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Paula,
What a tremendous relief this must be for you! As the others have already said, be careful not to get "caught up" in the excitement and over do. And by all means, abide by any ground rules that the two of you mutually agree to. But mostly, enjoy your new freedom and contimue to expore and nuture Paula. (By the way, a nice little, "I Love You" gift to your wife would be VERY appropriate right now).
Wow that is great news Paula, I'm really reallllllllllly pleased for you :hugs: So... these rules.... want to shed some light on those, or not :D
Wow... I have just spent the last hour or so reading this entire thread. My head is still spinning a bit as I continue to digest all of the information.
Paula, I am so happy to read that your wife has accepted your crossdressing. I would also like to express my sincere thanks to all who have contributed to this thread, especially the SOs who were kind enough to make their viewpoints known. All of our stories are meshed together with similarities, but each presents its own set of issues and challenges.
I hope you all don’t mind if I share a little about my situation.
My wife and I have been married for 11 years and we have two wonderful children. By all accounts, we have a wonderful life. Like many, I was too afraid and immature to consider sharing my secret with my wife before we were married. Also, I had no idea where Cd'ing fit into my life at that time. It was still this nagging thing that just wouldn't go away. So, I just pushed the thoughts away, in hopes that they would go away now that I was going to be married and moving away from home.
My wife has always been a very loving and understanding person, yet I still carried on with the feelings guilt and fear of what could happen if I told her my secret. Finally, about 5 years into our marriage, I decided that I could no longer live with the fear and guilt. So one night I took a very uneducated leap and told her that I liked to wear some of her clothes. At the time, I only wore stockings or pantyhose and some of her negligees and teddies (left over wedding gifts). Much to my surprise, she did not appear hurt or upset. She seemed to be accepting and she told me that I should not feel guilty about wanting to wear these things. However, she made it very clear that she did not want to participate or be involved in any way.
Needless to say, I was very relieved. I felt like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. We didn't really talk about it anymore for the next several months. I realize now that this was a mistake. From time to time, she would make a comment or ask me if I had 'dressed up'. I still had some feelings of shame, so I would always answer 'No...'. I'm sure she wondered why I always said no, when she suspected otherwise. Gradually I felt the courage to explore a little more on my own. I was able to buy my first wig and a pair of shoes. I started really experimenting with her makeup and just having a great time with it. Then, a couple of months later, the subject somehow came up in conversation again. Since she knew about me wearing some of her things, I felt confident enough to share with her about the wig and makeup. For some reason, that just set her off. Her attitude completely changed. I am not sure if it changed at that point, or if she had just been thinking about all of it for a while and had gradually developed a different viewpoint. She said that she didn't realize I liked to dress up "all the way", and that she just could not deal with that. I didn't put up a fight or even attempt to defend myself. I was basically in shock.
I promised her that I would throw out the wig (and I did, along with everything else I had accumulated over the past several months). I made a promise to her and to myself that I would never dress again. I kept good on that promise for about 6 months. Due to my work schedule at the time, I was home alone several days a week. Before long, the desires to dress came back full force. This was in early 2002. Over the next couple of years, I continued to keep my dressing a secret, and I went through several cycles of dressing, purging, and denial. I began to notice that my stress level was increasing dramatically and I would get upset over the smallest things. I was having trouble sleeping and the guilt was basically eating me up inside. I tried to bury myself in work, in hopes that the thoughts of dressing would just go away. This just added to my stress level.
So I found myself at the end of 2004. Our life was still great (outwardly), but inwardly, I continued to deal with the same feelings of guilt and betrayal over keeping this big secret from my wife. I never had the urge to tell her about it or bring it up in conversation again after her reaction back in 2002. I was basically miserable inside.
I am not sure what triggered it, but earlier this year I just decided enough was enough. I did a lot self-analysis and soul searching, and I came to the conclusion that:
1) I am not a bad person because I crossdress
2) If anything, being in touch with my feminine side probably makes me a better husband and father
3) These unfounded feelings of guilt are tearing me apart inside, and I want no more of it...
