Not very. I identify as Translesbian.
More detail would be that I am far more attracted to the feminine, though I am not so hung up on the persons sex.
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Not very. I identify as Translesbian.
More detail would be that I am far more attracted to the feminine, though I am not so hung up on the persons sex.
For me it's 100% straight. Women are the greatest. Dudes gross me out and that includes lookin at myself in the mirror
For the longest time I wallowed in thinking I was 100% straight.......that changed quite quickly when I had my first meet up with a guy while I was cross dressing and then I realized that I am very much Bisexual and love both men and women. I prefer to top when it comes to guys because it makes me feel powerful and in charge but not in a master/slave type relationship. I'm definitely attracted to women but I also get excited about guys as well especially when I'm playing the lady ;)
I wouldn't know really how to classify my sexuality. I am only with my wife since we've been married, but my years prior were a different story. I do fantasize at times that she is the man and I an the woman.
I've been the recipient of oral from men, full reciprocal with a pre-op TS, and given oral to a man. Out of everything, the TS experience was my favorite.
When I watch porn online, I always gravitate to the ******* porn.
Someone of slightly scientific bent (pardon the pun) had to do this...
This thread is begging for a summary so here it is...
Exclusions/Definitions to data:
- Members who post more than once are only counted once
- Posts that are debates and conversations are excluded
- Those who do not express a definition or waffle are classed as N/A :)
- Those who self-define as one class but just fantasise about something else are classified per history rather than fantasy
- Those who self-define as straight but clearly have active other sexual relations have been categorised as Bi-
- I've put Bi and Pan together as I struggle to make a clear distinction
- Members who express a clear uncertainty in that they may go in more than one direction (if that makes sense) have been classified as Bi-curious
If anyone disagrees with any categories I'm happy to review the definitions and the base data for a fee of $500 - PayPal accepted... :p
And the results are:
Attachment 235183
Enjoy!
Katey x
I am 100% totally Bi no doubt in my mind
Used to consider myself bi-curious, I'm bi. No doubt
i'm not bi-ing it!
Nice job Katey. My hypothesis is that straight cross dressers (hetero only) are more likely to refrain from comment than the bi/maybe group. I'm a big believer that the vocal minority seems to rule. I responded, more than once, I am sure, due to pure frustration. I can;t abide by the nonsense comments along the lines of, "...I'm straight except when I'm dressed..." There is no such thing as "straight except for..." Just kills me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Katey888
true there is no bi ONLY WHEN DRESSED
because in that case they BECOME the woman!
it all fits!
still straight!
(eyah!)
Yes, I also had trouble understanding that, but I rarely challenge anyone about it unless they say something really stupid. I would have to believe that dressing becomes an enabler or a gateway to other behavorial possibilities for some. Once you break down that initial gender barrier, other things can happen.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
I agree with Sheri. I have often wondered how I might react to meeting another cd fully dressed or a man interested in me dressed as a woman.
Agreed Jennifer! I replied to this thread once, months ago, but quickly got to the point where I'd simply delete the posts as they appeared in my Inbox, unless it was a poster who's name I recognized such as yourself or Katey for instance, precisely because of those idiotic "I'm 100% straight except for when it's another guy in a skirt" type posts! :doh:Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
I'm straight except when I'm doing yoga, then I'm kind of crooked. {sorry, couldn't resist a bit of levity}
Katey, nice chart. Is that based entirely on responses to this thread?
