If you have children, do they know about you CDing? If so, how old were they when they found out?
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If you have children, do they know about you CDing? If so, how old were they when they found out?
My daughter was 24, my son 22. Problem was they both knew I crossdressed for probably 15 yrs or more, they just kept it to themselves and waited till I felt comfortable to tell them.. :battingeyelashes:
Can't help you with this one - no children - my golden retrievers do know and
they are alright with it as long as I feed them, no matter how I am dressed
JoAnne Wheeler
Yes I have children. They do NOT know (that I know of). They are 14 & 15. My wife won't let me tell them.:sad: Maybe someday I will tell them.Quote:
Originally Posted by LeslieBird
I have three kids - 17, 14 and 8. To my knowledge, they do not know (if some of the stories I've heard on this board are true, they actually might). That is the way I would like to keep it. My daughter (the youngest) knows that daddy has a lot of pretty dresses and skirts and other clothes in his closet, but has been told that is due to mommy having a closet that is too small. Maybe some day I will have to make sure that my wife wears something from my closet, so my daughter doesn't get suspicious. :)
Sometimes, I goof up and forget things - leaving breast forms lying about, leaving clothes or makeup in the car. Today,for instance, I had a day off, so I went shopping. When I picked up my son, he asked why the car smelled like "soap" (it was my perfume). So to cover it up, I, . . . ummmm, . . . did something I usually blame the dog for. It covered up the perfume smell nicely and brought me back to "guy" mode quickly. :)
Sometimes, you gotta think on your feet, so to speak.
Kathi
And mite NEVER!:straightface:
Yes, one boy (14), an done girl (13). She found out when she was 9 or 10, and the boy was just told this past year.
Kandis:love::rose2:
I have a stepson and hes not old enough yet to grasp the concept, but when he is... he'll know :)
*hugs*
Zarabeth
I have three kids, a 20y boy, a 10y boy and a 7y daughter. They all know. The two younger ones have known for over 4 years and the oldest 1 year ago. all three accept me for who I am
two sons no one knows i,m still in the closet
I have 2 daughters, 12 & 15. I have never told them but I sometimes think they know, at least the older one. I know someone was in my stuff about a year ago and she jokes that I live a secret life as a crossdressing hitman a lot. I sometimes think I'd like to tell them but I don't want my ex to use it against me in any way as she's threatened to do in the past.
My 18yr old daughter knows I shave my legs and she's fine with that. If only she knew the rest of the story.
son and daughter , 14-12 do not know,, but i think they suspect. I use my wifes closet..
geesh mom ,, why do you have all these 5" heels that i never see you wear.
JoAnne, are they better with some outfits then with others?Quote:
Originally Posted by JoAnne Wheeler
My children are grown, well in some ways, and only my daughter knows. I told her after she turned 52 last year. My son doesn't know and never will as long as he is married! His wife would give me no peace!!:tongueout
Three kids. Two aren't in my state and I seriously doubt they know, unless it is word of mouth from number three if she has figured it out. She is still in the house, but like a lot of teens, not around a lot. But you never know and have to be prepared mentally for finding out that they found you out!
I have 4 children and they where brought up with it right from the start.
There's a paper somewhere, can't currently find it, by an researcher called Allison Reisbig who asked adult children of CDers when and how they found out and how they felt about it. Her conclusions were generally very encouraging, all the children were accepting, only one had slight issues but they appear to have been related to the pre-existing stress between parent and child. Some had always known, some learnt in late teens and some in adulthood. The children themselves commented that it was just a part of their father, a significant proportion said that it had led to an improvement in family relations because their parent was more at ease. Most agreed that earlier or later disclosure was better, none had lerant during early teenage/puberty but felt they might have had issues at those ages where they are learning who they were; and of course think both parents are embarassing weirdos anyway! LOL
I have a 1 year old, I'm well in the closet but I hope I can find it in me to come out soon to my SO so my baby can just always know and have no issues with it.
Love
Modesty
I have 3 kids, they knew about Debs from the start (since Dec) youngest is 12, daughter is 23 and eldest is 25
Your story is a mirror of mine, the exception is I have 4 kids. 2 sons and 2 daughters ranging from 11- 18 years of age.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim_Bitzflick
My wife does not see the need for them to know and I agree with her. We have decided that they ever asked then we would not lie to them about it.
