Did you ever think because you CD you were gay?

This may be a bit odd but I was wondering since in today’s world if you CD you just abut get labeled gay, when you first started CD were you ever attracted to men or both? Did you automatically think that since you CD you were gay?

When I was younger I thought I was BI or transgender. I remember when I was in college I experimented a bit I found a transgender club that had all sorts of stiles wrestling they had regular wrestling, cat fighting, and erotic wrestling and I did some cat fighting and erotic wrestling matches. I found that while I like to CD and play a woman for the most part I’m very much attracted to women.

Geoff

I never thought that... but to some extent, my wife still seems to think it..... strange....

:)
jenn

No not really, I've always seen cd'ing as totally separate from sexual preference, at least for myself.

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Originally Posted by jennCD

I never thought that... but to some extent, my wife still seems to think it..... strange....

:)
jenn

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I think they all do Jenn for awhile, my SO does as well:brolleyes:

Oh, when I simply crossdressed (I say simply I was in reality supressing my transsexuality) I was pure hetrosexual... Attracted to women exclusively... but when I got them I didn't quite know what to do with them... lol :) I can laugh about it now but it was soul destroying at the time... Some of these girls were stunningly beautiful and they must have been bitterly disappointed that they had this totally clueless... 'don't touch me there' oddity... If they did touch me I just felt sick... awwwww...

But I just wasn't attracted to boys...

Then after six months on hormones I started getting these rather disturbing images appearing in my mind from absolutely nowhere... It was shocking in all honesty. A crush on my best male friend followed... Then, a year and a half into hormones, I saw this guy... and wham... I was simply poleaxed in a way I've never, ever felt before... awwwwwww :)

Been an interesting life so far...

I'm wondering more if that idea stopped me realising what I like to do. I love dressing up, but being confused as I wonder if I should be attracted to guys when I'm dressed. The more I look at life, the more I wonder how far I want to go. I don't dress every day, it's just so hard sometimes getting into "shape" that a GG has to start with.

Even with my lovely forms, I still look down and see forms, not breasts....

I wonder if I realised that I wouldn't be gay if I dressed at an earlier age would of gone further into my psyche to find out what I am.

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Originally Posted by Jess_cd32

No not really, I've always seen cd'ing as totally separate from sexual preference, at least for myself.
I love women, how many have I 'loved'? I'm not saying:) (I lost count actually:doh:)



I think they all do Jenn for awhile, my SO does as well:brolleyes:

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Mine doesn't. :love:

And, to answer the question. I love women. I love everything about them. :daydreaming:

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Originally Posted by Jess_cd32

I've always seen cd'ing as totally separate from sexual preference

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I have to agree.

I have never really though of them as a combined thing, like if I'm one [a CD] I must be the other [Gay].

I liked girls and just so happen to like their clothes too. lol
I didn't even know there was a word for what I was doing when I started doing it, lol.

I have always liked girls and have never though that I might be gay in general or because of doing this.

Liking girls is one thing in life I can be sure of, lol.

PS: On a side note.
Of all the people I have told about this, so far not a one has though I might be or was gay or bi or even implied I might be in some way.

ive never felt gay when im dress as a girl but anyway be a cd and being gay are 2 diffent things

I can't say that I ever thought I was gay.
Funny though, when I'm dressed my fanatsies toward that are greater, and whether you'd like to admit it or not, we've all had those fantasies.
Acting on them is another matter.
That happening to me is very unlikely, as I won't go out dressed and when I'm in drab, I have no sexual feelings toward men at all.

I never thought I was gay.....ever. But when I was 26 I was going through a strange period where I suffered deep depression, and loneliness, and it came to the point where if someone came along and offered me love, i'd take it.
From 26 to 33 I was bi definately, I tried it with a few men, some worked, some did'nt. In the last 3 years though I've had no interest in men at all. I was in a gay bar last night dressed, and a guy came onto me, but I said "Hands off". I think, since my loneliness and depression was learned to be controlled, I've been content with my dressing only.