:)
The data is drawn from this thread Melanie - up to post #404 (the one before the chart). I have collated members' comments as closely as possible to the categories detailed in the post with the chart. I don't think any conclusions as such can be drawn from this, as it is a self-selected group who have responded. I'm not sure there's any credence in the assertion that hetero members are less likely to respond, however - I'd suggest that there isn't any strong bias for responding based on sexuality. All I think you can say about the relatively small sample size is:
- The spilt between straight or non-straight is about even
- There are a significant number of responses (for this sample size) that suggest some uncertainty regarding sexuality including a desire to explore, although many of these are likely to remain purely fantasy
- Gays are in a definite minority here (I think we guessed that... :))
Interesting... possibly representative, but by no means definitive... however, in the absence of any other more compelling data... :thinking:
Katey x
I totally agree. This is my first comment on this thread as I have had large troubles in even reading it without loosing my fool mind! The whole "straight except for..." thing just kills me!Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
Oh and for the record, I am 100% hetero. I am not into guys in any way, regardless of how they or I am dressed. Now I do have a bi friend who has let me know how into me he is but he feels bad about it as he knows I am straight and he does not want to make me uncomfortable. I laughed when he told me that. I let him know that if he is into me, that is fine, but just don't expect that to be returned, like ever!
And Katey, I love your chart!
Katey, thanks for the effort. My thread with the Adultfriendfinder data was not particularly well received I think. I'm very interested in knowing who we are as a group and the "official" statistics available seem inadequate. Regarding the AFF data how it may or may not be representative, I also compared men who are only interested in women to men who are interested in more than just women and found an interesting percentage that parallels the general population - between 5 and 10 percent of AFF men are bi or gay.
So like most of the people on this thread I thought that my crossdressing is something that goes along with being gay and always wondered if i was growing up.
I still think i cant answer that but if i had t label myself i would say i am Bi. Why? Because in the porn category i always search and watch gay porn. Straight porn get me excited as well but if i was going to search for something i would most likely watch gay porn. Not sure why but I just do. The thing wiht any pron gay or straight is that it is a fantasy and i think that the fantasy of it is what is attractive to me.
But here is the thing. I find the form of a women to be the most beautiful thing there is. Men in person just turn me off. Girls are pretty and we do our best to be as pretty as them(and sometimes are more pretty then GGs). The best sex i have ever had is with women and i think that makes me more straight then not.
I am married now and i promised my wife i would never stray from our marriage bed and i am more then happy with that as she does everything for me and takes cares of all my desires so i guess i will never really find out if guys really do it for me at all.
Wow, Rhonda...what kind of nerve did you touch here?
17 pages and still going. Lol
So here is something to think about. Why does this matter?
I guess there is affirmation in learning that ones preferences are shared by others. Sure. I get that.
Sexuality is a touchy subject, and many people experience guilt related to fantasies or actual experiences outside the strict hetero world, whether they have gender issues or not, right? And, if guilt/shame/insecurity etc are in any way present in a person over ambiguous or non straight sexual impulses, then affirmation that they are not alone in this is helpful. I get that.
But, gender identity and sexual preferences are not the same and are only loosely connected....or, at least, that is the take I have gotten from most all of what I have read, and I believe it.
While I find the "I'm straight except..." responses amusing, I am equally amused by all the strident expressions of pure heterosexuality.
I often wonder, to quote my buddy Will, if "the lady doth protest too much" tee hee
No, not pointing fingers at anyone. I do believe there are many cds who absolutely are absolutely straight sexually.
But there is also a whole lot of self delusion, I am guessing, going on among some.
And I find that amusing.
In a world where it is now widely considered acceptable for people to be gay, or lesbian or bi, while being TG to one degree or another is still a status struggling to gain acceptance and escape prejudice, scorn and derision, how can someone be less nervous about admitting they crossdress than about admitting they might have a same sex attraction?
For that matter, is it same sex?
We make a big deal about addressing each other with gender appropriate pronouns, obviously addressing the feminine identity. So if the identity is female and the sexual relation is to a male, then is that truly "gay"?
People...respectfully...what does it matter?
I find the only time it is important to answer this question is when faced with another person hitting on me. Other than that?
Life is short and there are many things to worry about, but defining, labeling, boxing myself...there are bigger issues. Just have a good time, girls. Look for the love.
And don't forget to dance.
Lol
Love to you all, straight, bi, gay and confused.
