Dressing - more trouble than it's worth sometimes?

Hey everyone..

Do any of you find youself with plenty of opportunity to dress, but don't because you suddenly just don't really feel like it?

I have 2 full weeks+ to myself and can dress if I want becuase the family is away on a trip and guess what? In 6 days I have dressed once. I can't believe I'm saying this, because about 5 years ago when I started dressing a little more regularly I couldn't get enough of it! It's all I thought about day and night.. and now - well.. I don't seem to have the energy to put 2-3 hours into getting ready and hassling with the makeup and the nails and the shaving and the corsetting and the padding.. ack! I used to love all of that but it's honestly a pain for me right now. I'm really thinking about purging everyhing again, but I know the last time I did that I regretted it, so I'm fighting the urge for now.

I used to take hundreds of pictures too.. this time around I have 2 photos in the camera. What's up with me? Honestly if this would be permanent I wouldn't have any problem with it - but I have a feeling at some point the desire will come back... probably when I have little or no opportunity to dress. Ha! Murphy's law.

Take care everyone...

- Kat

Well Kat

I think we all get times like that when dressing seems like a lot of work

You know purging is not the answer it only makes it more expensive

So pack the things away if you have to but hold on to them

I am sure you will be back to your normal self soon :hugs:

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Originally Posted by Shelly Preston

I am sure you will be back to your normal self soon :hugs:

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ummmm....normal self? Maybe he has reverted back to being normal. Think about it.:doh:

Hi
As for me i have tossed my things time and again. it is true it only makes it more expensive. The last time i tossed my clothing i did because i "thought" it was over. i had found a love interest and did not want it to come out that i am a T girl. i have hated it ever since. i had some very nice things. i took them to the Salvation Army and later went back to see if they still had my things. No luck they had been sold, now i am playing catch up replacing what i had at once. for me there is no "cure" except to transition fully. I want and need to do this but currently am in a bind as i was laid off my job i think due to my make up i wore to work. Though i could never prove it. others were laid off as well but i was moved from a department i had seniority in to one which did not really need me. And the next day they let me go. I vow to never toss my female clothing ever again. Infact, if i toss any thing it will be every piece of male clothing i own. i rarely wear male jeans any more never underwear. If you think you want to back off, don't throw them out pack them up and place them in stroage some where. You never know when you might want to emerge again.

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Originally Posted by Jenny Brown

ummmm....normal self? Maybe he has reverted back to being normal. Think about it.:doh:

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Jenny, are you inferring that we are Not Normal when we dress? Sure sounds like it to me! I consider myself to be a normal, heterosexual man who likes to wear feminine clothing. Women wear male clothing, are they not normal when they do that?

To get back to the Kat's main question, I guess I really am different. Dressing has never been "more trouble than it is worth" for me! Because I don't let it become troublesome! This morning I went to church wearing mens slacks, shirt and tie. As soon as I got home, I went into the bedroom and about 10 minutes later I was Stephanie! You see, I don't wear a corset or padding of any kind. I am a natural 40 B, so all I have to do is put on an uplift bra to take care of my breasts along with a skirt and top!:heehee: And since I don't try to pass, I do not wear a wig or makeup! Try dressing like that, it really is fun and no work at all! And for those who don't already know, I do go out in public dressed exactly as I just described. A guy in a skirt!:D

BTW, I do own several corsets! But I only wear one when I am going to be on my feet for some time and need back suppport! Like when I usher at Church. Then I have to remember to have the corset inside my panties!!:heehee:

Kat,

I understand exactly how you feel--but I don't know if it for the same reason. I don't get charged from dressing. I feel the same way every day no matter what and I don't feel that dressing makes me feel any different so not dressing feels normal.

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Originally Posted by KatGRL774

Hey everyone..

