Is Crossdressing a Sexual Thing?

It took over 30 years to figure it out but counseling cleared things up for me that CDing has been a sexual addiction for me. Especially with it starting at puberty, the lack of acceptance I have for myself when dressed in public and not feeling any kind of feminine characteristics. For anyone though it can be different, it's all in the way that you use it and it being sexual is not a bad thing unless it's keeping one from accomplishing necessary daily activities or if it causes high blood pressure and too many heart palpitations.

For me its not. I've never gotten that charge from dressing. While I will admit to getting excited over the prospect of new clothes, its not really a sexual excitement. I dress because it feels "right". When I'm dressed, I just feel...normal really. When I dress as a dude, I don't feel wrong though. It definitely feels different and I feel as if I'm seeing through different eyes. Dressing is a way for me to get in touch with both sides of myself.

Not sure that my thoughts or experiences are much different or any more enlightening beyond what has already been expressed here. But yes, for me, my beginning crossdresing was all about the rush and the gratification. So, I guess, like Pavlov's dog - instead of salivating when the bell rang, I would get excited at the thought and act of wearing lingerie. And, after awhile, "some" became more and more and more. Oddly, even though I have pursued "more" and have had at one time had a large collection of varying lingerie and even a skirt and several blouses, I have never gone "all the way" with wig, forms, make-up, accessories, wig, etc. So now my occasional underdressing does not have the same thrill that it used to have, I am still curious and excited (sexually? I'm not sure) to see just how feminine I can become. So, even though I have been partially dresing for many years, I stil look forward to some new experiences.

For me yes and no. It's definitely part of the allure but mostly it's about being desired and attractive to someone. I feel I'm a below average to average looking guy. As a girl I think I'm below average for sure, but a lot guys don't care they just know I'm gonna put out when I'm dressed so it feels like I'm marylin monroe. As a guy even in a gay bar I just don't feel wanted...

There are days when I just want to feel that "hug" from a bra and that lovely soft caress from my nylon panties. Than there are the days when I seem to need to feel and see a pair of stockings and thrill of a pair of heels. And than there are days when I must also have, and they are my favorites, the feel of a petticoat or two brushing against my stocking covered legs. No matter whether I am wearing jewelry or makeup, or just lingerie, I always find it to be sexy. And like the young Lady said, some days have a happy ending and some don't.

Hi Donna...

I have grappled with similar thoughts many times and have settled somewhere in between (I think.) I suspect that the crux of my quandary is much like the chicken or the egg introduction.

My penchant for dressing was first awakened around age 7 and I became sexually aware around age 10. In later years oftentimes I would ask myself if I would have been sexually charged as I was even if female attire was not a part of my life. It would seem obvious that I cannot answer that with 100% certainty but I suspect that I would have been sexually intrigued without the dressing but that the dressing may have enhanced the libido's drive just as well. It would seem fair to state that many women who wear such lovely clothes also enjoy sexual relations while wearing them so there is some normalcy in correlating sexual drive and what one wears (but not always, of course.)

While a sexual climax may have been the culmination of most dressing sessions in my teens and 20's it was not always the goal. Wearing such attire has been very comforting and relaxing even if not with any simultaneously involved sexual activity. Today, in my 40's, I still enjoy a healthy sexual life with my wife but also, on occasion, experience it when dressed, albeit, usually alone. It is not the goal but something that comes together once in a while.

My dressing is more like a hobby for myself rather than a sexual experience but sex is a normal part of life. The two - and other factors - intermingle quite nicely :)

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Originally Posted by AKADonna

Having dresses, off and on, for more than 50 years, I am convinced that during my younger, high testosterone years, my crossdressing gave me some strong sexual excitement. As I grew older , I have continued to enjoy feminine feelings and urges that seem to be more related to gender than to sex. In my 60's, I began to lose my arm, chest, leg and underarm hair and my skin became much smoother. I am convinced that my testosterone levels have diminished and, if possible, I am enjoying some estrogen production as demonstrated by breast growth and a more calm disposition.

Do you feel that your CDing is a sexual or gender thing at your age?

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Originally Posted by Tinkerbell-GG

This is another intriguing post. As the mother of young children, I'm well aware that gender realisation isn't until about age 6. Meaning, until that age, children believe they can be either/or/both/nothing.