When I was in my teens I thought that if I like to dress as a girl then I must be gay. But I was always attracted to girls so I was quite confused. Later I figured out that it was possible to be a cross dresser and be straight. Now I believe that it is possible to be transsexual and straight.
Many of my hairdressers have assumed that I was gay. It was easier for them to understand that so I just went with it. So I have been accepted by many people as being a gay cross dresser. It works for me. Leanne

Never thought that for one minute, Just because I like to dress in nice women's clothes doesn't make a person gay. And I definitly don't ever feel gay. :2c:

When dressed en fem or in drab I look at guys. Women are interesting to study but when it comes to sex, umm...no thanks.
When I dress en fem I'm more interested in being feminine so there are certain guys I'm trying to attract. I guess I'm in the minority.

This is a difficult question to answer. Difficult because I have always had Bi tendencies, even before I started dressing. I think as I explored bi-sexuality I became more and more interested in exploring my urges to dress and allow my feminine side to shine through more. Though I still had feelings of inapropriatness of wearing womens clothes and/or make-up, I still craved allowing that part of myself out. Oddly enough, some of the people I explored with, sexually, could not accept my dressing. Even though they were gay or bi themselves and dealt with the stigma society had put on them, they did the same thing to me. Odd Huh? Not that I dressed while with them, but I did tell them that I enjoyed dressing.
As far as S/O's go. I have the greatest. I think the fact that we both have bi tendencies helps. She has only seen me fully enfem once, but that is because of the internal struggle I have. She has always encouraged me and helped me to be at ease with myself as Dan or Em. She does not think that because a part of me is Em that I harbor gay thoughts or tendencies. As a matter of fact, I just came through the backside of yet one more identity crisis, probably the worse yet. This time I purged everything I had, all my clothes, shoes, make-up I even shaved my head and grew this long, ugly, scratchy beard. For about two years I fought, ignored and denied the urge to be me. I was sharing this with my S/O last week and she encouraged me to begin dressing again and join some more groups. She told me she knew I was struggling but didn't want to make it worse by talking to me about it before I was ready to talk.

I am sorry, I am babbling. I do that alot....

Blessings,
Em

Well, when I was a teenager I was pretty confused about what was going on with me. I didn't know about crossdressing and thought that I was the only person in the world with this issue.

I thought "I have to be gay, this is not normal", but in the other hand, my attraction to guys was zero. I thought that maybe I as a very lousy gay... I even tried to stare at the good looking popular guys in my classroom, and nothing... I guess that I was just trying to label myself, and I didn't know about all the possible "labels". Remember, no Internet by these days.

But then I understood that CD and sexual orientation had nothing to do... 100% straight.

I have been bisexual all of my life. I love having sex with men and women and when I do I am always submissive. Dressing brings my true spirit together, as in when I dress I am expressing all of me and all that it means. Ya know this is a private confession just between us girls so please don't tell anybody.:o

No, I've never had a gay thought in my life. Even when i fessed up to my wife about crossdressing, one of the first things she said was "well I know you definately aren't gay" :)

Cheers

Tash

There was a time in my early-mid teens when I first started dressing that I thought I might have been gay, but now I know i'm definitely not. I'm curious, but don't see my future self being with anyone else other than a woman and having a few kiddies.

I've always thought, "I love women so much that I need to wear their clothes."

I think society does associate cross-dressing with homosexuality, but every stat I've heard is that the vast majority of T-girls are straight.

[SIZE="3"]Initially I thought I was gay but I wasn't attracted to men. I saw the error of drawing sex and gender with the same brush. My wife inquired about it when I came out to her. After some research and counsel, I discovered that I was a crossdresser and transgender. I am attracted to women.

Gennee [/SIZE]


:)

I never considered myself to be gay. Although I have experimented but have pretty much turned off by men. I am definitely attracted more to women. I have been hit on by men and have said no. I do think that most folks find it strange that crossdressers for the most part prefer women They don't understand our passion for the female form. Heck I even find it strange and can't give it a good answer to the question of why

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Originally Posted by Raychel

Never thought that for one minute, Just because I like to dress in nice women's clothes doesn't make a person gay. And I definitly don't ever feel gay. :2c:

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[SIZE="3"]You're right about that, Raychel. I love wearing nice women's clothing.

Gennee [/SIZE]

For me the two things are separate, so I guess the answer is no. I am bisexual and have always been that way. I also have always enjoyed women's clothes. My reactions and attractions stay the same in either femme or drab.