But and this is a big BUT...........my eldest daughter plucks my eyebrows for me and I think she suspects that dad does something that he is not telling us.
I shave my legs and armpits and they all know but have never asked why or made any negative comments about it.
They do not know about Vicky or is that just us being niave.
Xx Vicky xX
I guess my story is a lot like the rest. My relationship with my most recent ex-wife was a don't ask don't tell, spent a long time in the closet. Shortly after we divorced my youngest needed a place to stay. I had been dressing on a nightly basis for several months, full femme on the weekends. I told her that I hoped it would not bother her that I wore skirts, hose and heels most of my time at home. Instead of the shock I expected, she assured me that she and her sisters had known for quite some time. Children to snoop through closets and dressers when the parental units are away. I waited to admit it to the rest until shortly before my 44th birthday. They all told the same story. I received 4.5 inch stiletto boots from the eldest, 4" tan teacher pumps from another and from the youngest silver sandal heels. My girls are 28, 27, 23 and 22. We now go shopping together and I even swap shoes from time to time with the two who wear the same size.
If you think your children don't know you dress, they most likely do.
Peace
I have three kids.
My 16 year old daughter has seen and met "Debs".
My 14 year old son has seen pics but never met "Debs" [his choice, he doesn't have a problem with it, but we've got a very good father and son relationship we both enjoy]
My 7 year old son hasn't been told yet, but will be at some point in the near future when i feel he's able to understand it properly.
Two boys, 12 and 15, that I told two months ago. The older has seen me dressed on one occasion. In the past, both have caught me with nail polish on my fingers and me in nightgowns.
Deanna
Three girls, twins who I told when they were 15 (too young) and Emily who knew at the same time but she was 17. The twins struggled for a while but are now fine with it. Not in their back yard though which I accept. Emily has never had any problem with it.
I have 2 kids 1 is 17 boy and a girl 15 and they have seen my leg shaved and my arm pits shaved since they were young and they have seen my wife pluck my eye bras when I have let them go.
She re arches them I can keep them up.
My kid just call it man scapeing but they don't know but a couple of Halloweens I have dressed up and there pretty floored.
My son told me I looked better as a chick!
In the back of my mined I'm saying AAAAAAAAAAAAAAright.
But I think they know but till someone brings it up or asks I'm not saying anything.
Jackie
Thanks for the info, Modesty! As a result, I was able to locate at least one item by Allison Reisbig on the topic, "THE LIVED EXPERIENCES OF ADULT CHILDREN OF CROSSDRESSING FATHERS: A RETROSPECTIVE ACCOUNT," her 2007 Ph.D. dissertation.Quote:
Originally Posted by Modesty Blaise
It can be found at http://krex.k-state.edu/dspace/bitst...eisbig2007.pdf
Here's one quote from the Abstract:
"Specifically, the results revealed that the participants adjusted
to having fathers who are crossdressers relatively easily. The closeness of their relationships, the timing and nature of disclosure, their fathers’ comfort levels with being crossdressers, and the familial response to the fathers’ crossdressing were all revealed to play important roles in the participants’ acceptance of and adjustment to their fathers’ being crossdressers.
"Overall, the participants identified more positive effects than negative in reference to their relationships with their fathers and their social adjustment."
Our daughter knows - she is 18. We had another long talk just the other week so she knows I am transitioning. Our son is 14 - he doesn't know anything yet. He has his own issues to deal with and so doesn't need mine too but he is one of only two family members who don't know I am transitioning and so we review our position every week or so and when it feels right we will tell him. I don't want him to be in the position of finding out that everyone else knew for a long time before him - we are closer than that by a long way so he will need to be told soon-ish.
Sarah...
I have a son, 11, and I came out to him this past Halloween '08. Told him that my costume for the day was that I wanted to BE a woman. He didn't take it well, but it opened the conversational door to be accessed again and again. As of now he knows, has seen me dressed, I dress around the house often during the week though with little makeup on usually. He knows I go out to meetings dressed, and other events, and has seen me dressed to the 9's.