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We still don't know when it happens, or even if it's limited to a certain age. Like many other things, many people develop at different rates, both psychologically and/or physically. So even if one child understands the concepts of gender at oh, age three, another might not get it until eight or nine. I learned that social scientists, like scientists in the physical sciences, try to pin down EVERYTHING to one, exact cause at one exact moment/age in a person's life. And that's why there's so much inaccuracy, because people are different, we don't all develop at the same times, or the same rates.

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Currently, my son thinks he can be a Ninja Turtle. He's very serious about this :) What I'm wondering is whether you mean a child before this age can get derailed from his/her path somehow and by age 6, they've somehow connected with the wrong gender? Or a Ninja Turtle?!

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As above, sure, a child can come to believe that they are truly the opposite gender from their physical sex. But I've seen a lot of evidence that in the search to accept and treat these tg kids, perhaps the psychological community ignores influences that are obvious to others, just not considered because of current beliefs about gender identity development.

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My H would be a pretty classic case of this derailment as his father was a pr**k and didn't care about him at all. His mother over compensated for this by doing the role of both parents, and his sister, being the brighter, prettier one, was just revered. I don't think my H had a very good male role model anywhere in his life, and women, in his mind and to this day, are just better.

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All this can, of course, influence a child's belief system about their gender. But what's also interesting, is that while some of us wind up questioning our gender identity, other kids go through the same experiences but don't go through the gender dysphoria thing.

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But while this theory works for my H, what about all those here who say they had textbook childhoods? Two nice parents? Ordinary siblings? Why would they question their identities?? Or did I just start yet another thread?! Lol

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Each of us has different experiences that influence whether we question our gender identity. And, it doesn't take much. For some kids, all it takes is the perceived belief that a parent might have preferred us to have been born the opposite sex (and that belief may not be demonstrated or obvious on the child's surface). So to make them happy, we assume the sexual gender identity that we believe they want. Like any other kids, we don't give complicated answers about why we feel that way, so it's easy for most adults to just assume that it's our natural personality, that we are transgendered from birth, because they simply don't know any better. Or consider a boy who's lousy at sports, and does not socialize with other boys because of that; he may feel that maybe something's different about himself, perhaps he's more like the girls in some way. Thats all it takes, the inate desire for a child to be accepted, to spur on the development of false beliefs to incredible lengths, and along the way, avoiding any evidence that those beliefs might be questionable, all because that child wants to be accepted above anything else.

Women have a variety of clothes to choose from, and yes, many of the outfits are designed to be "sexy" and attract mates. I would guess that if you asked some women if "wearing clothes" was sexual, they would say "sometimes".

Both men or women can get a rush for almost any reason whatsoever. It depends on the person.

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Originally Posted by AKADonna

Having dresses, off and on, for more than 50 years, I am convinced that during my younger, high testosterone years, my crossdressing gave me some strong sexual excitement. As I grew older , I have continued to enjoy feminine feelings and urges that seem to be more related to gender than to sex. In my 60's, I began to lose my arm, chest, leg and underarm hair and my skin became much smoother. I am convinced that my testosterone levels have diminished and, if possible, I am enjoying some estrogen production as demonstrated by breast growth and a more calm disposition.

Do you feel that your CDing is a sexual or gender thing at your age?

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I hope that the following paragraph goes some way to answering your question;
When I was very young(a shorts wearer)my Mother was also my Barber in the 1960`s. She would instruct me to sit on her stool in order to cut my hair. She frequently wore a black pleated cotton skirt which tickled my knees while she was cutting my fringe. I now apparently have the image of her skirt deeply in my eyes. It was 1st noticed by my(secondary) school teacher in the 1970`s & by subsequent girlfriends who have also mentioned it. The presence of the image has strongly influenced my desire to cross dress & I regularly wear one of my ultra comfortable, arousing & very swishy pleated or circle skirts at home. All of my images can be viewed at https.clubcrossdressers/stockings/coningsby131.htmi.

All of my images can be viewed at https.clubcrossdressers/stockings/coningsby131.htmi.

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Everyone is different, there is no real sexual element in it for me, maybe a little when I was younger but certainly not now, I think that was one of the points I pushed to my SO when I came clean to her, I don't think she could have accepted it if it were a sexual fetish, though for some I'm sure it is.