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Do you find it hard to hide your c/d from friends / family ( thats if they dont already know ) !! :o do you wish sometimes you could just burst out and tell people that you c/d ??would it feel like a "weight off your shoulders if you did" ?? :rolleyes:
And do you think it would make it easier for you in your life , if those people that were important to you ( either family/friends ) knew about your "dressing" +?
The people who are most important to me know already and more are finding out everyday. I make very little effort to hide the fact that I am transgendered. I go to work everyday wearing women's jeans, earrings in my pierced ears, and nail polish (mostly reds and pinks). I'm just too old to play games any longer :eek:. But before I came to the realization that I'm am who I am, yes, the closet was lonely and the fear unbearable. Good question, Angie.
I agree with Holly. I'm just getting too old to play these games. I don't go around wearing a sign and shouting to everyone who I am, but I don't attempt to conceal it any more either. If anyone asks, I will tell them if they are that interested.:happy:
I'd say most of us are pretty good at hiding it, Angie, especially the older girls. After all, we've had lots of practice. :)
If I have a strong urge to tell someone, I do. But it's not something I want to share with everyone, only people I trust. OTOH, I'm not overly worried about being read by strangers, as long as they're not violent or abusive.
:hugs:
Robin
I would love to tell everyone. Unfortunately I have a little higher public profile at times and it could hurt not only me but many others because of how the general population judges us.
Hiding is not good for anyone.
I have a lot of privacy, so hiding my clothes and other stuff isn't too bad.
But my mother had noticed that I was wearing makeup (which I thought was subtle). Noticed with a negative tone. She doesn't like the fact that I am growing my hair, or that my finger nails are longer sometimes.
I would like more freedom.
Trouble is I know I would get lectured all the time about being a boy, I MUST DO CERTAIN THINGS IN LIFE.
I am almost at a point of not caring even what my family think any more.
Yes, it would be easier if people knew.
Maybe you find this strange, but I find it easier to talk to strangers than to family.
Why most cd's keep it a secret is the fear of disassociation from those that are closet to them.
I was brought up to be honest, but being secretive is painful in a way.
I would also love to be able to tell everyone, especially at the office. I work with a lot of women and I could be free to ask them questions, get tips and make comments and they could understand why.
The other day my Team Leader, a woman, was commenting how she loves bow ties and she would have liked to have gone to her prom in a tuxedo. I commented that I would have liked to have gone to mine in a gown. She laughed thinking I was joking, I wasn't, but that's not how I'm seen. So if they knew then my comments would be understood and possibly discussed further. But that's not to be. My SO works a few floors down and she would be terribly embarassed if it ever got out.
Bonnie
Angie, I wish I was like Holly and Sal, I am old enough to be my own person and to heck with everyone, but I hide. Not in my own place, but I am moving in 3 weeks, my family will be moving me...I am boxing and securely taping all boxes, and doing a mini purge. Why...because I don't want to have my family's disapproval.
Ithink some of the family would be OK with it And some of my friends but not
everyone :hugs:
Angie
Nothing wrong with erring on the side of caution Jenni. You should see the security I used to go though when I WAS hiding stuff. NSA had nothing on me for sure.:happy:Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenni Y
I too am too old for the games any longer.
The following saying was on the wall at my grandmother's house. I wish I had payed more attention to it as I was growing up. "We get too soon old, and too late smart."
Stephenie
I hid all my life. The "world" said it was wrong so I had guilt and shame. It was not until I lost my wife of 30 years that I said the hell with it and started searching. That's how I came upon this site. What an eye opener!
Today I'm careful, but I believe I am true to myself. My hair is long, so are my nails that I use a lite pink polish on, hoop earrings in pierced ears, perfume, mascara and rings and a bracelet at all times even when I have to play Charlie at work.
Some friends know and are O.K. with it, but have not come out at work. I love what I do and don't want to put that in jeopardy.
Outside of work it's all womans clothes, usually jeans and a blouse. Last year I was on a pink cloud and dove in head first. Went passed my comfort zone and got scared. Now I'm taking it slowly, though I am getting a little bolder. A group of us from work went to see "Grindhouse" a while back, and I was in my usual attire, but added some eye shadow as I normally do when not at work. They had to notice but not a thing was said, at least in front of me.
Could get interesting in a couple of weeks. We are probably going to have a company get together to welcome the summer season. Swimming, bbq, ect. My internal debate is whether I show my shaved legs or not by wearing shorts. I an coming to the conclusion to say the hell with it and wear the shorts. Long pants might raise more questions then bare legs.
Love and xxxx, Lily
My Wife has known about my x-dressing almost imediately after we got married, but she was the only one to know for more than 35 years...