So, this year has been a groundbreaking one as far as me coming to terms with myself and how Cd'ing fits into my personality and into my life as a whole. I have finally gathered the courage to participate in forums such as this one and I have found so many people in situations similar to my own.
Now, the biggest challenge is in front of me. How do I ever go about telling my wife that I have been dressing on and off this whole time and that I am now comfortable with it? As far as she knows, I have not dressed again since 2002. I do not think that she will threaten to leave me or anything like that. My greatest fear now that I have made peace within myself is that she will ask me to stop dressing altogether. How will I respond to that? I was dealt a horrible blow the first time she reacted in a negative way back in 2002. I'm not sure how I will be able to handle a reaction like that again. I feel like I am so prepared and ready to tell her, but I just cannot force myself to do it. There have been so many situations and conversations between us lately where it just seemed like the right time to tell, but I have yet to do so.
Again, thank you all for sharing your stories and advice on this thread - especially you, Paula for having the courage to share with the rest of us as you continue on this journey of acceptance with your wife. I will hopefully be able to put it all to good use at some point in the near future.
hi paula..i hope you and your wife can work this out good luck
Kath,
Oh, how I know what you may be feeling, thinking and going through. Over the past two months, there were a few times where it appeared to be an appropriate time to discuss my crossdressing with my wife, but for different reasons I didn't. In hindsight, because things have turned out for the good, I can't say whether it was for the better or not. Only you can decide.
Basically, that's what this all boils down to be...a decision between you and your wife. You both need to find that comfort zone/level at which both of you can accept one another's position, views, and behaviours. AND, I can say this...it will require some change(s) for both you. AND, once you reach this agreement, just know that it isn't final and everlasting. In many ways, I also will be on the alert for a change of direction.
As for changes, for you, it may mean you have to cut back on how much, when, or what you do when you dress in order to give her more time to come to terms with your crossdressing. And be honest and truthful...don't respond to conditions you know you can't fulfill. If she asks if you're still crossdressing, respond that you're a crossdresser (or transvestite), have been one all of your life, and this condition/behaviour will never go away. As someone shared with me earlier...tell her..."you're not one IN A million but one OF millions of males who crossdress"...and make sure she understands the difference. So, you will need to own up to the fact that you were not truthful when she asked if you still crossdressed and that you're now asking for her forgiveness. Basically, you need to address all of the fears that she may have.
For her, she needs to understand and accept the fact that you're still the same person she married...with some enhancements. She also needs to clearly acknowledge that your crossdressing will never go away. From what you've written it appears that may have been an expectation on her part. Emphasize that you're the father of your two children and they need both parents throughout their lives. Work on as many positives for staying together and, as you stay together, you both will change and evolve.
Also, you can do things that will be to both your benefits...more so for you. Don't push your crossdressing on her...if she feels uncomfortable, then back off.
What happened between my wife and I recently has been good for both of us. It was painful...that's for sure but we are both making changes and not taking things for granted. Especially for me, I have always wondered why and for what reasons spouses accept and later reverse themselves. You're not the only one who has been thru this reversal. I'm sure many of those that have experienced it will share their experiences.
For me, I know I'm lucky at least for the time being. Right now, I'm dedicated to change and learn whatever it is about myself and my crossdressing, but most especially, I'm willing to make changes where it concerns with my wife. I want our marriage to last; I want to teach her more about my crossdressing but not force feed her.
I think the one great thing that transpired regarding my crossdressing is how we've been able to laugh about it. Once she mentioned that she didn't have a black full slip...so I went and bought her one. When I gave it to her, I commented..."that is one benefit of being married to a transvestite...we're not afraid of purchasing lingerie". A few weeks ago, she told me she had a new name (affectation) for me...goldie...as in goldilocks.
So, Kath, don't despair too much...focus on the positives, focus on your wife's needs, focus on where you want your marriage to go. For the time being, don't focus on what you want and your "rights" as a crossdresser. Become the loving husband your wife married 11 years ago.