As early as I can remember I felt female, and I began to dress before I had the urge to have sex. When I did start having sex it was while dressed and it was with men. So to be PC, I guess that I am gay, although I never really thought of myself as gay. (not that I see anything wrong with being gay) I just thought of myself as a girl with a thingy. I don't do drab anymore and live as Kelly 24/7 now... When i was still in drab I never had the urge to be with a man sexually. So am I gay? That has been a poser for me for a long time. I finally stopped trying to figure it out. I am a lot happier now.
I had a shrink that said I was gay and that by having sex with men while dressed just re-enforced my longing to be a girl.
it's no longer an issue,but still a curiosity so if any of you have any insights please feel free to im me or e-mail me in private as I don't want to step on this thread.
kelly

i consider myself bisexual . when im dressed as a woman im totaly into men. i think in my heart that im a beautiful **** who has to please a man. susan

Yes -- the reason being that when I first began crossdressing back in the early 1970s there were no knowledgeable resources about CDing. There was certainly no one I could talk to! We did have the book Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (but were afraid to ask) by Dr David Ruben. In spite of being a groundbreaking bestseller, this book is good for acting as a doorstop and not much else! My mon and dad had a copy and secretly began researching what it said. After all, he's a doctor and must know something. In truth, Ruben knew little about crossdressing and his characterisations placed us squarely in the camp of guys who dressed as women and trawled gay bars picking up men, or, if hetero, spent time masturbating whilst wearing panties. Ruben's descriptions were disgusting and made me sick to my stomach. I found myself damning myself for being that way. I felt cursed for being gay.

But, being the thoughtful contemplative sort, I knew that there was one thing wrong with the doctor's generalisations. I liked girls! The more and more I considered who I was, the more and more I found myself rejecting him. By the time I turned 13, and bought my own clothes, I knew inside that I wasn't doing anything wrong. When my mum abused me over crossdressing, and called me a faggot and queer, I knew inside that I wasn't that. Sure, it still hurt, but more in the sense that one's own parent could be so mean.

One of the basic reasons that lead to my inner strength was that I felt that what I was doing wasn't about sex. In fact, it didn't even have a sexually aspect to it -- hey I was a kid -- what did I know from sex! All I knew was that wanted to dress like the girls in school and be with then rather than those ucky boys.

One might say, "aren't you the CDer who likes girls who dress in guy's underwear while you dress as a girl?" -- doesn't that show some repressed homosexuality within you. To that I say, NO! It only shows that I enjoy gender play and have a great fantasy life, and can have fun in the sack as it were.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

this is something i still fight with , i consider myslef bi , but i like women more , but i like sex with men , even though my conquests have well not been good ones. i still enjoy the mechanical end of it , the worst partis i seem to be confusing my shrink,shes more interested in the depression end of me than the tg part right now,

Get a new shrink, that's what I did.

kelly, she is concerned about the tg part too, but i have depression issues that are 1st

I once thought I might be, why dress like a girl if you ain't, I thought. So, I went to find out, cruised gay bars, etc. I had two experiences. Both ended the same way, it was ok, but didn't trip my trigger. And I had to be the "woman" in mind, body, spirit, and had to be dressed. When the clothes came off, I was turned off. So, I don't think I'm gay, I don't even think I'm bi. I think it's more of my personality gravitating toward a female role and returning, this female role could include sexual desire, but not always. Kinda like the "woman inside" moves to the surface at times.

I knew that I liked girls clothing early, and I developed an interest in girls late. This made me wonder if I was gay. Then one day I sat down and thought about kissing a guy. Yuck. I figured out that I'm not gay. I just like girls clothing.

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Originally Posted by kimmy p

Then one day I sat down and thought about kissing a guy. Yuck.

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That pretty much says it all for me.

Strangely enough, I'm finding myself more likely to chat up more women when I'm out dressed lately. Maybe being a tall guy in drag is a good conversation starter? I left the club last night with three new phone numbers, and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself.

I've had a fair number of people simply assume that I'm gay, which simply means that a lot of folks still associate sartorial choices with sexual orientation. Okay, whatever. That's their problem, not mine. Opinions are their own, and it doesn't affect me one way or the other.

