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Ladies & Gentleman your attention please.
I do not mean to step on anyone's toes with this thread, I am just curious.
I do not see one, I have been happily married for 30 years, my wife knows but its don't see don't talk about it, my kids do not know, and I am OK about the status quo.
My questions are:
Do you see a therapist?
If so, does your SO know about your cd activities?
Has the therapist helped?
Again I don't mean to pry but I do see therapist mentioned in a lot of responses.
Love RJ
My wife accidentally discovered my "secret" 3 years ago and demanded that I see a therapist to rid myself of this horrible perversion. So, I did and it was a waste of time and money. The therapist really didn't seem to know much about our hobby. I think he was gay and probably didn't know why a guy would want to wear a dress. After three sessions, to his credit, he did say that he didn't really see anything wrong with me or wrong with wearing the clothes of my choice. This wasn't the outcome my wife wanted. So, I felt justified, she felt robbed of the money, and therapy ended. The best therapy that I have found is a bra, some panties, a cute dress, cute shoes, a mani and a pedi, lipstick, and a night out.
For me I do see a therapist and yes he has helped in not telling me what I already knew but confirming what I knew. You see my CDing was getting to the point I was not getting anything done and found I wanted more and did not know why. Through sessions and testing and group therapy I discovered where I was heading. The mental state I found myself in was that dressing wasn't going to be enough for me so now I'm in transition. Now that isn't for everyone but for me it was the natural progression. I hope if you have issues of gender identification you find someone who works in this envirorment and has the skills to help, not all therapists have those skills.
JMO Teri
I've considered it at times, but for the most part am fairly comfortable with who I am and where I am in life.
While I think that talking things out with somebody might be useful at times, money doesn't grow on trees so it is nothing that has ever been a high enough priority to budget for.
I am not seeing one right now. But I am in simular shoes as Teri Jean. I started out just cding but kept wanting more of it and its all I can think of doing. I want to get to a therapist soon. Money is the main issue. DyLen
Hi Rebecca Jayne,
I've been under mental health treatment for reasons having nothing to do with LGBT and TG/TS/CD reasons and I have been for years. I'd rather not say why. Most therapists are honest and hard working and all that good stuff and there are many of them who can be of tremendous assistance regarding LGBT and TG/TS/CD stuff. There are some therapists who are very squeemish about those kinds of subjects and they'll change the subject or get kind or annoyed if that stuff is brought up for the simple reason that they figure it's not their cup of tea and it's your business anyway. Back in like the 30's and the 40's people were sometimes diagnosed as bonkers and confined to institutions because they were gay or they dressed. This didn't happen across the board but I think that a kind of anti-gender-variant twist made it's way into psychiatry and psychology in those days so wealthy families could dump Uncle Jack who liked lingerie and tights into a hospital in the event that he stood to inherit a lot of money and a bunch of family members were looking to find a nondescript way to get him out of the way. This didn't happen en masse but it did happen to a few people here and there! Drastic changes in the treatment and the care of the mentally ill which took place over time in the 50's,the 60's and the 70's put a slow but hopeful stop to those kind of practices. If it matters,Rebecca,my SO is passed away now but she knew ALL about my CD'ing years ago and she was my greatest mentor.
Hugs, Salu, Samantha
Yes, i've been seeing therapist, for a long time. Yes my S/) knows about my Cding and supports me 100%.
The therapy has helpe d agreat deal, but its never been about my dressing up.
*hugs*
Zarabeth
Hi there,
Why should I want to see a therapist? Is there a suggestion that CDing is a problem? From my experience it's the therapists who are the problem.
Sam.
.
Thanks for a succinct reply to the OP, Sam. You almost took the words out of my mouth.
The one therapist that I've seen about CD'ing was about 10 years ago when I was still in high school. He needless to say was a very biased right wing religious psycologist. The only thing he did for me was waste my parents money and make me feel like crap on the inside. Guess that's one of the reasons I'm still so apprehensive about how I feel about this. Would be nice to talk to one who actually knew what he was talking about.
It's my opinion though that therapists can't help me at least. Personal experience and all that.
My husband and I are just starting 'Relate' counselling in the hope that this will improve things. He saw a therapist for years before we met and it doesn't seem to have helped us where we are now.
I see a therapist for part of the SRS requirements. I know who I am and the therapist agrees thank goodness.