However, since I started to accept my transgender nature much better I have told a few people that really count for me. That has been a great relief for me.
More recently I told my own daughter who told her brother... That too has been quite positive.
There are still a few friends I would like to tell about my x-dressing but I haven't had the opportunity and I don't feel it would be a right thing to do just to dump it on their shoulders inadvertently.
I almost did come out to my best friend, I've known him for about 50 years... He and his wife rang the bell at our appartment while I was alone at home "en femme". I answered the intercom and almost said come right up. Instead I said "Come up, I'm just out of the shower and need to get dressed, the door is open..." Then I took off my "femme" clothes and quickly put on my drab clothes, whiping out the lipstick gloss as neatly as I could... Fortunately I wasn't fully made up.
Now I think that I should have taken the opportunity to do a coming out to my friend and his wife, especialy since his wife is extremely tolerant and would certainly have accepted me as a x-dresser.
One thing that made me react as I did is that my wife resents that I come out to our friends...
But I think that I will have to let that friend know. I have the impression of cheating on him, especially now that I have accepted to be who I am.
:hugs:
Eugenie
holly is right , well in the end thats what i did , so i did lose a few friends and family but at least i am free to be me the closet was lonely and the fear unbearable. for me too
i told my family about my cross dressing when i was 20 i am 31 now it was hard for my family to accept it then i educate them i live in the deep south of united states i work in private security my boss knows i cross dress he says what you do on your off time is your business i have to be in male drag besides wearing panties at work i will tell anybody if they ask about my life stly i do not care what people thinks yes it did left a burden when i come out of the closet and got this attiude yes i have been threaten verbal and physical from different organization about my life stlye but i deal with people that do not play nice
I really only have one person to deal with, an elderly parent. It gets a little tricky getting all dolled up in the few hours a week I have alone, but I would never consider outing myself. It's my issue to deal with, and I'd stop before I'd burden anyone else with it. I'm kind of a "recreational" crossdresser, so it's not like I'm denying my true self or something - I know it's different for others.
I'm just Lisa... Even to my company customers. I found it impossible to lie about it.
I can imagin for some of you its extremley hard to tell people, and wishing you could !! its not as if its something that can just crop up in a "everyday" convo :(
i know from my SO keeping it a secret from me was hard going for him . he said he hated not been able to tell me, but for certain reasons it wasnt really a good idea @ that point !! :(
to NOT tell those I loved (with Carin's OK of course). Some received the news very well (actually most) and one not so good, my sister. She is *accepting* she says but will also say I *dumped* the information on her. For me and I believe for Carin *coming out* hasbeen very liberating and at the end of the day you sure do know who your real friends are.
Louise.
could make it easier or harder - you might find new friends or lose some old ones. i make very little secret of it now amongst the GGs at work, family, neighbours and close friends - a little more defensive but what the heck im too old to care. i carry a bag, varnish my nails, wear jewellery, what would they think anyway?
mitch
[SIZE="3"]Yes I wish I could, but then I respect that it would just totally freak some people out and that is not cool either.[/SIZE]
If word got out on me it would spread like wild fire. So I live at home as a girl and put up with this agonizing frustation.
I am of the same outlook as Eva Diva as respects total privacy. No one else other than you girls on this forum (and God) knows of my cding and I am comfortable with that. Outing myself to family and friends would serve no advantage and cause only massive hurt, confusion and misunderstanding. Most importantly, I don't wish to hurt my dear wife of 39 years by revealing something I truly started and acknowledged to myself only two years ago.
There have been enough clues over the past several years from her when we see TV or written material regarding cding.
At this point, my total privacy brings no frustration and I have no desire to share this with anyone else than right here.
Love,
Gretchen
I live in the US and my family (except for my wife) live in the UK. Also over here, her family is very small as she doesn't have her parents anymore and her aunties and uncles etc live thousands of miles away.
Telling my family in the UK serves no purpose or benefit for either of us as I only see them for two weeks once a year. Marla's family here that would be impacted are her son and her sister. Her sister already knows and is so totally cool about it all that she even wants to come out with us clubbing when I'm en femme. :eek: I know! ..... me en femme, going out dancing with my wife and her sister - all girls together. I'll let you know what happens, if and when it happens. :D
Marla's son is different. Telling him (assuming he's ok with it all) would dramatically improve my opportunity to dress at home and there would be no more secret sneeking out of the house on the weekends. Should we tell him? Probably. It's just we are waiting for the right moment to "let the cat out of the bag" :worried:
Good question Angie... As I am still in the closet, (which has no fear for me) I have no intention of going out En-femme.. but Alexis keeps buying me clothes so I need a bigger closet lol....