Young(er) and not feeling in place here

Dear MM,

I’m an old man, but luckily I’m very immature for my age. It’s almost like being young again, ho, ho. MM, I am sympathetic with your desire to have a forum for young people. We all like people best who are best like us. That’s because we all love to see ourselves in other people.

Personally, I like to be perceived as a feminine person, not as a female. I have a gender preference that I like to present in my appearance and behavior that doesn’t obscure my basic maleness and basic masculinity. In other words, I dig my own personal brand of androgyny. I don’t notice many other people who are like me on this site but I still feel very close to everyone here. We all have similar issues and feelings, not identical ones.

I enjoy the free-for-all discussions in some forums and the concentrated perspectives in others. I think a forum for young people is a good idea, but don’t ignore the fun you can have and things you can learn in the forums populated by older people and other people who are not like you.

Pink

P.S. You are cute.

I think I approach crossdressing differently. My goal is not to dress to necessarily fit in ( ie pass ) as a female. I just like trying different looks to see what I can come up with. It is for my own amusement and not for wandering around in the "real" world.

MM - glad to have you first and foremost.

i am 40 years old. i would have to say that many of us represent different generations here. and each generation has their style. my generation was heavily influenced by 80s style (as that was the style when i was in highschool/early college). so my style is a bit more flamboyant. your generation is much more casual than generations before you. so your dressing is very much attached to the style of your generation.

you'll probably find the older generations are holding on to the style of their generations which are more formal.

does that make sense?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tamara Croft

Jeez, you know when some of you wanted a clothing section and a beauty section, gm forum, ts private forum and blah blah blah... we accommodated this... we did this because the members wanted this. Now our younger members are asking us to help them, help them feel more at home here... and it isn't about segregation at all, 18 year olds don't want advice from 60 year olds how to dress... they'll end up looking like grannies... and 18 year olds just don't click with older people, they speak different, they dress different, they aren't all about stockings and high heels... they are different, they want something for them, what's so wrong about that?

It's being discussed now, I'm hoping to trial it :) it would be a nice place for my own daughter to join, to interact with people her own age, instead of getting bored with the ssdd stuff on here... so people, please, this is their request, not yours ok?

---

Thank you so much :D

Pink Person - You're one of the only other ones who I've seen that doesn't really refer to himself as a woman. I'm the same. The vast majority of the time I will refer to myself as a male, unless I'm really in the mindset, which only happens when I am currently dressed, and even then only if I get into the mindset to begin with. So most of the time you will see me referring to myself as a 'dude' and things like that. And thanks for the compliment :)

MaryJaneCapri - This thread has shed alot of light on that idea for me, and most likely the other younger generation who has felt out of place.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MentalMercury

The vast majority of the time I will refer to myself as a male

---

Oh cool! I thought I was the only one! I haven't ever referred to myself as female, and I don't think that's something that will ever change.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by LaChristina

Oh cool! I thought I was the only one! I haven't ever referred to myself as female, and I don't think that's something that will ever change.

---

Me too, Im just a guy in pretty clothes.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JennyRotten

Is 29 young or am I too old for you all now?

---

Sits next to jenny I'm 29 too. I'm bit different in the fact that I know about 4 TS that are under 30. ANd few more CD that are in their early 30's.


Now what made feel out of place was going to support groups were the average age was 55 .

Without mentioning numbers, I probably fit in the middle of the age spectrum here. (anyone over 80?) lol I am a die hard club girl. I get out at least one nite every weekend - many times more than one nite. My usuall dress includes heels and short skirts - which I find plenty of in the clubs. Pantyhose are for work and fancy occasions. I never see them in the clubs. I rarely wear hose. Clubs are hot and crowded. Add dancing to that and you can overheat quickly. I love that I can wear so much less clothes as a girl than the typical guy in jeans and a shirt. I wouldn't ruin that by wearing hose.

Many here love hose. Many here don't get out much. I've never married and all my GFs knew from day one. There are lots of reasons I can feel out of place here. We all have to fit in where we can. There is a lot of knowledge here, you just have to harvest it well. Post your own questions and start your own threads. It might surprise you, what you can learn from someone who may be different than you.

