A couple nights ago, I again asked my wife if I may shave my legs...just to be sure I heard her right the first time. She again said yes...and rather nonchalantly...I was so happy and quickly had a tub bath, shaved my legs (it took me more than 30 minutes to remove the hair) and moisturized with lotion. My bare legs feel and look great!!
Question. Just how hairy are your legs? As I have stated in some threads I have no hair follicles on the back of my legs and very fine almost non-existent hair on the shins. No need to shave. Zero underarm hair too. My son looks like a hairy ape. I don't know where those genes came from although his natural grandfather's gene pool is not fully known.
Is it just an issue of the act of shaving your legs? Or would this really set the stage for in-law speculation or confrontation? At the beach I see a lot of totally shaved men. Some women love hairy guys. Some love clean shaven guys. None love their men in between because the stubble is irritating when intimate. Without going through seven pages on this thread to find the answer "Why does your wife not want you to have hair free legs?" Do you shave other parts of your body such as chest and back and underarms or forearms. I know when in public I would prefer wearing a long sleeve dress to hide my forearms. It would look rather strange if you were at a gathering with baby smooth legs and hairy arms and chest/back. That would raise eyebrows. Better to shave the entire body and project a new male image.
Stephanie, my legs are (were) very hairy. It took about four passes of the razor over every square inch of my legs to produce smoothly shaven legs. You are quite fortunate to have mostly hairless legs like yours. My wife doesn't so much personally care whether my legs are bare or hairy. Rather, she's concerned about what others would think. As much as I'd love to shave my chest and arms, they are hairy. I do have to wear long sleeved and relatively high necked attire since only my legs are shaved. I agree with you...I need to work toward a completely shaven body :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephanie47
Hey Nikki! Don't know if it would make it easier for you, but I ended up buying an electric hair trimmer off of amazon for about $10. I went over my legs with that first and then used the razor. It ended up cutting a whole lot of time and ended up helping with razor burn. The first time for me felt great for an hour before the burn set in. It was brutal. The hair trimmer worked wonders for me!
I also use an electric hair trimmer for the first pass. Then I shave my legs changing the razor blade several times. I shave using hair conditioner. Then I use an epilator on my legs and parts of my stomach.
This has worked well for me. Don't forget to moisturize.
Samantha and Lea,
I do have to admit the truth...I have an electric hair trimmer but consciously decided not to use it for several reasons:
1) I did want the hair removal to go slow...I enjoyed every minute of time it took to rid me of the unwanted hair. I knew I was done when the razor start to "squeak" against my hairless skin.
2) Our house isn't all that big and I was concerned that if my wife heard the trimmer going in the bathroom she'd change her mind about allowing me to shave and rush in and tell me to stop
3) Lathering up my legs with shaving gel and taking a razor to the legs one sweep at a time is enthralling
4) I wanted to save on electricity (just kidding)
5) I needed the practice with a manual razor...I hadn't shaved my legs in over a year...practice makes perfect and I've already had to reshave my legs a couple times since the initial "defuring"
6) My hair trimmer is electric and not battery powered...didn't want to electrocute myself in the tub...and shaving in a tub of warm bubbly bathwater is a must!
7) I didn't want to lie to my wife...I asked her for permission to shave my legs, not trim my legs...lol
Nikki
For a few days after I shaved my legs, my wife said for me to let the hair grow back. Despite her request, I thought I'd continue to shave and see if she would persist in asking me to stop shaving. Interesting and happily, it's been two weeks since first shaving my legs and she hasn't pestered me to stop keeping them silky smooth. We've even gone out in public together with me wearing shorts. No one has said a word or paid any attention to my bare legs. Hopefully, my wife will get use to my legs and let me keep them hairless for as long as I like...keeping my fingers (or should I say my bare legs) crossed!! :)
Oh well...it was nice as it lasted...my wife is insisting that I grow out my hair again until the fall
Welcome back to the "hair club"
not funny Samm...not funny at all!
Always being the optimist, you managed to keep them smooth quite a long time, so in the fall perhaps you can keep them hairless for 6 moths, baby steps Nikki...
Lauri K suggestions could lead to Divorce Court.
Try scheduling your wife for an all out makeover and clothing/heels for at least one night to calm her feelings of you looking better then her.
Try a MAC pro makeover
Nikki, I feel your pain! A few months ago I shaved my legs and my wife flipped out. I do run a hair trimmer over them and keep the hair short and she is ok with that. She also worries about what people will say.
I though it was funny because we spent a few days with friends from out of town. One of the guy wore shorts and I quickly noticed his legs were shaved but never mentioned it. After we left I asked my wife if she noticed and she had not. We spent three full days with them, he was in shorts the whole time and no one mentioned his shaved legs!
