I want the CD's w/ partners to think about this, what IF?

Okay, similar posts have been made. Let me first say, I fully support and even like crossdressers. However, the questions I am about to raise are directed to CD's who have not come out to their wives or who don't understand why everyone doesn't just accept and understand them or who have come out to their wives and are frustrated they don't accept it or get it. So, the question I raise (and ponder it seriously and honestly) what if you came home and your wife confessed (or partner) that she likes to wear diapers and sometimes act like a baby?

She's always liked it and has been doing it for a long time. She's never cheated on you. Being a baby, sometimes, is just a part of who she is. She's not hurting anyone.

How would you feel? How might you react? Would you truly be able to accept her? Would you think it weird? Would it repulse you?

I know for myself and I'm a pretty tolerant person, that I could not accept a partner who wanted to dress and act like a baby. I might even feel a bit of repulsion at it. It would make me call into question everything I thought I knew about them. I wouldn't even like it if they compromised and did it "in the closet" and not in front of me.

So, responses, thoughts?
Kew

http://www.dpf.com/hotstuff.html

http://www.diaperconnection.com/cont...fantilism.html

http://www.dailydiapers.com/adultbab...ealth_Problems

http://www.icq.com/groups/view_msg.p...9&gid=12033518

I think love is one thing that makes acceptance easier,if you truly love someone then you can go with the occasional foray into their dream world. Gee anyone see the stroller with P235.80/16's Goodyear's +?

The diaper/baby thing isn't for me, but obviously there are people out there who dig it. I agree with the point of this thread, people have the right to choose their partners and it's not fair to keep something like the fact that you're a crossdresser a secret. It's a different kind of cheating, in my opinion. And I wouldn't blame any SO that bailed on their partner for basically lying to them and basing a relationship on false premises.

Now Joy, you're not really trying here. Seriously, you both have kids, friends and family. How would you feel if she wanted to do her gardening in a diaper with a pacifier around her neck? You wouldn't care? You'd say, well I love her and that's it!?
Kew

Wearing diapers and sucking on pacifiers as an adult I would call fetishistic... I perfer not to think of myself as having a fetish, thanks.

If this is some kind of joke I apologise...

M

This wouldn't bother me unless she needed to be changed.

She'd be old enough to handle that herself, methinks.

Well if she can accept my dressing, why wouldn't I accept her desires?

Of course, the point you are trying to make is about secrets in a marriage ( or LTR). Any secrets held from one partner are unhealthy. When (NOT if) the other partner discovers you've been concealing something, they will naturally wonder what OTHER secrets you've got lying around like unexploded mines.

My question though is:

If your subject is about secretiveness, why the 4 links to adult infantilism sites? One would be sufficient, if any were actually needed for this discussion.

Wow there are so many what if's. What if your wife suddenly decided XYZ was her newfound pleasure. Moreover, that was she needed to be beaten to enjoy sex. I know that I would not accept that easily as it is not in my nature to do that, but there are those women that want that. You know the gamut of human sexual fetishes is a wide, wide body and encompasses every aspect of our emotions. Love, hate, fear, violence, tenderness, needs and wants. I had the greatest challenge in my life as I wrote about almost every aspect of sexuality and included most of them in my novel. What about the person that is in an ANR? Too weird for some and perfectly acceptable for others. Infantilism practitioners have mates that are tolerant of their fetish just as some of us have wives that tolerate us crossdressers. Then still others live in the closet and could only hope for some acceptance.

The year of research have taught me that the different strokes for different folks is a profound statement and not just the lines of a song. Somnophilia, Necrophilia, Get the picture.

BTW crossdressing and infantilism share several of the same major attractions. "That seemed to be three major reasons again, just like his dressing. Relaxation, arousal with childhood objects, and love of discipline."

Tiffany

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Originally Posted by SexyMichelle

Wearing diapers and sucking on pacifiers as an adult I would call fetishistic... I perfer not to think of myself as having a fetish, thanks.

If this is some kind of joke I apologise...

M

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Joke? What makes you think it's a joke? It isn't! There are ppl who enjoy this.

Some of your behaviors maybe considered fetishistic even if you prefer you not be thought of that way.

Again, I'm trying to get you all to step outside yourselves. Think truly what a partner might feel.

Try again Michelle.
Kew

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Originally Posted by Jodie-Lynn

Well if she can accept my dressing, why wouldn't I accept her desires?