Sammie
Sammie,
That was a very well written and thought out response. Nicely done and very good point for sure!
I once was a guy, so I guess I can reply here. Estrogen has destroyed my sex drive (good riddance!) along with my sexual preferences -- which were straight. Although I find myself emotionally attracted to anyone who is attracted to me I have a preference for other trans-women. So boys and girls, here's my question. Does that make me a lesbian, gay or a galesbian? I'm not confused, but some people have a hard time labeling me (poor things). I love who I love, and life should be as simple as that.
Haha...yes, Cheryl, I get that totally...you and I have a lot in common, girl. :-)
Years ago we had polls and I can remember at least one where it was 40% straight, 40% bi and 10% gay so this is reinforcing that. The numbers may skew a bit as always because of the site and who is willing to answer but I think it is a good "cross" section. Great chartQuote:
Originally Posted by Katey888
Add on when your parents tell you you must be gay if you crossdress. Takes a while to find your way.Quote:
Originally Posted by Heather_Shirly
For most of my life I considered myself to be 'bi-curious, but functionally straight'.
My dad was homophobic, to the point where he could hardly say the word 'homosexual', and couldn't discuss sex matters at all with me. Mom said dad had a bad experience as a child with a 'Baptist preacher' that affected his ability to discuss sex stuff, but no one gave me any details. Heck, for all I know maybe dad had a gay experience that embarrassed the hell out of him when he was a teen! Or maybe that preacher just drilled it into him that being Gay was horrible and a sin. Dad wasn't particularly religious, and didn't rant against gays. He just couldn't discuss sexuality issues at all. All I knew in my teens was that there was no way I could tell either of them that their only son had just had his first experience with someone else giving him sexual gratification, and that it had been another guy! I had pretty mixed feelings about it myself, and tried to ignore that one night as a one-off experience. Never got intimate with that guy again.
As I grew up, I did the expected thing and only dated girls, and only offered platonic friendship to other males. Yet I still found myself looking at some men with the same longing that I had for women - thinking that a guy was hot and sexy. And I did allow one other guy to pleasure me, one night. Then later, when I was in the Navy and one of my Navy friends came out as gay and got a discharge for it, I almost confessed to him that I found him attractive, and wanted to try sex with him myself. But I didn't dare come out. I couldn't risk my family finding out.
I married a nice girl and had a straight, monogamous marriage for 30 years, and we raised a lovely daughter together. My wife knew I had bisexual leanings. So for that time, my physical activities were entirely straight, though I would, in private, occasionally enjoy some MM fantasies.
I developed a female on-line personna and did some adult roleplaying as Ceera, but kept a very clear division between what Ceera did on line and what my real life could include. I made it very clear to any of Ceera's on-line friends that I was married and monogamous in real life, and that any on-line roleplaying was only that, and that all I offered between us in the real world was a platonic friendship.
In the last few years of my marriage, after both of my parents had died, I started covertly wearing women's underwear. My wife and daughter eventually knew, and accepted it, though my wife was a bit uneasy about me doing it.
Now my wife has also died, and I am single again, with no one to be held accountable to for my pleasures but myself. I decided to come out to my daughter about being bi and liking the idea of fully cross dressing. My daughter is 18, and accepts my choices. She even helps me to shop for girl clothes!
Since last July, I've been going out en-femme to a nearby gay club, and have been open to whatever might happen. Last weekend, for the first time in my life, I accepted an offer to 'go someplace and make out' from a guy, and took him to my home and my bed. It was my first time having sex while en-femme with another male. I... liked it. Pretty much knew I would. I think I still prefer women, but I'd date a man just as readily, if I liked him. So now I consider myself fully bisexual, with a preference for female partners.
I doubt I could ever be satisfied with trying to be a girl full-time, or with only having a male lover. I enjoy mating with women as a male too much. But I'm pretty sure that from here on out, I'll be working both sides of the street with my relationships. Maybe I can find a nice couple who likes threesomes? Who knows...