He and I go back and forth with acceptance and tolerance, and he has had a therapist now for a few years that he's been able to talk to about all of this (and he does, I assure you). He's trying to be a strong little guy, and he never stops hearing that I love him greatly (just search for my name in messages here, you'll see a few posts about it). We have a long road ahead, the two of us (and my SO of course). Hopefully he'll continue to respect and love me as we travel together.
1) Do I have children?: Yes, 7, current ages 14 (M), 18(F), 19(F), 19(M), 19(M), 20(M) and 22(F)
2) Do they know?: Yes, they all know
3) How old were they?: They all found out over the past three years. They are all fully accepting.
Oldest Daughter about three years ago, was 18 at the time. She went to the River City Sparkle TG Ball with me last year.
Youngest Daughter over two years ago, was 15 at the time.
Middle Daughter: 18 months ago was 17 at the time
Oldest Son 18 months ago was 19
Middle Sons 18 months ago were 18
Youngest son 6 months ago was 14
My son has known since he was about 13-years old, about 8 years ago. He has been very accepting and has been out with me in both genders. None of his friends have really been "told," but he assumes that some of them know as well, and, if they do, they are also accepting.
Overall, I probably would have been glad never to have to tell him, but that could only have happened if I wasn't a crossdresser. Otherwise, trying to keep a secret of this magnitude was erroding our family life and probably causing him to wonder what was really going on when Dad, feeling under pressure, behaved strangely.
Him knowing and accepting has made for a much closer and more relaxed family.
I have two kids, both teenagers. A girl and a boy. They know of my "hobby" and are fully accepting. They even bought me some jewelry for Christmas! They found out by accident when they went away with my wife for a weekend at Grandma's. I would use these weekends for dressing, and have a wonderful time! My wife would take the kids and go to her parents for the weekend. They would always come home in the evening on Sunday after 7:00 PM. Well......this particular weekend, her parents had something going on in the early afternoon. Soooooooooooo, there I am in all my girlyness at around 2:00 PM, watching TV and I look up and my daughter is standing there. OOOOOPS! She was 13 at the time and said she knew already. It's amazing what kids know! Boy, was my wife mad!!! (she is accepting and supportive, but didn't want the kids to know)
Anyway, it turned out great! Now I can dress whenever I want within the rules my wife and I have established.
My kid is five. I'm not out, except everyone knows I dress up on halloween. All she knows is halloween is dress up time... except recently she told my wife she has four favorite -girl- friends in the world. ...Mommy, her school friend, family dog and daddy. ...Daddy is on the list even though he is a man, but that's why he is -last- on the list! I got beat out by the dog who hasn't been with us for a couple years now. cute.
We have three kids 4 year old daughter, 1.5 year old son and 4 month old daughter. I have no intentions of telling them when they get older. When our oldest was born, I reduced the amount of clothing I had and kept only items that could be passed off as my wifes. (Wife is fully supportive). My oldest has seen me dressed, but I was only wearing jeans and a tee shirt at the time so to her, it shouldn't have looked any different than my male jeans and tee shirts.
I have two boys and SO who, I believe, is trying to come to terms with my dressing (as am I really). My children (both boys 6 and 2) do not know, but once my SO and me work through this I hope that I can share Kim with my boys as well.
Funny story though, I was getting dressed for work the other day (in my man clothes) and myself, my SO and my 2yo were in the bedroom. I slipped on my panties (b/c I always wear them) and my 2yo started yelling at me "NO, NO Daddy, those are Mommy's!!" Sigh, I was very surprised that even at such a young age the gender barriers are well in place in childrens' minds. It really made me stop and think. They weren't even very girlie undies...and she's never even worn them.
We have a Brady Bunch. I have two, girl 23 and boy 22 who I think know but don't say anything. My wife has three, boy 18, girl 17 and girl 10 who to my knowledge don't. I would like to tell them (selfish reason-so I can dress at home) but my wife won't let me. I don't know what the reaction would be, probably "thats disgusting" which is the standard reaction to anything out of the ordinary!! The Dad (wifes kids Dad) thing would be a concern maybe, but who knows. Maybe one day the world will just accept us for who we are :swear:
Now he knows... :) He took it in his stride as usual.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah...
Sarah...
Have a 6 yr old boy... he once pointed out the makeup in a store and said that it was for me. His mother knew, I told her weeks into our relationship.. I think she may have said something to him at some point.