Good luck!
Paula J.
Kath,
I was touched by your story as I was touched by Paula's story because I have similarities that you both express so beautifully in your writing. As I'm reading your threads I'm thinking to myself that since you both write and describe how you feel so descriptively and honestly that writing it all down is a good form of therapy.
Therfore Kath I would suggest you pour your heart out in a writing for your wife expressing everything you feel and don't hold back. This is the time you should be in touch with your emotions and express it freely.
I'm sure your wife will gain a better understanding of you as a person and since you love your wife and children so much I think she could be understanding. You might even consider some joint counseling where you can both discuss your feelings or have a real heart to heart talk with her. It certainly won't be easy but you must do it!
You have your wife and family at stake and I see how very important that is to you.
I wish you all the best and hope you are able to have a favorable outcome like Paula!
Good Luck!
Emmi
Paula J. and Emmi,
Thank you both so much for replying... I am definitely getting my gameplan together. I have been so close to just sitting her down and letting it all loose - even today.... I'm glad I didn't yet, because Emmi's idea about writing her a letter might actually work for us. I could let her read it, see how she reacts and just go from there. Otherwise, I am bound to miss some important points, or forget some thought that I really wanted to convey. Once she starts reacting, I may not be able to complete my train of thought. So thanks again Emmi, for that suggestion.
I will definitely be sure not to push it on her too fast and not try to exert my 'rights', etc.... I know how to talk to her and we have dealt with other serious issues pretty successfully throughout our marriage by just talking it through (as most of us have).
I don't know for sure when it will happen, but I will post an update if anything changes. Thank you all again for your kind support and suggestions.
Well, today, I went back through this thread and noted I've left a few gaps in the dialogue that I need to update all of you on.
Yes, I was able to find and purchase a copy of MY HUSBAND BETTY while on our out of town trip. For those of you who are looking for a copy, I was successful at Borders but not at Barnes and Nobles. Since I wasn't in our local area and the sales associate would likely not see me again, I just found it on the shelf and paid for it...in drabs. Because I wasn't too sure of the author...Helen Boyd, I had to ask...which was a bit uncomfortable. Moving on...I've been reading MHB and like all others who've read it...it is marvelous reading...and easy reading. Once I finish it, I plan to share it with my wife so she can increase her knowledge of crossdressing/transvestism and hopefully expand her acceptance. One commonality I've come to notice between spouses who accept and those who don't is their underlying fear associated with and due to NOT being educated and knowledgable of what crossdressing is about.
And that's where patience comes in. In my case, while I can't confirm this, I believe my wife did some research on her own. Being a smart woman, I believe she either went on line, to the library, or gained access to some other sources. I say this because she said a lot of the "right things" when she "gave me her approval" to continue crossdressing. She said "I know you can't help yourself and you need to do this; it's OK, and I accept it", "you're still a good man", "it must have been hard having to carry and hid this secret from everyone throughout your life", etc. I can't tell you how much relief I felt upon hearing those words from HER; it meant A LOT to me.
Once I heard those words, it is amazing how much more relaxed and less guarded I felt to discuss and disclose more about myself and my crossdressing. When she asked me..."where do you keep your things...I need to know so I can get them in the event something happens to you...I don't want the kids to find them", I simply answered "in the garage...hidden in some boxes." She followed up with, "does anyone in your family know", my response was very straightforward and honest "no..I don't think so".
We then moved on to her recollections of the day she came home and caught me dressed. She says all she recalls seeing is me in "shiny patent leather heels and in nylons"...I was wearing pantyhose and 4" black patent leather pumps. "Where did you get them?" she asked. My response was "at a shoes store". "Did you try them on in the store?" she followed. And I said "no...it took a few times...through trial and error. I'd figured out what size I wore and got them...do you know how hard it is to buy shoes without having to try them on first? And, I had to throw away the ones that didn't fit."