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Originally Posted by kellycan27

I had a shrink that said I was gay and that by having sex with men while dressed just re-enforced my longing to be a girl.

kelly

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Hmm..borrowing a 'shrinks' manual.. isnt 'gay' being in a relationship with a man as a man????? i may be wrong.. so i find it surprising that a shrink would say this. You seem to be 'gurl' who wants that role as the girl.. i know this feeling as its the manner in which i would want to be with a man. Well, most times.. i'm still questioning the bi side of me :)

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Originally Posted by AmandaM

I once thought I might be, why dress like a girl if you ain't, I thought. So, I went to find out, cruised gay bars, etc. I had two experiences. Both ended the same way, it was ok, but didn't trip my trigger. And I had to be the "woman" in mind, body, spirit, and had to be dressed. When the clothes came off, I was turned off. So, I don't think I'm gay, I don't even think I'm bi. I think it's more of my personality gravitating toward a female role and returning, this female role could include sexual desire, but not always. Kinda like the "woman inside" moves to the surface at times.

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Understandable.. very much.. i was in a gay bar, all men with only the 'showgirl' entertainers dressed femme. I did not find them attractive only because in my mind i took it they were only interested in men, hint the term 'gay'. I know i'm wrong for that thought, but i did long for the company (chat) of a man, it just wasn't the right setting. And I think being dressed is when i would be more comfortable with a man (last time with a man, years ago, i was in drab, i know confusing, huh?)

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Originally Posted by kimmy p

I knew that I liked girls clothing early, and I developed an interest in girls late. This made me wonder if I was gay. Then one day I sat down and thought about kissing a guy. Yuck. I figured out that I'm not gay. I just like girls clothing.

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I would have to say that kissing a man, I would have to be dressed, with sexy painted lips..as it would feel like a complete role as a woman.. don't think that feeling is the same when in drab.

Now i do have to say that i do love and desire women.. just not sure in what role at times.. as man (me) and woman, woman (me, role of man) and woman, or woman and woman (as two lesbians or best friends).

Good thread, but now i'm confused...lol.

Hugs to everyone...

I started crossdressing way back in the 70's, before we had the resources on the internet that we have now. I had many questions about why I had a need to dress as a girl and wear makeup. Being gay was never one of them. I knew I liked girls, and only girls.

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Originally Posted by StevieTV

When dressed en fem or in drab I look at guys. Women are interesting to study but when it comes to sex, umm...no thanks.
When I dress en fem I'm more interested in being feminine so there are certain guys I'm trying to attract. I guess I'm in the minority.

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I am the same I am bi but lean more twards woman. I live a lone and i fill both rolls:D

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Originally Posted by CD Tasha

No, I've never had a gay thought in my life. Even when i fessed up to my wife about crossdressing, one of the first things she said was "well I know you definately aren't gay" :)

Cheers

Tash

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That is so true. I have always love women and the way they look, when my wife found out about my crossdressing the first thing she ask was .......are you gay I so no way I do not see anything sexy about a man at all and if I was a real woman I would be a lesbian.


LA CINDY LOVE

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Originally Posted by LeotardMan

Did you automatically think that since you CD you were gay?

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There was a time when I was very confused about my urge to cd. I knew that I liked girls, and not boys, but didn't understand why I'd want to dress or look like a girl.

I never had the desire to be with another man in any sexual way. In time, I learned more about my own crossdressing and became comfortable with who I am.

I can look at mtf crossdressers who pull off the look really well and find them very attractive, but still don't desire to be with them in any sexual way.

So I guess it's just no. Confused about my own cding as I was, I never thought I was gay. I just thought I was some kind of horrible freak that society would lock up in a mental institution if they ever found about about me.

I'm sure there are young crossdressers out there today that feel the same because society insists on NOT educating people on this subject. God forbid children know of this horrible affliction called crossdressing. Today's young cd's will have to discover it on their own just like we all did, wondering what the hell it's all about and what's wrong with them. How many years will it take for them to learn that nothing is wrong with them - it's society that is messed up (trying to force people to be what they are not).

It's interesting how people lump things together. Are we to assume that most GGs who wear pants are gay? NO! I love wearing women's things. I love women. I hate that the first thing someone askes or assumes is that CDing =Gayness.

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Originally Posted by jruiz

Well, when I was a teenager I was pretty confused about what was going on with me. I didn't know about crossdressing and thought that I was the only person in the world with this issue.