I have seen a therapist,and she agreed that nothing is "wrong with me",it is who and what I am. My wife,on the other hand has her therapist,who doesn't see things the way mine does,so definately a problem issue between wife and me. Not sure where my Trans Journey will go from here.
In MHO a therapist doesn't really provide you with any answers. He/she will try and get you to do the talking and while doing that, the patient will realize some sort of "break through" juts jabbering on about it.
The other thing they'll do is try to medicate you. Aren't the MD's giving us enough drugs already?
My suggestion is to sit down with your SO or a good friend and a bottle of wine. Start opening up.
Wine is cheaper than therapy or prescription drugs and the worst you'll get from that is maybe a hangover.
On top of all that, what's wrong with dressing?
We aren't freaks or in any way mentally disturbed for wanting to just simply feel good.
Quit thinking so much and enjoy the ride.
Maybe her therapist should see your therapist.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darlene Rochelle
As for me, I get my therapy here, because I know I will be understood.
I think there are good therapists, and not so good therapists.
I did some research and found a therapist who deals with gay and gender issues in my area. She's a lesbian, and works largely with transgendered men, and to a lesser extent, crossdressers. I guess I wanted to see a therapist who had at least some real experience with CDing/gender issues, rather than some dopey guy or gal who just sits there and nods (they're out there)
I was at a point in my life where I had had a lot of failed relationships, and didn't want to feel guilty, or that something was wrong with me. I only saw her three times (she was out of my healthcare provider's network :Angry3:), but I got a lot off my chest, dealt with some mom issues, and she really helped me focus in on feeling better about myself. Most importantly, I left feeling that I could in fact have a normal relationship where I didn't have to go around feeling guilty (and angry about it).
Since then, I've come out to two SOs. It went over well with the first, took a while with the second, who I'm happily married to. The $250 or whatever it was, was money well spent.
Seeing a therapist is usually a personal decision..for ts women it's a required part of transition, but hopefully you can find a therapist that is predisposed to help you with transition..people see therapists for all kinds of reasons, and many get alot of help...others can't stand having the intrusion of a 3rd party into their lives
if you feel you can be helped by talking to a person that you are paying to advocate for you (especially if you are insured), why wouldnt you?
of course, if you don't feel you can be helped, why would you?
potatos, potatoes:)
Nope... Since I totally accepted who I am a long time ago... I feel I don't have any unresolved issues... I do see a power skating specialist from time to time... To work on making my power starts more explosive and faster in turns.. But don't tell anyone!! :)
[SIZE="4"]Honest answers from all of you, that's what I love about this forum.
Seems that the consensus is what I already knew, already felt.
Don't worry, be happy
And that's what I BELIEVE WE ALL ARE.
May all your dreams come true.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]I see a therapist everytime I work in one of the salons I work in. She works next door and drops over from time to time to have coffee and talk about life, usually hers... she has never asked about my dressing..[/SIZE]
No. None needed. :D
I see a therapist....
....in the mirror, when I'm crossdressing :)
My wife nor kids know.
I went to a therapist once to make sure I wasn't crazy.:straightface:
Will probably go again someday, but with the economy I figure my money could be better spent on an outfit.:D
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebecca Jayne
[SIZE="2"]In my small world, “therapy” is a dirty word, and I cringe when I hear it. You see, I was shepherded into speech therapy sessions when I was a boy, a place where I cried a river of tears and received no actual therapy. I resist being forced through any kind of mold as a result – there’s nothing wrong with me, so please leave me alone! Just let me be among others without being singled out for being less than perfect, and I’ll be OK – I’ll show you…
When I was engaged a few years ago, my fiancée suggested we see a relationship therapist – she was concerned I wasn’t seeing things her way (about having a long engagement). We broke up soon after, not only because the word “therapy” conjures up bad childhood memories, but also because I don’t need a stranger telling me I'm too financially challenged to please her…
More than you need to know. Come to think of it, this post feels like a form of therapy! :doh:[/SIZE]
Yes, I've been seeing a therapist for some time, as a means of helping with my stress and depression issues. Really, she's just someone I can talk to. I don't like to talk to friends sometimes about things, too much of a bringdown for them I suspect. I think it has helped me get through some difficult times.
She's very accepting of my crossdressing, and I've been to sessions dressed a few times. That itself is a lift!
My spouse knows about my seeing the therapist, but we don't talk about it.
Michaella
Have you ever noticed that most of the people who recommend counseling and therapy are counselors and therapists?
