Should I help or keep out of it?

The mother is correct. The dressing probably will stop, not because the fatherly figure "cured" him but because the femm side of the boy will be so scared, he will put her deep deep away. Once he does that, he will either throw himself into being the butchest, baddest macho boy he can be or become quiet, withdrawn, depressed, and unsure of himself. Either way, his self-identification foundation will be shakey at best.

If he does so happen to continue dressing, and his dad cathes him, well, I don't see anything good coming from this type of scenerio. Of course, GnH says the father is a jerk, let's hope not. But, we all know the odds are against the father being open and accepting from the accounting GnH gave us.

Lets hope the boy's mother will take twice before she moves him away. If GnH's wife can convince the mother to talk to her son, be open, and just take it one day at a time.

Keep us up to date GnH. and Good Luck. Be Wise.

Cassie

GuynHeels,

Based upon your posts and FWIW, please remember that your neighbor is attempting to "help" her underage son (no matter how misguided we as outsiders may find that help to be). Please don't underestimate the love of a mother for her children either. If your neighbor does not wish to seek information from the internet or a counselor/therapist as your wife has suggested, your neighbor may be unwilling to accept information from any source on this personal family matter. As onerous and closed-minded as this sounds, there is little that can be done by you or your wife except to offer counsel when asked. As chivalrous and good-natured as it sounds, an introduction of you as a crossdresser will most likely be met with suspicion and you will be percieved by your neighbor as a potential threat and not as a well-adjusted outsider there to offer their help.

Getting involved with interpersonal family issues involving a minor is very risky...

Michelle

I have to agree with docrobbysherry and some of the others here. In a perfect world where everyone would help anyone else the answer to help is very easy but the fact of the matter is that the boy is underage and we live in "Who can I blame for this" world.

If the 15 yo boy or his mother take your help wrong, it could become a police and legal matter.

On top of being outed to the rest of the world. The boy and his mom are very unstable at this point and the mother would just love to blame this on someone.

And what if the boy is gay? BFD! HE will be who he is without any interference.

The best thing neighbors can do is BUTT OUT!. You could suggest softly that the boy and his mom seek a good therapist but that is all.

Guy, please be careful in this situation, there is no telling how you and your family could be hurt personally and professionally.

Shameful, gutless responses.

If, "the lord helps those who help themselves," there's no hope for many of you responders.

"See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!"

Like moving him to a "father" figure will cure his dressing...specially when he is a jerk..yea right..tell me how will this one will work out. The father catches him..mentally and possibly physically threatens him and causes further harm then to just let him dress and guide him and be supportive of him.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by guynheels

I thought I would post an update to what was happening next door. My wife spoke to our neighbor yesterday afternoon and she is now thinking about packing he son up and moving him in with his father out of town! I have met his father and I know why he is not a big part of their life because the guy is quite frankly, a jerk! According to my wife she feels that the reason things are the way they are is because he does not have a father figure in his everyday life. She has not told him about the boy dressing up but thinks that living with his father will make it go away. My wife told her that she should go online and research the subject or seek professional help before she did anything rash but I don't know if it helped. As I said, this is really a mess. I will let you know more when I hear something.

---

You might bery well be able to help as an understanding male and KEEPING yourself in that role. Providing too much information in an attempt fo rthe young man to identify with you could be disastrous (to both of you) Talking with and accepting him without passing judgement could be the best thing anyone could do for him while he figures out for himself where he is.

Poor kid....he wouldn't be this way if only he'd had a good, strong male role model in the house while he was growing up, like I did.

Ummmm.....whoops.

Lovely how Mom is now going to uproot his whole life (probably against his wishes) because she can't be bothered to try to understand something unfamiliar, and would rather just fall back on meaningless pop-culture cliches like "lack of a strong male role model."

While she's at it, maybe she ought to try sending him off on a nice ol' huntin' trip, or maybe one of them thar monster truck rallies.....that'll cure 'im up right good.

Rule No.1 Don't get involved with teenagers!
.
Rule No.2 If you feel you must get involved with teenagers See Rule No.1 again!
.
.................................................. ........................thanks........ORCHID

No updates lately????

I don't think any reasonable person on here thinks it would be a good idea to send the son to live with the Father so he can be exposed to a manly man and get straightened out. I certainly hope that doesn't happen. But I would guess that Mom is thinking that living with only women is screwing him up and we all know that is not the situation at all. But at this point it doesn't seem like Mom is very open minded. And I still think it would be a mistake for GnHz to throw himself into the discussion. I think GnHz wife can try to be a good friend to the obviously freaked out Mom. And maybe try to get her to think about the negative impact of breaking up her family. But I think GnHz trying to get involved would be like trying to put out a gas can fire by throwing a handgrenade on it. It is just not the appropriate thing to do at this time.

I agree with letting your wife take the lead, as they are good friends, and she came to her shows she trusts her,it would be good to hear from her friend (Your wife)about your cross dressing, and the fact that you have a wonderful relationship. She then could decide if she wants to talk to both of you together about this. I would not offer to talk to the children, If the mother is comfortable about what she learns from you both that would be a huge step for her and the relatiionship with her kids.
Probaly best for all not to jump in deep on this.
A side note if this works out what a lucky Boy, I hope it does! I can't imagine the stress going on their, actually I can!

My original advice was not to become involved, and not to allow the drama of this family "crisis" drag you into it.

Now with this new wrinkle of Mom wanting to send the boy back home with Dad (who is described as a not entirely wholesome influence/responsible adult) I think you and your wife should offer some gentle, carefully nuanced advice.

First, since your wife is the friend of this neighbor, most of the suggestions need to come from her.

Your wife has already said to the neighbor that she would do some internet research on the issue, so there is the perfect opening for further discussion.
It's okay for your wife to mention to the neighbor that "You know, I told my hubby yesterday that X might be moving back with his Dad, but I didn't say why he's moving. Hubby said that your decision to divorce "Bob" was very perceptive and wise, and just from the few times he's met him, he's a little worried about how responsible a father "Bob" might be."

At that point your wife can share with the neighbor some print outs of her internet research on the issue, hopefully with some sage advice (and of course that is easy to find these days thanks to our search engines).

Your wife can even offer the opinion that the "experts" she's read about don't see this as a big deal, and that the positive influence her son receives from having her as a mother is vastly more important than the shallow masculinity of "Bob".

The key is don't push it...let Mom come around to this idea.
I suspect that she will.

Keep us posted,

Chris

After reading most of the post i'm never one to agree with what most have to say. Most say stay out of it and don't help i disagree with that big time. You can always give ur advise if the mother wants to listen theres really no reason to tell anyone u crossdress.
The point is if you feel u can help out do so. Going with dad would be a bad idea for the kid i can see that. So whatever u do is really up to you not anyone else.

Your wife did the right thing. Move on.