Of course, the point you are trying to make is about secrets in a marriage ( or LTR). Any secrets held from one partner are unhealthy. When (NOT if) the other partner discovers you've been concealing something, they will naturally wonder what OTHER secrets you've got lying around like unexploded mines.

My question though is:

If your subject is about secretiveness, why the 4 links to adult infantilism sites? One would be sufficient, if any were actually needed for this discussion.

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Oh dear dear me!! It's not at all about secretiveness. It's more about an exercise in empathy.

As for four links, just trying to give ppl some resources to learn about it, think about it. And to know, it's not just for a couple of ppl on the planet, there's a whole community.
Kew

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Originally Posted by KewTnCurvy GG

Oh dear dear me!! It's not at all about secretiveness. It's more about an exercise in empathy.

As for four links, just trying to give ppl some resources to learn about it, think about it. And to know, it's not just for a couple of ppl on the planet, there's a whole community.
Kew

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As there are groups for every fetish imaginable, body mutilation, amputees, etc. A fetish can be something as simple as needing to be with a redhead to be satisfied to needing a dungon in the basement.

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Originally Posted by Tiffany 1953

As there are groups for every fetish imaginable, body mutilation, amputees, etc. A fetish can be something as simple as needing to be with a redhead to be satisfied to needing a dungon in the basement.

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Yes, I'm aware of that Tiffany. Again, this is an exercise in EMPATHY for those who are willing to participate. I thought perhaps some CD's may get a sense of what their partners might go through upon discovering their CD partner's CD'ing.
Kew

I understand what you are doing here Kew I just don't know how to put it. I can tell you that for years WE have been in pain over my gender issues and myself I have a deep guilt over it. I now accept myself I'm trying not to hurt her over it. :o

I kind of have an open mind. If that's her thing then that's her thing. As human's we are the sum of our experiences; as such the person you love is the sum of their experience, fears, preferences and desires.

I've had partners that have liked odd things, things I've kind of gone 'Oh my God!' to in my head, but I've accepted them. Someone once left me because they felt degraded by confessing what they really wanted me to do for them. I thought that was very, very sad... They never felt I could accept them, and they never felt themselves worthy of expecting me to try.

I still feel sad for them even now.

Well Kew that's an interesting thought, and throws some good light on SO reactions - so thanks.

For my own part I've always tried to put up with my partner's ( many ) eccentricities, and have even tried to be supportive of them. And yes, they have included eccentricities of dress which have been socially embarrassing at times.

VERY interestingly for the point you're making, the only time I get really upset is when they start taking over our lives. She started doing group meditation away from home for five nights a week, which I thought was a bit over the top and said so. She told me I was a control freak, and then went on a two week residential as well. Probably sounds invertedly familiar to many GGs out there.

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Originally Posted by KewTnCurvy GG

I thought perhaps some CD's may get a sense of what their partners might go through upon discovering their CD partner's CD'ing.
Kew

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I can understand the baby thing as a fetish and agree with some difficulty in accepting it. But, I can not compare infantilism and CDing.

After all, I did not object, get upset, call her a lier, tell her family or file for divorce because my wife wore pants, slacks, suits, shorts, flats or sneekers every day, including wearing some of my clothes and shoes. Being a "typical" modern woman, she wanted to be "comfortable" in her dressing and only wore a skirt or dress to weddings or funerals.

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Originally Posted by Brianna Lovely

But, I can not compare infantilism and CDing.

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Why?
This is not a theoretical discussion.
It's an exercise in empathy.
Take a leap of faith and truly think about how it might feel to find out such a thing.
Kew
*feels like she's repeating herself*

I wonder if by joking and making comparisons the CD,s are avoiding the issue (of empathy) as many probably have alot guilt regarding their SO's reactions when they first found out.

I don't feel you have a valid comparison.

Let's level the playing field and assume me and nearly all men wear diapers and suck on pacifier, then perhaps sure, it wouldn't be an issue for me.

Women dress like men every day wearing pants, shorts, shirts, and jackets, just about anything they like. Can anyone list one clothing item that is strickly a mans item that would taboo for a women to wear.

I could rant on this. Women: because it's different when you do it.

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Originally Posted by KewTnCurvy GG

... the questions I am about to raise are directed to CD's who have not come out to their wives or who don't understand why everyone doesn't just accept and understand them

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Why is there an expectation (from SO's & GG's) that you have to come out?

