Are there those here that are know inside they are really TS?

I have found some of the perspectives presented here to be interesting.

I do not push or reject peoples ideas on transition, but do make them think of all the possible negatives.

As someone who transitioned somewhat early in life in my 20s, and fairly early in the whole timescale of what I call the dark ages. After transition and SRS at 26. My partner and I moved to suburbs and grew to be two older women. I never really thought of being Trans for 30 years. Now that I am back out to others, still don't feel Trans but do feel more empathetic to others. As an older woman I now have to decide how to tell doctors my background, in case it makes any difference to a diagnosis.

Did try the dating game early on. They never progressed very far as to telling my full background. As for having a vagina, it does come in handy for either male or female partners.

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Originally Posted by Secret Drawer

One thing that cis-gendered GG's and GM's must consider is that even if some of us are TS we cannot "know" we are the opposite gender. I ask all cis-gendered this:

What does it feel like to be a man? A woman?

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It means feeling comfortable in my body and everything that comes with it, everything that it can do (in a woman's case - menstrual cycles, birthing and lactation) and not do, for example I accept my upper body strength limitation compared to men. If I want to be stronger or have more endurance, I can always work out (even though I could never beat a man at arm-wrestling who also works out). If I were a guy, it would mean feeling comfortable with my strength and with society's lack of stringent demands on how I should look, which might enable me to get out the door with a minimum of effort should I so choose. lol.

It means feeling comfortable with my sexuality; by this I don't mean my sexual preference ... obviously we can be either opposite-sex or same-sex attracted. But I am comfortable with the way that I experience sexual pleasure. This goes for both men and women.

It means feeling comfortable with the gender that I am perceived as, by everyone even by the people I work with.

This is what it is not:

Things like gender roles no longer come into play because they are interchangeable now. Women and men can have the same jobs, be single parents, cook, do laundry, maintain the car, enjoy the same pastimes, even get through the Army Ranger course.

Personality traits don't come into play either. Nowadays we have non-aggressive, nurturing men and competitive, aggressive women, with everything in between.

Last, it has nothing to do with the styles I might prefer adopting, whether they are non girly-girl or super girly-girl.

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Originally Posted by Secret Drawer

One thing that cis-gendered GG's and GM's must consider is that even if some of us are TS we cannot "know" we are the opposite gender.

...snip...

What does it feel like to be a man? A woman? Where are your reference points? We are born "into" a person, we cannot swap bodies or even minds to "know" how it feels to be something or someone else, or a different gender. Why is this "I feel like a man trapped in a womans body, or the converse;" even a thing? How is this possible?
Only a post op TS has that privilage! The thing Megan G said about feeling normal! Hello, thats the point! Some of us have been so not feeling normal for so long that it "feels normal" to be anxious and screwed up. It is a tough way to live and it is virtually impossible for a cis-gendered person to understand. Knowledge yes... Understanding, no.

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I'm not so sure I agree with some of this.

Having bottom surgery is, honestly, near the bottom of my priority list right now. Despite not having had "the surgery", my body is radically different from how it used to be. My equipment may be a little unconventional for a woman, but I can tell you that it sure as hell doesn't work like a man's at this point. I also feel far more normal now than I ever did before.

I actually think that cis people understand how post-transition trans folks feel fairly well, even if they don't realize it. For them, their identity more or less just makes sense to them. For me, it didn't. Now, it does. Most of the women in my life find that I make more sense to them now. Many old friends have, since coming out, told me I was "confusing" before, usually in mostly inarticulable ways.

So, no - cis people can't necessarily understand what it's like to be on the trans spectrum, but we share a lot of understanding beyond that. I know I'm a woman the same way they do - I just know, despite a rather significant birth defect. Jenny Boylan recently said, “My identity as a woman is much more important to me than my identity as a trans woman.” For me, that is 110% true. Transgender is one of many adjectives that could be applied to me - trans, overweight, cute, smart, annoying, funny, technical, obnoxious, etc. - but they're all just modifiers on woman.

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Originally Posted by Zooey

I actually think that cis people understand how post-transition trans folks feel fairly well, even if they don't realize it. For them, their identity more or less just makes sense to them. For me, it didn't. Now, it does.

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I agree, this is what cis people and post-transitioners have in common: we all feel comfortable in our skins.

Good to hear you have a supportive spouse that is wonderful. I’ve read about and seen documentaries where the spouse is accepted at first but things change as time passes. Also, congratulations on your upcoming surgeries. It will be nice to hear how you feel afterwards e.g. for me it was a relief days leading up to surgery but once being rolled into the OR I was calm, not excited. Jubilation kicked in weeks after surgery. My therapist indicated I would most likely be this way while others are ecstatic going in and afterwards calm followed by being overjoyed.

I always knew even before the term cross-dresser was learned that I was in the wrong body. Societal constraints and pressures that come with them held the true person inside until it was unbearable which lead to 14 months give or take a month to fully transitioning. I never doubted my true identity.

Validation came to me throughout the years but as mentioned societal constraints held me back. One week after surgery I had a visit from an owner of another cross-dresser/trans site for dinner. She told me her story and it was very similar to mine which gave me even more assurance of being on the right path.

For me having acquired an experienced therapist/PhD who has years of practice with both ends of the spectrum was yet another validation as she would tell me about clients who believed say they were cross dressers but really were trans at various levels and the opposite that they believed they needed to transition but were not candidates for surgeries or hormones.

I think the feeling comfortable with the various physical and social aspects of male/ femaleness is sensible, but as PaulaQ said, it is not helpful to a transgendered person, it is not even indicative of how the opposite gender feels. In other words, as a male I happen to have "upper body strength" that is actually pretty useful at times, but I don't know what it is like to have less. I do not know what it is like to be in a female body, thus my comment of "What are your reference points?" This is key.
When a person is confused as to their gender, there are no direct reference points to say "Oh, you are an X trapped in a Y body." It is not as simple as that. PaulaQ asks many questions that are more to the heart of the matter, and sites like this, as opposed to offering "Dutch courage" and confusing someone into a pink fog frenzy into transitioning, are a way to better understand the true nature that comes from within.
The lack of information over the years has caused more pain and suffering then an overload of information has caused false beliefs to cause pain and suffering.

For the longest time I had myself convinced I was "Just a crossdresser". But now I am 90% woman. I have no intention of surgeries until 2028.

This is something I have been mulling over myself for a while. While I have some desire to be a woman and have considered beginning transitioning, it's not strong enough for me to be adversely affected by it mentally or to start the process of changing. I am relatively comfortable as a man and have what I consider to be enough male traits, mentally and emotionally, to be by and large content as I am. For the moment, I am happy to consider myself as having a little gender fluidity and to be a man with both masculine and feminine aspects and have begun to have less inhibitions with regards to expressing the latter.