Tough question as started dressing at 10 and being gay or cross dressing was a no, no so I've always on the outside been straight. Now I know I'm very bi sexual and not gay as not attracted to men in particular but am attracted to other dressers though I have dressed and been with men who liked me fem and dressed. Men are OK but just not attracted to those really gay guys if you know what I mean! Sexually, a really nice penis does turn me on.
First of all im a transexual woman! not a guy.
to answer the question i started dressing as far as i can remember about 10,11 even though i thought it for many years i admited what i was about 10 years ago.
as to being attracted to guys i like guys and gals bi it depends on the person?
I guess the idea to me is MYTHS
Myth: All crossdressers are gay!
well no... "most are straight!"
Myth 2.0: most crossdressers are straight ... 100% straight... BEYOND STRAIGHT (not even 0.00001% attracted to males)
well uh... no
it appears that most CDers are bisexual or at least HETEROFLEXIBLE (which fits with that whole straight BUT thing that people have so much trouble with)
if a gal makes out with another gal at a college party and likes it is she instantly bi or can she be straight and experimenting / having fun?
who knows!
Completely gay long before I knew what being gay was.
I found both men and women attractive. Liked David Cassidy of Partridge family and Davey Jones of the Monkeys. But I was also attracted to Anne Margaret and Joey Heatherton. I also had a think for Anne Francis in Honey West.
My romantic fantasies as a kid were of me as a girl being kissed by a girl. I wanted to be the submissive, the femme, but I wanted her to be a pretty too.
Attraction is a relative thing. If you had to choose between Ethel Merman toward the end and Justin Timberlake or Leonardo DeCaprio in their prime, most of us would choose the boy.
By sexual fantasies were almost always of me with another girl, usually both of us in skirt suits.
I'd say I'm bi-curious but not straight up with a guy. I can honestly say I haven't seen a man who gave me the urge sexually. Having said that I'd be interested a TS/TG experience. Being with my wife negates the possibility entirely and that's ok with me because she's amazing.
At one time it was women only for me and would not even accept/recognize the bi or gay lifestyle
Many years ago when I dressed it was purely a sexy thing for the bedroom with my wife
Years pass by and now don't dress directly for the bedroom but to publicly pass as a woman(mostly do on occaision don't usually if I have to talk)
Now men only as I just love to play the role of a woman
And I dress day and night now
I'm in agreement with Sheri and also JennyMarie. I love seeing a feminine form, but I'm also fascinated by the thought of having a man expressing his desire for me.
Mink, did you invent that word? I like it. I think a lot of CDer's are probably straight but in the same way that Clothes, make-up, heels, jewelry, nail polish etc., make them feel femme and fantastic, doing things that other women do probably makes them feel the same way. Shopping for clothes, watching "say yes to the dress", gossiping with other girls, having sex with a man, for example are all "womanly acts" that straight CDers may do or think about while en femme...Hence like you say they are hetero - flexible. But when it comes to their true sexual drive, they love WOMEN.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mink
Obviously I am not a professional therapist and only offer an opinion based on my experience communicating with you girls on this site...hehehe
BTW Mink, how do I get to Portland from Boston? "Ya cah'nt get theya from hehya" lol
I have to say I'm not passable at all but dressing fem feels so good nd acting fem is awesome. I guess I'm bi but try to act manly lol but wen I get the urge I get all girly especially if he takes control. Don't get turned on by men but I do catch myself lookin at them up nd down wondering lol
I have to say that I fall into the Bi category. I love the female body for all of the softness and femininity that women have to offer. I also love the male body for what it has to offer as well. When put together (transexuals speaking) IMHO, you have the best of both!
this thread will never end, sadly. But, as I do know, to answer your question/statement, allow me....Quote:
Originally Posted by Mink
You are correct in your first assessment of the myth. In fact, few cross dressers are gay. This fact is clearly reflected on this forum. It makes perfect sense as gay men are attracted to men.
