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Funny, I do my fair share of shopping and have little angst about it, today I bought some makeup and the women says wow you are good, you buy this for daughter or wife. Of course I said daughter...but ya think she knew and was giving herself an out? Funny, that is how I feel each time someone does that...my cover always includes throw the receipt in the bag!
:eek::eek::eek:
I do most of angies shopping.Only onecs did some one told me the things should look good on me. then said just joking.:hugs:
Angie
I was sifting thru the dresses at one of our local thrift stores on Black Friday (1/2 off sale), when a pleasant lady ask "are you shopping for yourself" she had the widest eyes of surprise when I said "well, yes, of course I am". After a short pause I added "No, not really, my wife hates shopping and has little time for it". I'm was not sure if she was going to be comfortable with my "yes" answer, so I thought it best to difuse the situation.
The lady then went about her business but did offer up a few suggestions of things that might look cute on my wife.
Her taste were not mine.
Why not tell the clerk they are for you, and see if she can help you match your skin tones and such, and otherwise earn her pay?
I have lurked on this board for some time, but I think I am coming out of my self imposed exile...lol.
I'm 35 now and have been buying women's clothes for at least 15 years. It has only been within the last 6 months I got the courage to say I was shopping for myself. One day I woke up and called one of the local Victoria's Secret stores and asked them if it was ok if I brought in my breastforms and got fitted. The lady said sure, and told me to ask for her when I came in. The drive was nerve racking, but I made it. When I approached the lady in person, she measured my band size and suggested several styles and sizes to start with. It took some trial and error, but she was very helpful. I tried on probably a dozen bras. I got the look of death from other women shopping, but the associates were totally cool with it. Since then I have gone back to the same store and have kinda gotten to know the ladies. They tell me about all the sales, and what is new. It is almost a given that I am going to try on the bras before I buy.
I recently went to a smaller store that sells club wear, corset, and just generally sexy clothes. I went in and when the lady asked if I needed help I just said I wasn't sure of my size, and might need some help. Once again, no judgement, and she was a great help. She even helped me get in and out of a few corsets, lacing and unlacing them while I tried them on.
I am still a little gun shy about going to stores in a mall and buying dresses or tops, but I hope to do it soon.
It's funny how you make the courage to go to a Victoria Secret that for me is almost the most difficult place to go ever. And quite the opposite I don't struggle at all on going to the mall and doing general shopping for me, as you kinda blend more easily in the rows and rows of clothes, then go to the till and that it as the cashier will never care less what are you buying. Were Victoria Secret is all eyes over you, and you get this personalized attention.Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix1105
Just a comment as how different is the perception of "Danger" on each one.
'fess up
'Yes, it is for me. What do you think of this? I really like prints like this.'
After all, what is the worst that could happen? They say no or make some disparaging remark. We have thicker skins than that, no?
Fear just means courage exists. You see the risk and do it anyway.
<3
- MM
This reminded me of last weeks shopping trip. I went to a Victorias Secret Pink shop. One of the young Ladies asked this old man if he needed help. I told her I was looking for boy shorts. She asked what size is she?. I said they are for me and need to be large. As I was leaving it was clear she had shared this with the other Girls cause I could see them running around smiling and checking me out. Actually I realized I was enjoying it rather than being nervous. As a matter of fact I think I will go back today. hehe
I have found that if you tell the SA's that the items are for you they seem to want to help more, I have tried on a a skirt and a top before buying them. Makes for another regular customer, of course you will find not all SA's are the same some think it is disgusting but my money can be spent somewhere else.
No. Most SA's don't know or care. She probably was just making conversation.
Folks that suggest u tell them it's for u r those that like drawing attention to themselves or stirring things up!:brolleyes:
When I'm shopping I don't know or care about the SA's any more than they do about me. They r just there to do a job. And, I'm just there to buy what I need and go on my way!:straightface:
I 'fess up almost instantly.
I have had some wonderful interactions trying on clothes and a couple of makeup sessions where I literally got dragged to the chair by the demonstrators as I chose quiet times to ask them questions.
I had a similar experience as larry did at Victoria Secrets earlier this month. They had one of their wonderful 5 panties for $27 sale (it's just too good to pass up!). I went to the panty area and a SA came up to me and was asking me what I was looking for. I told her I was looking for bikinis and she was very helpful in showing me exactly where to look. Then she asked "what size does she wear?" I responded very politely (but quietly as there were many others nearby) that these panties were for me. She paused for just a split-second, and then seemed to go out of her way to help me! I was so nervous as this was the first time I've ever told a SA they were for me specifically. She was so nice! After looking around a few minutes with the other women (I love sorting through them standing besides them, makes me feel so natural), she had another customer to help out with. To my surprise, she had asked a junior SA to come over and continue helping me. She came up and touched my elbow and said she had been asked to give me some "special help" as she grinned. I smiled back, we chatted about the panties, and eventually I purchased well more than the 5 i came in to purchase! It was such a wonderful experience.
I don't think that I would have the guts to tell them that the things are for me. I do the same thing and tell them that the stuff is for my girlfriend. Maybe some day though.