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Wow, you told my story verbatim. I was also sexually behind the curve, both because I was raised Baptist (still am) and expected to wait until I got married, and also because I was the weird geek who was all jokes and video games and comic books and didn't think about sex well into college. So there I was wanting to dress like a girl and not having any intimate contact with girls (or anyone else)... *of course* I was confused as all get-out. My clumsiness and obvious inexperience with my first GGfriend led many to believe I might be gay, and I thought they might be right.

Then I had an... encounter... with an aggressive young man who kept trying to arouse me, and it scared the daylights out of me. The thought of putting my lips on his body, much less any other part of me on any other part of him, was revolting.

Shortly after that I became sexually active (sorry about that, God) and it was totally different. I couldn't get enough of that happy place, and quickly realized that whatever other gender confusion I might have, at least I was 100% sure I was not gay. (slightly off-topic but amusing side note: This was with my second girlfriend; in an ironic twist, the first one revealed that she was bi and decided to pursue her own girlfriend. I can't tell you how much good THAT does for a man's self esteem!).

So... a lesson for any of you youngsters who are just showing up here and still trying to figure out why you're different: you are probably not gay. And if you still have doubts about what you do and why you do it, this is the place to ask... we've all been down that same road many, many times.

ralph

Of course i thought you had to be gay to dress, everyone knows that. Ok we all know that isn't true but back in the day you were because that is what everyone said. So......hide your stuff in the closet or under the house, hope your wife visits the Inlaws for a week so you can at least wear the panties, then feel sheepish and guilty when she gets back (and she assumes you were out having an affair), throw away the clothes and promise never do it again.

I was maybe more confused as a young person because I did have sexual feelings for men. Then thank (your deity here) for the late 70's when you could love the one you're with. I knew then I was bisexual. The sexuality is a bell curve and no one is 100% anything but I felt better being in that curve. Still thought the bi part was from the dressing but I know better now. Yes I like guys when dressed but only closet bi guys like me dressed. I like women no matter what I wear. Gay guys like me undressed ;)

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Originally Posted by Katie B

According to most surveys, the number of CDs who are exclusively homosexual is pretty well exactly the same as the general population -- about 6%. On the other hand there may be a slightly above-average number of CDs who are bisexual.

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Could this be because the number of trans people out there who are attracted to other transfolk seems to be quite large? But, if an MTF finds another MTF attractive, is it the boy or the girl they're attracted to - or both? :idontknow:

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

Of course i thought you had to be gay to dress, everyone knows that.

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They do? :straightface:

In the beginning I thought I was the only one who crossdressed and I thought that I was gay or leaning in that direction, as I grew older I realized that I wasn't gay. I had no desire toward men in general, my desire's went to women. But I still crossdressed and now in my fifties I believe that I am TS. That is where I am now and I'm waiting for my first gender counseling session in a week or so. Hope to unravel my feelings and maybe get started on HRT by the 3rd qtr 2009. :battingeyelashes:

Yep... But I knew I wasn't attracted to guys so for decades I had an internal battle of "I must be gay if I like to dress like a girl... but I'm not!! lol Finally just accepted it and move on!!

I never thought I was gay. That said though, I have always been very aware of societies opinion of crossdressers, and from time to time have thought that I might as well be.

Nah...I knew I was bi long before the CDing popped it's head into the picture..as a matter of fact I really beleive that the acceptence of my sexuality allowed Stephanie to emerge...she was there sexually but not as a person...now she's is a person....

I'm with SS on this one I have been Bi my whole life CDing came later.
I love women but still check out the good looking guys.

I didn't start CDing until I was over 50. All I knew about CDing came from the main stream media. For years, I thot I must be gay to want to look like a woman, and wear women's clothes. Even tho I have never fantasized about being with a man in my life! :doh:

After about 9 tortured years, I came out of my closet far enough to investigate on line. Discovered this site, and the truth about CDs!:eek:

The truth is, I'm PROBABLY NOT GAY, BUT:

I now have realized, I can be turned on by a guy, if he looked, talked, and acted completely convincing as a woman! Because I have met such MtoF individuals! No sex, but I MITE make out with one! :hugs:

Here's ANOTHER THING! I fool around with Sherry, and I KNOW she's a guy!
So, AM I GAY, or not!? I'm NOT sure!:brolleyes:

Never thought of myself as being "gay" when I dress. I don't think it comes to mind. When I was younger, I dressed because I felt comfortable, excited. Now I do it because it's part of who I am. Sexuality has/had nothing to do with it.