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I have read thread after thread after thread about the Pink Fog in one way or another. It seems to me that the PF has just become an excuse to justify irresponsible behavior. Spending family resources on crossdressing. Or shoving our crossdressing in our loved ones faces. It seems to me if some of us would show some restraint things might be a lot better.
Just some food for thought
My idea of pink fog must be different then yours.
to me it means being enveloped into the feminime aura within my own being without intruding on anyone else's space.
:love:
Katie
I definitely get pink fog.
From what I've heard other's state, and my own experience. It is an overwhelming feeling of femininity, accompanied by the need to express that femininity.
When ping fog sets in on me... nothing else matters... feminine feelings, cravings, desires and needs constantly run through my mind and body. In my youth it would run a few days. A year ago it would last weeks. Now it won't shut off (its been going on for months). The only thing which could sedate the fog was to dress, shave, makeup, talk, shop, etc. Girl out in every shape and way. As my life has progressed its taken more and more to blow the fog away. I think it goes differently for everyone, depending on how strong and deep their feminine persona is (or is buried)
Your advice is well taken. However, being, unfortunately, single, the "Fog" for me is just being in the mood a lot of the time, and yes, buying some things that are not really needed. It is not about wanting to be a woman, but rather, to dress like one and dress well while enjoying being out and about interacting with everyone, just as if I did not dress. Long live the "Fog"!
Pink Fog? Sheesh. I am behind in my terminology.
Well, from what I gather, it's definition varies. I'm guessing it's like any other "fog" in that it obscures your "vision" or objectivity and since pink is for girls, I'm guessing the more elaborate definition would be "Feminine mental myopia."
I would tend to see that as more of an excuse to do something irresponsible.
Person A- "Why did you just kick my lamp out the window?"
Person B- "I just got the Breaking Fog all of a sudden. I was completely consumed in my breaking-stuff aspect and I just had to express my urge to callously break other peoples things. You know what that's like, right?"
That's an exaggeration, but you get the idea.
[SIZE=4]Okay, I confess.. maybe it was here that the phrase "pink fog" was used in the same sentence as when shopping.. so I used it in the same reference..:o I did not even think to use it in reference to my desires to dress or how I feel dressed.. but it sure is a fog that I'm lost in when dressed.. or a rather an aura (sp). :D[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Foolish spending???? yes guilty at times :sad:..only because I forget to ask how much something is.. and then caught in paying for it.. other times, well its something that catches my eyes.. but most times, I shop for things on sale..rock bottom price.. or i just decide not to buy it now.. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Guess i need to re-evaluate my use of the term.. pink fog.. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Hugs, [/SIZE]
Means different things to different people. To quote my wife "I will see an item and I just have to have it". She is referring to my buying habits.
To me the pink fog is having to be feminine. Some times just wearing panties or bra will do. Some times it is more then that.
For me the PF is real. After I found this site and with it, cleared up most, if not all of my mis-conceptions about why I am like I am, I gained a freedom to allow me to accept who I am and to a great extant live accordingly.
No, I didn't shove it in anyone's face, I am just me and yes I shop but without busting the budget 'cause after all the outside should reflect the inside. Beside, I feel more comfortable dressing correctly. Even while I am Him at work I allow the real me to show through with my nails long and polished, long hair, earrings, woman's boots ect.
It took quite some time for the initial euphoria to wear down I admit and find that balancebetween needing to express my true self and how others have known and perceived me for 50+ years.
I agree that being in the PF is no excuse to force ANYTHING on ANYBODY.
Love and XXXX, Lily
Thanks , this sums it up for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by KatlynAshe
As to the op, You speak about responsibility. I think that is a given, pink fog or not we need to be responsible. I do not believe that I am being irresponsible because I dress, I still take care of all the things I take care of when not dressed.
The Pink Fog is just an excuse some of use to justify our excess's on occasion, unfortunately our SOs seem to see straight through it [unless they manage to get into it with us :D]
Why would anybody want to be enveloped in a fog the same colour as a Baboon's genitals? Give me good old grey fog any day :)
Hi Daphne-
So nice to see that you're still around.<big hug>
My take on it is that people behave irresponsibly for all sorts of reasons and then seek some sort of justification for it when it impacts their family or friends or whom ever in a bad way. Calling it a "pink fog" or an addiction, or a need, or an expression of our true self, is an attempt to evade responsibility for their own conscious choice and behavior. Unless you're truly clinical, there are not any "compulsions", no matter how strong they are, that can't be resisted.