I recommend paying for therapy out of your budget for clothes, shoes, wigs, and makeup.
No thank you, I feel fine!
Tina
The answer is no I don't. But, just today I was looking for one online and in the phone book. I told my wife about my desire to dress about 6 or seven months ago. The subject was never brought up again since then.
I got rid of all my clothes and makeup shortly after I told her..I wanted to stop and be the man she married. Well, guess what. Off to the store I go to buy new items this month.
When she got home I told her about looking for some help and she told me that my dressing was OK with her. There are alot of other secrets or feelings that I could have that could be alot worst. My desire is a little strange to her but she excepts it.
Jessica
You Bet I do....
The secret is to find the right therapist. One who help you find who you are, and help you accept what it is. One who will tell you what she/he can or cannot do. For me. it has been really helpful, and it is another reason to get "Dressed Up!". Insurance can be a wonderful thing. :thumbsup:
I am so thankful for my therapists. Even though they were Christian counselors, they were very professional and well educated (PHD's), neither condemning or condoning, but first helped me to discover self-acceptance through being open and honest with others and really "letting in" the acceptance and love others give. I found self-acceptance when I learned how to stand up and take care of myself by setting boundries, accepting personal responsibility, but mostly in relating to others in genuine listening to how others feel and letting that affect me, without controlling me. Also giving and taking and having a balance.
"If someone has an issue they want to work out with you, they have every right to tell you how they feel, they do not have the right to tell you how you should be". Dr. Joy Browne
I have seen a therapist to empty my head of crazy thoughts in a somewhat safe environment (sometimes we have things that just have to get out!). Never went to one for Crossdressing as I accepted that part of me a long time ago. My wife knows about my crossdressing and accepts it fully. I do not currently go to a therapist now and am not sure if I will in the future.
I did years ago at like age 4 and 5 and it was for my dressing but I can't really remember it and have no idea what he came up with
Do you see a therapist?Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebecca Jayne
> Not right now, but I have on occasion in the past. One in particular allowed me to dress for our sessions. It helped me a great deal in coming to terms with myself. (I guess I should say that I wasn't looking for "approval" other than from myself. I didn't feel that there were any easy answers ... I just wanted to be able to better understand myself.)
I do think about it now and again as my thoughts and desires seem to take me to an ever younger point, down to the point of being a young girl. I'm not sure what that's all about, but that's where I seem to be going.
If so, does your SO know about your cd activities?
> Yes. It was one of the first things I thought she should know. If a relationship is to be strong, I believe that it has to be fully honest and open. She understands and encourages me, although she finds the age regression part something "different".
Has the therapist helped?
> Yes, definitely. i certainly have a better understanding of myself. I am able to accept all of my persona as me.
Cheers!
Psychiatrist... Court ordered a few years back, but continued on my own afterwards. I still see her occassionally or talk to her via telephone as a patient or a friend. I credit her for my still being around today.
Kel
No really, I was abandoned in a psychiatric hospital by my mother and school counselor when I was 12, and emotionally tortured by therapists, nurses, and psychiatrists for weeks on end.
I don't have much love for them, at least in that setting.
Thank goodness for my therapist! I've been seeing him on and off for the past two years. He is a specialist in gender identity disorder and has allowed me to accept who and what I am. He's also gotten me to integrate the female portion of myself with the rest of me. I would not have been able to come out to my wife recently without my therapist. But therapy is not for everyone--it's working for me but may not for others.
Good one SamanthaQuote:
Originally Posted by Samantha Kelsey
Was in the closet until my therapist helped me to find the strength to come out to my wife about fifteen years ago. Now my therapy is found by buying a nice skirt which I find to be far cheaper than the therapist.
I attended marriage counseling, and then saw a therapist during the divorce, and at various times over the last couple of years. It helps to a certain extent to talk and get a fresh perspective. I'm looking to find a new therapist who specializes in gender identity issues, and think I may have found one, so we'll see how that goes.
I see a therapist...but it has nothing to do with my crossdressing :p
-Rachael
See one. Yes, every time I look in the mirror.
I couldn't afford one, but I had GI bill so I went to grad school and became one to get my own bricks stacked in reasonable order. It worked. Along the way since then I've had the honor and profound pleasure of helping other folk unwind their ball of twine and make some sense of their lives.
