Your picture on this site

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Originally Posted by Smile

Ive often wondered this.
I dont accept friend requests from cartoons and stock photo users. Some may say this is unfair, but let me explain.
Ive taken time and patience to get my game up to a level as such that Im confident enough to share an image of myself including my face. If you havent done this, then in my head, were clearly not on the same page.
It's not to say I have to support for these individuals, but I feel theres a lack of honesty that comes through when posters dont include an image of themselves.
Ive also noticed that a lot of these particulare users are the ones who start threads of wild, unbelievable adventures and have dozens of you commending them on their efforts...
This annoys me, not to see people doing well, but theres ZERO photographic evidence to prove they actually did what they claimed.
This is the internet, this is a forum and to quote my forum fore-fathers/mothers...
http://straightrazorplace.com/attach...-images-1-.jpg

Im not calling everyone a liar, but did you know Im actually a billionaire?
Ive got a Veyron too.

If you havent got pictures, in my opinion, youre not even trying.

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I couldn't agree more with what you've said. It's so true, i spend alot of time and effort not to mention money trying to make myself look feminine and i am always keen to show any pictures i've taken of myself.
I understand some peoples fears if being recognised, but how likely is that? I look quite different as a woman. And if by any chance i was recognised, why was that person looking for crossdressers on the internet?
Although not many people know i dress, and i don't go out as much as i'd like to i'm proud of who i am and i'm not afraid to show photos of myself.
Katie

It's because from the neck up I haven't taken a shot that I'm happy with yet. And I always feel like I still need to do a little more work and get one of those lucky angles.

I think I probably will post one soon enough... but it just hasn't happened yet.

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Originally Posted by Katie83

I couldn't agree more with what you've said. It's so true, i spend alot of time and effort not to mention money trying to make myself look feminine and i am always keen to show any pictures i've taken of myself.
I understand some peoples fears if being recognised, but how likely is that? I look quite different as a woman. And if by any chance i was recognised, why was that person looking for crossdressers on the internet?
Although not many people know i dress, and i don't go out as much as i'd like to i'm proud of who i am and i'm not afraid to show photos of myself.
Katie

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Hello, Katie! You look great in your avatar, and I can certainly understand why you're proud of who you are. But I think a lot of girls on this thread have given very valid reasons as to why they don't post pictures of themselves. I really don't think you should judge other people's circumstances by your own. Perhaps we should let each judge what is best for herself, and where there are good reasons not to post pictures, perhaps everyone else should try to understand that.

Best wishes, Annabelle

Knee jerk response to a particular item.

I guess if some don't want to friend up with people who post stock, cartoon, or no images that is up to you. It just seems a bit discriminative, sort of like judging the book by its cover. There are lots of long time posters in here who are nothing but genuine, supportive, and caring to members who do not have pictures of themselves on the cover. I feel lucky to have some of them as friends. I personally think the content of a persons posts are more important than a photo (which could be easily faked).

As Forrest Gump would say:

"Thats all I have to say about that"

Suzy

Hi Jess, My avatar along with my signature is kind of a statement... Although no one has ever commented +/- I have never been able to bring myself to change it. I do have a head shoot in my profile. Be interesting to see how other respond here... Most seem to like the real photo avatar and have to admit that it is more friendly and helps connect with the girl posting. Always enjoy the Huttonmeister's avatar offerings as they seem to capture her personality very well. It's a talent. Alisa.

As I am very new to the site still, I havn't been able to figure out what kind of avatar I want to go with... chances are I'll use a picture that I've taken somewhere, (photography is a hobby).

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Originally Posted by JessHaust

But there are still lots with a cartoon avatar, graphics symbol, or a stock photo of some beautiful girl. The question is for those without a real picture of yourselves, why?

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There is still a huge percentage of the population that has quite a low opinion of crossdressers. Whether you experience it or not, lots of people make life more difficult for us, behind the scenes where you may never see it. They make fun of us, see us as less important than 'normal' people, and in some cases, actively do mean things to us such as what you see in the news about physical attacks against people who dare to cross the gender line. So, I stay in the closet. And I overhear lots of negative remarks over the years about crossdressers. I saw two medical doctors note in their charting that the patients they were treating were sexual degenerates. That stays in your permanent record, by the way. You may never see it. But every person involved in your medical care, including everyone in the insurance companies that cover you, can read that about you. Who knows, it may affect your being hired, or even your credit rating in some way. Sure, it's technically illegal, but word of mouth can be the little thing you never hear about that is the final strike against you.
My ex wife blackmailed me during our divorce, getting everything she wanted, or she would have made my crossdressing public to everyone.
So, I never put up a picture anywhere of myself that can be connected to crossdressing in any way. I am very, very careful not to give even potential online dating partners a picture until I am absolutely certain they will not out me; there are online sites where women can put up a file about men who have 'done her wrong', along with a picture of him. So any woman who for any reason, could put up my pic should I even temporarily make her angry with me, and her review simply stating that girls should be aware that I'm a crossdresser before becoming romantically involved with me. Then BAM, I'm on the net openly as a crossdresser. So no thanks, I won't be putting up a picture of crossdressing Lexi any time soon.