Next she asked me whether I was wearing a wig...which I wasn't. I don't own a wig. "Were you wearing a skirt...I seem to remember you with a skirt." I told her "no, I wasn't wearing a skirt...I had on a black lace teddy." Upon hearing that she chuckled a bit. I don't know what she found humorous but didn't ask. Maybe, she didn't think I could find or fit into that type of women's lingerie...I don't know.
Oh, I see that I've gone on for quite a while and I need to get to an appointment, so I end here. There are other pieces that I still want to share with all of you...stay tuned!
Hugs,
Paula J
Kathe, I think writing down your feelings is a good idea.
If, during the period where you couldn't dress, you acted different - exhibiting more stress, working longer hours, etc. Especially things your wife might not have liked, and now that you are dressing again, have overcome, you might want to include them in your writings.
Good luck.
Ok, an update for everyone....
I couldn't take it anymore, so I did it... last night.
I finally just mustered up the courage and laid it all out there for my wife. We talked for about 4 hours. I took it slow and just started from the beginning. I explained how I have come to accept this part of me and how I am still the same person that she married. I also told her that I have been secretly dressing for the past couple of years. She told me that she had suspected it, but had never wanted to bring it up. I was surprised at this, because I thought she was clueless about it. I also assured her that my need to dress would never come before the needs of our family and my responsibilities as a husband and father.
She asked me if I had ever considered changing my sex, to which I answered an honest 'no'. I tried to make it clear that even while dressed, I am still 'me'. My dressing is just an extension of my personality that must be expressed. I think that made her feel a little more comfortable about it. She still does not want to be involved with it in any way, other than being there if I need to talk. While I would love for her to see Katherine and be more involved, I can completely accept her position in this area. I am just so thankful that she accepts this part of me and has agreed to talk about it if I ever need or want to. We both made a commitment to not let the subject become a source of stress or resentment between us. I think the only way to make this happen is by keeping the communication lines open.
There are many levels of success in a situation like this, but I would consider our outcome very successful. It felt so great to finally get this out in the open. I think I did a much better job of getting my thoughts and ideas across this time around. Now that the can of worms is open so to speak, we still have to take it day by day. I'm sure that once it all sinks in, she will come up with more questions and concerns. I will be ready and willing to answer them honestly and openly.
I cannot express in words my appreciation to those of you who responded to my post a few days ago. Also, to those of you who have shared your stories in this forum - you may not realize how much support you lend just by being open and letting us all know that we are not alone.
Best of luck to all here,
Kath,
I bet you feel good about yourself and, overall, the future. Where only a few days ago there was sadness and despair, today after your discussion with your wife, there is much hope, comfort, and relief. That's exactly how I felt.
As good as it feels today, you still need to remain mindful and not become aloof regarding your wife's acceptance of your crossdressing. You just need to understand that there will be good and some not so good days/instances where your wife will express negativisms. Don't react...just listen, acknowledge, and comfort her. It is all part of the process of dealing with your new relationship.
Your wife's expression to not participate nor see you dressed enfemme is no different than my wife's stipulation that I limit my dressing to be a strictly private matter in our home. She also made it clear that she had no interest in attending conferences or participating in group gatherings. Additionally, as I had stated earlier, she acknowledged that I can and probably will continue to dress at home when alone but cautioned me to be extra careful to not get caught by our young adult children. I wholeheartedly accepted and agreed to these conditions.
As you and others can see, there are similarities and different twists to how our spouses deal with and accept us. I count my blessings everyday that I am so fortunate to be married to this woman.
Kath, just keep loving her...it is well worth everything you do.
