If we GG's could say anything/ The good and the Bad

I was thinking about how when giving advice we always tell either party to talk to your partner. Well some things are just hard to say or ask. So I thought I would ask our GG's if there would be anything they would want to say or ask if it was done
anonymously. What would they like to say to their partner ( in hopes they would read it and see it in themselves) or the group
without fear of being slapped down.
This is an experiment on opening communication lines. Please in your responding posts refer to the poster as Fab/ GG anonymous and the number. Some of the ladies have questions and some just need an outlet in hopes their partner might read and open an discussion with them. Some of these are their feelings so please if it rings a bell with you fine if not this is way to get their feelings out in hopes the partner will see it.
I WOULD LIKE ANOTHER THREAD FOR ALL OF THE TG/CD LADIES TO GIVE THEIR FEELINGS ANONYMOUSLY
( within forum rules) You can pm Shelly Preston , az_azeel or Di and it will be in total confidence.And we will post your feelings and questions as well in hopes of more understanding.

Note these are some of the Fab ladies, feelings, experiences in hope their partner will read and see themselves. This is up for discussion BUT NOT ARGUMENT Feel free to answer any of the questions or discuss the thread.For clarity state Fab/ GG anonymous #

Fab/ GG anonymous 1.

I am trying to be supportive and you ask why now I get so nervous when you want to dress. I am afraid to tell you
from something that happened after I first found out.
You were getting ready and it has been several hours and I had to use the restroom. I knocked on the door to ask if I may use the bathroom and you went crazy screamed, ranted then took a shower and it was all my fault I ruined it.
So now after you tell me you are getting dressed, I do not eat or drink anything, and one time I am ashamed to say I went to the bathroom outside. I get sick to my stomach
from fear when you want to dress because of this reason
NOT because I am not accepting. It seems like when you dress you are not accepting of me.

Fab/ GG anonymous 2

You lied to me when you asked me to marry you.

You told me you just 'liked to wear skirts.'

I asked you straight out, with sustained eye contact, if you wanted to become female.

You said, very clearly, 'no.'

Now, you admit that you didn't tell me the truth because you feared I wouldn't marry you. WELL DUH. I probably wouldn't have.

But...I might have. Because I loved you then. I love you now.

But honesty would have been the better course and much more respectful, considerate and loving towards me because now...our lives, our families, our hearts, and our finances are entangled.

Making a decision to stay or go based on the current 'full disclosure' is very difficult.

I feel betrayed. I feel angry. I feel tricked. And I highly resent that you have put me, quite deliberately and with intent to deceive, in this very awkward painful position.

Fab/ GG anonymous 3

My biggest fear has always been that you are with me because I am accepting and only that reason.

Fab/ GG anonymous 4

I've known very early on in my relationship that my boyfriend fantasied about forced feminization and female domination. As someone who is completely submissive in the bedroom I feel that I have robbed him of something he enjoys.

He has told me that he used to think he was submissive, and assures me that he now enjoys taking a more dominate role with me whether he is in girl mode or boy mode.

We have an amazing sex life, but its a great fear of mine that I won't always satisfy him. I notice a great deal more Submissive Cders than Dominate ones. I feel like I am going against the grain of the Cder norm. I adore him and desperately want to please him.

Fab/ GG anonymous 5

Why are you whinging your wife doesn't accept you, and yet I see you here for HOURS and HOURS? Do you even know where she is? Where your kids are? Get of the damned computer and go spend time with your family out in the real world
Or is it better in here where someone will agree with your twisted version of reality?

Fab/ GG anonymous 6

I enjoy it when you are enfemme and prefer it.Do you act all macho to cover up something you fear is wrong? It is not wrong!
I would much rather have the real you and not the macho jerk anyday.

Fab/ GG anonymous 7

I love the two of us dressing up and going to our monthly get togethers.:D What I do not like is you getting ready taking up the bathroom for about 3 hrs and if I take 5 min in the bathroom getting ready you blow up because your beard will be coming through.Be more fun for me if we BOTH could feel pretty.

