When in drab I have absolutely no attraction to men! When dressed as a woman I must admit I look at men as sexual objects!
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When in drab I have absolutely no attraction to men! When dressed as a woman I must admit I look at men as sexual objects!
Am with you hon. before i met my SO, i loved being as womanly as possible in a man's arms. Made me feel absolutly feminine.Quote:
Originally Posted by DanielleT
Good point, Paula! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulaPenny
When en femme I am defiantly Bi. I've had 3 or 4 boyfriends over the years and 3 girlfriends and have enjoyed them all. I could never do anything with a guy while in guy mode, but when I'm en femme I enjoy being with a gentleman...
I am sorry about the confusion about my avatar. it's just that due to my circumstances I can not post my own pictures. As I have stated in other post, Helen Mirren is my ideal as to what a woman should be. Since I am older (59) I can not see myself aspiring to be a 20 something starlite, but a mature beutiful woman is someone I can dream i could be. I do hope you all understand.
Hi all - it's been a long long time since I've visited this site and posted anything on this forum. I've thought about this question quite a bit and I think that the claim "if you're attracted to men while dressed, you're attracted to men while not dressed" isn't entirely accurate since it turns on how we understand 'attracted'. Here's what I've noticed (something I've talked about on my blog). I find that I'm viscerally attracted to women - I *notice* women, especially attractive women. Men? I don't really notice them much. The good looking men I do notice, I notice more in the way I may notice a nice house, or a nice car, etc. - it's purely like noticing a fact. With women, however, it's not just a noticing, but a noticing coupled with a sensual, desirous touch, which varies in degrees depending on how attractive I find the woman.
Now, with that said, when I'm dressed, I noticed that I found myself being "attracted" to men. But notice that I put that in scare quotes. The attraction towards men while I'm dressed is totally and completely distinct in its phenomenology. I am not attracted to them in the same way that I am attracted to women. After some serious thinking, I realized that the attraction is completely derivative and based on my own desire to look and feel like a woman. To have a man looking at me, desiring me lustfully, etc. turns me on only because it heightens my sense of 'being a woman' (i.e. feeling like a woman), and it's this heightened feeling of femininity that turns me on, not necessarily the man per se. So it's as if the man is the thing that could complete my transition to 'being a woman'.
This all personal so I am in no way suggesting that this is the case for everyone else. I've experimented with men before and certain things disgusted me and turned me off completely, while other things turned me on (the man staring at me, manhandling me from behind while I'm fully dressed, etc.)
So, for me, the man (this sounds bad) becomes more like a tool to heighten my sense of feeling like a woman, and that is what turns me on, not the man himself. The typical aesthetic qualities of a man (handsome, fit, etc.) do not directly turn me on at all, but only insofar as they accentuate my feeling feminine and like a sexy woman. The typical aesthetic qualities I find physically attractive in a woman (face, hair, nice legs, slender body, proportioned breasts, etc.) directly and immediately turn me on.
I think that my observations of my own experiences suggest that I'm not quite gay, since it seems that, at least from what I gather from my gay friends, that being gay means experiencing an attraction for the same sex in the way I experience towards members of the opposite sex.
I'm attracted to men dressed or not. But the important thing for me is that when dressed I feel they're attracted to me. This isn't always true. In fact for one man it was a positive turn off. But he was gay. What being dressed does so is to give me the licence to be myself fully as in female. No more pretence. As a man. I'm holding back, never allowing myself to completely express my female side. In fact that's why I often underdress. It's an attempt to free myself up a little.
While there are many completely straight crossdressers. I do believe some are not being completely straight (pun there) to themselves or their wives/SOs. My own experience leads me to believe many CDs are bi and can only really express it when dressed.
Which all just proves that people are complex creatures.
Oh and btw I do like the clothes too.
Edit: Having read Jill's post above I agree with much of it in my case except that being dressed doesn't change that. I too have found that my attraction to women is quite different to the attraction I have for men and I believe too that the way a gay man sees a man is different to what I see in a man. My own interpretation is that I see men the way women do. That's one of the reasons I have few male friends. Eventually I become attracted to them. This is awkward with straight men, needless to say and if he's gay, he's not looking for a woman.
