Two sisters, a doughty mother and a father who was dressed by his mother!
Always Ilsa:)
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Two sisters, a doughty mother and a father who was dressed by his mother!
Always Ilsa:)
Just like what most others said... I was born this way. I just needed to accept it. :)
Not to read into it but I believe that I had some help from outside sources. Missing father figure-mother wanted then preferred my sister accompanied by being molested by an uncle.
I remember being about 6 when my mom found me walking in her heels and makeup smeared all over my face. Then at 14 I remember being up late at night and praying to God that he would turn me in to a girl, all the while dressing in my moms clothes while she was out. After that I suppressed it until about 19, when I dressed as a hooker for halloween. It was electrifying. Years later and embracing who I am, I would say I was born this way... My Family doc and my psychologist concur
Although I can't prove it, I think what "caused" me to become a CD was that my father's lawyer friend told my mother when I was a baby what a "beautiful little girl" I was.
My Dad dressed but I never knew that when I started puting on what ever I could find to dress up in.And my Mother alway baby me.:hugs:
Angie
Yes, my father dressed as well. I'm not 100% sure but I think that had something to do with my parents divorce. My mother has hinted to such but never come out and said it. I've always thought that I 'secretly' knew about my fathers' needs but repressed them until I was a teenager. Then I started acting out towards my mother by dressing. But of course, this is all conjecture at this point.Quote:
Originally Posted by Angie G
Originally curiosity, later I just felt so much more comfortable in girl stuff.
(I've never really felt "privileged" in any way based on my assigned physical gender, in fact it's lately been more of a handicap/annoyance than anything... :| )
Being the youngest of three boys, I guess my mom wanted a girl, so she would dress me until I was four. Then when I turned 7, I started dressing on my own and when I was at my next door neighbors, we would play dress up and I would dress as a girl. During my teen years when I would house sit, I would wear the owners clothes. I have been out a few times, but then I was younger and no kids, now I have kids and have a hard time getting to dress. But I do LOVE IT!!!
I haven't cut my hair since my mom passed away three years ago (I was 18), and my CDing has steadily increased in the mean time. I've thought often that there's probably a correlation, though I'd hesitate to say causation. It's interesting food for thought, though.
This one is easy for me. Mom . She wore pantyhose 24/7 and always dressed pretty. She was a single mom and I was an only child. I remember giving her foot rubs and liked how her pantyhose felt so I tried them on and I was hooked. Growing up in the 60's and 70s, pantyhose and short skirts were the thing. All of moms girl friends wore pantyhose and I loved the look of legs in them. I started wanting to dress like them. Mom taught modeling at a college so I was always surrounded by pretty girls.
I wasn't wired to dress. It was something that I tried and enjoyed. :)
Interesting respones to this question. For me I did my first cross dressing while I lived in Germany at the age of 27. It was due to the stocking heel lingerie fetish I have and so I figured heck let me try some of the stuff on and it was exciting. Years later it has evolved into full crossdressing and trying to be more and more feminine each time I do it.
I remember playing with my toy cars on the floor when i was 7 or 8. i saw a pair of mums nylons on the floor and a pair of her shoes. Dont know what possessed me to do it but it put them on. I took them off real quick. The next episode came when I was about 13. I was in bed reading a car magazine and saw an add for motor oil with this gorgeous blonde model in white overalls. She took my breathe away and I got the notion to dress up as a girl the next day using my sisters clothes and cosmetics. I was on school holidays so was on my own during the days. Next morning got up as soon as the house was empty and dressed in girl clothes and makeup. I cant recall if there was any sexual excitement just sat in the living room. after awhile I took everything off and showered as I felt "dirty". Never had any more desires until about mid 30's. All my life though I cannot say the word 'stockings' in conversation though I love wearing them and the way they feel. I must have suppressed the desire to dress as I couldn't even touch my wife's under garments.
Then in 2012 I was home alone, working outside, when I got a sudden urge to go inside and check out my wife's wardrobe. She was away for the weekend and so I spent the rest of the day and evening dressing up in her clothes. That was it there was no going back. Over the past 2 years I have amassed my own collection of dresses, skirts, lingerie and makeup (all without her knowledge). We now live apart, due to work reasons and so I now fully dress every Friday and Saturday night. I get a great sense of pleasure from it but am fearful of where this is going. I would like to come out to my wife but she would not take it well. I also fear losing respect of my sons and work mates. I don't want to become a woman full time, I am happy with my male life, but this crossdressing thing gives me a hell of a rush.