Gen

22 wow, you look good dear, i'm 51 and i dont overdress like a that , i just dress like a everyday girl going to the mall or just to be comfy in what i wear, far as make-up i prefer the more natural look, keep going girl , you have the looks and everything going for ya.:DTiffany

Hi MentalMercury, you seem very disillusioned and its good you're posting this thread. I think you might be overstating it a little. I see plenty of people wearing shorts or jeans and i think thats fine. I know there are many that are really hung up on high heels and stockings and i would venture a guess that its because that's the style we most associate with women and prefer to see women in. guilty here too.

I don't particularly like the idea of a separate area separated by age grouping. I don't particularly like the artificial separation we have for people who have transitioned or are transititoning except maybe they might feel more comfortable if they are discussing it amongst themselves.

I think the bottom line that brings us all here is that we are men who like to dress as women. (and those who support us) We are united more by what we share in common than our differences.

OMG I'm 30 so how do I join AARP and sign up for Medicare? I dress for the occasion. If its a high class dinner party its a simple black cocktail dress and pearls or boots and jeans for a BBQ. Whats so difficult about that? You want to look like a Mardi Gras clown go for it, I can live with that to! :love:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by darla_g

I don't particularly like the idea of a separate area separated by age grouping. I don't particularly like the artificial separation we have for people who have transitioned or are transititoning except maybe they might feel more comfortable if they are discussing it amongst themselves.

---

I may have to agree. I mean, the M2F section already has two subforums (beauty and clothing) where you could easily ask questions about younger styles. Those forums get maybe two new posts on the average day, so it's not like you'll be drowned out by old hags talking about how they refuse to wear anything but bonnets and ankle-length dresses ;)

I would have to agree with mentalmercury and pink in that I believe myself as male and not female. This is in the sense that I don't want to be female but I like wearing some feminine clothing from time to time. I hope this makes sense.

U can understand that. Because u r excited to appear in public as an extreme fantasy woman!

Unless u r TS/TG, or go out dressed often, CDing is all about fooling yourself and those that know u CD!

I'm a 60 year old man in a dress. But my fantasy is to look like a 20/40 year old woman! I sometimes dress in jeans. But, it's MY fantasy and I rarely dress casually!

U young whippersnappers need to communicate more! Then you'll discover how much u have in common. And how different u all r, too.

I agree with MM's original point, there does seem to be a difference in age/dress style. I am 22 and dress mostly in mini skirts or jeans/shorts but never wear hose (mainly because I don't know anything about them but also because I don't think I'd look good in them). I agree that we younger people could use a specialised forum to discuss our own topics; sorry MM, but I don't know how to contact the webmasters, are there no 'contact us' links anywhere? I haven't looked.

I'm with you on the whole image thing... most days i wear denim skirts, tights boots etc etc... very rare ill wear any form of business attire, well unless ive got a "paper work" day planed on my day off.

As far as makeup, again depends on what im wearing, relaxing day, prop none or v little, others full makeup wig etc etc.

Jo
xx

To the TS -

I SO agree.

For some time now browsing these forums, I've learned a lot about the culture, and enough to know that I'm not the only one out there. But, I feel out of place as well because the 'fashion' being discussed is not the same kind of fashion that I'm exposed to on a daily basis .. 20y/o college student, at school with girls in skin-tight low-rise jeans, leggings, ugg boots, Abercrombie&Fitch/Hollister Co., etc. I haven't really found any people on the forum that have the same taste in fashion, as most people here seem to rather wear long skirts rather than tight low-rise skinny or flared jeans.

The CLOSEST I've had to see people with the same tastes is on Myspace. But for some reason, whenEVER I find someone into the same thing on Myspace, the person turns out to be homosexual and in need of a relationship with some out-of-line comment like, " I NEED SOME C*CK NOW! " as their Myspace bulletin. Of course, I don't have anything against gay people, but I feel like these people are dressing simply because they're gay and want to flaunt it -- I want to meet younger people JUST into the dressing, and aren't looking to be in a M4M relationship. I feel like they want to be added on Myspace, or want to talk, just because they want a relationship.