Do any of you find youself with plenty of opportunity to dress, but don't because you suddenly just don't really feel like it?
....
I don't seem to have the energy to put 2-3 hours into getting ready and hassling with the makeup and the nails and the shaving and the corsetting and the padding.. ack! I used to love all of that but it's honestly a pain for me right now.
...
I used to take hundreds of pictures too.. this time around I have 2 photos in the camera. What's up with me?

- Kat

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It doesn't sound like you are rejecting your feminine side, but that you object to the effort involved. If that's the case, then I hate to tell you this, Kat, but there are millions of people who feel just like that! We call them "Women!"

A number of folks here moan and groan when GG's don't dress up all the time. Maybe you have evolved to the next step in crossdressing? The step where you relate more closely to how many GG's feel?

I can't know your own experience, but I can share mine. I'm retired and, with the blessings of my spouse, can dress any way I want on all but a few occasions. My social role pretty much matches that - there are some places and some people that I do not wish to encounter en femme, but otherwise I don't have to worry about it.

So, in the morning I do my neighborhood run en femme - a close shave (which will last me pretty much the whole day), a moisturizer with SPF, panties, shorts, bra and tank top or cami, running socks and shoes and I'm off.

Come back, shower, and, if I have nowhere to go, I actually toss on just shorts and a t-shirt and do my housework, the laundry, dinner prep, etc. No swirly housedress, no heels.

If I do have to run errands outside or if I'm going to lunch with friends, or a meeting or manicure or whatever, then I'll dress accordingly - male clothes if it is an en drab event, otherwise usually "androgenous" (which, for me, includes heels and a purse, women's pants or jeans, etc.) or full en femme, hair and makeup done and so on.

Sometimes I worry that perhaps I've "wasted" all that possible "girl time," but most of the time, deep down inside, I know that I'm really Persephone and that's all that matters.

Does that help?

Yes hun we all have had those times, best thing to do is pack them away because you WILL want them again,I my self have to laugh at myself, wen dressing as a man I will through a old shirt and jeans on and am reaady to go. but wen Jenna goes our eveen to get some food for house I take a hour to get ready, make up finding just the right out fit for that day and oh yes my hair has to be JUST right.

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Originally Posted by sissystephanie

And for those who don't already know, I do go out in public dressed exactly as I just described. A guy in a skirt!

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You think being a guy in a skirt is normal?
Maybe "normal" in your mind only, but I assure you...this is not normal in the real world.

I agree with Sissy Stephanie's approach, but in the end "to each his or her own". Sounds like you are a high maintenance dresser as opposed to me who is a low maintenance one. I consider myself androgynous so whichever gender trait fits best I follow. You might need to consider a word often used in this web's discussions: compromise. Sometimes all or nothing can be frustrating and I realize we all visualize an image we want to portray but we have to be realistic sometimes. I have an interesting mix of male and female traits so my image out there will be male: without makeup, wig, or shaved skin and with beard, long hair, and full thick body hair; female: large natural femme looking pecks, soft sloped shoulders, shapely legs, narrow feet, head to toe female clothes on all the time and breast forms and bra on some of the time. Time it takes to get dressed up 10 to 15 minutes. In other words "low maintenance" and loving it!
Cheers!:o
Chris

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Originally Posted by KatGRL774

...I don't seem to have the energy to put 2-3 hours into getting ready and hassling with the makeup and the nails and the shaving and the corsetting and the padding.. ack! I used to love all of that but it's honestly a pain for me right now.

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You're singing my song... well, sometimes. It depends on whether I want to fully dress, as in presentable enough for photos and possibly a public outing, or partially dress.

To dress fully requires several hours of body shaving, makeup application (and it takes a LOT of makeup to transform Gabe's rugged face in to the soft, feminine face of Gabrielle), and the whole process itself can be a hassle. Just yesterday I had a perfect opportunity to do "all the way" so to say, but chose to simply do some makeup, and not as much prep-work. Felt very relaxing, but certainly not presentable for a photo shoot or leaving the house.