Hugs,
PaulaJeanette
Congratulations Kath! :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
Paula,
I didn't tell my wife until we had been married for about two years. Even then I din't tell her everything. I told her that I really liked to wear nylon or satin panties. (I didn't know about the ecstacy of wearing silk panties than) She was shocked and acted much like your wife. I just kept telling her that I loved her and was not "Gay". I said I was turned on by the panties and that was to her benefit. She finally agreed that I could wear them at home only, and never around our child. I agreed, though with my fingers crossed. As far as she knew, I did only wear panties at home. I kept a lot of my femme clothes in the trunk of my car and always dressed when out of town on business. I usually went out to dinner wearing ladies slacks, a blouse, and of course a garter belt, panties, stockings,and a pair of ladies shoes. I don't try to pass, just wear feminine clothing. BTW, I have many compliments on my silk blouses that I usually wear.
My wife never said another word to me about the panties, except to tell me that I could keep my panties in her lingerie drawer. I did do that and had as many as a dozen pair in there. She did complain once that my panties were prettier than hers. I told her she could wear some of mine, since we wore the same size. she did, but than wanted some of her own like mine. So we went shopping and bought matching panties.
As I said at the beginning, we had been married two years when I first told her. That was 48 years ago, and we frequently wore matching panties up until she passed away on Feb, 20th of this year, just 5 months shy of our 50th anniversary. So keep your faith, things can work out. It is a shock to a lady to find out her macho husband likes feminine clothing, but once she sees that you mean no harm to her in any way she will most likely be more accepting. Just be sure to let her know that she is first and foremost in your thoughts at all times, no matter what you are wearing.
I wear panties almost all the time now, and other female clothing a good deal of the time. All my jeans are feminine and tailored to make me look even more feminine while wearing them. I can wear a lot of my wife's things and feel close to her when I do.
You will be in my prayers, Paula.
Silky Stephanie
I think many wives echo my wife's reaction ... there was period in which she "grieved" (her word) for the man she felt she had lost after 25 years of marriage. That's a valid sentiment, so I concentrated on showing her how much fun it could be to be married to this "new" person. It's almost like dating again. You have to give them space, go out of your way to do special things -- ESPECIALLY romantic things, like a weekend away together. Good sex also helps reassure both of you, and you may even be able to subtly spice it up with a pair of panties (but don't go whole-hog on the CD right away). In my case we re-bonded and are more solid than ever. But, again, LOTS OF GOOD SEX helped ... at least in my case. :love:
Stephanie,
First of all, let me say I am sorry to hear of the recent loss of your wife. 50 years of marriage is a milestone to be proud of…for sure. And, what makes that even more significant is the 48 years with her knowing, accepting, and sharing in your femme crossdressing. Oh, I bet there are so many happy memories that you can look back upon.
Thank you for you words of wisdom and for sharing your insights and experiences. It is always good to know that crossdressing CAN BE successfully integrated and accepted into a marriage. Your wife’s concern about not exposing the children to your crossdressing sounds very familiar. When my wife caught me dressed in my lingerie, pantyhose, and heels, one of her main concerns was what would have happened had it been one of the kids instead of her. She shared these thoughts with me later when we had a discussion about my crossdressing. During this discussion, she laid out conditions and limitations very similar to those you and your wife agreed upon.
While my wife has come to accept my crossdressing, I have chosen to take a slow and easy rather than take an in your face approach. Although I now wear panties more often under my male clothes, I only do this at home but still without her knowledge. I guess old habits are hard to break. Because we have a young adult daughter living with us, I keep a few of my panties hidden under my male briefs in my underwear drawer (I do this because our daughter does the laundry). Unlike me, my wife prefers to wear full (granny-type) panties, whereas, I prefer lacy, sexy hipsters. My wife once asked me why I like to wear panties (hers included) and I told her I liked the way they feel and fit on me plus wearing panties turned me on.
I know exactly what you mean about our wives having a difficult time dealing with the images of their macho husbands wearing women’s lingerie and other clothing. That is one of the main reasons I still have difficulty dressing for her. And fortunately, she has not asked me to do that yet…don’t know what I’d do if she would ask tho’. But, I guess I’d probably do it. We all need to take advantage of opportunities when they are presented..right? Basically, it is not her but more me who has to reconcile the macho image with the wearing of feminine, frilly lingerie. Although I yearn for the time to be more open with her, I still feel so embarrassed.