You are wrong in your second aeeseement. Most cross dressers ARE straight. This fact is also represented well on this forum.
You are also wrong in your statement that "most" cross dressers are bi. The correct answer is "some" cross dressers are bi. Your conclusion can not be reached based on the facts in evidence here or in science.
I hope this clarity helps you
Totally straight, No interest at all in getting intimate with other males.
A common statement by cross-dressers is, "I am only attracted to women but when I am 'dressed' [athenased] I think about sex with a man". To which the response is that they are homosexual and in denial to which the cross-dresser replies, "I am not!", to which the respondent claims that they must be bisexual.
I have written a longer post on sexual identity but have not posted it (it is very long). My response in another place to someone who posed a variation of the above conundrum may be a shorter means of introducing my concepts.
Minerva.
Hi, Vicki.
What is confusing is that most people conflate 'sex' with 'gender'. As a result they make conclusions based on false premises.
For example, nobody is heterosexual. Heterosexual supposedly means sexually aroused by or attracted to the opposite sex. First of all there is no 'opposite' sex. The sexes have more in common (two hands, teeth, hair, etc.) than they have differences. The differences are centred on one's role in reproduction and even there it is simply a matter of developing differently. Females develop ovaries and males (from the same, basic physiological elements) develop testes. To say that one is 'opposite' connotes a sense that one is better/worse, bad/good, right/wrong, etc. It is the 'other' sex and even then one has to remember that the sexes are equal and complimentary and not poles on some fictitious scale.
The second thing is that it is not the other person's sex that attracts you. Consider a so-called 'heterosexual' male. He sees a very lovely, young woman and is sexually attracted and aroused. But the woman is male. Not knowing that the woman is male, is he suddenly 'homosexual' (attracted to the same sex)? Of course not! If he learns that the woman is male and is still (not being a panic-stricken bigot) attracted, does this mean he has magically been transformed to a 'homosexual'? Again, of course not! That is because it was never the woman's sex that attracted him. It was her gender (femininity rather than femaleness).
If it was the other person's sex that attracted a person, then, by definition, they would be attracted to ALL persons of that sex. This is not true so it is not the other person's sex that attracts. Thus 'homosexual', 'heterosexual', 'bisexual', etc., cannot be applied to people to define their sexual orientation. They can be applied to various sexual situations. For example male-male intimacy IS homosexual (same-sex) coitus, but that does not mean that either or both persons ARE 'homosexual'. In fact, with a little thought, you may be able to consider situations where both participants are male and at least one is not 'homosexual'. So the commonly used terms are not only misleading they are meaningless.
I prefer the terms androphile, gynecophile, asexual, ambiphile and androgynophile to describe various sexual orientations. Androphile means attracted to masculinity or to men (not males necessarily as men is the gender and not the sex). Gynecophile is attracted to women (regardless of their sex). Asexual means not wanting to be sexual (possibly romantic). Ambiphile means attracted to either or any gender. Androgynophile is attracted to someone of a blended gender or who is essentially genderless (a whole other topic).
Some people try to equate, for example, androphile with homosexual but that is an error. Both males and females can be androphiles, and a androphilic female is not 'homosexual'. Basically, as far as sexual attraction goes, sex has nothing to do with it. It is all about gender.
Another factor is sexual identity. Most people think this means whether you think you are male or female, Regardless of what you 'think', you ARE male or female, and that's not going to change. Besides that's 'sex identity' and no matter how you identify, it's still not going to change. 'Sexual' has to do with coitus, intercourse, or whatever you want to call it. And, unless you are trying to make babies, sex (male-female) has nothing to do with it. Gender does.