Sometimes I just don't want to do all the work involved because it is work. Sometimes I'd just rather relax than work. I LOVE being fully dressed - it is my preferred way of crossdressing, but my busy life really wears me out, not to mention doesn't provide many opportunities, and so I will simply not spend the hours necessary to do so.

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I'm really thinking about purging everyhing again, but I know the last time I did that I regretted it, so I'm fighting the urge for now.

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There is an ebb and flow to things in life. Artists experience periods in which they do not want to create art. Writers have "writers block", or simply don't feel like it at times. And also, crossdressers will sometimes not feel the need to do so as often, or even at all for periods of time.

Writers block does not last forever, and so most writers do not simply toss out their writing tools and stop forever. Artists will always have a need to return to their artwork, and therefore will not usually throw away their expensive tools of the trade, so that they will be available for their next surge of inspiration. Crossdressers, with very few exceptions, do not simply find themselves "over crossdressing". Of course, unlike writing and creating art, there is a stupid social stigma attached to crossdressing and this f*cks with the mind of most crossdressers.

If you purge, you may soon feel f*cked, too. ;) Don't worry about it though. Your financial supply is infinite and replacing your items when "inspiration returns" is no big deal.

It's final. I'm doing the "is this normal" series on my website. Many crossdressers have some major problem with this aspect of their lives and constantly question "is this normal?"

The answer is almost always YES IT IS, DAMMIT!

Of course, taking into consideration the mind-f*ck society instills in us all (the "gender rules"), it is understandable why so many question what is normal and what is not.

Take it easy Kat... or purge and deal with the bitter feeling of regret later on. Have your memories of last October already been purged from your memory? You you truly believe it's different now and you're "cured" (of being yourself)?

You're normal, society is f*cked up. I challenge you to prove me wrong in that statement.

Whatever. Just try and relax. Enjoy your personal time while the family is away. RELAX is the operative word here. We all need to sometimes. :)

Instead of throwing everything out just box it up and put it all aside. Or donate it to a friend with the option of getting it back if you decide to. As far as the whole "hassle" issue your not the only one who goes through this. I cant count the number of thimes I get tired of spending a hour plus just on maintenance every morning, you just want to scream, eat ice cream and let everything go wild, until of course you actually look into a mirror :eek: and decide its not that big of a hassle. But yes I agree all the work can be a huge pain every so often, rest assured your not the only one.

Yes, I find now that the work of putting on makeup is just that,,,work! As for dressing I still love that and will dress up in my naughty outfits and so on. It only takes 5 minutes for that.

But putting on all that makeup, sealing my oily face, putting on a hot wig, all that has turned me right off. But I've always been a more casual, fun type of crossdresser, not one that tries to pass or go out. SO your not alone, but DON'T throw your stuff out!!! :eek:

As of late, Yes!

And I dont know why.

around January I was hooked lol, I bought loads of new under wear and slept in them. I havent done it since, and would like to, I just cant find the energy to bother.

I also aranged to go shopping with one of my GG friends in the next few days, now, I really dont want to.

Is this normal, or Happen to anyone else?

one thing il add is that anytime ive had a girlfriend, I lose my interest until the sexual stage of the relationship. Lately ive been seeing this girl, maybe thats why?

I haven't dressed fully or gone out in two months. Pictures? I wanted to do them this weekend, and couldn't get my hine in gear.

So it must be seasonal. I don't know. I know I've got to get it going because SCC is in two months and I have nothing to wear!

-Tracy

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Originally Posted by KatGRL774

Hey everyone..

Do any of you find youself with plenty of opportunity to dress, but don't because you suddenly just don't really feel like it?

