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I really would like to meet with some of my fellow, CD friends in person. What was it like, the first time that you met a fellow CD in person? It is something that I really want to do and I have not followed through in doing it. I am just a little apprehensive about the first meeting.
Thank you for any support or suggestions. I spend more time thinking about Cross Dressing than actually doing it. That needs to change.
Actually, My first meeting was a group meeting way back in 2001. I had decided to attend A Renaissance meeting and join the group if it worked out. It was good and I hung in with those folks for their monthly meeting for a number of years following. This gave me the confidence to get together with others one on one to socialize and lunches and chatting.:)
I recently met another member on this forum. We did meet in guy mode but looking back I should have at least came in girl mode. It went really well and after we picked out a new wig for me we talked for a while. I say do it!
When I visited a big city and went to a wig shop that works with major league drag queen crossdressers, a customer came with ten of his wigs to prepare while he was flying out of town work. This was the guy who sits way in front of the plane. He seemed so...plain. A few years younger. He had no need to meet me. He was in civilian boy clothes and I was in girl dress but not mind getting a make up lesson. We chatted as well as possible, for a few minutes. Both of us were forcing small talk. What stands out to me is how unassuming and inconsequential this meeting had been. I would love to go to a place where "us" girls can get out for a night. Oh, but for a large city.
I joined this forum in 2010. Shortly thereafter I was contacted by another member who lived about 40 minutes away. Her name was Tami. Each of us was familiar with the other's town. We agreed to meet at my place dressed and what a truly amazing experience it was. She was gorgeous and we sat and talked for an hour or so sitting face to face like girls rather than side to side like guys. We took pictures, even took a couple on my balcony! Finally we agreed to go out together to an LGBT club in another town to the south. She would come by and pick me up the following Friday. That first time out was magical. I met a few other CDs, a couple of drag queens, and this gorgeous girl walked all the way across the bar to compliment me on my strappy pumps. The only ones I owned at the time! She disappeared a year or so later and I miss her terribly, but she got me out the door and the rest is history.
Not all the CDs you may meet on the forum will be so gracious. Some will ignore you, some will talk big and never show, some are complete BS. Not to worry, there are gems out there like Tami, who can change your life.
It is a bit like learning to ride a bike.
Once you have done it it seems a lot easier.
I met a number of drag queens in my first foray into the outer world.
They just grabbed me and took me out there.
It can be just as awkward, or just as easy, as meeting anyone else. The one thing you've got going for you in this meeting compared to meeting any old stranger is that you know you share at least one common interest already.
For most of us the first time was probably filled with plenty of nerves leading up to it, but after that you get to the same kind of interaction you'd have with anyone pretty quickly. You'll soon know if this is someone you'd enjoy spending time with.
-Bree
Try to find a local suport group. You will meet some wonderful people who are willing to help.
Kelley
I like the way Bree put it. We are a slice of society, so from a personality standpoint, it isn't any different then meeting anyone else. Some will be pleasant and some will be stand-offish as mentioned. My experiences have been predominately positive. Any that had the potential to be negative, I could tell before even heading towards meeting in person.
The one thing is that we share a common interest. This will sometimes pull people together; sometimes it won't make a difference. But I have met some of the most wonderful people because of our common interest.
My very first time was meeting Kathi Lake. It was a great and fun day. Little did she know the monster she was creating. Now, all of my best friends can be tied to the one event where I signed into this forum.
I joined two local groups. I have met over 100 "ladies" and most of them are very nice and a few are really good friends I wouldn't want to have missed meeting.
I agree with others in this thread. Meeting another crossdresser is amazing. Chatting about dressing on the internet is one thing but face to face discussion of similar topics in person is quite different. Meeting another who shares your passion and feelings about dressing is great.
RE: Not all the CDs you may meet on the forum will be so gracious. Some will ignore you, some will talk big and never show, some are complete BS. Not to worry, there are gems out there like Tami, who can change your life.
A few weeks ago I received a PM from another member in my area. Asking if I wanted to meet them. I am not out to the world, and other then a few drives in the car am not out at all. After thinking for a while I responded that I was interested. That I had never been out dressed. And asked what they had in mind. As a side note I mentioned that I was straight and in a committed relationship.
I never received another response. I looked at the persons profile, they are a long time member but almost no posts. Made me wonder if they just troll looking for sex partners. I don't know? But I do know that the world is full of all types of people.
Be Careful! And try to have fun!
I go out frequently to LGBT friendly venues. I am always approached by TG people, asking questions or giving compliments, but i am also approached by people who appear to be "just another one of the guys"... Only to find out that they know me from here or another photo/forum site.Quote:
What was it like, the first time that you met a fellow CD in person?
Almost all of the Cd's i have met while out and about, are usually in Drab. However when i do see another CD....And they see me....I always introduce myself.