Fab/ GG anonymous 8

Most cders go through the pink fog stage, for some it is more intense than others. For those who have SOs, who try and slow this down, why don’t you listen? Instead you just carry on and buy stuff most of which will probably never be worn, want to dress at every opportunity. Then you complain that your SO doesn’t understand when she gets angry for all the stuff that going on and wants to try to get a grip on things.

Then there’s the boundaries breaking, you’ve both come to an agreement with boundaries, but you want to go further. Instead of talking about it nope you just go ahead and move the goal posts, then again wonder why you’re SOs angry.


Life can be good with a transgendered person but you've got to be willing to listen to your SO and her worries, and try to help her overcome these things, and not just go off and do your own thing.

A lot here seem to think that once an SO knows then life can just carry on as before, well sorry to say for most it doesn't happen like this, ok in a few years, yes I said years not weeks, months, it may well all come together, but a lot of talking and understanding has to be done.

Fab/ GG anonymous 9

Pet peeve....once we know..why continue to lie about things...its only going to make things harder for them. If I asked a question I want the truth not a lie .

Fab/ GG anonymous 10

Would you want/like constructive criticism on your pics from us GGs about makeup, clothing or wigs ect?

Fab/ GG anonymous 11

Just because I love YOU, does not mean I can accept that you CD .We are talking apples and oranges here....one does not equal the other. I might love you but I might not like the cding.

Fab/ GG anonymous 12


I love the way you value my opinion, on the clothes you wear and how you let me help to put your outfits together.

I love how you appreciate my femininity and always tell me how lovely you think I look.

I love the way you smiled when I brushed your wigs for you and showed you how to plait them.

I love that when we go shopping we play the what can I spot for you game. I try and find things you'd like, and you do the same for me.

I love the way that you respect my views on none animal tested make up and go out of your way to use stuff that isn't.

I love the fact you laughed at me when you caught me jumping up and down on your bed in your frilliest petticoat.

I love the fact that when I accidentally stumbled over your cross dressing magazines you let me flick through them and explained everything to me.

I also love the fact that when in the same day and place I found the porn you used to use before you met me, you didn't dismiss and hide it. You handed me all pieces to flick through while reassured me it ment nothing and then promptly threw them away without me even asking you to.

I love the fact that when I need to ask you a serious question you sit down and turn off all distractions to face me, and that you answer honestly.

I love the fact you never forget that I am a women, and that I have desires too.

I love the fact that you respect me.

I love the fact that on days when I struggle with insecurities you never get angry about having to reassure me, and that when I cry you hold me.

Its because you make such an amazing man that I'm happy for you to be a lady too. With you I always feel center of the world.

Fab/ GG anonymous 13


For a community that craves acceptance, some of you really are not very tollerant of others. Remember it's a feminine trait to be empathetic.

Fab/ GG anonymous 14


I feel bad for the people come looking for advice and are really trying hard to get to grips with it. Yet they are made to be the baddie because "It's not like he's hitting you or anything" while I appreciate the fact it isn't anything like domestic abuse, I hate how they make dressing seem like its nothing. When really it can be.

I think these women should be allowed to walk away with their heads held up high. If that can't accept the dressing, its not a crime. They shouldn't be punished for it. Relationships are a partnership and should be on equal footing, they are also a choice.
It seems to me that if partners can't accept their SO's cross dressing then many of the Cders are out with their pitch forks and ready for a witch burning.

Incidentally, just because one women accepts one mans dressings, it doesn't mean she would accept all CDers as a partner. Crossing dressing is quite hard to deal with, but because my partner is open and honest about it, and goes out of his way to make me feel good about myself and where I stand as "His woman" its fine. I'd never consider dating another Cross Dresser if all I got was drama. Many seem like they are extremely high maintenance.
To me its the man inside that counts. I'm sure if I was partnered with any of the other Cders on the site I would struggle.