Stephanie, unlike you, I have yet to venture outside. However, like you, I do take a few items of lingerie, breast forms, and heels when I travel out of town. It is also when I do most of my shopping for new lingerie and other necessities.
Again, thank you for sharing and I hope you continue to enjoy good health and happiness in the years ahead.
Bless you,
PaulaJeanette
Hi EasyCD,
I agree with you wholeheartedly. Our wives do reflect on life in different ways and I understand the point about the process they go through in grieving the loss of the machoness of their husbands. Also, thank you for reminding me about the pointer to start dating again. I'll give it a try.
I think I mentioned it earlier but I did have an instance where I was able to exploit "the benefits of being married to a crossdresser" with my wife. She needed a black full-slip and asked me if I would mind getting one for her. I made it my day's mission to find one...went to several stores...and bought it along with a pair of very sexy lace panties. When she came home from work, I made it a point to say..."that's one of the main benefits of being married to a transvestite...we don't mind but rather enjoy shopping for women's lingerie!" Her response was "shut up"...more shock at my making the statement rather than in objection to my crossdressing. And this was before she came around to telling me that she accepted and would allow me to continue crossdressing.
Those of us who are fortunate to have supportive wives do indeed need to treasure and treat them well. I continue to show her that she is important in our marriage. On my last out of town trip, I did buy her 3 new pairs of mircro-fiber panties from Victoria Secrets. Although she likes fuller panties, she did say she likes them very much.
Paula J.
Right on Trinity24 You got it exactly right.
PaulaJeanette,
You have done nothing wrong and have nothing to be sorry for.
Lisa
Lisa,
Thank you for your comments. I know I have done nothing wrong but as I have mentioned...old habits are hard to break. I've been a crossdresser for most of my adult life and during that time have kept it hidden from my family and friends. Although I now have the opportunity to share my crossdressing with my wife, I still find it a bit difficult to do. I do want to make it part of our life together and believe it will enhance our bedroom intimacy. But I still am hesitant...I don't know why.
I'm open to suggestions and welcome advice and thoughts from any of you ladies who can help me with this. Thank you in advance.
Paula J.
Try Anne Serene's rather famous list (if you haven't already seen it):
http://www.humboldt.edu/~mpw1/Crossdress/husband.shtml
Here's a copy/paste (sorry, but the numbers didn't come through):
Advantages of Having a Crossdressing Husband
You can have your own private slumber parties.
If he wears a skirt it's easy access.
He always envies you because he would rather be wearing what your wearing.
You can have a girlfriend as well as a boyfriend who doesn't mind waiting while you take your time shopping.
You can double your wardrobe if he's the same size as you!
You never have to worry about cheating on you with another woman. He IS the other woman!!
You always have a girlfriend to go shopping and have lunch with!!
He'll NEVER object to being a clothes dummy and wearing a dress while you hem it.
While shopping, you can test a new shades of nail polish on him and he doesn't complain or ask to see a matching lipstick.
He'll rarely have scratchy five o'clock shadow.
He'll never ask you to have a thresome with another woman as long as he can wear the lingerie.
He will be sympathetic about your excess body hair.
He won't tear your lingerie when removing it from you.
He won't mind waiting on you or your girlfriends, and he won't forget to curtsey.
If you need a slip for that new dress you bought, he happens to have the perfect one, and lets you borrow it.
You can switch off wearing high heels on a long shopping spree.
A man in a dress makes a good cook.
He loves to smell perfume and will give you an honest opinion.
You can test a new shade of lipstick on him.
If you purchase something for the home, it will never be too feminine.
At least the toilet seat will be down.
He is a lot easier to buy gifts for.
He knows just the right way to make love, takes his time and knows just what makes you tick!
He will understand much better that the best thing a girl can have when she feels down is new clothes.
If he buys you clothes, you know he sizes them right.
