Is your marriage better or worse because of your crossdressing?

If your wife/partner knows about your dressing, do you believe that your marriage/relationship is better or worse because of it? This isn't a question about whether she accepts your dressing or not - just whether your relationship is better or worse.

Of course, we're not necessarily representative of the crossdressing population as a whole, but I have two questions for you.

Q1. Is your marriage/relationship:

1. Much better
2. A little better
3. About the same
4. A little worse
5. Much worse / we split up because of it

Q2. Did you tell her on your on terms or did she find out herself?


#Edit - see post 91 for a summary of responses.

I'm a 2, and I told my wife on my own terms.

My marriage IS because of my cross dressing. I'll spare you the details but I was dressed the first time I met my future wife.
Jon

Q1 Our Marriage is definitely much better for the crossdressing. We can share so much more and have plenty of things we talk about that we did not really touch on before.

Q2 we discovered the fun side of crossdressing together during playtime one evening. Nuff said LoL

About the same, we're still married and see one another but haven't lived together in 3 years.
Told her on my terms

Although we are in a DADT situation and she really hates my CD activity, I can honestly say that our marriage is better because I no longer hide it from her.
Occasionally, I will make sure that she sees me dressed commenting that I look pretty good for being a 60 year old man.
But, she holds fast to her precious hate and denial.
Other than that, we are very close.

Well I hate to be a downer but I got #5, have also had this used against me a number of times.

Initially it was between a #3 and #4 early on in our marriage. But, then after considerable thought and reflection on her part with no involvement from me she came to accept it and then offered to be supportive of it. After that our relationship became #1 and even better than a #1. She accepts me unconditionally!

And I told her on my own terms before marriage.

It's a 5 for me and I told her wish I hadn't now

I don't know whether my relationship is worse, the same or better. Crossdressing has been a part of our lives from month 8, 20+ years ago to today. So it is all we have ever known.
I told her because after a previous failed relationship, I knew this part of me wasn't going away and hiding it was not an option. She didn't go running and screaming for the hills after finding out her 'manly' construction worker likes to wear feminine attire. So I guess it was ment to be.

We've been married 47 years. It's a relationship that works on a number of levels, and my CD is just part of all of that. Husband, lover, partner, best friend and girl friend are all part of the package. So ... I guess 1, and I told her early on.

I just wish others could be as fortunate.

If you asked me I would like to think it is 'a little better.' If you asked my wife the best answer I could hope for is 'about the same' but she might just as easily say 'a little worse.' Crossdressing adds a lot of complications to a marriage.

About a 4 for me.🌺

Between a 3 and a 4. I told her on my terms, but she really doesn't like it.

Not a category for me. together for 25 years, she's known forever, we have a great relationship, and it's just part of it; it just is.

Mine is a 1 and I told her on my terms

It's a 5 for me but I'm the one who told her, just wished I'd shared this with her before marriage so she could have at least had the chance to back out.

For me question 1 I'm a 4.
And I did tell her before marriage but I was not where I am now when we got married.
My dressing developed over the years to a point that even surprises me

I would have to say a 1. However that did not come without a huge crisis that brought us to the precipice. Having come through on the other side I'd have to say we've learned to respect each others' needs and boundaries and that has made the marriage stronger. She has known about me since before we were married, but it came to a head again much later, which launched the crisis. It's important though to respect each others' boundaries.

Short answers:

Q1: 2) a little better
Q2: I told her on my own terms.

Long answer:
We recently celebrated our 15th anniversary. I came out to my wife about a year and a half into marriage, before we decided to have kids. We had always had a great relationship, many similar interests, lots of inside jokes, etc., but the reveal put a big strain on our relationship. I would say it was a 5 (much worse) for the first month or so, then a 4 (a little worse) for about a year, but for many years now we've been in the "a little better" zone. I think my wife would agree. I imagine all things considered, she'd probably rather that I wasn't a crossdresser, but she has mentioned that she feels even closer to me now that she is one of the few who knows my closely-guarded secret.

Q1 - is a 1. We get to explore what we both like and indulge in our desires without having to explain the why's. Like watching the red carpet shows or E news etc etc. Without having to put up with the eye rolling or the complaining that is stereotypical of manly men. But I can also go out and chop would, dig a fire pit, build a concrete walk way and it's perfectly normal. Best of both worlds.

Q2 - I told her on my own term. Literally within the first ten minutes of us seeing each other in person.

Question 1 is 1

Told her on my terms before marriage

Mine is a 4 and I told her on my terms, when my wife found a nightie, she wishes I hadn't told her.
It was a relief to unburden myself but at a cost of a more difficult relationship at present.

My SO and I agreed we are at a 2.

I don't think I can really answer this question. My wife knew about my CD'ing before we got married so its always been a fact of life for us. She has said she appreciates my other side and that it gives me a gentleness she finds appealing.

It also helps me understand why she needs yet another pair of shoes. :)

For me I'd definitely say much better and Q2, on my own terms.

Anyone hear the old joke 'when did you start crossdressing? When my wife found a bra and panties in my truck! 🤕

Seriously though, she thought I was having an affair (faint perfume, suspicious business trips). She was actually ecstatic when I came out!