Finally, I cannot bear all this lying. I hear a lot of Cross Dressers say : "If I tell her she'll leave me! So I'll just keep hiding and lying because that better than being alone."
I believe very much in the saying - If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.
By set free, I mean by the truth. After my partner told me, I didn't flee and here we are now very very happy together.

However if your wife/girlfriend/partner cannot handle it and she does leave eventually all your doing is prolonging the inevitable. If she leaves then it was never ment to be. I would feel very resentful if I was with a partner who lied to me for so long only to come clean late in life. In my opinion thats robbing your partner of a chance of finding true happiness. (Not that we can't find true happiness with a cross dresser, on the contrary. Many of us have but like Cross Dressers, women vary.)

Fab/ GG anonymous 15

The good: I love your sensitivity and compassion.

I love the diversity in the bedroom.

I love having a girlfriend to see chick flicks with.

I love being able to rely on your taste and knowledge about female fashion.

It's cool to have the option of borrowing your stuff if I need to.

The bad: I feel awkward about your long nails in guy mode, even though I know that your appearance has no bearing on me.

It hurts me sometimes when I feel you would rather have something pretty for you than for me. This is the part of a traditional relationship I am working on letting go, but it is hard.

I feel threatened by your fascination with other women. It makes me feel as if something is lacking in me. I am not as fascinated by other men.

The good and the bad together: Sometimes I need a take charge kinda guy in my life when I feel overwhelmed and I just want to feel protected. But I also know it is good for me to rely on myself.

Fab/ GG anonymous 16


I like the fact that I can talk to you in either mode and know that I am speaking to the same person.

I love the fact that when we are having us (male/female) time, that your fem while there, does not dominate.

I love to walk with you in either mode and being able to hold your hand or walk with arms wrapped round each other.

I love the fact that you trust me enough, to trust my judgement.

I appreciate that I am not always the easiest person to live with and that you are sensative to my moods.

I appreciate that you allow me to share this part of you with me & that you do not make it all about you, that you remember that I am a half of our relationship

I love knowing that I know and love the complete person and am loved back by the complete you

Fab/ GG anonymous 17

Is there really sex in a transgender relationship ? I was told by my partner no sex was part of being married to a transgender partner.Why? And is this true? And why is this true?

Fab/ GG anonymous 18

The biggest hurdle is not that you want to wear a skirt, but that you didn't trust me enough to let me into part of your life, and by not letting me in you didn't give me the choice of being with the real you. I'm still here. Look at all that time you wasted.

Fab/ GG anonymous 19

I hate the way you pay more attention to yourself than you do me, like when my nails look nice, you brush it off, but when yours looks nice, you expect me to compliment you until the cows come home.

I hate the way you still wear girl things when we're having sex, I've told you, but you don't listen, I feel like my feelings don't count. One day, you will listen, maybe if I start wearing male attire to bed, you will get the message, but it isn't fair that you don't listen to me, when I support you 100% in everything you do, why can't you give a little back?

I love that you love me unconditionally.
I love the way you snuggle up to me at night and hold me till I fall to sleep.
Every night for the last xx amount of years, you've told me you love before I sleep, I love that.
I love the way you make me coffee in the morning.... but you could make me breakfast too
I love our family outings, you put them first, it's taken you a long time.
I love everything about you, you are my soul mate, we've had our problems, but we've come through them

Fab/ GG anonymous 20

When I first discovered you were a CD, X amount of time into our relationship, YES I was hurt angry and bewildered that you did not tell me, what hurt more was that while I was willing to learn about this new you, and what it meant to us, you lied and lied some more.