I would agree that most people don’t notice. We notice when other men have shaved legs (or at least I do) because it’s something we’re more conscious of. I wear long pants and sleeves more than I used to, but more for sun protection than any other reason. In just over one year I’ve had one person comment.
I agree 100%.Quote:
Originally Posted by biancabellelover
A little over a year and a half ago I began the process of having all my body hair removed by laser. Like Nikki's wife, my wife was mostly fine with the idea, her only concern being what other people would think. My reply was that I don't care what someone I don't know thinks. Then I pointed out that a male member of our extended family doesn't have any hair on his legs. (son-in-laws uncle). The funny thing is, she has spent way more time around him than I have and she never noticed.
Our daughter and the aforementioned son-in-law, who live in Austin, have stayed with us a few times over the past year while they were in town. I wore my normal at home clothes, knee length shorts and a tee-shirt, and made no effort to hide my smooth legs. Neither of them noticed, or at least if they had they didn't say anything.
Nikki, I get that you and your wife have a relationship built on respect and honesty, hopefully she will soon realize it's no ones business but yours whether you have any hair on your body.
If I might make a suggestion, spend some time doing a google search for photos of men on the beach. I think both you and your wife will be surprised by how many of them don't have any body hair.
My laser technician tells me nearly half of their clients are men. I go to a Medi-Spa for my treatments and they just opened their fifth location, so they have a lot of clients...
I agree that these days a ton of men have smooth bodies and I think women are just about split 50/50 on smooth or hairy
Dear,
Quite frankly, it's probably not about shaving per se, but rather why you are shaving. My wife has been complaining about the shaving as of late, but then almost every "hunk" shown in the movies is now bare chested. When I point that out, she says that they are OK because they have a great 6 pack. Then she complains that skin feels like a plucked chicken. Well that would depend on the last shave date, and waxing vs shaving, but it is a rationalization. Her REAL complaint is she doesn't like cross dressing because she doesn't like crossdressing. Period, no discussion.
Fortunately, for whatever reason, my hair isn't growing back very well and since my hair is light in color you can barely see it. But, certainly, my legs feel rough which isn't nearly as pleasant as when my legs were completely hairless and silky smooth.
Nikki, please don´t be offended by my question, but, aren´t your wife being a little selfish??
I read all the thread and it is always "she doesn´t like this, she doesn´t me to do that" an so on.
When will be your time to do something you like, to do something you want to do just because it pleases you??
A wedding is a two way relation, where you give up something and she give up something. I understand that she doesn´t like your dressing, but that can not be an excuse to control your life and you body.
If you like to shave, do it, don´t ask. It is easier to apologize than to ask permission!! :)
Today, no one cares if you shave. I am almost like a monkey (and my family and close friends know it), but when I shave, nobody even noticed it!! Even a female friend said she doesn´t like it when man shaves, blah, blah, blah but she didn´t notice I did it!!
Please, don´t take me wrong. ;)
Cheers,
Patricia
That reminds of me soooo much. Carfully well planned in advance dress up time, military precision with the clean up. Cant wear wig anymore since my gf discovered a long hair that was not her color on my pillow once. Have to hide and encrypt data on my phone since she's good with computer.. the apps p-calc is not good by the way, if your wife can looks at the installed apps list (or itunes on your pc) its easy to go to the apps description and see what is the special hiding feature of the calc... shes asked me.. why do you have a calc that can hide stuff... and off course.. show me the stuff.Quote:
Originally Posted by DIANEF
On the other hand, i feel like a sexy spy in heels when i can live my double life. The wife is way too good at finding clues.
I have zero photos of me en femme. I once took a picture but deleted it 5 min later... super detailed not to be outed...
Hi Patricia, I don't any offense to your question...yes, my wife is a bit selfish but I can understand where she's coming from. Presently, she is mostly convinced (but she is softening up) that others would care if they saw me w/ shave legs. But, given that I've been wearing shorts and its difficult to see my hair as it is growing back and I've not had anyone bothering to notice or saying anything I think my wife is beginning to appreciate that no one cares about my legs. Just this weekend, I was visiting several of her relatives and wearing shorts the whole time. My legs look hairless (certainly don't feel hairless) and not one person said a word. I think over time my wife will see that keeping my legs shaved year round will present not a care in the world to anyone. Staying sensitive to her feelings, and knowing her apprehension while she has grown in her acceptance of me as I express more and more of who I am (one complicated person), I'll take things slowly one step at a time. This approach is working for us. Nikki
No problem Nikki, each one of us have our time to make things work.
