GG would like your help

Hi Everyone,

Please help me with my small dilemma.

When my husband and I go out and she is dressed and totally in girl mode, I still need to introduce her to people we run into. So normally i just say " this is my husband ,Tea"
It doesn't bother Tea,but there must be a better word to call her. I know I could just say "this is Tea" and leave it at that,but she is my husband, has been for over 30 years and I'm proud she's my husband.
Other than husband I use all the proper pronouns.

So please put yourself in my place, Then put yourself in Tea's place.
Can you help me with a better introduction?

Thank You,
Presh GG

What would Tea like you to call her when she is dressed? That really is a tough thing to decided, but I'm sure she would like the discussion.

"This is my companion." "This is my (girl)friend." Notice that all of those statements are not untrue. I am sure others will have better ideas....we will come up with something.

Peace and Love, Joanie

I like "this is my companion" or "this is my friend"; if it were me, I would like to introduced as "this is my friend, Linnea (or Linn)." I really appreciate how hard you are trying to find an appropriate and comfortable way to handle this--for both of you.

This is my mate? Or life-mate?

There are several words that you could use, like the ones that have already been mentioned. Myself, I would prefer to use spouse.

I'm having trouble with my own introduction to this group..

but that aside, it's still about what you two are comfortable with. Words are such simple, arbitrary things, sometimes these are just labels easily switched out or exchanged and holding the same definition.

But sometimes even as something so superficial as a title, they hold meaning and power. Maybe more for yourself, maybe more for others, maybe more for Tea - which has two or more sides to face with the question, what does he want, what does she want. Although maybe the same goes for you as well.

But I suppose that makes it seem more complicated than it actually is.

'course the sickening cutesy side of me is suggesting, "This is my honey/sugar, Tea" - a little cheshire grin to have fun with various interpretations of spouse or intimate bonds. Some play on words and innuendo can keep it fun, bring it down to earth and not take the word game so seriously, just keep it loving and real.

Spouse is a good one... Unisexish... Or I'd say "this is my better half, Tea" or this is my significant other, Tea".

"my dearest Tea"
"my beloved Tea"
"my right hand, Tea"
helpmate
darling
pet she-wolf?

"This is Tea and we have been married over 30 years and are looking forward to the next 30!" Let them read between the lines. That way you do not need to get husband, him, her, etc. into play.

I have been called "spousal unit" :)

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

I have been called "spousal unit" :)

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One of Two or Two of Two? Resistance if futile....

A very non gender specific word is 'Partner'. It lets people know you are in a relationship (or in business together, I guess :) ) without using the male pronoun.

"This is...." wait in silence for your spouse to introduce herself! :devil:

I would go for spouse or partner.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

I have been called "spousal unit" :)

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Now that's a new one I never heard before. :lol2:




Vicki :hugs:

hi this is my other half tea

I like "Tea-Wolf" LOL! :love:

In certain rural areas you could just say, "This here is my bitch."

Hi..
This will depend on the people you are meeting . close friends . they will know . or more likely know the names you use .
oh is your s o dressed all the time or just some times .
For people you know & they dont know she dress s then . this in my partner . or even very close friend .
for new people you meet . this is my friend .

The reason .
Jos & i were married for 35 years . & we had our marriage anuuld . about two & a half years ago . so for new people . Jos just say s this is noeleena . no other details are needed . we live in our own home . as ...just two women ... friends . not as a marrige there is no sexual detail . that stoped for me 11 years ago . Jos is 58 i m 62.
Even for me it s ...this is Jos .......
Because i was in the media . my profile tells you all about us . so for us our lives have been out there for people to see & i just say google my name .... so yes a bit different .
& really as i think about your ?? i m thinking ...this is my partner ...
all the best ....

...noeleena...

'this is my spouse' indicates you are married
'partner' indicates you are merely living together

Well, she is your husband. And she doesn't mind being introduced as your husband?

How the two of you decide to define her is more for the benefit of others than it is for yourselves. You both know you are married, you both are comfortable and happy with what's going on. We have different names for different relationships so as to communicate our relationship status to others. You are married.

Maybe the deciding factor should be whether the people you introduce Tea to know or sense that she is transgendered. If they do, I think "husband" would be fine. Then you will open the door for questions about the CDing, which can only be better for everyone involved.

If she is out and doesn't mind I guess it is alright to call her husband. It will get confusing if you call her husband, SO, etc. Either you are confirming she is a he which you may not want to do in that setting, or you are making yourself look gay which may make the setting uncomfortable too. Nothing wrong with being gay, but it has it's own issues in a group setting. If they are not people you frequent, I would just call her your bff, or friend. If it is a social environment introducing your spouse also tells everyone you are taken. Your husband is suppose to be your best friend just as a wife is suppose to be a best friend to a guy. Kudo's for supporting your husband on these issues. You may want to ask him what he prefers.