Hugs,
Bree :)
Same as Bree I would say there for my wife and ask for a gift box.
I used to have contingency plans that involved saying that something was for my wife, etc. Never used them.
Then I started shopping dressed and the need for those plans went away. Of course it was for me!
One time I was waiting in a Dress Barn for my wife to try something on. I was in boy mode, but holding something for her. The salesgirl came up to me and asked "Are you shopping for yourself today?" I replied "Not today, I'm holding it for her" (pointing at the dressing room). She didn't bat an eye, just smiled and went on with her business.
Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix1105
To me, this is a fascinating contrast in human nature: perceiving the same situation in very different ways. I don't have an explanation for it, but I suspect somewhere along that line there were very different sets of experiences.Quote:
Originally Posted by fionna
I'm a big motorsports fans and every now and then you'll see a news item where a race driver is invited to an air base for a ride in a fighter plane. They'll do loops, inverted flying, barrel rolls, climb straight up from take-off, etc. The driver reciprocates by taking the pilot for a ride in a race car set up with 2 seats at a place like Daytona or Indianapolis.
Invariably you'll get the following reactions: "That was REALLY scary!! I think I'll stick to what I do.". The thing is, you'll see very similar comments from both parties. You would think that Danger IS Danger, but the reality is that it is very context and perception sensitive.
Those Hu-Mans are full of surprises...
DeeAnn
Fionna, I love the personal attention at Victoria Secret, they are always nice and couldn't care less about you being a man trying on bra's. They are there to sell you as much as they can, just like any store should do. I also have shopped at many malls and always try on the clothes that I pick out, I just do not enjoy returning things so I try them on to make sure I'll like it. I have never had a negative experience. I think it takes courage to go into any store, VS is actually a pretty easy choice since they have what we want and all they care about is the color of our money.
I can be pretty nervous about doing this. Although, just before Christmas, I finally swallowed the pride and shopped for a bra and panties for myself now that I was armed with the sizes I needed. Figured everybody was too busy with last minute shopping to pay attention to a guy wearing a football coat shopping for that type of stuff. Didn't have any run ins at all and it even took me a while to find my bra size as I shopped. To avoid further embarassment, I checked out at the self checkout so I could ring it up quickly without anybody noticing.
Flatlander_48 --- interesting insight about context.
It depends on my mood, and what I am buying.
In the mall the other day at "Love Culture", I picked out a cute knee-length moleskin skirt and a white 3/4 sleeve top.
I also saw a matching moleskin sleeved drape but wasn't sure it would go with what I had. I actually asked another passing shopper her opinion and when she asked I told her it was for me.
Then this past weekend in Target there was a cute black dress with a lace overlay in my size. Zhooop into my cart it went. But when I got to the checker I didn't say anything about it except that I wanted to keep the hanger. I am hoping to wear it out to a local night club this weekend. I'll post pictures if I can
I talk very openly about my habit from time to time. Other times I am very closed lipped...
But my shopping is getting more open
I went into a Girdle Shop in Boston and said I was looking for something for my wife.
Well after I said she was a 38B they said "if it's for you don't be shy, lots of men come in here"
They were very friendly and measured me, which was a little embarrassing but, I ended up getting something that fit right.
I always shop in male mode, I used to be so petrified when i first started shopping but now a days i just go in with full confidence (it may be an act but feels real) try to shop as if i am truly and objectively buying for someone else, pay whilst in all business mode and leave casually, helps me keep the nerves at bay. when i am out shopping with the wife it is absolutely perfect :)
the last few bras and panties and a waist cincher I bought at walmart with my wife ....If someone is near where we are looking I just say honey do you like this one...hehehehehehe i need to bite the bullet and be brave like some of you on here. Its such a small town atmosphere where i live to many people know who everyone is and im not out yet so im a chicken still.
Trisha,
Just go for it, I asked for a colour check on my skin in Boots, the beautician sat me down and said she would just put a couple small tester patches on my skin and ended up doing the whole of the left side of my face, yes I did get some funny looks from customers !
I went into a few of my local charity shops last Saturday and finally had the courage to by this cute little purple cardigan with flared cuffs for £3.00. I'm wearing it right now. It's a Marks & Spencers brand too. Unfortunately I ran out of money at the next charity shop for this lovely cool tiny black jacket with zips on the shoulder which would have went perfect with my little black skirts, unfortunately it's now gone when I went back a few days later.
I have shopped in Peacocks before and bought a lovely dressing gown, a bra, croptop and strapless bras and a couple of t-shirts. I ended up giving the gown away though as it was quite big and was worried in case anyone found it. But I ordered a lighter satin one now which will be much easier to store. I do most of my shopping online now, but it is more difficult getting the sizes right. Hopefully in time I will memorise the correct sizes of all clothing items.
I so wish I had the confidence to just walk into a store, and ask to try some dresses on and even ask for assistance without anyone judging me. Even better to walk the streets at anytime anywhere wearing my female clothes. Unfortunately I feel that women would assume that I'm some sort of creep, because as a middle-aged guy with cleft palate, I feel I'm not that attractive looking to them anyway. Maybe it's partially why I feel the need to dress-up.