What do you want to say to the world?

Hello sisters,

A friend of mine is the editor of an alternative monthly newpaper in Portland, Maine. Yesterday I told him my story of recently discovering I am transgendered and asked if he would be interested in an article about my experience, and he said yes...for the very next issue. So I get to write an article, under my femme name, about being TG and about crossdressing which will be read by thousands of regular folk in my region.

It's a rare chance to educate people about who we are, and to advocate for understanding and acceptance. So I wanted to ask, especially because I'm still such a newbie myself, what should I tell them? If you could get one message through to the world at large about crossdressing and/or being transgendered, what would it be?

Please, won't you share your thoughts with me? What is the one thing you most urgently want to tell the world?

Thanks,

Lisa

I would say to them. Accept everyone for what they are. Keep to yourself and worry about yourself, and don't put your lifestyle into mines. I don't care what you do, therefore, dont' care what I do. I will accept you for what you are and accept me for what I am. Plus, clothing does not represents whether I am a man or female, it's just clothing.

I can say more but I won't.

Hi Lisa, I would emphasize that there are millions of transgenedered people out there. Both in this country and all over the world. Maybe you could point out that it's not a "perversion" but that this seems to run in families and it's probably somehow neurological and hormonal in nature. You could mention that we are all perfectly happy to be this way. I mean,some people think we're "lonely" and "sad" and we'll all be "unhappy when we get old and all by ourselves".


Samantha

That we are not what you see in the media. we are not buffoons who use giant water balloons to make outrageous breasts nor are we all desperate psycho killers or bank robbers. We are not all gay. We definitely are not child molesters. We are husbands and lovers, doctors, firefighters, teachers, scientists, politicians, truck drivers, store clerks and any other profession there is. We laugh, we cry, we fall, we get up again. We have feelings. We care for our families, our neighbors and our communities. We are not ogres, we are people just like you

But, Lisa, u must say that WITHOUT using the word "pervert". Or, even any word(s) that imply it!:doh:

Good luck with that!:brolleyes:

Congrats on helping EVERYONE here!:thumbsup:

Some people consider that CDing is an addiction and liken it to smoking sine it is so common. Unlike smaking CDing is part of the personality and may lie dormant for years but will emerge in some form or other eventually and cannot be "got over" like the external addictions. A CDer can never reach the situation of being "one dress away from relapse". Urge people to look to their own addictions.

It's important to try to communicate how common crossdressing is, but because of the stigma that goes with it, most try to keep it to themselves.

I would ask for empathy. Try to relate to something in you that isn't necessarily common, or to some skeleton in your closet. Then use that understanding of yourself to try and relate to the millions of crossdressers of the world.

Kathleen Ann

....one idea is that the general public meets and comes into contact with TG/CD's on a daily basis and doesn't even know it. The cab driver, the airline pilot, the doctor, the mechanic, the bus driver, the guy at the grocery checkout, the plumber that just fixed your water line.

TG/Cd's lead normal lives just like everyone else, we are just born a bit different but overall nice and decent people. We don't chose to do this or be TG/CD's, its born within us.

Have a great interview, and post the story link when its published, good luck.

Edit: I skipped the posts and responded first, guess we have like minds here now that I've read them:thumbsup:

Love me.

You don't have to understand me or agree with me...just love me. My life is hard enough as it is.

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

That we are not what you see in the media. we are not buffoons who use giant water balloons to make outrageous breasts nor are we all desperate psycho killers or bank robbers. We are not all gay. We definitely are not child molesters. We are husbands and lovers, doctors, firefighters, teachers, scientists, politicians, truck drivers, store clerks and any other profession there is. We laugh, we cry, we fall, we get up again. We have feelings. We care for our families, our neighbors and our communities. We are not ogres, we are people just like you

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Perfect.

One more thing I would mention is that of all the groups of people in this entire world, we as TG/CDer's are absolutely the most misunderstood group of any by society.