Unless you are looking for acceptance or participation in your dressing up from your SO, why do you need to tell them about it? I can see if your dressing starts taking over your life it would be wise to tell, but at the end of the day its up to the Cross Dresser!

Relationships range from those who share every detail of their lives with each other, to those who live almost separate lives.

Dressing up is not the same as having an affair and the feelings of being betrayed when this secret is discovered or 'confessed' is a rather overplayed hand.

So if you discover your SO was into infantilism, it will of course affect how view them and may adversely affect your desire or attraction to them, but would not be an excuse to walk out on them then and there. Being asked to participate in it would be tricky, maybe you would agree out of love, but if it grosses you out, you would find your love waning.

The above is just a small snap shot of why people keep certain bits secret from each other or if discovered don't mention it again!

Wouldn't like it Kew, especially if I had to change the diapers. I know when my kids were babies, I changed them but sometimes they had really bad ones and I told my wife: hey this one is for you. Guys are such wimps that way anyway. Seriously though, I get your point and I would not like it if my wife wanted to act like a baby. What would I say to people? Hey, she's big for her age--get real! My wife never accepted my CDing and I never really expected her to. I always felt: How would I feel if I were the woman and my husband accounced he wanted to dress and act like a woman? I married a man and that's what I expected, not some fruitcake. Your point is well taken with me and basically that's how I've always felt. I know it may sound somewhat hypocrytical based on who I am, but if I were my wife, I wouldn't like it either. Ericka

[QUOTE=noname;524903]

[Women dress like men every day wearing pants, shorts, shirts, and jackets, just about anything they like. Can anyone list one clothing item that is strickly a mans item that would taboo for a women to wear.]


It isn't just the clothes we dress in trousers with girly tops and shoes,we wear other items sometimes because they are more practical. We are not trying to pass as men we dont have a need to do it to make us feel more masculine. This is the main difference.

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Originally Posted by cath

It isn't just the clothes we dress in trousers with girly tops and shoes,we wear other items sometimes because they are more practical. We are not trying to pass as men we dont have a need to do it to make us feel more masculine. This is the main difference.

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Gee, looks like we are in the same boat. I don't try to pass. I mostly wear womens jeans and cap sleave shirt. Not exactly too girly now is it? Guess people don't like it when I call it like it is.

Edit ** adding on **

Maybe I'm just feeling moody tonight so forgive me. So please do tell, why do I get stares when I'm dressed in all guy clothes and my nails are done? Or I'm wearing just a slightly not so manly shirt? Sorry I find your post very upsetting. I feel it validates my claim of hypocrity of, it's different when you do it. Well, it's not, it's called a double standard.

Not quite sure how to put this, but I'll give it a go.

I guess it comes down to what each of us is willing to accept whatever our gender, and lifestyle/fetish. If you read through some of the threads on this forum you will find that CD's are really no more tolerant and accepting than the general public at large, (with the exception of CD'ing).

In the example you put forward, I would hope that many of us would at least be willing to inform ourselves about something of this nature that our SO/wife enjoyed/needed/practiced, before making any serious decisions.

Having said that acceptance is not something rational that we wholly control. We are conditioned by our life experience. I could no more accept behaviour in my SO that I find repulsive or abhorrant, than I would accept her being an axe murderer. Neither would I expect my partner to accept me as a CD if it was something that disgusted her.

If such an issue comes up in a relationship the best thing to do in my opinion is to talk about it and decide if there is room for living with the situation without detracting from the relationship. If there is, then open communcation between the two parties about how to manage the "problem". If it is something that either party can't stand, then perhaps it is best to go seperate ways.

I think this is why it is best to get these "major" issues in the open before one goes to far and invests too much in the relationship.

Like most interaction on a personal level it ultimately depends on the individuals.

Perhaps not a popular view, but there are my :2c:

Susan

[QUOTE=noname;524907][Gee, looks like we are in the same boat. I don't try to pass. I mostly wear womens jeans and cap sleave shirt. Not exactly too girly now is it? Guess people don't like it when I call it like it is.][/QUOTE

Then thats fine but I and many other GG's are dealing with the issues of our partners wanting to pass as female and not fully understanding the impact on the emotions we go through.
Dont get me wrong I am fine with the dressing if it could only stay dressing at home.

[SIZE="3"]Diapers and dressing are not the same, or are they, ask a lot or seniors that could not do with out the "NEED"for their DEPENDS[/SIZE]