All the best with your individual journeys
Amanda
When I was younger I became obsessed with shiny clothes. As I grew these clothes were mainly seen worn by girls and they look good plus it was more acceptable as I see them in person and on TV. So I began wearing whatever shiny clothes such as leather and faux leather that my parents sold in the fashion store. When I became a young adult and learnt to drive. I drove to thrift stores and discount stores to buy lingerie and used leather clothes. Then I started to complete the look with wig and makeup and now my closet has a variety of sexy clothes to which I can make into different outfits.
Genes. Possibly growing up without a male figure in my life, Dad was an a_hole and we clashed any time we where together
A great thread. You set yourself up a bit by asking "become" a crossdresser.
This part of the query resonated with me. "Society tells us that males are privileged with unearned social, economic, and political advantages which are granted to them solely on the basis of their gender."
I "became" a crossdresser because I hated myself as a male. I learned by my then drug induced mind that I could feel whichever gender I wished to be. I wanted to feel entirely what it was like to become a girl. I picked "Robbin" because it was close to my male name but now it would be something more feminine, like Stephanie.
I like not being in control. Being with the wind. Being unconventional, wearing what I want in a hot climate, not what what men are supposed to wear. This site helped me along quite a bit. Had I gone straight to the porn sites or, I'm convinced, any other site, it wouldn't be the same.
But now porn and feeling like a woman has made me more accepting of the hard private parts that I have...and other boys have. When i dress up these days, it is for the feel. I don't worry as much because it is usually a kilt, woman's silky top and ballet slippers. I don't go out, like my first episode in downtown Chicago 18 months ago.
I am easily bi now. Both work for me. Still, if I'm ever allowed out alone again, I will have time to be very dressed, would love to have it happen in a place that is accepting of people like me and try to link up with whoever will accept me. I'm comfortable with anyone in the world, as long as he/she is not mean.
That's my story. xxrobbin, wishing I could be Stephanie, or Celeste, or Ambrosia...or, or, or. xx:hugs:
It is pads... Thery are so comfortable under the hips... And pad leads to all of the other stuff. I made a quite decent expanation in my intro.
Here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...onymous-newbie
No one event ever caused me to start crossdressing, but there were a few things that nudged me into that direction. I was always attracted to girl clothes, even as a child. As I grew up, I was very skinny and about the size of a girl, so was always curious about wearing their clothes (I guess I had pink fog back then!). I started trying on stuff belonging to my mom and sister and I liked it, so I just kept doing it
In my youth, influenced by my older brothers and their Playboy magazines, I became enamoured and obsessed with females. Especially their breasts. the bigger, the better. Along with showing a particular curiosity with my mother's bra drawer, I just decided it was easier to become my own dream girl. Fifty yeaars later, that just still holds true. The best relationship I have ever had with the opposite sex, has been with myself.
I've been attracted to cross-dressing since childhood, have no idea why. For a while I thought it might be due to early issues with dating...but that can't totally true. I think it may be genetic on some level. Part nature, part nurture.
Like many have replied, it's hard to say. There were many things that happened to me when I was young but can't point to anything specific as the definitive reason. I guess it's inherent in all of us but needs to be cultivated. The cultivation an take many forms.
Is this your first time on Earth, Confucius? :heehee:Quote:
Originally Posted by Confucius
Sorry – a girl in art school used to ask everyone that pointed (and profound) question… :o
There was no standout moment or particular event that caused this. I just one day happened into my sister's closet, saw her panties and dresses, started feeling knots in my stomach, put on her clothes and ... the rest is history.
I was raised in a family of women, with two older sisters, a mother, and a rather absentee father. In particular, my eldest sister by eight years became my role model from early on. She was and is drop dead gorgeous, and I was always enthralled watching her get all dolled up, how she was able to transform herself into such a glamorous woman. From as early as I can remember, I wanted to be just like her. Who wouldn't????
Hi everyone, I'm a MTF CD, happily married and have been dressing for many years now while exploring and developing my female side. Like many of you, my dressing started when I was 11 yro when I found my mom's L'eggs Sheer Energy pantyhose hanging in the laundry room. Growing up, mom would dress in front of me and wore them everyday, so it wasn't really a big deal until puberty hit, and I slipped them on and they became a part of my life. Growing up in a great family in the 70's and 80's, I was around classy, well dressed women. From my mom to my teachers, I was influenced and infatuated with the way they dressed and carried themselves as a lady should.
After that fateful day when I first slipped the pantyhose over my body, it became a daily thing. In school, I would sit on the front row to get a good view of the teacher's legs and a bonus upskirt shot every now and then. I was obsessed, in a good way though. One day after school, I went to mom's drawer to put some pantyhose on and decided to try a slip. OMG it felt incredible! Mom was smaller than I was so none of her dresses fit, but she had a leotard that felt so good hugging my body. I'd stand in front of the mirror in awe at the shine on my legs. All of the girls I ever dated wore them too and I was very open about my affection for them- that taught me the power of compliments. Women work a lot harder at looking good than we do, so they always appreciated it.