Why would a man want to dress as a woman most wonder about us, and its a very legitimate question for them to ask. The answer however isn't as simple as we'd like it to be, most however that I've spoken to believe its an inborn part of us and to different degrees in each individual. What does one really know about ones own identity when they started cd'ing at 4-7 years of age? Transexual male to females have been shown in MRI scans to have a brain more similar to a females compared to the average heterosexual male, is that a choice? I think not.

The urges an average crossdresser will have to dress can be compared to someone trying to stop smoking, actually the smoking cessation would be mild to most cd'ers compared to stopping the crossdressing altogether when the two are compared. The more people come into contact and understand cd'ers, the less fear they will have of them, as was said we're pretty decent people overall.

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Originally Posted by Jess_cd32

One more thing I would mention is that of all the groups of people in this entire world, we as TG/CDer's are absolutely the most misunderstood group of any by society.

Why would a man want to dress as a woman most wonder about us, and its a very legitimate question for them to ask. The answer however isn't as simple as we'd like it to be, most however that I've spoken to believe its an inborn part of us and to different degrees in each individual. What does one really know about ones own identity when they started cd'ing at 4-7 years of age? Transexual male to females have been shown in MRI scans to have a brain more similar to a females compared to the average heterosexual male, is that a choice? I think not.

The urges an average crossdresser will have to dress can be compared to someone trying to stop smoking, actually the smoking cessation would be mild to most cd'ers compared to stopping the crossdressing altogether when the two are compared. The more people come into contact and understand cd'ers, the less fear they will have of them, as was said we're pretty decent people overall.

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I don't think that comparing crossdressing to smoking is a wise idea since smoking is something that a person decided to start doing, CDing goes much further into a persons make up of who they are.

Smoking is not viewed very favorably in todays society so comparing the two might give people the impression you can stop through will power or a cessation program. Just my thoughts.

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Originally Posted by Prissy Linda

I don't think that comparing crossdressing to smoking is a wise idea since smoking is something that a person decided to start doing, CDing goes much further into a persons make up of who they are.

Smoking is not viewed very favorably in todays society so comparing the two might give people the impression you can stop through will power or a cessation program. Just my thoughts.

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Point taken, but I'm also a believer that some of us are also predisposed to smoking, drinking and some using drugs. If comparing smoking cessation to cd'ers (urges to dress) gives a wrong impression to most then I agree wholeheartedly with you.

What then would you use as a comparison to enlighten the public of how powerfull these urges are to us? That was my first thought as a smoker myself, I could relate to it, but you have a good point.

As others have already said, I would like the readers to realize that CDs and other trans-gendered people are just like anyone else. There are extremes (I really don't know what those are), but most of us fit on a nicely rounded bell-curve of typical human beings. We are not any more nor any less perverse than any other group of people. We enjoy a behavior/lifestyle that many people seem to regard as an aberration, but it is nothing of the kind. And the proclivity for crossdressing is practically as old as human beings themselves.

Maybe this sounds a little strange, but I'd want to say "It's natural to feel wary of things you don't understand. What's important is that you stay willing to understand."

How do you describe an intense desire to understand how a woman feels, or how she preceives the her world,How does Her style and garments feel?
As I understand My trying to bridge that gap is a poor approximation of the wonders of the female experience. My trying female garments, cosmetics,and accessories to get a hint of what it means to edge a little closer to their world is akin to trying to explain the color blue to a blind person.
this curiosity,and the feeling that I am missing something that is special and precious since i was very young results in trying to capture the essence of the feminine in copying as much as i am able, unfortunately with disappointing results staring back at me from the mirror.
many of the Gurls on this forum do a wonderful job of capturing the essence of the feminine, and Honor the subject of our admiration.:thumbsup:

Leave me alone. Respect my privacy, uh,,, unless you are a tall single gg, looking for a mate!

Live, and let live. Life is too short to waste on hate.

There's no need to fear us and no reason to ridicule us.

Dispel the myths! Draw a distinction between hetero CDers, drag queens, and full TS's. And as trite as it is for us, the rest of the world still needs to hear the "why is it OK for women to wear pants" argument.

