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Do not overdress...
Every so often, we read about someone getting all dressed up and going to WalMart. They get a rush or scared or chicken out, you know the stories.
Ummm, folks, No need to put on your sunday best to go to WalMart.
When I go to walmart, I may or may not even bother with deoderant or combing my hair.
:heehee:
Nicole,
Please please don't take this wrong but you prolly fit in with 85% of the people there, or at least at the ones here in do dah...
April
Nicole, I agree to not put on your Sunday best at Walmart, buy IMO no one can go wrong with deodorant and hair combing! :) I guess even a pair of earrings, some mascara & lip gloss would be OK.
... and, well if the top was cute and went well with the jeans, and the shoes & purse were casual but nice, it would be OK too? :D
:hugs:
I once dated a GG who would not walk to the mailbox at the end of her driveway without lipstick and styled hair. That was nearly 30 years ago before WalMart came to our area.
That is why I don't get why people think it is so hard to pass.
I know. Some folks are like my late Mother in law. She wouldn't even come out of her house without a dress, stockings, heels, lipstick and mascara. To each their own, I guess.:)
maybe it dosnt elude them, rather that they want to do their own thing huh.
I'm confused! I thought a business suit could be worn to Wally World. Especially if the time is around getting off work time. I just never realized that Wally World had a dress code!
I think that if you wore an evening gown everyone would notice you though. I guess you're really saying blend in and you will be less noticed.
Edy
Hi Nicole,
First, I love your name, were you named after someone older yet still sexy?? :battingeyelashes:
Actually, I am one of those girls who goes out somewhat over dressed. I just love being a girl and dressing like one. For me that means dressing in a skirt and blouse or dress and heels. If I wanted to wear pants and snickers I could just go out in drab.
Now, I'm not saying that I put on a cocktail dress or evening gown when I go out shopping, hmmm, do you think I could get away with it, :battingeyelashes: but I do get dressed, apply my makeup and style my hair before I venture outside.
My only exception to this is early on Saturday or Sunday mornings when I visit the outlet malls or flea markets. At these times I will wear a pair of pants, but they have to have a flat front and side zipper and a pair of flats, but still full makeup and my hair done.
Nicole
You bring up an interesting point Nicole.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicole Erin
This issue likely confounds or has confounded many of us at one time or another. I think it may partially be a matter of what people have available clothing-wise, skill/confidence in whatever makeup they are wearing, and especially the issue of people just trying to figure out what presenting "female" means to them. Occasionally these factors swirl into the perfect storm of awkwardness and contextually inappropriate dress.
You suggest that this problem is largely avoidable. A pony-tail and sweats will go pretty darned far towards the goal of blending-in with the crowd in many places; evening wear and the like need not apply :).
I generally agree with this idea, but also wonder how difficult it is for some of us to pull off a more "natural" look? In my own case, I suspect that I can put together something that would do just fine for a trip down to the store (notwithstanding my acute case of closet-itus ), but I would still be a little freaked out by the diminished amount of makeup that I'd also have to sport to match. Does that make sense?
Mel ;)
Yeah, I can do the "cocktail dress, high heels" thing, ....but is it necessary for grocery shopping?
The more I find myself going out and running simple errands, the more I realize that a plain knee length skirt, loafers with a 2" heel and an "off the rack" blouse works quite well. Adjust the wig, and comb it out, apply a bit of powder and a wipe of lippy, earrings optional.
Just go about my business and have fun.
Not attempting to "blend in" nor am I getting "in your face" just another person doing what they need to do. I simply choose to wear what I feel is comfortable.
Had another girl tell me today, "wish I had your courage" ... it ain't so much "courage" as it is not letting others tell me what I can and cannot wear.
I prefer to not dress up for walmart. Denim skirt and short sleeve femme shirt, hair done to the sixes
I never shop WalMart :)
I shower and shave at wally world.
Other than that I gurrella shop.
I know the store lke the back of some.... well it eludes me,
But I don't like wally world so the quicker I'm out
The better for everyone concerned.
I love the shoppers who are making wally a life event
RJ
I totally disagree!! No friggin way am I going to go out anywhere in jeans or casual just to blend in with the crowd!! I can't help it of they dress like rubbish?? So I'm wearing a skirt or a dress.. No not a cocktail dress.. And even though I maybe the only one in the store wearing a dress.. I really don't care.. if I want to dress like crap I'll just go in guy mode.. What's the sense of crossdressing if you look like a guy?? Lol.
