Do you wish to be a full transexual ?

I've thought about this thread for some time. I can only agree with those who say that no-one 'wishes' to be transsexual, or transgender, or gender dysphoric.
I have read many articles by people who have had gender reassignment surgery at various ages and can see some people know from a very early age they were born with the wrong body, as well as people who have known there's something wrong but not been able to understand what the problem is. Either way it's not a wish, or an "I'd rather".

Me, I'm a plain vanilla crossdresser, happy to the guy who loves to frock up. My heart goes out to those who know something is deeply wrong and are either doing something about it or just struggling.

Christen x

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Originally Posted by Saikotsu

However, I get what you're saying. I did not simply decide one day that I was going to become gender fluid. It was always there, but I simply wasn't ready to accept it until I was in college.

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Exactly! There are males who are strictly at the male end of the spectrum who would never wish to abandon their maleness (even if they crossdress), females who are strictly at the other end of the spectrum and who would never wish to abandon their femaleness, and gender fluid people like you who fluctuate.

The point earlier was that solidly identified males, even if they crossdress, do not magically turn into male-bodied individuals who solidly identify as females (transsexuals). Transsexuals are born this way even if they go through a period of denial. And most TSs that I know, once they finally accept themselves, have said that they fundamentally always knew they were TS.

Hi Sharon,
never wish to be a full transexual, I think is a different thing is a change of sex. I feel good to crossdress when i can and I feel, is a special part of me.
I feel a man but love to be the "femme" Camilla whem I can and feel, is wonderful to play my feminine role, wear female dresses and shoes and I think is wonderful to share my passions and thoughts here in this forum.
There are a lot of nice and supportive people here, always ready to listen and help you, people that understand and share my special femme world.
Yes, I am a crossdresser...and I feel good this way, part time a man and part Camilla. Try to discover into you who you are...the answer is there...:)
Hugs

I know God has had a reason for me to wait this long (almost 37) to start crossdressing. And He must know why it will be close to 39 or 45 when I get the earliest chance to start my transition to become a woman. However, I have wanted the latter part for years and years.

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Originally Posted by Tinkerbell-GG

This post (and so many others here) is going to be the inspiration behind Tink's next thought of the week :)
I mean, wow, womanhood sure sounds nice coming from a male perspective. I actually happen to look a lot like the surfer girl you described, yet I can't remember a time when I got excited about my own body walking a boardwalk, or cared one whit that my skin glistened. I'd be upset I was sweating! lol.
I think the answer to this original question lies in some of the responses here. There's a definite disconnect between what real life is like as a female and what you all imagine it's like. I think the woman inside many here is a man's version. That alone should help you all answer the OP's question??

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I don't know if there is a disconnect in my post. You said "excited", I didn't mean that, I meant "envy". Even genetic women wish they were more beautiful like women on TV, etc. Some people wish they were taller, or better looking, or richer. Maybe it's just because I can't have it. Kinda like an allergic kid who can't have a puppy. He desires it more. Or possibly, sexual desire became attached oddly to the woman's essence and not just her body, and that makes a crossdresser. We've had this discussion here before. If an erotically-driven crossdresser can detach the sexual component from crossdressing, does the desire to be a woman remain? If so, what remains might be a transsexual. I think this might be possible. I knew a transsexual. She told me she used to always masturbate to women's catalogs pre-surgery, but now she just looks at the clothes as any woman would. Like I said before. I don't know why I have these feelings. Wish I did!

I absolutely do NOT want to transition. I simply want to dress like a girl occasionally.

If i lost my whole testes by cancer or accidant, I will consider SRS.

It's not so much that gender identity changes - I don't for a minute believe that it does. However, what does change is the severity of your gender dysphoria. At some point, the misery you feel living as a man exceeds your ability to suppress those feelings and you have to transition. Likewise, I think the pressures that encourage one to resist transition have an influence - and these can certainly lessen, although they are still quite severe.

If your gender dysphoria is pretty mild - you'll just be a crossdresser. If it's severe, you'll transition. I suspect a lot of it has to do with how much of your identity really is female. I think it's also possible that there are actually three related parts of your brain that can be affected somehow:
- sexual orientation
- gender identity
- gender expression
A feminine gay man would have a feminized sexual orientation, and gender expression to a lesser extent. A CD would a fairly normal male sexual orientation, a small amount of feminine gender identity, and some (possibly a lot) of feminine gender expression. A transsexual may have all three affected, or only a couple, but the gender identity will be pretty solidly female. (You find TSs who aren't very feminine and never CDed. At the other extreme, you have little kids who can't even stand dressing as their assigned at birth sex.) So it seems to me that it's likely a function of three variables.

And I'll just reiterate that being transsexual is something I wouldn't wish on a terrorist. To be true to yourself and comfortable in your own skin, you give up your humanity in the eyes of much of the world's population. You'll face discrimination, violence, and the emotional upheavals before and during transition can be nightmarish. (You just haven't lived until you've had nightmares about your genitals nearly every night.) You'll also likely lose a lot, sometimes everything, in the process. Me? I'm 51 years old. I've worked my whole life and accomplished a lot. I had homes, cars, a family, and at this point, 10 months into my transition, I pretty much have next to nothing to show for all of that. Having "next to nothing" makes me one of the lucky ones! Lots of us end up with "nothing."

Assuming you don't commit suicide first.

You don't want this.

I ****ing hate being told that the only reason i don't want to fully transition is because "i don't have the guts" or whatever. i don't want to transition because i don't want to lose my male genitals, or my reproductive function. I do want to have kids some day after all. Now that said i don't mind doing things to feminize myself in other ways that are not permanent or maybe less permanent.