Right now I have a strong compulsion to go out and buy a new Coach bag and I certainly have the money in the bank to do it. I also know that if I did my wife would punch me hard in the head (figure of speech). So I won't. I can just imagine how well it would go over if I said, "I only did it because I have to express my feminine feelings."
With all that said, we are often slaves to our feelings and desires. Look at how many people cheat on their spouses, or spend their paycheck at the bar or on lottery tickets and find ways to justify it to themselves. We are rationalizing animals, not rational animals.
Hugs...Joni Mari
I have always considered the Pink Fog more of a state of mind than anything else. To me, it is the time when I want to dress and be seen as Nicole, which is pretty much all of the time. :battingeyelashes: So I guess you could say that I am always in the fog. But to me, being in the fog doesn't change who I basically am, it only changes the way I feel, the way I look and the way I want to be seen.
I have worked very hard to perfect and improve upon Nicole's appearance and I believe the fog has in some way provided me with the desire to be more then I was yesterday.
Nicole
Long live "[SIZE="4"]THE FOG[/SIZE]". Guilty as charged.
I've overspent a time or two. I've shoved my dressing in my DSWs face a few times (not a good idea)
I find that I buy clothes simply because I CAN. No other reason. Is that "the fog"?
Thankfully there is a "FOG" helped me many times when first starting out and making different purchases. I'd get a feeling of "invisibility" which helped me get over being nervous.
Who was that character from the old radio shows who had "The Power To Cloud Mens Minds" ? It was sorta like that. My being in "The Fog" made me feel like nobody else was around and I could do as I wished.
Have I used that same "FOG" to rationalize some spending? Yes. Do I regret it? Yeah kinda. Am I trying to be more responsible with my spending? Yeah. Do I always succeed? Not always.
It's state of euphoria. Like a kid set loose in candy shop.
Hi Phyliss-
It was The Shadow. Way before my time, of course.<G>
Hugs...Joni Mari
[QUOTE=Phyliss;1850135]Long live "[SIZE="4"]THE FOG[/SIZE]". .
Who was that character from the old radio shows who had "The Power To Cloud Mens Minds" ? It was sorta like that. My being in "The Fog" made me feel like nobody else was around and I could do as I wished.
[QUOTE]
For me (JoAnne), it's "REAL" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been in for two years and I don't ever want to find my way out. It is REAL ! It is not an excuse.
JoAnne Wheeler
I don't need a fog to justify my dressing nor do I consider it irresponsible. For me dressing is a personal and private choice and I shove it in no ones face. The resources I squander are also my personal choice and though I don't spend much if I chose to I would and again a personal choice shoved in no ones face. I think most of us that dress are careful with our money. We may wish for the moon but settle for a lot less. And how do you know how much restraint any of us show? It is probably a lot more than you give us credit for.
Vieja
It would be interesting to see some real academic research into the issue, but I'm guessing they would class it with other similar obsessive-compulsive behaviors.
The problem I have with this particular oc behavior is this. I truely love getting out in the wilderness for several days on a backpack trip. But if I have been without that opportunity for an extended period, I don't get a "green fog" that results in a camping tunnel vision. There are other activities and behaviors that are very meaningful to me, right up to providing some of my core self definition that don't produce a reaction similar to a "pink fog". Also, I can't think of anything else in my life that results in an obsessive-compulsive response other than crossdressing. For me, it's real. Is it a strange behavior that I have developed as an excuse to meet this need? Maybe, maybe not.
+1. When we finally find someone who accepts our crossdressing, it's such a relief that we feel we can finally express all the female things about us that we have kept pent up for so long, and it all comes out like a flood. It's similar with other emotions. Whenever you keep something suppressed for a long time, when you finally get to express it, the feelings overwhelm everything else for a while.Quote:
Originally Posted by DonnaT
I know because I read the posts written by the self centered selfish twits who wine, moan and complain, about how their wives just don't understand that they cant help themselves.Quote:
Originally Posted by El.Vieja
You know what I am talking about if you have spent any amount of time at all on this form. If it wasn't so sad it would be downright laughable.