Wal-Mart customers....so many gums so few teeth !!!:tongueout
Ummm, because no matter how much I dress up or dress to blend in, people call me "Sir" -- even if I've just been sitting still and not talking and the light is poor ?Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorileah
Some of the most expensive things I have bought have been plain-looking dresses, chosen not to look out of place in a grocery store or on the bus or out for casual dinner. In stores, "plain and simple" translates into "expensive and hard to find".
Yeah, I could buy some of the inexpensive loud-print thin low-quality rayon-dress-of-the-season from Sears or the like (easy to find and inexpensive) -- but I don't actually see very many women around me wearing those.
The easiest kind of dresses to find, by far, are the "grad" or "cocktail" dresses aimed at senior high school, and which are most definitely special-occasion dresses, not something one would wear to a grocery store.
Don't get me wrong: it isn't that all these people who read me so easily treat me badly (indeed, they treat me better than my pre-dressing drab self was treated), it's just that they are reading me, even when I dress "casual".
But at this point in the conversation we get into the question about what it means to "pass". Is "passing" when most people believe that you are female, or is "passing" when most people don't give a hoot what you are, or is "passing" when anyone who bothers to look can tell you are male but most people's eyes just "slide over you" because you are "close enough" that you don't come to their conscious attention?
When I go out trans-gender (forms, female clothes, but no wig and little or no makeup, so it's my normal guy face), it isn't uncommon for women (especially mid-40's women) walking by themselves towards me, to glance at me, give me a quick once-over, and flash a smile. When they do that, have I "passed", or are they just appreciating that I'm "walking a mile in their shoes" -- or are there many more "I like a guy who cross-dresses" suburban women than we think?
Why dress down to go to a "Bargain Shop" when you could dress nicely and go somewhere more worthwhile?
Personally, I find it a waste of my crossdressing time to dress up for such a drab place.
My wife is a lot like that, certainly not to those extremes, but she is a femme girl, almost never wears pants to work, almost always wears heels of some sort, always has her hair "done" in some fashion, she wears hats any time she thinks she can get away with it. She stands up for, and enjoys being clean, looking well put together, and ladylike. We are not fuddie duddies, she is 37. This is unusual for our age group most of whom seem to have fallen prey to the "casual friday / sloppy all the time" look and mindset. She takes grief for looking well put together, for not conforming to the status que, and is often asked what she is "dressed up" for.Quote:
Originally Posted by Elsa Larson
Here is the rub:
She isn't trying to pass.
If I were to dress as she does, I would get grief too - but it would be completely different grief.
Ah, but since it is a place that a lot of women go, if you want to be a "typical woman", doing "typical" womanly activities... going to Wal*Mart becomes part of "the experience of being female"... like getting accustomed to being expected to be the one changing the diapers.Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Chantal
My sister and I werelaughingtalking about this, she told me of a website...
Now I am not for graven images but ladies and gents, I hath found a photo on there of - Mullet Christ
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=3889
Someone commented he was the chuck norris of mullets but that doesn't do this 'do justice.
In a lot of ways, my late wife was similar to Hope's! She did wear stretch pants back in the 60's, when it was fashionable for ladies to do that. But she was always more comfortable in a nice dress, with nice makeup and a nice hair style. No matter where she was going. When she reached the kitchen to get brakfast, she was dressed like the lady she was. And she taught me to dress like that also! Of course, not she is no longer around to do my makeup and fix my wig, I go to Wal-Mart, or anywhere else, as a guy in a skirt and pretty top! Like Karren, I am not going to dress down just because of where I am going!
BTW, those stretch pants I mentioned? My darling wife bought a pair, but didn't like the fit. I made a pattern for her and she made her own pants.
Some of her friends liked them so well I wound up making patterns for each of them, about 15 ladies, each one custom fit! Wish I had charged them! But then I probably wouldn't have had the fun of taking measurements!!:D
I noticed something, as well.
If you're trying to look like a woman, do not wear a muted pink bra, sky blue blouse, flowered skirt, and red heels while you're seductively hanging off your desk chair. I know that you're doing what you can with what you got, but no woman would ever dress like that.
It's not always about how much you physically resemble a woman. Most of the time, it's just about whether you look like you're pretending or believing that you're a girl.
Also, never fart. Girls don't fart. Everyone knows that. :raisedeyebrow:
What she said!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
Tiffany
Let's talk practical, rather than theoretical or people's various philosophies. Down here in Florida, women shopping wear about the same thing whether they are shopping at Wally World or at The Galleria.