I like "my significant other", but spouse works just as well. :)

It is really good to hear that you are both happy and comfortable to introduce Tea as your husband or my husband Tea, i know introducing some one it is the right thing to do but in awkward situations i would leave it up to the other people to ask so putting the enthusiast on them if they wish to know

" This is Tea, my soulmate " ;)


BTW Presh, your Cat is so beautiful :)

I would go with Spouse. It is the most discriptive with out gender.

How about "This is Tea" and leave it at that. We don't always need to provide more information.

I like SheriM's reply :) this is how I introduce Nigella, now if later they ask more. then I say that she's my partner.

Hell-o, Let me introduce you to my dearest friend, and spouse. this is Tea, Tea this is Susie, gloria. don or whom ever it is you are introducing Tea to.
However, as stated above, IT SHOULD BE TEA'S CHOICE!

I really hope you and Tea talk this over and come to a resolution that makes you both happy. If you are looking for suggestions to discuss with her, how about, "This is Tea, and we have been happily married for 30+ years." No mention of gender and the relationship between the two of you is firmly established. My :2c:.

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Originally Posted by Miranda09

I like "my significant other", but spouse works just as well. :)

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We use SIGNIFICANT OTHER here, all the time!:D

It seems to cover ALL THE BASES!:heehee:

As others have already said, it is definitely "Tea's" decision as to what term you use to describe him when he is enfemme. When my late wife decided that the two of us should go out together as two girls, many years ago, she asked me how I wanted her to introduce me when we met people. A note here, when she passed a way we had been married just shy of 50 years. But what I am talking happened early in our marriage. I told her that I was her husband, regardless of what I was wearing, but that I also considered myself her girlfriend. She herself frequently referred to me as her girlfriend. With a lot of help from her I could become passable! So when we went out, she would introduce me as "her girlfriend, Stephanie!" If people questioned further, and few did, she would tell them that I was her crosssdressing husband! After all, that is what I was, and still am even though she is no longer here!

Simple...

"This is "Tea for two"....and then when that look comes over their face simple explain that she's both my husband and my girlfriend....thus the "Tea for two"....if that doesn't work then just say you just met her on the way in to wherever you are and let them figuire it out on their own...

I think SO or my life companion would be more appropriate.

It certainly seems that the two of you are very much in sync, which is why I'm so surprised that this is even a question to be asked. My wife, like you, is a complete part of my feminine side, so this issue, like all others, would be discussed before the fact.

It sounds like this has happened on numerous occasions so why not talk to your spouse so the two of you can decide and be as comfortable with this decision as you have, it seems, with all the others that needed to be made.

In my situation, Tina is a girlfriend, and I have a feeling that she would be introduced in that way. We very much separate husband from girlfriend.

tina

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Originally Posted by chris80

'this is my spouse' indicates you are married
'partner' indicates you are merely living together

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Not necessarily. We have common law marriages over here so (assuming that they are opposite genders which for some reason in the US we can't get past) they may be living together presenting as married (legal after one night in Colorado) and technically not have a marriage license. They could say spouse. Also in Colorado "Partner" doesn't even mean you are intimate :) Cowboys have partners who only ride along....or do they???? :) C'mon Pard...let's mosey on down the trail and I really like them there new chaps with the rhinestones...brings out yer eyes :)

Thank You All

Tea and I have talked about this. Trust me on that !

She just said " Whatever you like, Dear". This is why I'm comeing to you for suggestions.

I like soulmate! And the generic " This is Tea"

I guess It's just me [ not Tea] that feels 'Husband" doesn't work.

I'd like to know you would feel.

Thanks again,
Presh GG :hugs:

The two of you should come up with a female name for him when he is dressed. Then intoduce her as your best friend " ".:love:

Hi Sherri,

Tea IS Her Femme name. Has been for 20 years. She has a "guy" name too, but it's not nearly as pretty ! :)

Presh GG

There have been a few times that when my wife has been out with me strangers have asked about our status. Then the questions come at her, are you okay with this (with him/her being dressed), I couldn't do this and wouldn't let him go out like this. I can tell that my wife is uneasy about the way the conversation is going; hell, I don't like the way the conversation is going. What I suggested to my wife is that she just tell everyone that we just good friends; which we are. If there are other questions, just evade them.

[QUOTE=docrobbysherry;1969414]We use SIGNIFICANT OTHER here, all the time!:D

How come mine use`s INSIGNIFICANT OTHER :heehee:

I would suggest an introduction like

Have you met my partner Tea

I am sure you can give more details later if they are needed

Out here on the left coast we say my partner, or Significant Other, which I'm not to thrilled about that last one. Carol

I think SO or better half is good. I'd love to be dressed enfemme out with my wife, so Tea's got her/himself a great wife! :daydreaming:

My wife thinks significant other is too informal, and I happen to agree with her. You won't find me referring to her other than as my wife.

As for me, I would not mind if she referred to me as husband, when out with me enfemme. I don't try to hide who I am, since there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Maybe "this is my wife" ? :D

I would prefer "my life partner", but that's just me....