Body hair is a funny thing. I have A LOT of body hair (and almost nothing on my head), and the first time I shaved, I was impressed that nobody noticed. So, I saw that the fear was just in my head. Even my closest friends didn´t noticed.
Today, I shaved my legs, with a razor (I really want to try the wax) and it is a wonderful sensation.
Hope you can keep yours shaved. :)
Cheers,
Patricia
Nikki, i would be tempted to ask your wife if she really has a problem with your shaved legs, or if it is why you shave them that is the problem. I suspect the later. She doesn't sound like she accepts your dressing, but barely tolerates it. I believe you are in that strange place where you wife feels like she is in competition with another woman, that happens to be her husband!
Pumped...I think you're right or very close to it. Ever since my wife stumbled across some pics of me, she's refused to see any more pics or see me dressed. She complains occasionally about my weight loss and slim figure. And she lets me know that she knows that I keep my weight down to wear bodycon dresses which she abhors for herself. And she knows all about my big drawer of makeup and she wears so little makeup herself. And rarely, if ever wears a dress. She uses the excuse that she's overweight...she's a little overweight but not at all that much...and she'd look wonderful in a dress. What am I to do? I don't know?
It is a tough place to be. My first wife was over weight and she was crazy about it. I don't remember being anything more than supportive and really didn't have a problem with it. She was over weight when I married her. She also would never dress up as she felt she never looked good in anything. I remember buying her a nice outfit that fit her body type well and she looked awesome in it. It showed some cleavage, she had large breasts. She tried it on in the store, looked herself over in the mirror at the store several times. I couldn't get her to take it off so I could buy it for her she liked it do well. I ended up buying the outfit for her and that was the last time she wore it. We went out to eat or out bar hopping where it would have been appropriate to wear but she wouldn't do it. Made me crazy!
Yeah, my wife still continues to fret and complain about her weight and it brings her self-esteem down. And she just won't wear any dresses b/c of it. I explain to her that my self-esteem is ok even though I hate my body too. I need to tell her how would she feel if she was like me...female minded with a male body...that really sucks much more than being a little overweight
That’s a great analogy, Nikki, but it may not offer your wife much comfort. Here is a thought... would it be possible for the two of you to adopt a few lifestyle changes that over time could help her attain a more positive image. Doing it together is the key.
I don't think my ex-wife would approve-even when we were married. She did do my make-up once, for me, and put me in a pretty sheath dress for a while, but I think the newness of me being Roxanne wore off pretty quickly for her. Too bad, but then, she is gone, now. All I have to please now is myself!:cute:
I don't know if you and your wife are suffering from the same thing, i.e., lack of self esteem. If you're mental angst is having a female mind in a male body that is different than your wife having low self esteem because of her weight. I think you can overcome some of your inner negative feelings with shaving your body and maintaining a womanly body. Your plight is you don't live in a vacuum. Your married to a non accepting woman. Part of her issues is "What will other people think?" I've said many times part of a woman's baggage with her husband's cross dressing is being painted with the same brush society paints her husband with. Many times the fear of discovery is "What's wrong with HER? Why is she still married to a guy who wears women's clothing?" There is the fear of being cast aside by family, friends, neighbors and coworkers. Being 'outed' ends up being a reflection upon her.
This weight issue with women is a beast unto itself. I have encountered sometimes a person whose weight gain is from necessary medication. Unfortunate, but it happens. My wife has a BMI over 30. She qualifies as obese, although the manner in which the weight is carried does not make her look all that overweight. She knows she is overweight. If I say something medical, she lashes out. She is recovering from the effects of breast cancer treatments and surgery. One of the contributing causes to cancer, and not just breast cancer, is being overweight. Yet, she still drinks her soda/pop and eats ice cream too often. Once she was five foot two and 115 pounds. Now she is five foot two and 185. I truly do not care that she is overweight from the spirituality between us, but, I really would like to have her around for the next 15-20 years.
If your wife is marginally overweight which seems to be the case by your choice of words, she should be coaxed into losing weight for her own health. It is not a competition between her, a woman, and, her husband who wants to look terrific emulating a woman. A woman does not have to wear a dress to look desirable. Don't let her equate in her mind that losing weight is a competition to see who looks better in a dress. She should get annual checkups if she is not already doing that. And, she should, and you too, see a dietician to learn how to prepare meals, and, thus eat healthy. Maybe some psychological counseling is in order for your wife to deal with her lack of self esteem.
I have dropbox on my phone with "Camera Uploads" turned on. if I have a big batch that could be seen I just open dropbox, let the pics upload and then delete them from my phone.
of course that was a while ago... I haven't deleted them in a while because I'm getting to the point of being ok with someone seeing... taken a longgg time
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so when the group is together after dinner and you hand your phone to the stranger to take the pic? lol... i can feel my stomach twitch giving them an open window...