Man, there's so much ground to cover... is it OK for you to take over the whole magazine, or divide it into chapters across multiple issues?

Guys (or gals if you prefer), bear in mind that this isn't really "telling the world". As we discussed with the Milwaukee paper, the target audience of an alternative paper is already predisposed in favor of the nonstandard, so it's not like this is our opportunity to convince Joe Sixpack that his churchgoing next door neighbor that he loves to go to the football game with is also your typical crossdresser.

Still, any exposure (wait, that's a totally different kink) helps.

ralph

For myself, dressing is as much a part of me as eating. some times you can cut back or eat a lot less per meal but eventually you just gotta have what it takes to get a belly full.
I have been a crossdresser for over 50 years now and it truely is a part of me that I have never been able to give up or quit for more than a few months at a time. I gave up giving up several years ago, now I just go with it as it comes up and I am able to fullfil my desire to dress as a woman. I also believe that there are just as many differant reasons for someone's desire to crossdress as there are crossdressers. I appreciate what you are trying to do and wish you the very best of luck in your attempt to do it.

I think the best way to tell someone about crossdressers to tell about yourself. Telling the story in the first person has a more compelling story. Especially explaining how you first started. How you discovered yourself. Then lead into how you found others from different walks of life. Explain the closet fear of discovery and how you found a way past that. Explain your experiences out in public.

The best way to educate people about crossdressers is to educate them first about you. Show them you are the guy next door. The guy at the football, basketball or baseball game. Our acceptance is best described by the fact that we are just other guys except we wear women's clothes.

Don't be afraid. Let people know you and you will show a lot of people a sensitive guy who could be their brother or father. Then you have won the battle.

Just let me wear what I want to wear, as long as it's not indecent.

You know the garment industry could have a sharp increase in sales if we were more free to purchase and wear
what we want. It's very expensive to stay on top of all the items I would really need if I was out, what a stimulus package for the economy.

The men don't turn around their wardrobe very often, stuff just doesn't change and not very exciting item, but we girls always need something new, additional make-up etc etc etc..:)

Please post your article here for all of us to read!

Tara

[SIZE="2"]All I can say is DO NOT JUDGE US, BEFORE YOU GET TO KNOW WHO WE ARE !!!!:)[/SIZE]

I would want to let people know that this is not a just a fantasy game we are playing. This isn't something we choose to do or be. This is something that we are born into. No one would choose to lead the lives many of us have had to lead. The shame, the fear, the wasted money (when we purge and then buy more), the confusion, etc. All you ladies know what I mean.

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Originally Posted by Lissa Stevens

I would want to let people know that this is not a just a fantasy game we are playing. This isn't something we choose to do or be. This is something that we are born into. No one would choose to lead the lives many of us have had to lead. The shame, the fear, the wasted money (when we purge and then buy more), the confusion, etc. All you ladies know what I mean.

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Couldn't agree more, I really feel I had as much choice in dressing as I did in growing taller or having blue eyes. It is something that is part of me and is part of so many people, many of whom have yet to learn it. So, don't mock or pick on us, most of us are happy to talk and answer well thought questions.

I think that you need to incorporate all the feedback that you have received to this post.
Oh yes, post a copy of your article for us to read.
JoAnne Wheeler

Believe me I have tried to fight it, but failed miserably to my own expence (loss of wife) sound like something I chose to you?

and as has already been said so many times, "we are every where and you would never know" (at least untill the day some one knocks you down and says ha how does it feel to be beat by a guy wearimg panties?)

Oh sisters,

It has been a struggle to decide whether to go through with this...publishing the article that is. But I'm doing it, and it will be published in Portland Maine this coming Thursday, in the alt montly called "The Bollard." I ended up quoting three of the members who answered my first post early...Jess, Samantha, and Lorileah...thank you so much, sisters, for your words.