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Sometimes Im just like,I know who I am,I'm not going anywhere right now and I really don't feel like going through all of that.I just want to relax and chill out.When I feel like it,have something to do,somewhere to go,its all there.And on that note,no purging Kat.Most of us and I have done it and its not worth having to replace it all again.Youve done it before it seems and you know eventually its gonna come back.Always does.Ive tried to fight it before but right now Im like whatever.Cuz I guess..I win? Pretty much what it comes down to.This is just me..and you are who you are.Nothing wrong with it.Many people go through what your feeling right now..and from what hear pretty much all of them come back to it.Dont stress :) :hugs:

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Originally Posted by Jenny Brown

ummmm....normal self? Maybe he has reverted back to being normal. Think about it.:doh:

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Im usually a good girl but this pissed me off.You didnt even answer Kats question and it seems you were only in this thread to explain to her how she isnt normal.She might not be dressing now but she knows it herself that she'll be back.Cuz she is a crossdresser..and not "normal" by your standard it seems.People come here to feel better about themselves and their desire to crossdress.Not to be made to feel like something is wrong with them.Nobody on this site is the problem.The problem is your "real world".

Im sure sissystephanie's mind isn't the only mind that thinks wearing a skirt is normal.When I get home,that is my return to normalcy.I don't care how many people in the "real world" think its not normal.It doesn't mean they are right.It only means,for their life its not right.The world through my eyes is very different..and through those windows the world will get what is real.Me being the person I am and thinking for myself.That is what is real.Not the life that other people think they are going to decide for you because they think it isnt "normal".




ok,rant over :P

:battingeyelashes: I'm sorry you feel that way, but not once did you say anything about a friend or going out with someone to a club or even a drive. purging is not the answer, you need someone to play with and do the girl talk thing then you really have something. dressing at home and all alone can be great but to go out and show yourself off and have some fun with a friend is a whole lot better. I say keep the cloths find a friend, someone you really trust and enjoy hanging with for the next time, or right now while you have time. enjoy yourself Sky

I actually feel obligated to dress up on average every week or so for one of the regular appointments I have where I am known only in girl mode -- hair, nails, massages, and a few other places. Sometimes I don't especially feel like it, but I find that pushing myself to go through the motions is actually a good thing and winds up keeping my dressing at a more even, controlled level over the course of time.

I think it's healthy to find some regular activity you can do dressed, and stick to a somewhat fixed schedule. This could be a monthly support group meeting, regular nail appointment, a weekly club with mostly women participants, or anything at all that at least encourages you to think about dressing from time to time. Works for me, at least.

- Diane

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Originally Posted by Kayla Shadows

Im usually a good girl but this pissed me off.You didnt even answer Kats question and it seems you were only in this thread to explain to her how she isnt normal.She might not be dressing now but she knows it herself that she'll be back.Cuz she is a crossdresser..and not "normal" by your standard it seems. People come here to feel better about themselves and their desire to crossdress. Not to be made to feel like something is wrong with them. Nobody on this site is the problem.The problem is your "real world".

Im sure sissystephanie's mind isn't the only mind that thinks wearing a skirt is normal.When I get home,that is my return to normalcy.I don't care how many people in the "real world" think its not normal.It doesn't mean they are right.It only means,for their life its not right.The world through my eyes is very different..and through those windows the world will get what is real.Me being the person I am and thinking for myself.That is what is real.Not the life that other people think they are going to decide for you because they think it isnt "normal".

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Well, it's better to be pissed off than pissed on, huh? :heehee:
Newsflash: By society's standards - Guys who wear women's clothing aren't normal.

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NORMAL: conforming with or constituting a norm or standard or level or type of social norm.

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Obviously the interpretation and definition of "normal" can certainly vary from one person to the next. If you were expecting the standard "You GO, Girl!" reply - sorry, that's not my department.

Wow....I have the opposite situation....
I want more and more time as Virginia-Mae....:)

I hope you come to a reasonable solution
If you want to throw/give away your clothes,
Please PM me Sis....:love:

Hi Kat,

I think what you are experiencing is fairly normal, in the sense that it's sometimes a pain spending at least 1 hour putting on makeup and then choosing clothes etc to get all femmed up only to have (say) a couple of hours of dressed time. If it's for longer then that's fine too.