You wouldn't listen to me, and how I was feeling, that hurt, I wanted to learn not just from others, but from you, what this meant for us and our relationship, but instead you kept rejecting my attempts to talk and learn .................. you took and accepting SO and turned her into an unaccepting one, not for CDs, but for you .............. to late you attempted to repair the damage, to many lies, to many goalposts moved ............ you lost not just a partner, but an accepting SO .. how sad is that ..... if I could go back to the beginning of finding out, knowing what I know now I would not have wasted the extra years trying to learn, trying to make it work.

Some CD's do not deserve an accepting SO because of what they do to them ............. you were/are such a one!!!!!

Fab/ GG anonymous 21

Cds that brag about things they do behind their SO's back, they seem to think that they are doing something good, then they wonder when the SO finds out why she's like she is.

Be honest with your SO and work things out instead of sitting moaning all the time.


I love you for being my soul mate,
for being here for me when I've needed you
but most of all I love you for being YOU

Fab/ GG anonymous 22

I hate the lies I have to tell on your/our behalf to family and friends about what we did last night/at the weekend. I hate the knowing grins from those same people when I say owwwww we are having an us night in at home, and having to farm the kids out because you need time to dress, the comments hurt when I hear them say "you are so lucky that XYZ still loves you enough after all this time to still want to spend time alone with you" ........... If only they knew the woman in your life at those times is not me"

I hate that family gathering see you sit in the corner sulking, that is if you even bother to turn up at all ............. I hate lying again to your family and friends about you being a touch off colour or that it has been yet another stress filled week at work, or there are rumours that you may lose your job in a company re-shuffle, I hate it, do you hear.

I miss the man I fell in Love with ........ I need him sometimes ..... but she needs you more than I do apparently

Fab/ GG anonymous 23

I do not understand something. I read on the forum how some appreciate or really like woman to dress up. But if I do it upsets you and I end up feeling ugly and undesirable.

Fab/ GG anonymous 24

Why all the worrying,second guessing, anxiety,stress, questioning everything from how to label yourself, to your sexual orientation and to how others see you?Be happy, live your life, enjoy your loved ones, stop beating yourself up.
You should firstly accept yourself as you are and then be grateful for who you are.

Fab/ GG anonymous 25

It hurts that you have gone out en femme and others have seen you, but you still won't 'dress' in front of me - not fully anyways. I know your outings mostly consist of going through fast food drive thrus and pumping gas, but still. The way it seems to give you a thrill at other people's reactions to you make me a bit envious. Envious because you haven't given me the same opportunity that you've given total strangers.

It hurts when we go out together and you keep diverting your attention to other women and their clothing I don't care if it's the clothes or the women you're sizing up, but it makes me feel 2" tall when we're out and I have to fight for your attention. At the end of the night, I feel like I've been on a 'date' with my husband and the handful of other women he seemed to be more into. That accounts for some of my 'bad moods' after what you feel was a great time out together.

I feel like you enjoyed CDing more when you were being sneaky about it.

Fab/ GG anonymous 26

"I love you more than words can say. But over time I've lost the sexual connection that I thought we had. All of my instincts tell me that I'm not the one who satisfies your erotic desires even though I know you love me emotionally. I don't feel that you feel passionate about me, and in turn it has affected the passion I feel for you. When we make love I often wonder who you are and who you're with in your mind and if you're pretending because you don't want to lose me. Sometimes I wonder if you're disappointed in who I turned out to be and if you stay with me because there is no better alternative. It breaks my heart but I don't want to let you go because I love you so much."

Fab/ GG anonymous 27

I don't love your cding.....I love YOU. So when you see the green light and take it so far that I have to be the one to slam on the breaks and you wonder "What's the matter? I thought you liked this?" It's because of your behavior, not because I am suddenly becoming unaccepting.
I see now that cding is an important part of who YOU are...that is what is important to me. If cding went away tomorrow, and I was left with YOU, I wouldn't miss cding for a minute. On the other hand, if I could wish it away and was left with a shell of my husband, then I would wish the cding back in an instant.

Fab/ GG anonymous 28

Thank you for trusting me enough to share your inner-most secret with me.