Funny thing, she tells me that he and her have a secret - that he likes to wear her clothes some nights. She'll let him play dress up for a while, but hes never said anything to me about it.... Ive never said anything about the issue either. What are the chances he would take to cding like that, seemingly of his own accord?!
As good as any thing else of commonality really. There's no proof that crossdressing desires are genetic or not, but I'd be there's a connection in there somewhere.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nattastic
If he is a crossdresser, he's lucky to have you as parents. Lots of stories on this forum about unaccepting, fire breathing parents.
My wife and I had a discussion about "what if" our children turned out to be crossdressers. We've only had girls, so there's less likelihood of that (there seem to be considerably fewer FtM than MtF). But, if we do, we'd support it fully. If it comes up and they make a revelation to us, or it becomes obvious, we'll have a good discussion with them and then taking them on a shopping spree out of town somewhere they won't know anybody.
I have a step-son who is 10. He does not know and I don't think I will ever tell him. I don't dress often, and I don't see a reason why he should know.
Same thing that Nattastic said though, that what would the chances be if my son was a crossdresser. He likes to play around with girl stuff and pretend to be a girl sometimes, but I'm sure it's just little kid playing around. Even if he was, though, I don't think it'd tell him.
I have an adult daughter who knows. She's the one who figured it out and turned me in to my wife. My teenage son does not know. That is the one thing my wife said would cause an end to our marrage.
My 2 kids dont know as far as I know, its possible they may suspect something but I doubt it. I wont tell them because they are at an age where they have enough going on with all of the hormone changes and peer pressure and they dont need another heavy issue to confuse their thoughts.
I have two children, step daughters, 8 and 10 years old. They are aware of my leg shaveing and are cool with it (the oldest say's she hates her dads hairy legs), and it's a family thing when it comes to toenail polishing. My wife and I always match and the girls match us about 80% of the time. As far as Kaitlin, they haven't been told yet, but they will be soon!
I have a 15 yr old daughter, and I don't believe she knows, although she has made some innocent comments that make me wonder. I would like to tell her someday,but right now, she has enough on her plate.My wife really doesn't want her to know, but she is a pretty cool kid, and I 'm sure she will understand, when the time is right.
I have two and a third on the way (Due July 15th).
My 19 year old son found out around two years ago and he is cool with it.
My five year old daughter is a bit more ambiguous. I've never done it in front of her, but she does see that I have a closet full of skirts and heels, and has of course commented on it with your typical five year old subtlety. I neither confirmed nor denied her assumptions. While I am trying to keep her mind open, I don't particularly want her to know. My son had a "normal" childhood, with out any additional head trips, and I would give my daughter the same opportunity.
When my two were very young (less than 5) I dressed however I wanted to and didn't worry about it because they didn't know the difference anyway. Then as my son got older my wife requested that I give him a mainstream "male" role model, by which she meant wear pants around him. Now they are in their late teens and I have always tried to abide by that request, although occasionally a kid will wander into my room late at night to ask me something, and I'll be in my nightgown.
They do know, in any case. When they were old enough to understand the birds and the bees, I had "the talk" with them - about their own sexuality and responsibilities, as well as the fact that I buy my clothes off both sides of the store. I did this mostly to make sure they did not think I was gay or TS.
Full Disclosure: From other threads you may have seen that I am opposed to saddling your children with the job of keeping your secret. I did explain to my kids that what I wear around the house is my personal business and something I would prefer the rest of the world - including my parents and brother - does not know about. Hypocrite? I suppose. I have never expected them to lie for me or hide anything from others; I only asked them not to bring the subject up.
My son decided to test some boundaries a few years ago during some games at our church - one of those "truth or dare" type games, and he announced "I have never been a transvestite". That got an odd reaction - half the group didn't know what he meant, and most were still confused by the rules as to what you were supposed to do if the statement was true or not for you - so I took advantage of the confusion and kept silent.
Anyway, getting back to the original question... I believe both kids are a bit uncomfortable about it (why? Probably because all teens live in mortal terror of being singled out as different), so for the few remaining years that we are together, I follow a "don't ask, don't tell" policy - I don't wear skirts or dresses around them, and if they bust in on my in my bedroom when I'm in my nightgown, they don't say anything about it.
ralph