Sometimes_miss,
Well it really sounds like you have had some real pain. I'm sorry you had to experience that.
But, Crossdressing is not a sexual degenerate and any doctor who labels anyone as one is wide open to lose everything in court. I doubt any respectable doctor would risk it.
I know that you have to be true to your own values, but if someone tried to blackmail me with exposure, I would just rip the rug out from under them and tell everyone myself.
It's your life, own it.

Well I agree.You only put a clearly identifiable picture on the net when you're ready to come out. I would also state that if you're intending to go stealth even this is too much. I know it's difficult, as a female, not to display, but if you're intending to get that special guy, then keep it special, just for him. Believe me, the guys appreciate it.

I was completely against the idea of posting a picture for the longest time. I'd say to myself "no way in hell would I ever", but my feelings have slowly changed. I find that as my wardrobe and makeup skills improve, I am more anxious to share. I get all done up to the nines but no one ever gets to see me. This is why I ultimately decided to post my avatar. I'm becoming more comfortable with the idea of posting pictures here and more will eventually come. I honestly doubt anyone would recognize me, anyway. I could probably e-mail my avatar pic to my mom and she'd have no idea that it was me. Hrmm.... I sense an experiment coming on.......:D

Some of us have legitimate reasons we need to stay in the closet. I suppose I could post a pic of myself dressed but with my face hidden, and I may do that some time, but somehow I don't think that will satisfy the spirit of this thread.

By the way, while facial recognition software is not currently good enough to do some of the things our governments want, it is good enough to pick my face off a web quality photo in spite of the best fem makeup and wig work I can do. If you have both drab and fem photos on the web be aware.

I'm a little late to this thread but like one or two others, I'll simply state that what you see is what you get. Those here who know me in person will attest to that.

Finally caught up with this thread again...

So... Those who aren't using real images of themselves are seen as ever so slightly lower than those who, according to a few posts on here, OR (don't be quick to judge), they are not seen (obviously, scroll down the page as fast as you can, see which posters you recognize as you hit the bottom at full speed)... One, that explains a lot of why I seem to be a ghost, and two... Those posters just answered their own questions/thoughts.

GBJoker, if it means anything, I don't have a hierarchy of who's more valid vs. not, based on their avatars. I know that some members are concerned with privacy. I also know that some members might not feel they look as feminine as they might like.

I tend to put much more stock in what they write. :)

Never liked my picture taken,very few pics of me from childhood to date,some for security reasons ,some for government,and I beleve one no two with a police department.If someone does not want to friend me because I don't post any pics then so be it if you don't believe my treads than no biggy.Quite frankly I do not come to this site to get approval from anyone.And there is the security thing cause once it is on the internet it's there for the ages.

Lisa.

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Originally Posted by Feminin Allisa

Never liked my picture taken,very few pics of me from childhood to date,some for security reasons ,some for government,and I beleve one no two with a police department.If someone does not want to friend me because I don't post any pics then so be it if you don't believe my treads than no biggy.Quite frankly I do not come to this site to get approval from anyone.And there is the security thing cause once it is on the internet it's there for the ages.

Lisa.

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I understand not wanting your picture taken, I have a daughter who absolutely hates having her picture taken. Irony here, she is about to graduate college with a photography major!
But I disagree that you dont come to this site for approval. We are all here to get some approval by our peers. It is the primary draw of this site, to be able to read about and ask questions to other CD/TG people, it helps us feel not alone.

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Originally Posted by RachelOKC

I'm a little late to this thread but like one or two others, I'll simply state that what you see is what you get. Those here who know me in person will attest to that.

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Um, I don't want to call you a liar, but I HAVE seen you in person and I will NOT attest to that. You happen to be prettier in person.

I'm sorry, but you know how I am about honesty.

My pic is of myself but I can't reveal my face. I'm way too paranoid that someone I know might spot me. I definitely prefer to keep this part of my life compartmentalized from my normal life.

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Originally Posted by JessHaust

Sometimes_miss,
Well it really sounds like you have had some real pain. I'm sorry you had to experience that.
But, Crossdressing is not a sexual degenerate and any doctor who labels anyone as one is wide open to lose everything in court. I doubt any respectable doctor would risk it.
I know that you have to be true to your own values, but if someone tried to blackmail me with exposure, I would just rip the rug out from under them and tell everyone myself.
It's your life, own it.

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NO thanks. I went through my childhood with a target painted on me (for another reason), I don't need to go through life being 'a boy named sue' and having to get into fights for the respect I deserve. I just want to be treated like everyone else. I hate to tell you, but despite the feel good attitude here, being a crossdresser isn't a highly respected behavior. I don't see anyone ever telling the world 'Hey, MY friend/father/brother is a Crossdresser!'. Don't see any women proudly proclaiming it about their mates, either. It'll get you about as much respect as coming in last in the special olympics if you're a normally abled person. So as much as I understand everyone here's desire to have self respect, I don't understand why anyone would like to do anything which could make their life more difficult; and like toothpaste, once it's out, there's no going back in. While technically you're now right, professional mental health workers don't consider crossdressing the disease state they used to, the average person on the street DOES consider us perverts.