Thank you for opening up the whole world of 'dressing-up' to me and for encouraging me to appreciate and embellish my own femininity.

Enough already with the clothes buying! I'm not sure we can establish a successful business in second-hand clothes (even if you were prepared to sell any of them) and we really don't have room to house a well-known department store's entire women's clothing stock.
Fab/ GG anonymous 28

Sometimes I really would like to do something for both of us that doesn't involve dressing-up or shopping (either physically or via the internet). Romantic dinners a deux have diminished of late.

I fell in love with you as a man and I'm turned on by you as a man. Much as I know 'she' is just a facet of you, I'm just not sexually attracted to her... and I don't think I ever will be!

I wish there was a remote chance of you even reading this. It seems I spend a lot of time on this forum (to the point where some members must think I'm making up the existence of a CDing SO!)... and you have no desire to.

Fab/ GG anonymous 29

I like the fact that the mods have got this thread up and running, because we can say what we really feel without it causing a whole lot of hard feelings in our house.

I can say here what I can't in my own name on open forum, for fear of condradicting what you say there,and others having a go at you and defending me, I don't want them to do that, but they need to hear my side as well, .... or saying how hurt/confused I am over something you did/did not do, ..... or even just ask a general question from something I read in another thread and you feeling I am having a go at you.

It's not all about you, sometimes it's about me and my wanting/needing to hear things and explore things just as you do .

Fab/ GG anonymous 30


Why is it, you give GG's such a hard time for telling you straight, when you've asked the question in the first place and then every other CD on the forum gangs up on them, even though, they are right! For a group of people that crave so much acceptance, that emulate US, you seem to have such a low opinion of us, that you make it so hard for us to accept you.

And why do you treat new GG's with such disrespect, when they come here looking for answers, and you give them the same old crappy line of 'well at least you're not with an abuser, or an alcoholic' etc etc... how do you know? How do you know they haven't already been through that? Just because you think CD'ing is harmless, doesn't mean it is, it can cause so many problems, because you turn us into liars, we have to lie to our families, even our children, because YOU don't have the guts to tell them. In a way, you've shoved us in the closet with you. How is that fair?

Some of you don't like GG's, because they tell it like it is, because they tell you the truth and you're used to lying so much, that when the truth smacks you in the face, you can't take it, you'd rather be lied to, because you're used to that. We bring up our children to be truthful, to teach them the cold hearted reality in life, yet we're expected to pussy foot around you, so you're feelings don't get hurt. Well, our feelings get hurt on a daily basis, living with pink fog, being misunderstood, being ignored, being made to feel unloved, unwanted and unappreciated. You're not the one living with a CD'er, we are.
__________________

Fab/ GG anonymous 31

I don't want damned matching anything ......... I hate it when twins are dressed alike .......... I am an individual, and have my own way of expressing myself, through dress & other things, I don't want to be your twin & I don't care that the other CDs think it is cutsie, I don't, I keep saying .... you don't listen:sad:

Another thing why do you all harp on, and on, and on, about how women should dress, women fought long and hard to be allowed to wear what clothing they choose, and even today, there are places & religions & cults where they are severely restricted .................. wear what you want, stop judging & condeming us by the women you want to be or believe we should be, we are happy the way we are, our choice, live with it

Fab/ GG anonymous 32

I am lucky AND maybe others will take from your lead. You treat me like a Queen and I then have no problem treating you as a princess.

Fab/ GG anonymous 33

How many of you Cd'ers notice that your wife wears a bra to bed?
How many women wear pantihose or stockings to bed?
How many women go to bed dressed?

None that I am aware of so where do you guys/as CD'ers get the idea that we as women are like this in any way.

Now I do read that some of you CD'ers wear nighties to bed as does the wife, i see that some wifes are not happy or comfortable with their male partner wearing a womans nightie, whats wrong with a mans niteshirt?? does the same thing, is it because it doesnt feel the same or look feminine enough??