You all go on and on about how this is a hobby, its not a sexual thing, I am not gay, its just about the clothes. Every other word is some description trying to convince anyone who will listen that this is just some static activity that has absolutely no influence on either your own personal being, or anyone else around them.
So If all of these things are true if crossdressing is as simple a thing as model ship building . Then it should stand to reason that anyone who would indulge to excess forsaking family happiness and well being. Is selfish, and undisciplined.
This nonsense about "I am in a Pink Fog" she really doesn't want to deal with me in a dress but I am in a pink fog" I shouldn't by this I cant afford it but "pink fog"
What errant nonsense
If you want to be treated like women grow up and act like them!
All these posts!......:brolleyes:
I thought "pink fog" was merely a phase....like tonight, for instance, I feel like eating sushi, so I guess that puts me in a "sushi fog'
In Jersey, no one pumps gas....look on the bright side NJ pays 30-40 cents less per gallon than NY, and it's all full-serve.Quote:
:doll:Jersey Girl's don't pump gas.
pink fog nrver heard of it. I have been a cd since was 12/13. Ok I guess I am in a pink fog from chilhood then. My wife was my best friend before we got married and still is. I was wearing female cloths then and now. I am full time agian I have been in the closet at work and my neighborhood. Well no more closet I'm out. I have3 never liked men clothing and still don't. I love dresses my fav. I love the feeling of the way I should feel. Have I spent some funds at bad times yes have I forced myself on famaly and friends yes this is my lfe not anyone elses! People have the wright to like or not like what ever they want. As long as it don't get violent or predgudism I'm fine with my actions. My job should not care as long as I do my job. If this is pink fog well so be it. I love me not as a man but as a female.
[SIZE=4]PINK FOG? Real or not? Well when I first joined here was when I first heard of it. Back then I thought of it as a mythical sort of thing, something that really did not exist. Now that I have been around a while and have progressed in my CD'ing habits. I have seen the fog first hand and one really has to be careful when i the fog. If not, it can become all consuming. Have I spent too much at times? Yes. Have I shoved it down others throats? I hope not. I try never to push my own beliefs or views on anyone. If my being out, and dressing in front of others is being in their faces with it. Then it is their problem and not mine. I have the right as a human too be happy, with this right I can dress when and where I want. My wife and most everyone I know is supportive of my duality. So if someone is offended by my dressing than this person needs to check themselves, for I have done nothing to them. I have only expressed my self. As humans we have the basic right to express ourselves freely as long as it does no harm to anyone else. So IMHO the fog is real, and something I try not to let take over me. I think the fog (as most everything in life) can be a good thing in moderation. It has driven me to explore my femme side more often and with more enthusiasm. Especially since coming out. [/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"]I agree with you Bethany. The[/SIZE] "PF" [SIZE="2"]is real. I can control myself pretty well I think. I do not over spend or loose control about dressing time, but it can be all I think about at times in the[/SIZE] "PF".
Your right, and I have been caught in it for several days. Might find my way out by Monday morning.
Molly
Oh it's real alright. How you handle it is another story. It can be all fun if you stay in control, or it can take over all by itself.Like a drug.
Oh, wow. It was nice knowing you before you get tarred and feathered and run out of here on a rail, but for what it's worth you get a standing ovation from me. Certainly MissConstrued and possibly one or two others are behind you all the way.Quote:
Originally Posted by DaphneGrey
That was FANTASTIC. It's getting so when I see the phrase "pink fog" as a self-description I just roll my eyes and lose all faith in the poster's credibility or common sense.
Oops, they'd better save some of that tar for me.
They'll have to tar me too because I absolutely agree with you both. I really hate too when I see people regularly talk using their female name as if talking about someone else in the third person. As if something I do while "Alyssa" isn't something I need to be held responsible for as Ryan. That's ludicrous.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ralph
the "Breaking fog" joke that was made was funny, and yes it was a far fetched example, but let's take it from a much more realistic example:
Imagine someone describing a fog coming over them that made them want to drink. They shun their responsibilities and spend too much money on alcohol. Their relationships are damaged because they're drinking too much. It's gotten to a point where there's really no situation where their drinking isn't an issue in some way. Their wife just doesn't understand it, they just like to enjoy a drink now and then, come on it's ok!"
Sound familiar to anyone? That fog is called addiction. Crossdressing is perfectly fine and a healthy activity when we are the ones in control, but just like anything else, it can become excessive and can become a detriment to our lives if we let it control us.