You can take him to the hair salon with you and he will sit quietly while you both get your hair done, and he will never complain. In fact he'll thank you.
The only time he will ever care if you wear curlers to bed is if he has to wear the oversize rollers.
He understands why you don't care for spending 8 hours a day in pantyhose and high heels.
Never complains about leaving the delicate underwear out to dry.
You have a girlfriend that doesn't get PMS.
He will not only shop with you but will pay the bill as well!
He knows how to handle the delicates when he does the laundry.
Satin and velvet are more snuggly than denim and wool.
He understand the need for quality cosmetics.
You have more excuses to go shopping, and he will even carry the bags.
You can borrow his jewlry, clothes and makeup.
He understands why you go through so many pairs of stockings.
He no longer expects you to get ready for a night on the town in 15 minutes or less.
The world needs more feminist in lipstick.
You can take the Cosmo quizzes together.
You can ask him how na outfit looks and get an intelligent response.
His new friends don't spend all day watching football.
He knows to walk slow when your wearing heels.
If he says, "Hon, you look nice." you know he really means it.
He can spot makeup smudges better than any other guy.
He's like having a live in cosmetologist.
He loves to go shopping with you and watch you try on clothes.
He knows how to treat a lady with care and respect.
He's a friend that will stick arround, and won't flake out on you or stab you in the back.
He loves to dress up and have long chat sessions.
You can have a threesome without adding another partner.
If you've been bi-curious you can experiment a little.
You know one of you will have a tissue with you when you need it.
Dress him up in a French Maid's Uniform and you have a house cleaner for the day.
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© Copyright 2001 Anne Serene. All Rights Reserved. I liberally granting permission to use material on this site. For more information e-mail: Anne Serene
Thank you EasyCD,
That reference/link you provided is a wealth of information with some very interesting articles. I appreciate your sharing it with me and the other ladies. I'm always on the lookout for information on crossdressing and, basically, whatever may help to explain why, who, and what I am as a tranvestite. Although I've been dressing for most of my adult life, I am still puzzled by my behaviour, actions, and desires to dress enfemme and be a woman.
Sometimes, it seems to me, in the absence of a cosmic revelation, I will forever continue to wonder and seek an answer. And, I also recognize, I may never find an answer.
Thank you again,
PaulaJeanette
You are most welcome. Indeed it has puzzled me as well, but then I've come to see it as an "adventure" -- one I didn't really volunteer for to be sure, and one that is often difficult and terrifying, but which has its rewards too, and like any good adventure continues to surprise and amaze me. Enjoy the journey as best you can, and don't try to figure it all out at once. :)
Ladies,
Although, I have shared with all of you the fact that my wife has acknowledged my being a crossdresser, she still occasionally asks me why I dress. And, I guess the response that I give her..."I can't really explain why...I just enjoy dressing in women's lingerie"...is neither conclusive nor convincing enough for her. And, maybe for myself. I don't know...
For me, I don't feel or can related that it is about getting in touch with the feminine side of my personality. Although, it may well be so and I still need to do more research and reading in order to come to terms with it. All I know is I enjoy the sensuous feeling of wearing women's lingerie, the pleasant feeling I get at the visual sight of being dressed, and the exciting experience of having a feminine figure including breasts that appears in the mirror to be that of a woman. However, that feminine image is restricted to below my neck since I don't wear a wig or use makeup.
Am I in the minority or majority in this regard...can't explain why I crossdress? Kindly share your thoughts on this.
Thanks,
PaulaJeanette
You and I share similar domestic situations, and I too am at a loss to explain it. Many people (including wives) think it must mean we're gay, but this is not the case for me, and many others I'm sure. In fact I find most men rather crude and repulsive, but I LOVE women ... I want to be closer to them, especially my wife. Perhaps crossdressing is a natural (or unnatural depending upon who you ask) outgrowth of that desire to be close -- to embody that which we love the most.
Just be happy with who you are and let your wife share in the joy. She'll eventually stop wondering and just accept the bounty of your affection.