With respect to the hair removal issue, one "advantage" of getting old is the loss of hair and changes in the character of the remaining hair. Most of my head hair is gray and about 50% or more of body hair is also. The texture is also much finer, but seems to grow faster. On the other hand, if leg or arm hairs are pulled out by waxing or rotary hair removal device, it seems to take more time to regrow. Under my arms, the process seems much much slower. If I shave my legs, the renewed hair is so fine there seems to be little real stubble, just finer shorter hairs. Overall, the body hair is easier to manage. However, I don't recommend anybody try to speed up aging to help solve the hair problem as it is much nicer to be young. Try to stay young.
One :) of the unintended effects of having type 2 diabetes is loss of body hair on the legs. I don't recommend getting diabetes along with aging. Shave instead.
This was a very interesting read! With all of this happening do you regret having the pictures on your phone at all?
Honestly, I don't regret having the pics on the phone. While it wasn't my intention for my wife to see the pics I obviously wasn't being very careful in storing the pics on the phone and my wife had the password to the phone as well. I would like her to completely accept me and her viewing of the pics has opened up long conversations between the two of us about my feminine spirit and soul. So, all in all I don't have any regrets.Quote:
Originally Posted by CDYoga
Not to sound offensive, but reading all of this is like reading a dime store novel. In my very humble opinion it seems as if you are letting your wife control too much or everything. She knows and claims to accept your dressing. She knows of and where your clothing is, she has seen images of you dressed and in make up. Since she does not like or wear make up, which is not that unusal for many on our site. Shave and keep your legs shaved if that us what you want, or get them waxed. Wear your make up when you dress. Just don't push it in her face. In time she will come around.
How is it that your wife has a problem with you shaving your legs... but you have such feminine eyebrows? I don't understand...
CDYoga...I appreciate where you're coming from and I'll provide an explanation which is a bit lengthy. But, reality is reality. And first, I just must express how happy I was to read that you found my eyebrows to have a feminine appearance. Like many of us, I have a large dose of gender dysphoria and anytime I hear that I have feminine attributes...well, suffice to say it makes me feel really joyful! Now, onto to and explanation. Fortunately, I have very, very light colored hair and brows. In male mode, it's a bit of a challenge to see my brows to begin with. In addition, over many, many years I have also moderately plucked the thicker hairs of my brows to the point that they no longer grow in. I think getting older has also made a difference in my thicker hairs not returning. So, through several years of plucking, most of the brow hairs I have left are softer and shorter. That wasn't how it began though...if I didn't thin out my brows they did become a bit "bushy.' When I plucked I didn't narrow very much the thickness of my brow line. I like a thick well-defined brow as you can tell. When I first began to pluck my wife did complain but over time she seems to have accepted it. I think it helps that more men are grooming themselves to include shaping and taking care of their brows. My wife has noticed this. My barber (I wish I had a hair stylist!) also offers to trim my brows which I readily accept. My wife use to complain about me permitting the barber to trim my brows but I just said everyone else seems to be doing it. She simply doesn't complain any longer about what I've done to my brows. Moving on to my makeup routine...when I transform I create a feminine arch to my brow by gently lifting up the brow with the use of strategically placed surgical tape on my forehead. You can YouTube face taping to see how this is achieved. You cannot see the tape because it is high up on my forehead and my bangs hide the clear tape. Since we're on the subject of face taping I'll also share that I use tape to create higher cheekbones and smooth the skin around my jaw line and neck. It's really amazing what face tapping can do to create a more feminine appearance. Some people call face taping a non-surgical facelift. With respect to cosmetics, I use dark brown brow gel to define the shape and create the color of my brows. The before and after is truly remarkable. As I shared earlier, my brows are very light (honey blonde) in color but after all the work I spend getting my brows done they are very noticeable and I think help frame my eyes. I just LOVE a dark, well defined and thick brow! I hope this lengthy explanation answers your question. And if you have anymore, don't hesitate to ask! :) NikkiQuote:
Originally Posted by CDYoga
I would say more on a pm. But your inbox is full again! I do want to tell you that you are wonderful arm candy!
Since I've ordered my first two sleeveless dresses (really, I've only had long sleeve dresses in my wardrobe) I decided to just go ahead and significantly thin out the hair on my arms. Fortunately, my hair is very light in color. I knew the Mrs wouldn't like it and she didn't. She said don't do that again or I she may no longer allow me to dress up (she wasn't too angry fortunately). So, I'm ready to model my new dresses once they arrive! :) Nikki
When you dress now is your wife around.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jamienoir
Jamie, sometimes she's around other times not. But, when she's around she doesn't want to see me dressed. Keeps telling me that sometime in the future she will. I can tell she's concerned that I may transition.