Fab/ GG anonymous 34

Yes we are amazing women we are the glue that holds everything together,
in keeping, not only your hobby as some call it,
As "some"of us are fortunate to be told up front, about your CD'ing, what unsticks the glue is the ability to decieve, like the saying "what a tangled web we weave when we practice the art to decieve."
If your wife were to decieve you or hide something from you the boot I KNOW wouldnt be on the same foot it be on the other foot, would be the end of matter, & all hell would break loose, same male trait, no matter that you are males, no more no less, that choose to CD because you appreciate the finer things of a woman.
DO we as the WOMEN in your lives not deserve that right to be appreciated as well, for being the finer people who support and love you, who we are & for all we do,
your enfemme for goodness sake our darling men who like to play dress up.

Fab/ GG anonymous 35

I am so happy with you- you treat me like I am the most precious thing in the world to you, and I know you would never knowingly do anything to make me feel uncomfortable.
When I first found out about the crossdressing, I didn’t think it was a journey I wanted to take: I didn’t want to live with secrets and lies, but weighed in the balance of everything that is right about us, now it doesn’t seem such a big thing after all, and in some ways I quite like having our special ‘naughty’ secret.
I just wish you had enough trust in me to tell me in the first place, so we could have avoided the traumatic way I found out, and the long time it took to build up trust again.

Fab/ GG anonymous 36

Break the cycle of secrecy and embrace that special side of YOU.
For the single ladies please realize it is a part of you please learn from the others. that it will not go away, it is not wrong.
Love yourself unconditionally and open yourself up to love unconditionally.

Fab/ GG anonymous 37

Please don't assume that I'll always want to make love to 'her'. I don't mind sometimes, but I LIKE making love with YOU. Does she always have to be involved?'

Fab/ GG anonymous 38

What does the future hold? Of course, every partner worries about the future. Is this going to lead to The Operation? Where that lovely appendage to which me as the wife if is quite attached will be removed?
Valid questions. But my answer might surprise you. as long as I am loved and valued none of that matters. It is the relationship that matters.

Fear, fear, fear i think is the answer to many. "if I told, I wouldn't be given the chance." "I didn't know yet then." "Why risk rocking the boat." and so on... Not that people wish to deceive, but fear they have to to get fair treatment, or don't see a reason to tell - the reason not to tell being the feared risk for something that shouldn't matter that much to begin with, or is seen as inconsequential to the relationship. Where that goes often wrong of course is keeping it from affecting other things, especially when things turn out later to be more than originally thought.



Fab/ GG anonymous 1
answer

I think he/she felt as sick and scared and insecure as you do now, that's why the reaction. I'd try explaining and talking it over, defuse the tension, help both of you. of course, I don't know the chances of that working in your case, especially if the other is too defensive and shut to listen properly.

I just wanted to say I don't think it was you, or that they didn't want to be supportive of you but the other's personal problem(s) being overwhelming just then.


Fab/ GG anonymous 4
answer

I think the submissive thing is because of the sterotypical image of women being more submissive, so CDs should be too. And you shouldn't worry to always every time be perfect either.


Fab/ GG anonymous 10
answer
Ehh, some would, some times. Some are too insecure or touchy to hear any sort of criticism, some like constantly learning. I'd say don't offer if not asked, unless you think you know the person well enough. But yes, especially if asked, and not relating to a specically CD area of expertise, a GG's advice would be most welcome.


Fab/ GG anonymous 15
answer
Fascination with other women - I assume not specifically romantically - don't worry. If you don't share the fascination in opposite, it's just because you are not trying to appear like a man or into their look on yourself. It's not that he doesn't want you or wants them, it's more about him/her self.


Fab/ GG anonymous 17
answer
Not true to my knowledge, in general. For some maybe, for most i'd say it's untrue. If it's true for your partner, can only wonder why.