Never been with a man, but have had desires (when dressed). Always thought that having a guy treat me like a lady, feeling his arms around me would be wonderful. Sometimes when dressed head to toes I want to feel and express femininity so much I think being with a man would bring me closer to my desire of womanhood....just been too scared to do it, so far
OK, let's get definite about how I personally feel. I am bi-sexual but, as a male, I like gay, bi-sexual or straight men only for sex, not relationships. I like women for both. When dressed, for some reason I suddenly lose interest in gay men and find straight men exceptionally attractive...even though I know the chance of hooking up with a straight man is almost zero. Someone explain to me why I lose interest in gay men when dressed...I sure can't explain it.
My current Boy Friend considers himself starigh as have the majority of my male partners. They only inact when I'm "ArleneRaquel."
WHERE in tarnation's have you been Girlie? We're glad you're back:hugs:Quote:
Originally Posted by jill_cd_girl
Don't worry Sweetie, I didn't even know about Helen. That avatar is you and I know you through her. :hugs:Quote:
Originally Posted by ruthie801
Food for the wolves, make sure you carry something to ward them off, like a flyswatter :heehee:Quote:
Originally Posted by mariehart
I most certainly like women but sometimes when dressed and only sometimes I would like to wear bra,garters and nylons and be with a man but if I found myself in that scenario not sure if I could do it so it will probably remain only an occaional fantasy
I keep thinking about it a lot and it appears that I just can't think of myself in any sexual context as a man, it would explain quite a lot actually.
I'd say I'm in sort of a reverse to a lot of posts where I'm more interested in men but I'm still a bit curious about being with a woman though it's moot at the time being regardless.
Even so, finding a woman that's a top would be like an atom in a haystack kind of deal.
Personally, I have no attraction to men whether enfemme or otherwise. Now...another cross dresser is another story entirely. Just something we share, common experience, gender identity, not really sure. But there is a special relationship between 2 girls that GG's or men cannot match.
Suppose that makes me a lipstick lesbian, but I accept and embrace that.
Hugs.
The majority of men I met considered themselves straight because they are only attracted to you when you're dressed as a woman. Some absolutely refused to see me as a male. One even had a further stipulation. I had to smell female which I apparently did. Some would agree they were bi. This is an interesting phenomenon not much investigated.Quote:
Originally Posted by ArleneRaquel
Here's an interesting experiment. Although no one knows what's inside of someone's pants, try to discern whether these men are attracted to post-op transsexuals. According to members in our TS section, on average they're not. Which means that ultimately they're attracted to the one thing that GGs don't have ... which doesn't exactly make them straight.Quote:
Originally Posted by mariehart
its crossed my mind when i am dressed, if i feel happy about it then ya give it a try only can so no
You and me both sister. LOLQuote:
Originally Posted by Donna June
Sorry. I dont have an attraction to genetic males in either boy or girl mode. I guess that makes me a lesbian?
I have never done anything with a guy but would consider one particular activity if the chance presented itself in the right way....
Beyond that, I have no desire to hug kiss or be 'taken' by a guy. Girls are too awesome, and soft, and well....womanly...
Very interesting thoughts. I just love to be dressed and out among men. The flirting and having them come on to me is so very exciting. Having a man making love to me and treating me as a lady seems to be the pinnacle of cross dressing and being feminine.
Marie, I speak as one, Men want to satisfy a fire. This fire, is overbearing. Beauty is a major factor in helping w/ quenching it. If a man has had his full of what a woman offers, then to enhance the fire, we may seek "a difference" in a sexual fantasy. A beautiful GG, just doesn't cut it anymore. But, it wouldn't be Lovemaking, it would just be lustful sex IMHO.Quote:
Originally Posted by mariehart
Like I said Reine, A Difference.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
I'm afraid I must agree, at least for me. I cannot give myself completely to a man.Quote:
Originally Posted by anneob2002
Yes, it's very interesting to see this, I actually see.........myself, when I was a youngen. :heehee:Quote:
Originally Posted by Alaina Ann
Totally agree, Alaina! For me, this is pink heaven! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Alaina Ann
Been there, done that. However, I personally enjoy the company, feel, and (fill in the blank) of other CD's.