A humorous story to share with a happy ending. About a week ago, my wife and I went shopping for a new car. When it came to settling on options I wanted fewer while my wife wanted more. We argued (or should say expressed our opinion) back and forth for quite some time with the sales associate sitting there patiently waiting for us to figure things out. Eventually, he gave up and left the room allowing us to keep discussing alone. Once he departed, my wife said to me I'll let you shave your legs and keep them shaved if you'll give me the options I want after all it's going to be my car. I immediately beamed back at her and said YES!!! as long as she'd let me keep my arm hair very short as well. She readily accepted the terms and commented on how quickly my attitude changed from argumentative to joy. If only she knew what gender dysphoria feels like and how expressing femininity in any way helps us feel better about ourselves. She's happy and I'm happy...yay!
I'll bet she gets a lot of what she wants going forward. But I hope she knows how lucky she is to be with you.
And I've got to let you know how lucky you are. Unbelievably hot! Your latest pictures are fabulous. There's a lot more I could say, but your inbox is full! You are too popular!
I love reading your posts.
I love reading her. Awful easy to look at too!
Nikki, Great story! Crissy
Your story is interesting. Do some wives have less of an issue when it's just a man in a dress. Do they start objecting more if the makeup skills and dress improves.
In your case Nikki you have that slim leggy presentation, so I can see her not wanting you to go hairless. Has she seen you in that little red number?
I'm not gonna lie - you inspired me to lose weight for dressing.
You may imagine or not be surprised to learn that my gender dysphoria complicates our relationship on so many different levels. Over time, I'll share them (in previous posts, I've touched upon them, but our relationship changes and grows so updates now and again are warranted). If we talk about weight and wardrobe those are topics of discussion if not issues between my wife and I. I lost and maintained my weight at about 168 pounds while my wife struggles to lose weight. She knows I'm greatly motivated to lose weight because I'm so focused (to the point of vanity) on how I look particularly in my bodycon dresses. Since she knows about my femininity and gender dysphoria she is well aware of my growing wardrobe. She's seen each purchase of mine (heck, I use her name when ordering all my things) ranging from the mundane little black dress and foundation garments (thank goodness for spanx and the like) to the OMGosh tight bandage dresses in above the knee and midi lengths. Now, my wife owns a couple skirts and a couple dresses and never wears them. Her excuse is that b/c of her weight (she's not that much overweight in my opinion) she wouldn't look good in either. Not true says I but she won't listen to me. Not to mention other reasons related to my feminine spirit and nature, my wife doesn't want to see me transformed and expressing my feminine side b/c she's a bit envious about my weight and knows I probably look pretty good in my body clinging dresses. She saw a few pics back a couple years ago that started this thread but I honestly don't know what pics she saw. Definitely, head shots were included in the mix for sure since I've always taken close up pics. But, as to what I was wearing I haven't a clue other than I know she wouldn't have seen me in my bandage dresses b/c I bought those since she stumbled across my pics. I hope in the future she'll be comfortable seeing me dressed up. Yet, I know a number of things will need to be addressed. And one of them will be just the subject we're talking about now. She needs to lose whatever weight will make her happy and feel good about wearing her dresses and skirts at least every once in a while. After that's resolved, we can move on to other aspects of my GD that have room for discussion and understanding between the two of us. All in all, we're in a good place and our relationship becomes stronger and stronger over time. When you can be open with your significant other about who you really are and how your really feel one's relationship is more intimate. Our marriage works b/c we are willing to grow and change, always be there for each other and try our hardest (it's difficult and we slip up regularly) not to judge one another. Again, I'll comment more about our unique relationship over time. And getting back to the latest twist in our lives, she's enjoying her optioned out new car while I'm thrilled with my smooth, bare legs and virtually hairless arms!
Nikki,
Jamie...I'm so pleased to know I inspired you to lose weight! Feeling good about how much the earth's gravity pulls down on us (whatever that is for each of us) is so important to our self-esteem, health and certainly, if not most importantly, for someone like me with a vain and insatiable itch for the most feminine of fashion, fitting into bodycon dresses!
Great story Nikki, the funniest part of the story is when the sales guy returns to find you have caved in, he is thinking well we know who wears the pants in THAT relationship. little does he know who wears the dresses :heehee:
I am so happy for you that you can now keep your legs and arms shaved and your wife gets to drive her car with lots of extras. have you thought about what else you can trade?