@KaylaRoxx - who would tell you that you don't have the guts, and that's why you don't transition? I think you aren't in enough pain and discomfort over your gender to transition - which makes you quite lucky.

I'm not saying that i have no problems at all with my identity. but it's just not bad enough that i feel the need to lose my normal male functions. I've had people tell me that, amongst other things on thing on other sites that i used to go on before i joined here.

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Originally Posted by KaylaRoxx

I ****ing hate being told that the only reason i don't want to fully transition is because "i don't have the guts" or whatever.

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I don't blame you. Or, when they say that you must be in denial, or that you will increasingly be uncomfortable with being a man as you age. :p

I think a lot of members here feel like you do.

@Kayla - if you aren't uncomfortable enough, transition isn't for you. As for being gutless, we're all scared as hell when we start out. Unless your fear makes you live with unmanageable misery, I don't see it as a problem. No one but you can judge such a thing anyway.

I'd probably want to be a man had I been born a genetic girl. I'm not unhappy being a man, I'm just also happy dressing feminine sometimes. I think the proper term for someone like me is androgyne, though I have yet to see any gender specialists or therapists. So, no, I don't think I wish to be a full transexual. I have considered mild DIY HRT to get a body somewhere in the middle, though.

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Originally Posted by missmars

If i lost my whole testes by cancer or accidant, I will consider SRS.

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that is a fascinating statement. Sort of "If I am no longer a whole man, I would become a woman"? I wonder did you mean you ARE a TS just have no plans to have surgery. Or, do you see the gonads as imperative to being male?

(sorry, this may just be a failure to communicate because of language. I am respectful that you can speak English. I cannot speak any Korean)

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Originally Posted by KaylaRoxx

I ****ing hate being told that the only reason i don't want to fully transition is because "i don't have the guts" or whatever. i don't want to transition because i don't want to lose my male genitals, or my reproductive function. I do want to have kids some day after all. Now that said i don't mind doing things to feminize myself in other ways that are not permanent or maybe less permanent.

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Whoa! Who said that? We are all on our own journey. Personally I never felt the need to procreate. Has nothing to do with my GID. I just never wanted children. We all have our reasons to have or not have surgery. If you go back 4 years and read what I posted then I said I would never even consider it, too old, don't want to spend the money...I always knew I was TS, I just didn't think I would be a surgical TS. Things change. But let them change on your terms, not the people here

The best reason to not transition is because you are a man..

The whole question is just a way to fantasize (which is fine with me)..

Do furries want to be full squirrels?

Actually I do not know. I have taken SAGE test and got scor 655, indicating that I am a fit case for being considered TS. But I do n't like to have sex with a genetic male. However, I like only the female role during lovemaking. I have no plans for SRS.

id never heard of this sage test thing so i looked it up and tried it myself... i really dont get how the scoring for it works. it gave me a 625 or something like that, and basically told me that i'm more masculine than even i myself think i am sometimes. i think it gave me masculine on everything but appearance, which was androgynous. not quite sure how to feel about that actually.

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Originally Posted by KaylaRoxx

I ****ing hate being told that the only reason i don't want to fully transition is because "i don't have the guts" or whatever. i don't want to transition because i don't want to lose my male genitals, or my reproductive function. I do want to have kids some day after all. Now that said i don't mind doing things to feminize myself in other ways that are not permanent or maybe less permanent.

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Transition has nothing to do with "guts". Pain and misery are great motivators!

You can always bank sperm if you absolutely must have biological children, also there is adoption.

In my experience most men do not want to lose their male sexual abilities, they seem to be rather attached.

Isn't non permanent feminization a fancy way of saying crossdressing?

I am happy being a man, no desire or need to be anything else for me.
I just happen to like to dress in the finer clothes.

Everyone is different. For me I have no interest in srs, but I absolutely do in hrt. Why haven't I gone through with it? I don't think it has to do with lacking "guts", that's kind of insulting, but at the same time it is a huge deal and there definitely is some fear there of how things would turn out. My main reason for not going through with it is practicality I guess. i'm married and have a son and my actions and decisions have direct and very significant impacts on my family. I definitely struggle with how much of my self to comprimise. My wife is supportive but if I transitioned I know we would separate. She is straight and wants to be married to a functional male, for which I don't blame her. It's an issue that's constantly on my mind.

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

that is a fascinating statement. Sort of "If I am no longer a whole man, I would become a woman"? I wonder did you mean you ARE a TS just have no plans to have surgery. Or, do you see the gonads as imperative to being male?

(sorry, this may just be a failure to communicate because of language. I am respectful that you can speak English. I cannot speak any Korean)

Whoa! Who said that? We are all on our own journey. Personally I never felt the need to procreate. Has nothing to do with my GID. I just never wanted children. We all have our reasons to have or not have surgery. If you go back 4 years and read what I posted then I said I would never even consider it, too old, don't want to spend the money...I always knew I was TS, I just didn't think I would be a surgical TS. Things change. But let them change on your terms, not the people here

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I think I am not TS. I want children I always love woman. I have masculine brain. I will never inhibit my fertility. I never consider and will never consider SRS unless I lose testises. Losing testis means I am no longer a fertile man and I have no source of masculine hormone.

I enjoy being a plain guy. Never felt I was a woman trapped in my body, and dressing up is lot of work that I don't do it all that often.

Carrie,

You almost look like a genetic woman in your avatar!

Wow, thanks, swear I'm not though. Have plenty of worse photos I could show, but why?