oooo no way I'm Straight out lesbian however if it did come up to my attention I could be a bit deviant but no kissing :-)
What's interesting, is that a couple made no attempt to see or touch me down there. Which suits me as I didn't want them to anyway. But like most men they were interested in what I could do for them. I didn't really understand that. Others of course were more interested.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Maybe this is the answer:We can tied ourselves in knots trying to understand the nuances of human sexuality. But I gave up on that a while ago. Now I just run with it. I do think it's fair to say that most men are most interested in their own pleasure and their own penis. Not exactly a revelation!Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticLady
Right!Quote:
Originally Posted by mariehart
And there's even an article in last Sunday's NYT that reveals this holds true for both genders now. Women (at least college women) are just as interested in sex, and separate emotion from sex as do men! :)
At any rate, if women were to specifically seek FtMs, I wouldn't say they were exactly straight just as I don't consider straight the men who specifically seek MtFs. My SO and I have been to many T-bars and really the admirers are in a class of their own. I don't at all get the same vibe from them as I do from men who are interested in GGs. In fact, one late night my SO and I went out with a handful of TGs after the support group meeting, to a LGBT bar. I'm tall plus I was wearing stilettos, so I was hit on by an admirer who I'm sure took me to be a CD. Let me tell you that a sure-fire way to get these guys away from you is to tell them you're a GG! :p
You should read this excerpt from the author, Dr. Richard Novik (Alice in Genderland) who has been on the scene for years:
Men Who Might Be Interested - Alice Novik
Me too....Also attracted to pretty TVs, whether I am dressed or not.Quote:
Originally Posted by JuliaC
I'm only attracted women and other cd's. But since I like to wear gowns, I have thought about going on a romantic date with a man. Some fine dining, slow dancing, and maybe even a goodnight kiss. The man would obviously be a gentleman, a real prince charming. But it's just a fantasy, if push came to shove, I don't know if I could go through with it.
A good case for three worlds that sometimes intersect: straight, gay, trans.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
I'm bi-sexual, but I really prefer men and I have had several very rewarding experiences while dating men
I don't switch gender preference when I'm femme, I expand it to include both sexes -- or all three sexes if you count TGs separately. I like to say women are my native tongue and men are my second language. And think what you will, the interest in men as lovers evaporates when I'm not in femme mode. It's very real, I assure you.
Like others have noted, however, as a feminine person I do not relate to men as instinctively and on all levels the way I do with women. In fact, the interest seems to be fairly narrow, although I sometimes think that is only because I have not spent time with a man with whom I felt a great deal of chemistry, or had anything resembling a bona fide relationship. Shoulda started way earlier, I guess. It's something I would love to explore, but only -- and I mean only -- as a gurl.
Obviously it is very common for a crossdresser to experience certain curiosities about men, whether that be a newfound sexual urge or simply a desire for male company -- or as some have said, a desire for a more complete experience as a woman. I would like to interject one thing however, especially for the newbies -- there can be a few surprises in store. In other words, the reality does not always match the fantasy. For one thing, the lower forms of the species can be incredibly thoughtless and crude, so you may have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince. IF you find a prince. And too, if you ever decide to do the wild thang with a guy, you should pay close attention to how and what you're feeling during the experience. If it's everything you'd dreamed, then quit analyzing it and enjoy it for what it is. And if it doesn't really push your buttons, then be honest with yourself about that too.
Personally, I've come to the conclusion that while I might have an order of preference, I really don't care whether the SO is a man, woman or TG, I would just like the opportunity to experience an ongoing, meaningful relationship with another person as a femme. And whoever and whatever that person might be, there needs to be way more than sex to keep it going. Being able to carry on a decent conversation about something other than my underwear or his you-know-what would be a start.
Very well said Sherri.
My preference remains the same whether dressed or not, what does seem to change is how the other person treats you when femme.
Nope. I'm a lesbian when dressed.
I have been trying to convince you for 3 years but you dont listen. Always try put a spin to favor your opinion. But you can see from this poll most CDs like and enjoy a man. Its part of being a woman. And I am not a creepy admirer. I wear a suit and tie and treat a lady right.....GG and CDs. But keep in mind I prefer CDs that are the same size, shape as a GG. Ones that look passable. I am not into men at all.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Let me say this really clearly. Being a woman has NOT ONE SINGLE THING to do with men. NOT ONE SINGLE THING. I know that many women find a sense of being more feminine in relationship to men but that is their personal dynamic and feeling. Men are NO part of *Being a woman* Being a woman is about BEING A WOMAN which includes ONE thing. Just one, being a woman. That's all. You are a woman then you ARE a woman. You don't need a man, many women spend their whole lives being "true" woman without ever being with a man. You don't need to DO anything to be a woman, your womanhood does not depend on anyone else. You don't have to be with anyone, you don't have to have sex with anyone, you don't even have to have anyone else in the universe know you are a woman to be a woman. You just are. It is your birth right, you are born that way even if you don't like men, even if you have a penis, even if you can't have children, even if you aren't pretty. Being a woman is in your heart and soul not in anything outside of you.Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
In the same way that being with a man is irrelevant to being a woman a suit and tie are irrelevant to being or not being creepy. Is there some sort of check at the suit and tie store where they verify you're not a creep before they sell you stuff? Because they are not doing their job! I've seen tons of pictures of Clarence Thomas in a suite and tie and OJ wore suit and tie all through his trial...as did I'm sure the Nightstalker and Ted Bundy. Just to name a few.