This got complicated because after I approached the editor of the paper about writing for him, he told me he was matching my coming-out article with another about a local homeless man who crossdresses and who is on the city registry of sex offenders for a conviction in the 80's. He says he is advocating for her and wants his publication of her story to lead to greater tolerance and understanding, and I (mostly) believe him, but I'm not completely sure about it...I think he may still also be motivated in at least a small part by a desire to sell papers with something which the average reader will find freaky and sensational...but I ended up deciding that if I withdrew my article, the story about the homeless guy would be all he would publish, so I decided to go ahead.

I will post the link to the on-line version of the issue when it comes out on Thursday, and I will be grateful for honest response to everything he publishes. I've only been out (even to myself) a few months, and I find I'm already feeling out the parameters of activism.

I also sent him the pic which is now my avatar and profile pic, and it is going to be published along with the article. That feels risky, but also right. And I do think that if we, crossdresers as a whole, are going to acheive greater acceptance in society, risks must be taken. OK, here we go...

Lisa

Please PM those of us being quoted with the editors name and email addy.
I am going to do my absolute best to NOT have these stories run together or concurent.

Adding that the homeless man is a cd and pedophile is sensationalism at minimum and won't help our cause one bit. The two DO NOT go hand in hand and he's going to give that impression, I'll help him change his mind and leave that out. Please PM us with it when you can.

Sorry, no help here, sever case of Analysis - Paralysis, I would be so worried about saying the wrong thing, I would be to affraid to say anything.

Simple answer:

Leave the labels on medical, food, and other containers that require them and keep them OFF the people ;)

*hugs*

Zarabeth

Jess,

I hear and share your concern...but I would respectfully request that you wait until he publishes to respond, based on what he does, not on what you've heard me say he told me he was going to do. I know this guy's work well...he's a progressive activist independent journalist. The overall impact of the issue will depend a lot on presentation, editorial content, etc. I'm wary of pre-judging. May I suggest a wait and see approach?

Lisa

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lady Zarabeth

Simple answer:

Leave the labels on medical, food, and other containers that require them and keep them OFF the people ;)

*hugs*

Zarabeth

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AMEN dear Sister Zarabeth. (only a month until Scarborough Faire).

Kandis:love::rose2:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lisa Pomeroy

Jess,
..........May I suggest a wait and see approach?

Lisa

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Oh course Lisa:hugs: I just don't want you to have any regrets contacting and dealing with this editor, and my other concerns that I posted.
I hope all does go well, please keep us informed and good luck with the story.
Even if it didn't go well, you tried your best:) and it wouldn't be the first time and I assure you it won't be the last. Hope all goes well.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lady Zarabeth

Simple answer:

Leave the labels on medical, food, and other containers that require them and keep them OFF the people ;)

*hugs*

Zarabeth

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Amen to that Lady Zarabeth

Dear everyone in the world:

Never give in to the temptation of applying what you believe about a group to an individual until you know otherwise. This vice of allowing stereotype to trump individual merit will serve you no purpose other than to ultimately degrade the value of your individual freedom.

-Subaru

Hey, World... iam Normal.. Get used to it:tongueout

Sisters,

Both articles are now on line, along with a note the editor wrote about how he came to the decision to publish them. Clickable links to both articles are easily found on the site's front page, at http://www.thebollard.com. (Comments made by forum members are included in a sidebar to my article.) The editor's note can be found by selecting "Editorials" from the "Views" pull-down menu, and then clicking on "Editor's note from the March 2009 issue."

If you decide to check them out, happy reading!

Lisa

Well thought out and well written article. Should have been on the front page. Thank you for the positive reflection of what crossdressers are about. Hopefully this can start to open the general public's eye.
Thanks again and keep up the good work.

"Some people like red cars. Some people like green cars. As long as that person doesn't run over your children, and into you picture window with that car, what the heck does it matter? Really......who cares."

i would say, that we are like normal people, and the fact that we like to dress as woman is the same as every woman now a day went through, then women where bad seen for using pants, like every guy, the difference is that all women unite and fought for the right to dress with that they wanted, hey may be we should do the same?