It wasn't until I was in college when I asked my girlfriend if I could wear them during sex too. She said yes, and it was phenomenal! Overcoming that hurdle was huge for me. Years later when I married, I started putting on my wife's lingerie and dresses with my pantyhose when she was gone. It felt so good but I was very insecure about it. Our sex life accelerated and one night I asked her if I could wear lingerie too, she said yes and WOW! She tolerated it but never seemed to appreciate it like I did. We eventually grew apart, split up, and when I met my current wife I made myself the promise that I would confess my CDing early on and see what happens. I had a lot to lose if she ratted me out, but fortunately she embraced it instead. We were on our second date out with some friends, had lots to drink. Needless to say, we were sexually charged and I brought it up. I emphasized that how much it was a part of me and that I wanted her to help me on my journey, because at that time it was still just pantyhose, lingerie, and dresses only. She sat back for a minute and said, "Well, first, I love pantyhose too and wear them everyday. Second, if CDing is a part of you then I'll have to learn to love that side too, but first we'll have to shave your legs." Shocked and relieved at the same time to find a woman who adores pantyhose in the early 2000's as much as I do was like finding a diamond in the rough. I knew right then and there that she was going to be my wife.
The past 10 years have just been incredible. She, along with our daughters, have taught me how to do my make up properly, hair, nails, and how to be truly feminine. They love and support me whether I am in boy or girl mode. I love spending time front of the mirror putting on make up and trying new looks. I absolutely love the transformation process. Being feminine is easy for me because I have always thought like a female is trapped inside of my male body. She has said over and over that knowing about my CDing up front and that I didn't change as a person when I dressed was easier to adapt. She helped me shop for clothes, wig, and my first pair of high heels. The heels and wig were shipped together and when I put them both on for the first time, I was in love with what I saw and so was she. My ultimate goal was to be passable and together, over time, it finally happened. We have been out twice. First in San Francisco and then in a town close to where we live on Halloween. Both times I was hit on and complimented numerous times, which really boosted Niki's confidence. It was exhilarating and scary all at the same time, but twice was enough for me. Since I work from home, I just dress here now and am perfectly happy.
We have two adopted daughters, now in their early 20's and when they were 16 I showed them and my wife and I told them at the same time. Fortunately they were pleasantly surprised and embraced it as well. They both said, that everything made sense now and you make a beautiful lady. They love doing my make up and buying me things. Life is truly wonderful and as I sit here in a dress, full make up (that my youngest daughter did for me today), bra, breast forms, pantyhose, and heels, I'm thankful and blessed to have made it this far and to have wonderful accepting people around me. Niki went through the ****ty, selfish stage and is now all grown up into a beautiful, mature lady who has made me a complete person. Who knew that an article of clothing like pantyhose would unlock a whole new world that was waiting inside me? Thank you pantyhose! I am who I am, a straight male who has natural fem tendencies and a family of females who love me regardless what I want to wear :)
Dunno
I could blame it on the fact that I have never had a dad. I guess i have always just though women were better than men...
I can totally relate Ellen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EllenJo
It must have been in my girl jeans, Oops, I mean genes.
Lacelover
I guess for me it was high heels. I vaguely remember my Grand-Mother and Mother looking into tap-shoes for (cannot recall my age at the time). For some reason they had a pair of girl's tap-shoes too. I do not remember if I tried them on or they just used them to find me a size or something. But that is the earliest I remember of that.
The knots in the stomach, as I have read in at least one of the posts here; I recall those very much.
DNA? :confused:
I started the awareness of how pretty females were and the clothes they wore at around 3 years of age. I found my grandmothers' long dresses so colorful and fun to wear. I would then put flowers in hair and I felt so pretty. Then there was my mother she was such a beautiful woman who would tease me as she dressed. She would put lipstick on my lips. She then dressed me as a little girl when she made dresses for my cousins, my first and only modeling job to date! She painted my nails, made up my face, put perfume and even clip earrings. So with that as I got older I would try on my mother's clothes, shoes, jewelry and makeup. I remember an episode of Gilligan's Island where Gilligan was dressed as a convincing girl I loved it. I also remember the episodes of General Hospital that had a crossdresser as an everyday character. i then had a series of girlfriends who convinced me to dress, yeah I tried to resist. But starting in the 90's things became different and dressing wasn't so out of place and my urges got stronger which takes me to today!