Hold your horses and calm down a little bit.
It’s was just a simple question. Each of us is different and I just wondered how many of us get turned-on by the whole idea of REALLY being a women, even if it’s just for a few hours on a weekend, and hook-up with a guy and have fun.
I’m not talking about cramps or having a miscarriage.
Actually, one real girl said it best when she said of CDers, “They have all the fun with none of the problems”.
One “problem” that I can think of is getting pregnant, passing a watermelon, and raising a child for 18 years.
This blog is supposed to be kind of fun. We’re all actors playing the role of a female, that’s it, and some of us take it to different levels, that’s all.
It’s all about fun and relaxing so we all don’t go bonkers.
Cheryl,
I thought your question was totally interesting and valid.
My issue is not with people desiring to be with men(I certainly have a deep understanding of wanting men) my issue with the idea of a woman's (or someone presenting as a woman) value being based on their connection to men.
The CD who has no interest in men while dressed is just as valid as the CD who has an interest in men while dressed. The woman (GG or TS) is not defined by her relationship to a man. I think it's important that this is mentioned, I would hate for there to be someone who felt they were less feminine because they were not attracted to men (or attractive to men) while dressed. Does that make sense?
You're proving my point! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
For me I can tell I'm not truly bisexual because I don't find kissing a man very pleasant. That's not to say I avoid it. I want to like it while dressed, but so far all I feel is strange. A very muscular guy or say biker type does not excite me anymore than just a regular guy while when I'm dressed. Male parts do though and it's size and shape. I go to work everyday at a university and there are buff young guys and beautiful young women everywhere.
I don't look at men in a sexual way. I could never look at my co-workers they are all men in a sexual way. Yet I constantly notice the young women on campus. I look at them sexually and at the same time I'm envious as in I wish I could look like that good. I am attracted to CDs who look from halfway passable to passable maybe preferring those who still have a masculine look.
Let me ask you this in all seriousness...Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
Are you fulfilling their needs as well? I mean not all CDs are going to be bottoms.......
But yeah I'll have to disagree about the part about being a woman, femininity isn't tied to sex.
Yes, I love to get dolled up on a weekend night, invite a guy over, and give him an oral rendition of "A Midsummer Night's Dream". If things really heat up, I enjoy quoting Freud and debating his theory of the difference between stages. Until fully embracing his theory on the "anal stage" of development, I never really felt fully "a woman".
But that's just me.
Not me. When I'm dressed I'm still looking at all the other women. Of course I'm not just looking at how cute & curvy they are. I'm also noticing their hair style, their clothes, their jewelry, their shoes.. :battingeyelashes:
Doesn't seem to happen for me. Of course, I think about guys enough as it is already. :p
Whenever I am totally dressed (which btw is never enough) I do think about being with a man. I have had a few encounters and found them to be pleasurable and rewarding. Does that mean that I'm gay??? Maybe, maybe not, but how can I be gay when I am dressed as a woman and feel like a woman to a degree. Should the opportunity arise and I find myself with a GG then I would be considered a lesbian (not bad though). Soto answer the posted question, YES, I THINK ABOUT GUYS WHEN I AM DRESSED!!!!!!!
Molly
Perfectly said! How this is not the case for all has always baffled me! :sad:Quote:
Originally Posted by jayme357
I loved this so much I quoted it on facebook. I attributed it to "Erin".Quote:
Originally Posted by ErinSassyPants
So, my lesbian daughter can't grow up to be a woman, since being with a man is part of being a woman?Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
Leona, Thank you :)
As for me....I'm attracted to GG's, TG women and other CD'ers when dressed. Regular men don't do anything for me at all. The beauty of women in all forms will always be quite a turn on for me.
Dawn