Fab/ GG anonymous 33
answer

I don't usually bother myself, nor do I have anyone to mind. When I do though, the material being nice is just a pleasant side effect. I don't have a woman's body, so clothing meant for women, even if somewhat uncomfortable, helps with feeling better, more right, when I'm feeling more womanly. An aid to be and feel, more than to do exactly the same that women do. Same reason that many CDs, especially in private, go over the top in their day/evening look - overcompensating what they (we) lack naturally.

With a partner you should of course discuss your feelings and agree on something you feel comfortable enough with.



I think you're all fine women and I hope you get the attention and consideration you need.
:hugs:
(also to you that have it good already :) )

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fab/ GG anonymous 4

I've known very early on in my relationship that my boyfriend fantasied about forced feminization and female domination. As someone who is completely submissive in the bedroom I feel that I have robbed him of something he enjoys.

He has told me that he used to think he was submissive, and assures me that he now enjoys taking a more dominate role with me whether he is in girl mode or boy mode.

We have an amazing sex life, but its a great fear of mine that I won't always satisfy him. I notice a great deal more Submissive Cders than Dominate ones. I feel like I am going against the grain of the Cder norm. I adore him and desperately want to please him.

---

For some, forced feminization and female domination is merely a fantasy. That is, it's a way for them to be able to dress with their wife's approval. However, if the wife is already accepting, then there is no longer a need for the fantasy.

If he's allowed to dress, then there's no need for force, is there!?

Maybe your husband isn't really submissive. I figure, if he was, then your sex life wouldn't be so amazing.

But, like always, if you have a question that's eating at you, don't be afraid to ask him. Knowing is better than not knowing, and fretting over not knowing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Di

Fab/ GG anonymous 31



Another thing why do you all harp on, and on, and on, about how women should dress, women fought long and hard to be allowed to wear what clothing they choose, and even today, there are places & religions & cults where they are severely restricted .................. wear what you want, stop judging & condemning us by the women you want to be or believe we should be, we are happy the way we are, our choice, live with it

---

It isn't all of us saying such things, just a very vocal minority. Some of us point out the hypocrisy & chauvinism of it when we see it. Often they are the same CD's who haven't fully embraced what they are, and live in fear instead of doing what they want, and discovering that it isn't as bad as they assumed out there.

Di, What a great idea to share these thoughts, feelings, and experiences anonymously! It gives such a wonderful insight to how the 'other half' can see :love:things.

This is such an important thread. It's full of human pain, joy, suffering, contentment, despair and love.

I should think some of this is already shared by the couples concerned. A lot isn't. Why is that I wonder? I hope we are all listening properly to the thoughts and feelings posted here. I'm not responding to anything specific. My partner, Becky, is no longer a contributor here. She's working with similar communities elsewhere though. And we've talked about all of this stuff. She talks, I listen. I talk, she listens. I really hope we're listening to the thoughts, feelings and emotions expressed in here. They are absolutely invaluable. :) I'm hoping this is the thread that becomes a springboard to some happy individuals, some happy couples and a greater understanding of the differences that make this such a potentially rich community.

Sarah...

Sarah...

Hi, Hope its OK for me to post my thoughts on this. Maybe it should be in a new thread.

My wife is accepting because:

1) I told her and showed her well before we married.

2) We each take the time we need in the bathroom getting ready. Sharing things as needed.

3) She loves the fact that when we go shopping that I can tell her honestly if she looks good in the outfit or not. And only she knows why I can do that!

4) She loves the fact that I set my own boundaries. She lets me know if I can go past them.

5) We communicate to the point of knowing what each other is feeling or thinking without having to say it.

6) She always know I have an extra eyeliner for her to borrow, or did I borrow it from her?

7) She know that the girl in me is part of me and I am the same person with or without makeup.

8) I love the fact that she says, Honey, why don't you dress up, you will feel better.