Standard "Uni," is either Capri's or Jeans and a shapeless top. Variations: 1.) If your young, you get to wear an abbreviated or tight top and sometimes you wear heels. 2.) If your older, you can wear polyester pants or really shapeless jeans.
Little or no makeup unless young, but strangely enough almost all women pay a lot of attention to their nails.
Exceptions: 1.) Edyta already named one, after work! Usually between the hours of 3 to 7 PM, you see a minority of women who are wearing something that looks approximately like office attire. 2.) The one everyone has forgotten...it's acceptable to wear a dress or skirt to Wally World after 11:30AM on Sunday, until about 3PM. Why? If you haven't figured it out, they are coming from Church.
Glad I could be of service. And that my Dear's is how you become "blendable!"
Peace and Love, Joanie
Wonderful, wonderful post! I great point and one I am sure we all could easily feel guilty about if we let it get to us.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hope
Meghan
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicole Erin
[SIZE="2"]I was in Wal-Mart yesterday, and I saw a woman wearing a beautiful skirt – mid-calf length, with a floral pattern in blue. She also had gorgeous hair, jewelry, painted nails, and a lovely handbag. I was so shocked to see someone who bothered to dress stylishly that I almost ran right into the Hydroxycut display! :heehee:[/SIZE]
The wisdom of Auntie KarrenQuote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
Yep, definately with Karren here. I'll dress how I want to heck with everyone else. Some days I want to pass so I'll dress slightly down, somedays I want to be seen so I'll dress up. Who cares?Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
Wow, I could have predicted the responses to this thread without even the aid of my all-knowing Magic 8-Ball. You got your folks who immediately dismiss anyone who goes to Wal-Mart has subhuman scum lacking teeth, your stereotypes about mullets, your folks who criticize others as "trashy" for not wearing makeup and expensive clothes... didn't we just have this conversation a couple of weeks ago?Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicole Erin
I was glad (and somewhat surprised) to see some replies that agree with you.
Seriously, gang, lighten up. When you mock or belittle someone because their clothes aren't as nice as yours or they wear a hairstyle you don't find attractive, how do you make the world a better place? And then you get offended when others mock us because of what WE wear. Woe unto you, you hypocrites.
I don't quite get your point..... Is there not as many men, boys, and girls parading around town while sporting Walmart fashions? When I went to get my dog some treats from Walmart today, I noticed that both genders were represented quite evenly.Quote:
Ah, but since it is a place that a lot of women go, if you want to be a "typical woman", doing "typical" womanly activities... going to Wal*Mart becomes part of "the experience of being female"... like getting accustomed to being expected to be the one changing the diapers.
And well going to Walmart, grocery store, shopping mall, or even doing "typical" everyday things is not worth MY crossdressing time and efforts. It is not a necessary part of "the experience of my crossdressing"
On the money Karren. That's the way I feel too. Either do it right or don't do it at all.Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
Kerry
Well said Ralph.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ralph
And yet you are the one who complains at our meetings about people not cross-dressing to do "ordinary" things like going to museums or the various festivals, that too many people just dress for the clubs and events like The Ball. You are contradicting yourself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Chantal
Going to Wal*Mart, grocery stores, shopping malls (not just to shop for new clothes), taking the city bus, is part of cross-dressing, at least for those who wish to be perceived or treated as feminine by the general public.
You have said before that you "like to be read", because that helps show that cross-dressers are ordinary people going about ordinary things, not just overdressed over-makeup'd drama queens. Since the ordinary person goes to Wal*Mart or similar, goes to grocery stores or Home Depot, if you want to convince the ordinary person that we too are ordinary other than in how we dress, then you would cross-dress to Wal*Mart and similar places that everyday people go to as a routine part of life.
I think I said it in another thread: cross-dressing just to go to the clubs and CD-accepting social events, is just a bigger closet. I don't go to many of those events, because my cross-dressing is with me all of the time. This afternoon, I didn't go into Seven-Eleven dressed up for the "thrill" of it: I went in dressed up because I needed milk -- little different than the reason the GG in front of me in line was there in a dress, just an ordinary person doing an ordinary thing.