Sexual Identity is how you see yourself in a sexual situation. There are basically three roles: passive-receptive (feminine), active-initiative (masculine) or co-operative masculine-masculine, feminine-feminine or a variety of other combinations (if one adds androgyny). Some people are gender variant. Most people are gender invariant. That is why most males prefer to be masculine, most females prefer to be feminine, etc. This is true with sexual identity as well. The gender variant, however, when masculine may prefer to be active-initiative and when feminine they may wish to be passive-receptive. A male, gender variant, gynecophile when feminine still likes women but can be, by her own femininity, aroused to want to be in a sexual situation with a male in a passive-receptive and feminine role. It is not the male's sex so much as the male's sexual apparatus. This is why a gender variant male can have a good sexual relationship with a male without any extensive romantic component. It's just sexual!
If you can remember that sex (male-female) and gender (androgynous, masculine and feminine) are completely different things, that sex does not really matter but gender does then the erroneous nature of a lot of terminology, the confusion those errors create and massive misunderstandings concerning them become clear.
So it is possible for a gender variant male to want to have, and to have, an intimate relationship with another male without either of them being 'gay'. As for your being attracted to women, if you see a really sexy cross-dresser and feel aroused, it is not because you are 'gay' but because you are a male gynecophile.
Minerva.
Minerva
A very interesting post. Thank you.
After almost 30 years after having my first boyfreind I fully accepted that I was gay. Another few years before I admited to my wife.
I am bi curious but the funny part about this tread is differentiating what the baser attraction is due to the gender identity thing. I think the underlying question is do you find heterosexual sex attractive regardless of genetic gender identity or homosexual sex attractive regardless of genetic gender identity. Just because your watch straight porn doesn't mean your attraction is solely coming from the males perspective, no pun intended lol... I watch straight porn all the time but it doesn't mean I'm not fantasizing about what it might be like for the female... Just something to think about...
Andrea, good point. Like you, when I watch straight porn, I totally put myself in her position (pun intended). Total turn on!Quote:
Originally Posted by GenderCurious Andrea
Traci
Minerva, I like your explanation of "Sexual Identity." That makes a lot of sense.
Minerva's post is interesting. But for some of us, when the fem clothes come off, it kills the sexual desire as we "become" men again. How does that play into it?
I'm straight... I crossdress because I love the attention that I get. I have zero interest in other men or crossdressers in a sexual or romantic way.
Thanks Minerva.
That is a very wise way to look at the whole gay/straight thing.
Very interesting post. Not sure about the testing or the validity of it but the one thing I can agree on, many of the homophobes are secretly very turned on by it.
As for me, I am bi. It was a shock to me when I discovered I wanted my then wife's bf nearly as much as I wanted her.
It took some years more before I actively tested the waters though and I have liked it both ways.
I much prefer women or fellow CD/TG girls but a good man, yes there are some, is a good find too. I relate as non-op transgender and live as Rosaliy 24/7, although I retained my male image for work up till I retired.
My realization finally gelled when I realized that, seeing images I had seen before, I had stopped thinking 'I would love to be doing that with her' and started thinking 'I would love to be her doing that.'
I used to think I was fairly straight even when I started dressing back in high school. I started later than some but I started because it was 'something I had to do.'
@Minerva Morgan - a good response and excellent presentation.
For my part, I always felt that if you like what you see when I am dressed as a woman, then *I* did a good job presenting myself to advantage. It has nothing whatever to do with you, but is all about me in that respect. Too many men seem to feel that if they are attracted to you as a woman, then find out you are not really, that it someone speaks poorly about themselves as men. WRONG. But I can't help how they think of themselves.
@jenniferathome - I agree, Jennifer. If you are interested in both sides you are interested all the time, not just when you are dressed.
I would agree that some of your 'personal' thoughts might depend on how you are dressed in a given situation but interest remains interest. I thought I was straight till I learned otherwise. Not complaining. Life is good and the loving is too, regardless of who I am loving.
I'm mostly straight. I have almost no interest in men other than the junk. I've experimented with a friend in the past and never felt any physical or romantic attraction.