Along the way, I dismissed those who insisted that I "fix" them. What the great preponderance of people do not know and many refuse to acknowledge when informed is, the Doctor does not do the work to solve mental and emotional problems... the therapist only guides and encourages the patient to work out her own tangled mess. Granny
If you think you need someone to either agree with you( then why bother) or disagree with you (again why take the abuse) then you should seek a therapist. The best would be one that has gone (is going) through what you are, but then, they would have needed a therapist also. The ONLY way a therapist would be of any value is if YOU want to change in the matter you presenting. So if you believe that your dressing is a curse or a mental problem, then get the reinforcement you need. Even the TS's here really don't need that other person's permission to be who they are but due to the way the health care system is set up, they have to get that person's permission to continue down the road. Personally I would make a recorded loop of "how does that make you feel" "What did you think about that?" "uh huh" "I see" and "What would you do?" Most of the time you know the answer, they just help you find it. There are some things that therapy is helpful with but dressing isn't one in my opinion.
Well, you're going to dress if you don't have a shrink and you're going to dress if you do have one. What's the point? If it makes you feel better of trying to discover the "why" and looking for a "cure", fine, whatever floats your boat ... OR ... you can accept the FACT that you are a crossdresser, have been, will be, and have fun with it. It's all up to you, whether you just accept it or if you ignor/fight it. Best to give in, get dressed, and have fun doing it. Stay safe and good luck!
Yes totally let me give you her address: http://www.crossdressers.com
NO SERIOUSLY
I do not see one, I see no reason as I am fine and nothing is wrong with me. What is wrong is that society sees what I am as dirty, gay, homosexual, wrong, odd, pedophiliac, Bi-Polar.
It is society that needs a therapist, not me. :devil:
My wife and I enjoy both my feminine and masculine sides. Our marriage takes first priority.
Life is good. More time with my wife in both my genders would be great!!!
tina
I have never considered seeing one as I had been doing this all my life.
my mother dressed me as a girl since I was born she always told me it was ok she was my one biggest supporter. later my sisters always did the same if there was a way back then to go all the way I would have in the blink of an eye. to this day my family will still include something for me to use as jenny.
I wish everyone could have had the same experince. I have had consultataions regarding medical procedures like breast augmentation which it is a given that you lay on the couch and talk somebody about your expatations and concerns. I feel bad for girls that got nothing for their money. sometimes just having this type of format is the best way to know you are human and not somebodys secret.
I dont think there is anything wrong with CDing per say. The problem arises when it takes over everything else.
I agree that us GGs (if we decide to accept the CDing) should bd e open minded and allow our other halves to express themselves.
HOWEVER, I also think that the CDers should be thoughtful and sensitive to the GGs and understand that the revelation is often a major shock and allowing our other halves to dress is a HUGE compromise for us. The problems arise when the cross dressing takes over everything else, the pink fog takes over and nothing else matters. THEN I think that councilling can be helpful. I think this because I think that seeing a councillor can help give perspective about whats important in life. That dressing should be an important part of your life but not the ONLY part. That you can dress but not to the detriment of everything else in your life.
Im sorry if this is a huge sweeping statement. Im not labelling everyone who CD's. Im just going from my own experiences.
I dont mind my husband cross dressing and I dont think he needs therapy for that. But I do think he needs help to control it and to be able to function normally in other aspects of his life rather than everything being affected by his dressing. I feel like his dressing should be one aspect of his life, not affect EVERY aspect of his life which it is at the moment - in a negative way. For that I think he needs help - to balance it all out.
Does that make sense or do I sound like a horribly neurotic GG?!
Just because some of us choose to see a therapist doesn't mean we think there is something wrong with us that needs to be cured or that we're having problems accepting who we are. Maybe it simply helps to have someone to talk to about it. Maybe some of us don't have a strong support network that we can talk to where we live. These on-line web sites are a huge help in many ways, but there is something nice about being able to talk face to face with someone. And maybe some of us do feel it would help us to understand all this a little better, which I didn't think was such a bad thing. Congratulations to all of you have everything figured out and have all the answers. I guess some of us aren't as fortunate. Forgive me if I'm being a bit overly sensitive about this, but I thought we were here to support each other, so I don't quite understand why some people feel the need to be so judgmental.
I do see a therapist and the wife does know about my CD tendencies, but does not approve, at all. That is why I am seeing the therapist, at her request.
Did it help? Yes to some degree, but I was already comfortable with who I am. The only real problem I have is with my wife not accepting my desire to dress. I still do, without her knowledge, but it is hard to keep it from her, I just wish she would understand ME.