But then, I don't think of "my cross-dressing time" as a special occasion, don't think of it as "quality time" that has to be used to best show off or do something special. My cross-dressing time is, instead, time when I finally get to dress as I want to / need to, to dress as I would routinely if I could. I know that you personally have no intention of transitioning or going 24/7, but to anyone who to whom going "24/7" is an attractive idea, dressing as part of your "everyday life" becomes important. I doubt that I would transition (at least not in the SRS sense), but I am, in a sense, working on my RLT (Real Life Test). By going out and doing ordinary things.
Once again, I agree with Karren! Life is short, live it the way you please, which includes dressing the way YOU want and shopping in the places that you choose.
Maybe Im a minority, but I like to fit into the place that Im going to. I find it fun and a challenge. I like to look stylish and nice but that doesnt mean I cant wear slacks or jeans or leggings and a nice top. My dressing isnt fetish so I dont have to always wear latex or girly dresses or ruffles or skirts or capris etc. I want to look as much like the female version of me I can in whatever i wear. Heck I would love to fingd a cute sweat outfit that looked nice on me and a pair of tennies and wear them out to the mall, with a nice baseball cap or scrunchie. Do I want to pass maybe but at least I want to look cute!
Like Tiffany, I tend to agree with Karren on this one. I don't crossdress to wear pants. But it's a personal preference and I understand the sentiment of dressing down in order to blend. But if there's one thing that Kimberly has taught me, it's to be comfortable in your own shoes. People are going to read you, and it's not the end of the world. Most of the time, they will regard it with mild amusement, and nothing more. You can still go about your business, and no one get hurt.
Speaking of hurt, the mullet was really unnecessary, Nicole. I can't get the image out of my head no matter how hard I scrub, and it hurts! It hurts! Owwwww!
I agree - I have never given them a dollar nor will I ever give them one in the future.Quote:
Originally Posted by MsArlene
I hear ya and agree Ralph. It seems like wal-mart is frequently a super contentious subject that drives ALL KINDS of issues, some of which you've highlighted. Egads.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ralph
I think the thread kind of has a few different themes running through it. The one that I focused on, and would like to reiterate is that dressing contextually has its benefits as far as blending in with the rest of the world goes.
In boy-mode (my nearly exclusive domain), I am not apt to suit up in my brooks-brothers best to head down to Pier-1 or Lowes just because I look really sharp that way :) (at least I think so). Alternatively, I am not about to walk out of the house looking like Tom Hanks in cast-away either. I pick something "nice," comb my hair, and make sure I take the necessary steps to ensure that my presence does not precede itself.... Why should that behaviour differ for going out in girl mode?
My point being that doing your best at looking great, and selecting your outfit/look to be appropriate for the day/event that you're going out for are not mutually exclusive. It seems to me that it is just normal behaviour (for lack of a better term). I read Nicole's original post to be on this point; in the context of subsequent posts I may have misread. Nonetheless, it would be nice if we could go easy on wal-mart shoppers (of which I am one, albeit only in boy-mode), and look at the bigger picture as Ralph has pointed out.
To me walmart will be the golden trophy.. I did wear my heeled booties in there but have yet to dress full up and attempt the store that way, and more likely won't.. unless I do it as a lark at Halloween night..
Look around you when you are in Walmart, K Mart, Target etc. You will see the occassional lady in a dress or skirt. They probably do geta little closer l
look than someone in jeans or sweats,ugh! And thats only because they are looking a little more attractive than most. Why can't I be that lady. A lot of the time I choose to do so!
so wear did you find side or back zipper pants i wood love to have some
Girls,
I've read a lot of advice on this subject over the last few days across crossdressers.com and other sites. I'm a 24x7 girl and have been for more than a year now. What I have learned is dress as you want, however do think on this if you want to "pass" or "blend"..
Look what GGs are wearing (particularly GGs of your age or perceived age).... you will find....
1/ Most do not "get dressed up" .. smart casual is the way to go.
2/ Don't use a lot of make up.. Have a good look at GGs you'll see that most don't use makeup to go shopping, and those that do usually use a little eye makeup only (Mascara and Liner) and/or a little lippy.
3/ No matter what your age, 5" hooker heels and a micro mini skirt will not make you blend! Nor will edwardian period costumes no matter how good you look!
4/ Hair is important, length doesn't matter, but if you have you hair cut short don't think that putting in some extensions at the back will make you look like a girl! Style it, but don't go OTT.
That all said, I have been shopping in 4" boots with fishnets and a mini skirt, studs around my waist, wrist and neck, with very dark makeup.... I drew lots of attention (ie didn't blend) but I did pass, because whilst I stood out, it was a Goth look, and there are enough goths around to not be too unusual, and the additional makeup is a given for a goth.
