problem. So if I had the choice with no side effects I'd go with the nylon silky panties everytime.
Some of my favs,
http://www.jcpenney.com/dotcom/vanit...ntDimVal=brief
http://www.jcpenney.com/dotcom/linge...ntDimVal=brief
What are some of your favorites and styles?
cotton because I get bladder infections if I wear nylon.
Cotton, for the reasons given, but just going by style, I think these are cute. I think of the high-waisted ones as "granny panties" but still have some.
Today I tried on new ear ring hoops following having my ears pierced a couple of months ago. I found it really hard to do because my eyesight is not as young as it used to be. There must be GGs who wear ear rings whose eyesight could be better. All I ended up doing was making my ear bleed.
Any help appreciated.
Maria
Hi Maria, get a 10x or 12x magnifying mirror: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Danielle-Bla...3567660&sr=1-1
This will help until you're so used to putting on earrings and taking them off, that you will be able to do it by feel, without looking into a mirror at all. Your hand will know where your ear piercing is, it's just a matter of building up "muscle memory". :)
I was just browsing this thread, and came across the reference to crossdresserswives.com so I had to visit. Wish I had not though - it is pure vitriol! Any of you real ladies had a look at it, and if so, what do you think - I already know what Reine (bless you) thinks!
To GG's: I have always been a feminist, and, whatever the reasons I began wearing women's clothes as a boy and young man, as I grow older the reasons I continue to wear only feminine things has more and more to do with making a personal statement regarding my admiration for and appreciation of women. Every day I make a conscious decision to diminish my masculinity and accentuate my inward femininity by dressing, thinking, feeling, and acting as much like a woman as I can. I am not transsexual, so this is really a conscious, voluntary choice and an expression of my "feminism". My question to you genuine ladies is why do women look down on cross dressing, inwardly feminine heterosexual (not "effeminate" gay) men as "sissies" and only respect "normal" hyper masculine men? I am proud to be a "sissy" if that means a man who looks up to women as the "superior" gender and strives to be as much like a woman as he can be out of admiration for women. What can you say to me about this? Can you respect me for my special way of acting out my "feminism"?
I have did check it out once and wish I had not....tunnel vision and narrow minded is what I remember.Quote:
Originally Posted by Amanda M
I think only some woman want a NORMAL masculine man. ...not I......Quote:
Originally Posted by jamiemarion
Be yourself and be proud of who you are.
yes i was on that site.
didnt know this site existed.
most of my troubles were caused by this tunnell vision.
:(