(yeah i know...I break the rules...i dont need a lecture on clocking another TG person.)
But The very First time i met another CD....It was great, it gave me the confidence to know that there really are other people like me out in the world.....
Now its hard to keep me home on a saturday night.....
-Donni-
We're like anyone else. I met a girl downtown at the club on Saturday who was polite enough, but not really interested in making new friends. Then I met a different girl at the club last night who was really friendly. We shared a lot of stories and chatted until we parted ways. Meeting a fellow T-girl is just like meeting anyone, except, maybe, that you feel you can be a little more honest? You don't have to worry about them judging you for what you do, although they might call you out on your shoes if it is warranted! ;-)
I have two members from this forum twice. Once alone with the two and once with my wife. The first meeting was my very firs time out and interacting with the general population. I reached out to them the first time because I needed and wanted some support that first time. We had a great time. We seemed to hit off, beyond our one obvious common interest. Like all first meetings, there is a chance you will not hit off. And by the way, it was made clear before we met that this was not a hook up. Before your meeting ask any question you like. The second time we met, it was a larger group with my wife, as mentioned, and their dates for that evening. We went to a broadway show, dinner and had a really good time.
I also met a fellow member in Las Vegas who had declared themselves "bi" and in that case, I made it clear that this was a platonic meeting and she had no problems with that. We had a great time just hanging out.
Like all things, be safe, try to get to know them before you meet them and when you meet, make it a public setting. Have fun
Fortunately this Forum provides an excellent way to meet sister crossdressers. You may not hit it off with everyone, but the more you get into circulation, the sooner and better the chance that you will make some true friends - maybe the closest friends you'll ever make, given the unique bond that makes us so different - and if you're lucky you'll get the experience the joys of a girls night out, nothing like it!
Thank you for all of the replies so far. I do see a common trend in the responses, that I will need to be upfront about the meeting, it is not going to be a hook up. I never considered that factor.
This is why I asked this question in the first place, to gather information from your personal experiences. I realize that every meeting will not make an instant friend and meeting in a public place should make for a safe common ground to find that out.
I have never regretted joining this forum and I have gained many wonderful online friends so far. I just need to meet some of my friends in person to be able to really open up.
Keep the comments coming, and I will read all of them.
Thank you,
I have met several from this forum and others. I have no problem meeting first in guy mode. If one can meet that way and have a decent conversation, then meeting dressed up is that much more fun. As Bree said, it should be no different than meeting anyone else in guy mode for the fort time when meeting to discuss a common interest. Go with the flow, diplomatically ask the questions that you want answers to and enjoy the moment. Also, trust your own instincts, they will be more accurate than you think. Good luck.
I have only met one other member of this forum in person. We met at a pub in London, in male mode. I don't recall that we even mentioned CDing.
While I don't necessarily have a lot of friends here, I have met almost half of them FtF. It's really amazing to meet someone like you, and be able to talk about how it started, where you are now, and how you got there.
For me, I felt safer meeing in public rather than my house or hotel room. And after I met a couple of girls, I could ask one of them if they knew so and so.
The first girl I met in the parking lot because I was afraid to walk from the parking lot to the car and to go into the restaurant alone.
So, make sure that you are comfortable with the arrangements in advanceand be clear if this is social or sexual.
Great question Rebecca. I almost meet some CDer's at a get together in Vegas years ago but I just wasn't ready. I've always wondered what it might be like. Part of me thinks it would be awkward. I'm probably over thinking it. I enjoying reading the responses.
My question is do these meetings take on masculine, relaxed tone. Men dressed as women talking about sports and drinking beer. Or are they generally more feminine, with everyone in "character", sipping white wine and talking about clothes. Of course, I generalize and something tells me it depends on the company. Both scenarios are appealing and scary at the same time.
Marlene, from my own experience the conversations will go wherever they want to. Sometimes you may talk about CD things, like makeup, clothes, getting out of the house and neighbor hood, other times about just being out, and probably the majority about whatever we did yesterday or during the week. Now, the first time you meet someone, there is that natural getting to know you part. Since we have this unique side of us, there may be more time spent on that. However, if you meet that same person multiple times, the conversation actually gets a lot more "normal" and, yes, that includes sports, cars, and women.
At the first time I met another member of this forum I was very nervous as I hadn't really sorted out my own feelings about myself. She was very careful to help me feel comfortable and when we met I was in male mode and she was en femme.
Since then we've become fast friends and get together whenever we can. Of course it's best if we're both en femme, but sometimes circumstances demand that one or the other of us be in drab and that is fine too.
I have met quite a few in the past week through a social, support group.
It has been an astounding experience, the welcome, acceptance, and the visual experience too!
For me, joining a local group has allowed me to meet people that truly are part of the sisterhood and definitely not trolls. :)
It is a safer way to meet like minded souls with a large measure of security and you will not feel so vulnerable.
Rebecca