The pic on the right was taken at home after said shopping trip, minus the boots but with the addition of the new shoes I bought....
Oh and I'm 40, and if I can pull it off... :D
ROFLMAO!! You said it! This is so true in my neck of the woods!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tina P Hose
Firstly I do get the point Nicole is trying to make, and it is a tactic that works well. the Ball Gown for Walmart/Tescos is a phrase I have used here myself on occations. however I think the better example of this is dress for the place, not to be out of Place!Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
I picked Karrens comment, because I think Karren is the prime example of the perfect passer. if you look at her flicker or album photos, each of the outdoor photos show Karren nicely, and very smartly dressed, but no more than you would expect any other Fashionable woman to be wearing.
ie you can wear long or short skirts, boots, big hair and makeup, so long as you look good in it. (and Karren does) Also note we have no proof of her wearing her purple wig out in the combat zone! (She'll prove me wrong now, :))
I'm sure Karren will be the first to tell you, that no TV/CD passes out 100% of the time, but if you look good, and you look right most will not give you a second look, even if they have original doubts. Ie Karren is a prime example of the look, ie using clothes, a good wig, and makeover, and the right accessories to pass.
it doesn't matter if you small tall, short or fat, if you look the part, and play the part with confidence, you'll not draw the attention of others, in the same way, that you would if you wore a tu-tu to Tescos!!!
Wow, I'm so flustered considering that I'm very supportive of the local club and the BALL fetish events. There's possibly no one in the group that speaks as highly of them than me. The more crossdressing presence at the clubs and the Ball the better. Just because I mention many alternative places to wander while crossdressed does not mean I am frustrated (to complain) about the lack of interest.Quote:
And yet you are the one who complains at our meetings about people not cross-dressing to do "ordinary" things like going to museums or the various festivals, that too many people just dress for the clubs and events like The Ball. You are contradicting yourself.
Yes, that is for sureQuote:
You have said before that you "like to be read",
Your own words on an assumption, I presume.........Quote:
because that helps show that cross-dressers are ordinary people going about ordinary things, not just overdressed over-makeup'd drama queens
cause that is not one of the many reasons why I like to be known as a crossdresser when I'm enfemme. Maybe you misunderstood this statement that I had used before when talking about being read "I'm out there just enjoying who I am (a crossdresser) and what I love to do while crossdressed."
Clubbing with friends and CD-accepting social events are well worthy of MY crossdressing time and efforts. Socializing with people in a social atmosphere is a big part of my dressing.Quote:
I think I said it in another thread: cross-dressing just to go to the clubs and CD-accepting social events, is just a bigger closet.
Before moving to So Fla in 2005, I lived just south of Chicago. For a couple years I was afforded the luxury of being able to dress in public for 6 months of the year. By daylight I frequented malls, "trendy" clothing shops, Starbucks (YES i am ashamed of that now) gas stations/convenience stores, Marshalls . . . . . you get the drift. At that phase of my dressing the ONLY thing I would even consider wearing were mini skirts/heels, nylons (or tights), flashy tops, tight sweaters, etc. My favorite outfit was a red/black/white plaid mini, black tights and a black sweater with a "Christmas-y" sort of pattern on it . . . . . which I only wore at the end of the year.
Looking back on it, I CAN honestly laugh at myself for how goofy I certainly must have looked parading around a shopping mall in 4 inch heels and a mini skirt in the dead of a Chicago winter. And looking back on it I also realize now that 98% of GG's do NOT dress like that at the mall.
Nothing wrong with dressing as one sees fit, after all, this STILL IS the USA, no? But, shouldn't we dress appropriately for the event/location? And my question for Karen Hutton is: would you wear a micro mini and 5 inch heels to a wake or a funeral? If not . . . . WHY not? And if so, well . . . . more power to ya. And would you wear loose jeans and an Iron Maiden t-shirt to a formal dinner?
For Ralph: well said, my friend.
I haven't been shopping for clothes since I've been laid off, but the last couple things I did buy were capris and casual blouses. The best wardrobe, I think, is a [SIZE=4]sensible [/SIZE]wardrobe.
just MY :2c: . Thanks . . . . . . .
Leanne
I agree with Karren 120 %. The look is the thing. I know I'm not going to a formal occasion but I do want to be in a dress or skirt and blouse. Makeup and moderate jewelry. Casual heels. Kind of like I just got off from work. That is what feminine is to me. Otherwise, why bother.