I don't know if there is a single event moment, I have always have jobs that seemed to be labelled 'female' careers (like nursing), not that I ever saw them that way. I always found shopping to be more fun in the female section - new styles for each season and so on, unlike the men's section of no change clothes.
Unless it was the decades I grew up in 70's/80's, but in honesty nothing has made me crossdress I just enjoy it.
I believe it was the curiosity over the long blue silk nightgown that I found sitting in the laundry basket when I was home alone. It belonged to my Aunt. Once I had tried it on I was hooked. I loved the feel against my skin. After that experience I began to dress in women's lingerie every chance I found.
My mother never missed an opportunity to let us know she wanted girls. :devil:
In my case, there was no defining moment. No outside influence. No weak father. No dominating mother. My Mother didn't want me to be a girl. No older sister or neighborhood girls who forced me to dress up. Etc. From my earliest age, I was interested in feminine things. In the words of Lady Gaga. "I was born this way." I never have looked for a reason to justify my crossdressing. It is just me.
i cant explaine. it just happend and feels good. Mabye it is our dna
I can't really pinpoint one single moment. The thoughts that do come to my head.. I don't know if they actually swayed me, might be just memories and braintricks.
1. When I was young, I remember seeing my Mom's Victoria Secret's catalog.. this was right before puberty.. and maybe the first time I got to really see "underneath the clothes" clothes for women. Bras, panties, nighties.. they were so different from what I wore. They were also expensive as hell. My wifebeater shirts and undies came in packs of 3-6 for a fraction.. this stuff must be gold! When you are little and have no income (or any sense of money in general), you put certain things on pedestals without realizing it.
2. From puberty I went through the "usual" male phase, trying to get ahold of any porn I could. Acquiring porn throughout high school was very exciting compared to now.. I guess it's because it's like alcohol and cigarettes.. getting away with it is more exciting and thrilling when it's not legal for you.
I remember finding a nearby corner store that had a rack of mags and VHS tapes.. I would go in and be scared out of my life to look at what they had. Picking up something and waiting to pay for it at the counter seemed to take FOREVER. Right now when I'm buying heels and makeup.. I get a very similar rush as somewhere in my brain I'm thinking "this isn't for your personal use"---someone's going to call me out on it. But that store never care I wasn't 18 yet.. and what a rush when I came out with my purchase.
3. I've had several girlfriends in my youth.. but my first one in college really, really knew how to dress. She was Japanese (though born here), and really was into fashion---heels, makeup, matching bra/panties, brand name bags. Amidst all the sweatpants and hoodies, she really stood out and I appreciated her efforts when we went out. She was also the first girl that in our sex life, would keep some of her clothes on (eg heels on, jeans down to the ankles, bra still on). My previous 2 girlfriends would always strip all the way for the act, so this was new and I loved it.
Those are the 3 off the top of my head. I don't know. Maybe they have nothing to do with what I'm doing right now with my feminine dressing. Maybe they do. Maybe it's something that I can't even remember. If I had to put money on it though, probably something to do with the above.
God. And so glad he (or she) did!
I don't think I can put finger on one event or reason. But as baby, my grandmom used to dress me as girl .... never knew why and I never asked even when I grew up. I have high pitched voice and kids called me girly.
Even as kids, I loved older women and their clothes and when I was 11 or 12 I was pair of my moms old panties.
But it wasn't till I was 30 that I started dressing up.
I am not sure what reason, I have always felt like I was trapped inside man's body.
Ana
This is a fascinating thread. I don't actually see that many 'I was born this way' or 'it's genetic' answers, even if this is the accepted theory here. What I do see are men who felt curious about girl things and stepped over a boundary most other men don't. That's it. Nothing extraordinary or even that unusual. Your stars aligned on that day, for whatever reason, and the rest is history.
Yep, fascinating. :)
But WHY did we step over the line?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinkerbell-GG
Psst, its genetics ;-)
but sadly, science will never prove me right.
My sisters dressed me as their sister, would take me shopping with them among other things.
It's well established FACT that men are easily turned on by looking at FEmales or female body parts. Which in many cases leads to the promised land where all kinds of CHEMICALS are released by the brain. This is all completely autonomous. Men putting on/wearing SPECIFIC clothing items [that females usually wear to look their "best"] enable this.
It's simply E V O L U T I O N at work and endless obfuscation or denial is not gong to change it for 99% of the CDers on the planet.
And no one but the most most extremely UNsharp person would claim to know just how many men actually Crossdress.
Refusing to accept that any amount of CDing that our brains associate with Os will quickly become addictive is a sure fire recipe for never being able to shed the shame and guilt.