I also have the opportunity to dress, but don't .... not fully anyway. For me it's in the evenings at home but I just don't bother. I'll stick to just some eye makeup a top and denim skirt and then throw on a baseball cap (no wig) and I'm done. I wouldn't worry about it. Those old feelings will come back when they're ready :)

Hey it's my old friend Kat - stirring up quite an emotional discussion. Lot's of good comments here. I'm with you on the ebbs and flows of the urge. And Murphy's Law about opportunity and desire not aligning.

"Normal"? "Common" may be a better question. Just look at how many folks felt compelled to share their feelings on this topic so quickly. Very common feelings, soul searching.

I'm that way, kind of a bio-rhythm thing I suppose.

Don't purge! Send/lend it all to me for safe keeping!! :) (Kat's got some really nice things!! But none of you other folks would like them.)
Best wishes.

Mary.. you're funny!! haha..

Well, I think part of my problem is that when I was CDing a lot more, I was lighter - about 30 lbs lighter. I had more energy. I'm 200 lbs now! It's hard to look sexy when you weight that much.

I dunno...

- Kat

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Originally Posted by Jenny Brown

Newsflash: By society's standards - Guys who wear women's clothing aren't normal.

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newsflash? I think I expressed that dear...and it does not mean they are right :P

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Originally Posted by Jenny Brown

If you were expecting the standard "You GO, Girl!" reply - sorry, that's not my department.[/COLOR][/B]

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Expecting what? You seem to be missing that you didnt even respond to the topic poster.What reply?? Did you get the part where you responded in a thread and did not even acknowledge the posters question at all? Seems a little disrespectful.And newsflash hun,everybody who reads this can see it. You like to stir..

but enough ruining Kats post.no further comment here..

[SIZE="2"]I’m always thinking about how much time I need to properly dress-up, and I allow more time accordingly. It’s always worth the effort. When my energy is particularly low, I keep thinking how wonderful I’ll feel in my femme clothes, and I get my second wind… [/SIZE]

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Originally Posted by Jenny Brown

Newsflash: By society's standards - Guys who wear women's clothing aren't normal.

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Quite so, and the definition of "normal" doesn't leave the wiggle room that some here would like.

I'm definitely not normal.

But ask me if I give a ****.

I have two levels of dressing.

Just putting on a dress or skirt is something I do almost every day.

But the 'all out' dressing, makeup, hair, in short doing a good enough job that I feel comfortable out in public? That takes a few hours the evening before, then a good chunk of the morning I'm planning on going out. As I am getting used to doing it more, I feel like I'm getting less 'reward' for it, so it just isn't happening as much.

I think I've only really gone out twice this year so far (not counting drives and short walks on quiet streets). If I could get the entire effort/process down to an hour, I think I'd do it more often.

I have never purged, or had the urge to. If purging is normal, I'm a freak. Of course, I make a lot of my own stuff, so it seems a shame to toss it when I have plenty of space. I've got stuff nearly 20 years old, sentimental value lol.

I do go months without dressing sometimes however. And other times I'll find a time slot, a night to myself which I plan to dress, and when the time comes, I DREAD the work of dressing.

Some of those nights end up being the most wonderful of all time, after breaking through the dread.

[QUOTE=Kayla Shadows;1810180
Expecting what? You seem to be missing that you didnt even respond to the topic poster.[/QUOTE]

Careful darling, this one appears to be off limits. She can be off topic or rude or whatever and any retort or challenge is deleted by the mods.

Of course she is free send a rather rude and mildly aggressive PM with no consequence.

This post by the way is not likely to see the light of tomorrow.

-Misty

I seem to find underdressing is fairly constant in my life but I have few opportunities to fully dress.Would love more opportunities especially to fully dress although I do agree it takes forward planning and can be "hard work"but that never hurt anyone ,did it?I feel like I should purge sometimes but my brain tells me that would be silly,a wast of money and my heart says you may need them again sometime so I will try to avoid this in future.