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

NO the average person on the street DOES consider us perverts.

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Yes, but I could care less what the average person thinks. Either they accept me or they don't, it's no skin off my teeth.
I think that the entire underlying message on the forum is - Enjoy who you want to be, not what you think everyone else thinks you should be.

That said, I really do understand your reservations. I was terrified that anyone would find out for 50 years. But now that people do know, I realize that I was tormenting myself, nobody else really cares.

I have to disagree. The average person on the street does not consider us perverts. Based on my experience they may think we are different and maybe even weird, but not perverts. And as Jess says, I really do not care. It is their problem not mine, because I can and do exactly what I want when dressed out in the real world.

OBTW Lisa and Jess bring up a couple of points I neglected to make in my earlier post. Thanks, girls.

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Originally Posted by Feminin Allisa

Never liked my picture taken, very few pics of me from childhood to date.... And there is the security thing, cause once it is on the internet it's there for the ages. Lisa.

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Originally Posted by JessHaust

I understand not wanting your picture taken, I have a daughter who absolutely hates having her picture taken. Irony here, she is about to graduate college with a photography major! But I disagree that you dont come to this site for approval. We are all here to get some approval by our peers. It is the primary draw of this site, to be able to read about and ask questions to other CD/TG people, it helps us feel not alone.

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Can't stand my male pics at all; never have, never will. MOF I don't even like to look in the mirror for that very same reason :Angry3: - when I do, all I "ever see" is from the shoulders down, which I approve of very much BTW. Period. :daydreaming: Except,of course, Misti's pic. "Now that's a difference," as Mick would say? "Viva La Difference!," as they say in France. :devil:

Actually, I meant to post the second pic... sorry 'bout that! :D

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Originally Posted by AllieSF

The average person on the street does not consider us perverts. Based on my experience they may think we are different and maybe even weird, but not perverts.

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I agree with this. I seriously doubt the average person feels threatened in any way if and when they read my SO and I. Some don't care, some might be intrigued, some may be OK with it as long as they're just looking at a stranger and this isn't someone who will date their daughter. If they do judge, they will keep their opinions to themselves because they know they'll never see us again anyway! :)

It is the people who are closer to us who will have stronger opinions, the friends who may or may not invite us to their next party, the work colleagues who may feel uncomfortable, or the family members who stand to disapprove the most for a variety of reasons.

I use a real photo of myself. I'm also afraid of being recognised, so the picture is from some distance away.

One of the first posts showed a picture of her shadow. I thought this was fascinating and have done some shadow pictures of myself. I remember the first time I noticed my shadow and how feminine it looked, I was entranced and started taking pictures of my shadow.

Hannah

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Originally Posted by Suzy Satin

Knee jerk response to a particular item.

I guess if some don't want to friend up with people who post stock, cartoon, or no images that is up to you. It just seems a bit discriminative, sort of like judging the book by its cover. There are lots of long time posters in here who are nothing but genuine, supportive, and caring to members who do not have pictures of themselves on the cover. I feel lucky to have some of them as friends. I personally think the content of a persons posts are more important than a photo (which could be easily faked).

As Forrest Gump would say:

"Thats all I have to say about that"

Suzy

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Well I guess that is not all I have to say, I need to add to my other post.

AS for the Original post, I do not post a real image for many of the reasons already stated so I won't belabor those. I do not pretend the one I do post is me and I have had a disclaimer above my avater since i've had it.

Something else has got my Ire up and i'm not even Irish. It was mentioned in a post (and who posted that is not the issue) that by not posting a real image that there was a lack of honesty. BULL. Let me repeat that, BULL. Sure there are those who hide behind their anonyminity and pretend to be something they are not that do not have a real photo but I guarantee you there are also people posing behind photos that are not them. To make a judgement based only on a photo is a choice I guess people can make but by calling people that don't post a real photo less honest is a slap in the face in my book.

When I first started on this site I tried to make as many friends as I could, I thought I needed to do that for some reason. One of those who did accept me as a friend took me aside and gave me some good advice that I took to heart. It was something like "This site is not a about a popularity contest, it's about connecting with others and building friendships with others in our community". I purged and basically started over.

I make my decisions for friending based more on the content of their posts versus a photo. I find that the book is way more interesting than the cover.

I think another good point would be also that this site is not a beauty contest either. I come here for the conversations and discussions but mostly to have fun. Threads that seem to just put labels on people or cause hate and discontent I usually steer clear of.


Sorry for venting but once my Ire is up I either vent or explode.

OK, this has been way to serious, I think I will take a trip down to the trivia section and unwind a little.


Take Care Everyone.............


Suzy