I could care less about being tarred and feathered, This is a public form and I am stating my opinion. The truth is I don't come here for validation. So tar and feather away!
I agree that it is an excuse...It is used too much as a crutch for thier actions. I use the term when Steph gets totally self centered and can only see herself and think of herself....its kinda of a nicer way to explain then using other terms..if you know what I am getting at:raisedeyebrow:
also fog used as a noun means the following: a state of mental confusion or unawareness; daze; stupor:
When you are shopping or something..pink fog has nothing to do with it...
Pink Fog ... to me is about being "lost in the fog" and this fog is "pink" because it's got a feminine accent to it.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is when a person has repressed their feminine expression for so long, and then they finally get to embrace it, it's like a sling shot and a "green light" (as it were) to be allowed to dress and express themselves. The trouble is they get so carried away with it all that they loose sight of reality or the life they have around them (family etc) and they get "lost in the fog" and can't find their way to what was previously "rational thinking" as far as others are concerned. They seemingly spend too much time, money, and energy on their CDing but to the detriment of the rest of their life. It's especially difficult if it negatively impacts your SO or your family. :2c:
:lol::lol2: :rofl: sorri for cracking up here.....Racheal oi just lerve how you explain Your "pink fog"
Pink fog to me is all hogwash, my ever loving CD'er agrees,Quote:
Kolokea : I agree that it is an excuse...It is used too much as a crutch for thier actions. I use the term when Steph gets totally self centered and can only see herself and think of herself....its kinda of a nicer way to explain then using other terms..if you know what I am getting at
also fog used as a noun means the following: a state of mental confusion or unawareness; daze; stupor:
since being in this forum and reading about pink fog, it can be very real to those CD'ers that say they suffer this, all it is that I see and have read...... all rashionality and reasonability, and sensibility ...goes out the window, also Kolokea says that I have quoted above.
When some of the CD'ers I read about in here,and please note guyz n gals "SOME" not all, I see that some are happy with their femme/guy selves, they dont have those moments...laffing...
Geeze oi wish & im sure some of the other GG's would agree that they the CD'ers/TG's etc....would have what "SOME" of us women, (now I have never suffered this) suffer like ... PMS... labled another way could be ( Putting up with mens *hit) or the other Hormonal changes for later life changes, that we go through of power surging,...which i know some women go through is very hard, and badly.
(in some cases men/partners/Cd'ers what ever need to wear hard hats...laffing....:tongueout)
good on you daphne I commend you for the start of this post now you come under the "SOME" that are happy who you are and have no PF issues....lol;):battingeyelashes:Quote:
Originally Posted by DaphneGrey
Quote:
Originally Posted by deborah jane
cracking up here debs... yeh we know about sheila hahahaha getting into it with ya :tongueout just lerve her pink tops etc....:love::tongueout:devil:
I actually heard it on the weather report one morning:
"Today, we will have PINK FOG, which will be intermittent for the next several decades. Please keep your headlights on while driving."
For me, it's more about the desire to dress. That's it. Call it whatever. Sometimes I have it, sometimes not. Sometimes I WISH I had it more than I do. Probably, that's guilt about having a closet full of stuff I have no desire to wear at the moment. I guess that's some sort on inverse pink fogishness or something.
God, we're all weird, aren't we LOL.
I don't think it is the people that refer their own crossdressing as a hobby that tend to use the Pink Fog excuse. I am one of the "my crossdressing is a hobby" crowd that sees my actions as a choice and would not use the Pink Fog excuse for the choice.Quote:
Originally Posted by DaphneGrey
I liken this CD feeling to a character actor that plays a role long enough that he starts to believe the character is themselves.Like a CSI tv actor chasing police sirens in real life,thinking they need to be there. And,as far as restraints on buying or doing things,again,it is the force of the role playing and that varies with people.We all want to be pretty girls in the "life play" and the expensive purse is just a stage prop. Great fun as long as no one gets hurt! Enjoy your girl time,life is too short.
Don't mess with the forces of the universe!!!
.................................................. ..................thanks.....ORCHID
I too have experienced it and it has created a lot of suffering within me. Suffering because for the most part, I have traditionally resisted it. I finally reached a point where it simply hurt too much and I gave in and accepted who I am. From that point on, the fog has been clearing and I am returning to a nice, comfortable balance point.