Pattie :daydreaming::battingeyelashes:

More trouble than it's worth? And odd thing to write I think. I guess it all depends on why you wear female clothing. If you do it for a thrill, then yes, maybe you have to decide if you 'need' that thrill today. But if you wear female clothes just to feel normal, then the effort isn't really an effort at all; it's just what we normally do. In contrast; it's an effort to force myself to dress as a guy so I can go out and do normal chores without looking like a complete idiot in a dress. I can pass as a normal guy; I can't pass as a female of any kind (Well, maybe a female gorilla), and I don't want or need the kind of attention I'd get if I went out dressed as a girl.

Kat

Two things to bear in mind - you will always want to crossdress - it just don't go away - so don't purge - pack your clothes up and put em away for a bit if you don't feel like it.

Also don't force it - dress when you get the urge and not just because you feel you have to

Also try just wearing the clothes w/o the make-up. Of course you'll look like a guy in a dress but that is OK - the hard bit is striving to look realy femme with the make-up and the wigs.

I happily wear womens clothing all day and a nightie to bed even if I have not worn any make-up at all. However - keep your toes painted - I do love that!


Cassy

Heh. I've sort of been there, which might be a strange thing for a GG to say. A friend of mine who was a TS always wanted to get dressed to the nines in matching dresses when we went out together. That got old quick. I feel like a nice feminine top and pants might be just enough dressing up without all the fuss. We all go through phases so don't throw anything out.

I only get dressed up to the nines if I'm out on the razzle :drink::drink::drink: Around the house it's usually t-shirt, jeans and syrup.

There are days when it seems like a lot of work to get all dolled up for a short period of time before I'd have to change and put everything away again. I guess it comes down to just how badly I want to be en femme. Most times when that happens, I just bag it, and look forward to the next opportunity. There are always things to do to occupy my time, and I'm more productive when I'm not dressed.

Dressing up all nice is a pain in the ass. Honestly, I hate the process of dressing fully en femme, and the maintenenace, but I do like the end result.
Dressing in more than jeans and a tee is a pain for anyone. Suit and tie, dress with full makeup, uniform, etc, yeah it looks good in the end but the process is a hassle, for men, women, TG, whoever.
Heh, like anything, sometimes one feels like it and other times it is just too much hassle. Even with fun stuff. It is quite normal to go thru cycles. Sometimes the desire to dress can disappear for years at a time. Really, you should not worry.

Is it normal for men to wear skirts? Well according to definition, no it is not normal, but think of this - most people in the world do something not "normal" by definition. Gyod who the heck wants to be normal anyways, Normal is no fun!
I seldom wear skirts, and have never owned a dress. I would rather show off MY long, shapely strong tanned legs in short shorts. Yes they are very hot legs... Nicole you little...

OK, I better send myself a PM telling myself all the lustful thoughts I am having over my own legs, as to keep things clean in the open forum. :heehee:

Have you heard of that saying " you can have to much of a good thing " when things become just routine the desire gos , leave it off for a while and it will return .

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Originally Posted by Persephone

It doesn't sound like you are rejecting your feminine side, but that you object to the effort involved. If that's the case, then I hate to tell you this, Kat, but there are millions of people who feel just like that! We call them "Women!"

?

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LOL that is so funny you beat me to it. I was just going to reply to Kat with the same answer. I have to get dressed up every day because I'm in and out of nurseries and pre schools and as a rep of local government, I just can't not make the effort. However, on the days when I am working from home and catching up with admin, I very rarely get changed out of my sweatshirt. I never put makeup on when I'm not venturing out of the house, and although I wash my hair every day, I make very little effort to do anything much with it. So Kat how feminine are you girl probably off the scale because thats exactly how I feel from time to time.
Take care
Bev