9) We both love hearing: lets take out the toy box after we are all dolled up. (Use your explicit imagination!) :o

There is a whole lot more. But what the above shows is that an SO can be extremely understanding just as long as you are honest, and communicative.

It took a few years to get to this comfortability level. We took our time and just let it happen.

honestly i never read them all..but the consensus is DONT LIE..im in 100% argreement...told my GG the first date..been together over 5 years..all happy...wonderful time we spend together doing things we enjoy...i worried about it but after 5 years it was really stupid...i do feel for those GG who have CD's who lie..makes for tuff relationship...problem is they just have not accepted it....just my thoughts

I know a lot of people rarely read the intro post.. and go straight to the last post... this thread has been posted as way of an example and has actually been taken from the F.A.B forum ..which is as you all know is a private section. Di posted this in here to show you some of the quotes made from wives and partners.

Now as Di said in her original post :-

Quote:

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I WOULD LIKE ANOTHER THREAD FOR ALL OF THE TG/CD LADIES TO GIVE THEIR FEELINGS ANONYMOUSLY
( within forum rules) You can pm Shelly Preston , az_azeel or Di and it will be in total confidence.And we will post your feelings and questions as well in hopes of more understanding.

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As Di said this could be a way to open communication..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sarah...

This is such an important thread. It's full of human pain, joy, suffering, contentment, despair and love.

I should think some of this is already shared by the couples concerned. A lot isn't. Why is that I wonder? I hope we are all listening properly to the thoughts and feelings posted here. I'm not responding to anything specific. My partner, Becky, is no longer a contributor here. She's working with similar communities elsewhere though. And we've talked about all of this stuff. She talks, I listen. I talk, she listens. I really hope we're listening to the thoughts, feelings and emotions expressed in here. They are absolutely invaluable. :) I'm hoping this is the thread that becomes a springboard to some happy individuals, some happy couples and a greater understanding of the differences that make this such a potentially rich community.

Sarah...

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Way to go sarah thats an awesome reply we as GG's loving & supporting partners, know that "some" of you do get ....that the communication is important, so heres hoping that all of you are listening or taking it in.:love:



KarenCDFL
From A Crossdressers Point of View :

awesome Karen it takes time yes, but see what being upfront is about., its a shame that fear is such a wicked thing. A bit like "would you go where angels fear to tread", by changing that to CD'ers.'
Its in How your partner is in the communciating the sharing,of all things,appreciation,
can make it all the much better, its about being happy with and within yourself as
to who you are and where you are...:love: called acceptance all round.

Oh man oh man oh man... this was absolutely fantastic. A lot of the concerns here are thoughts I've voiced to myself but (usually) kept quiet about around here for the sake of keeping the peace (and not having my thread deleted for being unsupportive or critical of the way others express themselves).

What a vain, self-serving, inconsiderate pack of louts we are. If I have been that selfish in anything I have said or done to my wife, or anyone else, I am thoroughly ashamed of myself.

Is it any surprise that the number one objection in all of those posts was the lying?

Another interesting theme in many of the posts revealed the truth that we deny ourselves: underneath all the "I just want to look and act female" there's still the primal urge of fetish - when we wear stuff that no real woman would wear, or under circumstances that no real woman would wear them (like bras to bed (!) or dresses during sex (!))... that's not acting female, that's getting off on the sensual thrill of the clothes.

And finally, the whole center of the universe thing. Preach it, sisters! We expect our [SIZE="1"]bizarre[/SIZE] endearing behavior to be supported, nay, admired - but when do we make the missus feel like she and her interests are all that matter in the world?

Three cheers for the lil' darlins :D for saying what needed to be said. I hope we all take away some lessons from this thread.

ralph

I really enjoyed reading this thread more than most. The whole reason I like to log onto this site is for me to try and figure out how cross dressing figures into my life and threads like this really get me to consider how my actions effect others, especially my wife and family.
I really feel the GG's responded from heart and their feelings as well as their words came through loud and clear.

great idea!