It's hard finding a nice balance. On these boards, most of the members are married and are completely straight, and only discuss the dressing -- but are older and have different tastes in fashion. On Myspace, the fashion is pretty much right down my alley, but most people seem to be gay or bi-sexual, and that turns me off because I want to meet other young CD'ers with the same tastes as me, but we can relate to the fact that we both are straight.

I think part of the problem with youthful CD'ers is the fact that it is youth, and youth seems to revolve around sex. However, I'm not like that, I just want to talk, really. This goes for all of youth, not just crossdressers. I want a relationship with a girl where sex isn't going to be the primary determinant of the relationship, but it seems like a lot, if not, most of the girls (and guys) out there are ONLY looking for sex. A bit frustrating... =/

Whatever, that's my .02. Lol

PM me if you wanna talk =]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Nicole Lee

...I feel out of place as well because the 'fashion' being discussed is not the same kind of fashion that I'm exposed to on a daily basis

---

I doubt many are exposed to a lot of the frilly and/or skanky fashions discussed here on a daily basis. This thread should show you that many younger CDs exist. Feel free to start any threads you want to discuss younger topics. Don't just be sad that the threads don't already exist. Half the girls on this thread want to talk about younger stuff, so someone start talking already! ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SephiCD23

sorry MM, but I don't know how to contact the webmasters, are there no 'contact us' links anywhere? I haven't looked.

---

Well that says a lot to me... if.. and I'm saying if.. we created this section, how on earth would you know how to find it? I mean, you don't even know there's a contact us link at the bottom of every page you are on... There is also a staff link on the front page, there are staff links in the FAQ's... maybe you should learn to use the site more before asking personally for more sections don't you think?

Dunno if I missed your point, but I like the more normal stuff, for my age group, too. I dislike really high heels because the hurt to walk in; 3" is plenty for me [I might have to run after all].

'Interviewee', 'newgirl', or, 'dim one from accounts' is how I like to look. Possibly, 'distracted and studious'.

Like basques, stockings and suspenders underneath though.

Sophia :drink:

:rant:


While I have nothing but admiration and respect for those of you on here who are older than myself, I must agree with the younger members. I find that, with most people I talk to, when people think of a crossdresser, they first think of someone walking down the street on a normal day in a full dress/gloves/high heels outfit. While I believe we should only do what is comfortable, we must dress in accordance with other GGs in our age group in order to fit in.

Those of you who are young like myself(I'm 23), there is mch advice to be gained from our elders. They've been doing this a LOT longer than any of us, and have more experience. They can also show us some pitfalls of our lifestyle choices before we fall into them.

To those of you who are forever 31 (you know who I'm talking about!!!), I think you guys could maybe pick up some fashion tips from us young bloods.

I leave with this statement...and all you young people pay heed...without those who came before us, we wouldn't even know what to classify ourselves as. We wouldn't have any idea that we were not alone. And we sure as heck would not know that we weren't just the sick queer on the corner. It's because of those who came before us...the ones talking about pantyhose and garter belts...that we have a place to gather and belong.

So I leave you girls...for now :sb:
Michelle

okay, open mouth insert foot....I still meant what I said, but as usual, i reiterated what everybody else said...the bane of being a blonde I guess...:lol:

Everyone is freeto PM me for convo, etc...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MichelleOBrien

with most people I talk to, when people think of a crossdresser, they first think of someone walking down the street on a normal day in a full dress/gloves/high heels outfit.

---

A lot of people don't know the difference between a cross dresser and a drag queen.

Then there are people like me. Why should I have to be labeled a "crossdresser" just because my jeans or shoes or shirt are marketed to females?
Why is it so important to judge people by what they wear? I for one don't do this to "fit in" I do it because I like it. If I fit in that's just a bonus.

I find this topic very interesting. Most of the people here are here because they don't want people to hassle them about the way they dress. I am 27 and I still occasionally dress in the secretary suit or "pantyhose and garters" I am probably on the young side for this forum or at least I was when i signed up :) My point is everyone has a different idea of what it feels like to be a woman and most of the women here are more mature we should just appreciate that we have the advice of the older ladies and respect their classic taste in clothing.