Thus, I think the pink fog has a purpose, it's trans-formative. It's ultimate purpose is for you to accept who you are with respect to feelings of gender. Once you do, it no longer blinds you.
I agree with Meri. I think it's just a friction between what you want in life and how you're living it. If you're getting pink fog to the point that the OP describes, something fundamental in your life is wrong and needs to change. If you have a longterm intractable cocaine addiction, something is fundamentally wrong in your life and needs to change. It can be difficult to make these changes because we're talking about changing ones entire lifestyle and outside persona. A lot of people just won't know where to begin. I understand the feeling, I used to get it. I hated myself and was miserable. When I finally figured out who I was and accepted it, it pretty much went away. My reasons for how I dress are different now. I'm not saying everybody has to transition, but when you take your female side out of the box and play with her for a few days, and then put her back into the box, it's not a reflection of what's going on in your mind. Just fold her into your everyday life and it will be easier. :hugs:
What was the TG attempted suicide rate again? oh yes? 37-43% in Australia compared to the cis/straight norm of 8%.. and studies have it up to 54% elsewhere.
We are dealing with a community under a very real very pervasive degree of severe psychological stress with very real mental illness results that are far worse than the same phenomena well observed amongst gays and lesbians and bisexuals and for the same reasons.
Pink Fog is a consequence of severe repression of an intrinsic trait.
Its the difference between those who kill themselves, those who kill others of us and those who keep going.
Its the result of bottling things up then releasing the pressure. Without a safety valve you get an explosion... you get suicide or transphobic hate-crime.
Stop putting things under pressure and there's no bursts of steam, no explosion.
You dont get stats like 4+ times higher attempted suicide rate in a community from an excuse!
Intolerance and unacceptance and lack of self-acceptance about transgender kills.
For me the "pink fog" describes the times that a preoccupation with crossdressing/gender identity issues clouds one's judgment of how others will react. In hindsight, the sufferer can clearly see where he screwed up - but at the time it seemed like the logical thing to do. That's not an excuse, it's the truth.
The one time I experienced the pink fog, I came out to the family members I was living with (and heavily subsidizing) with the expectation that they'd be accepting. Oops - time to find another place to live. In hindsight it was obviously stupid, but at the time it seemed like a good idea...
This is a good discussion and I believe it gets to the root of what is really happening behind the scenes. Many say CDing is "just fun" and it's a lark. If they truly believe that, then I am happy they are spared some of the suffering. For me, it's been self-discovery and the pink fog has been part of this experience and very real.
I have often wondered if we are all called to CDing for the same purpose -- self discovery. I also wonder aloud if anyone really believes it's just for fun and that's all this is about. Do you?
"+1. When we finally find someone who accepts our crossdressing, it's such a relief that we feel we can finally express all the female things about us that we have kept pent up for so long, and it all comes out like a flood. It's similar with other emotions. Whenever you keep something suppressed for a long time, when you finally get to express it, the feelings overwhelm everything else for a while. "
In my opinion, this is the best description of the Pink Fog.
Thank you all for your responses! this was a good discussion and an important one. There were some great posts and I want to thank everyone for your frank and honest answers. Once again it becomes apparent the great differences we all have along this gender spectrum.
.... and here I thought that the Pink Fog referred to occasional ditziness and blonde moments..... thanks all!
Claire
It could be a little of both, but as for me, the Pink Fog is real - I have been lost in it for over two years now and I do not want to leave it - it has caused my feminine self to progress to new levels and I'm still moving upward.
JoAnne Wheeler
Pink Fog...it is merely a label of a condition. Calling something by a label neither affirms or denies it, it is just a label. It is the action itself that earns the label, not the acknowledgement of it.
To me pink fog describe a condition where you obsess over everything feminine... But an excuse to squander family resources?? I don't get that one at all!! It's no different than having a hobby that doesn't include the rest of the family!! If money is a concern then...... "Put that fishing rod back and don't you dare buy those barbells!!". Lol Irresponsible people do stupid things no matter what clothing they wear! And apearently don't need an excuse to do it either!!
If there is a pink fog for me, I made it myself. Sometimes I just dress automaticly, halfway through dressing I start wanting it bad. After I'm dressed I'm liable to do anything including shopping.