I don't know if there really is specific event that caused my desire to like to dress like a woman. I've always had good friends that were female. My guy friends were never the macho type because that's not really who I was and that tended annoy me. I always did things that were not typical little boy things with my mother (e.g. needle point, english horseback riding, collecting my little ponies, etc.) but I don't know if it was a product of my own interests or my environment. Tough to say for sure.
You have all probably heard the phrase "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"? To me, this is it. I admire and respect women and while I do not wish to be one I do like to dress like them. Heels, I love heels, oh and fluffy dresses....
JS
"God put us here to learn how to love one another"
I really don't know why I started crossdressing. I know that I was drawn to the pretty clothes and how they felt against my skin. I specifically remember a couple situations where I initially dabbled in dressing. One time I saw my mother's bra laying on the ground and looked around to make sure no one was looking before I held it up to my chest. Another major moment for me was when my mother had bought my sister a pink one piece swimming suit. I saw it hanging in the bathroom one day and had to try it on. I have been dressing off and on ever since.
To be honest, unlike my partner, I never had any inclinations to cross-dress earlier in my life at all.. I think the first time I sort of did and felt rather comfy when I threw on the top of my friends nurse costume over my shirt as a joke. I strangely liked wearing it. That was I think when I was 16. When I started college in my early twenties, having watched my friend cross-dress for a sociology project, he asked me how I'd feel about doing what he did. It never phased me that I couldn't do it, or wouldn't do it. I suppose me being a pretty boy with a taste for some fashion and not really caring if I was hyper masculine or not factored into it now that I think about it.
When I accepted my bisexuality a number of a years ago, it really opened up a lot of doors to me and in a way gave me license to do things I never would have fathomed being a straight dude. I now had experiences and relationships they wouldn't have had at all. Then two months back that sort of comfy feeling of wearing that nurse costume sort of came back looking at my partner's clothes. So then I did an "earth princess" sort of "drag" outfit for a party. It was way too much fun sashaying and feeling hot. My partner notices that more feminine leanings come out of me that don't normally show, and it's rather automatic and unconscious to me.
So in looking at things, there maybe some sort of genetic disposition, but it was really my cultural experiences and new sexual identity that lead me to fully come into being as a cross dresser. There's also a somewhat good chunk of it that's political to me, which is kind of way I don't really care if I happen to pass or not. Guess you could say that's why I chose a rather androgynous avatar. I actually feel more validation when a guy checks me out and then realizes I'm not a girl and sort of looks surprised. Every time that happens I think in my head:
"Hope you enjoyed my cute little butt!"
I think for me it was just something innate. I was influenced by people like Brian Molko and Davey Havok in my teens and got into makeup... slowly got to the point where I am now, it's just kind of built and built and I don't know if it will stop. by this point I'm not even very comfortable being referred to as a man even though technically people are right to do so.
Exactly. I believe several replying to the post were thinking back to the first time they acted on their desire to dress feminine , not actually stating why they felt the need to dress in the first place. Many break the question down to "Nature" vs "Nurture". In other words did mother nature make you that way, or did something in your nurturing cause you do become a crossdresser. For the record, I was born this way with no influence whatsoever that would cause me to be a crossdresser. I was raised in an very conservative christian home where I would have every reason to not want to be a crossdresser. No one in the family would accept it, our religion forbid it, and if I were to have outed myself as a child for being a CD, it would have been shunned by my family, probably beat daily at school, and been driven to suicide in a short time. I was not dressed by anyone or in any way encouraged to be feminine. Many will quote the first time they remember either dressing, putting on makeup, etc. but the truth is, if any of these events happened to a person who was not born a CD, they would have reacted completely different and not have become a CD in the future. Kind of like a diabetic having too much sugar the fist time and saying that amount of sugar caused their diabetes. It may have caused that particular person to become diabetic, but only because of a predisposition to be effected by it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
I was born with feminine traits, and that is all there is to it. I did learn at an early age that as I sometimes would reveal a bit of feminine traits I was quickly ridiculed and I quickly learned that although this was my true inner person, I would have to hide it or face negative retribution by all I knew.
Summary: Genetics, born this way, hopefully science will verify this and be able to identify TG genes in the future so the TG person can best deal with it knowing who they are. It would also force the larger population of people who either don't understand it, or have some other religious or moral reason to ridicule and hate a person for simply being born with traits they have no control over.
What feminine traits did you feel? I know you had to hide them, so they weren't physical traits. Was it that you cried easily as a boy and you had to learn to toughen up? My younger brother was that way. Or were they desires, like wanting to play with girl toys, wanting to wear what girls wore, in short wanting to be a girl?Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenny Gurl