Has embracing CDing improved your life?

Girls, I have always had a hard time accepting my desire to dress. Stuffed it in the closet for years. Suffered quietly. Suffered loudly. Purged. Sought treatment. Briefly and furtively engaged in it. Felt guilty. Shoved it back in the closet. Desired it so hopelessly from afar. I'm sure most (if not all) of you have been there.

After decades of this yo-yoing misery I have to wonder how things would have been different if I could have simply embraced it and found a place for dressing in my life.

So tell me, for those who celebrate this lifestyle (and whom I admire so much), do you believe that your life is much better -- personally, professionally, health-wise, happiness-wise -- because you have handled it in an open and reasonable manner?

Have I wasted a lifetime by NOT being a self-accepting CD? I know (hope) it's not too late, but I have to find a reasonable solution and perhaps some happiness.

Now that my wife and daughters know about Stacey I do feel a whole lot better. I can be open about myself and not hide which is a wonderful feeling.

Self acceptance was merely the first step forward to a wonderful life. My life is so much better. I'm healthier, have great friends, more confident, and I can't even think of everything. But I do know, everything is better :)

I feel that my life pretty much rocks! Is crossdressing the reason? Not really. Is it a part of my happiness? Most definitely! By being me - and accepting myself as I am - life is just better and happier.

As my overall happiness spills over into my personal, professional and spiritual life, I would say that my crossdressing does have an impact. By accepting who I am, I am not in a constant state of depression and denial. Life just seems smoother when I get to "air out the girl" every once in awhile.

Does crossdressing throw up some obstacles in life? Sure. It's not all kittens and rainbows, but as a happier person I have a much larger reservoir of good stuff to draw from when hard times do strike.

So, for me crossdressing is a win-win.

Kathi

Overall... Not really... Except for one aspect.. Health and taking care of myself... I'm weigh less that I did when I graduated high school.. I eat better and take care of my skin.. Playing hockey helps on weight control and cardio.. Heart rate is 42 at rest... And I guess I could have accompished the same things if I didn't crossdress but that drive to fit back into a size 10 dress is big motivation that probably wouldn't work as well I I didn't crossdress??

It's not crossdressing as such, but if you try to repress a part of yourself that is really important, whatever it might be, it's going to have adverse effects on your general state of mind and wellbeing.
And yes, life is better now that I accept (and affirm) my crossdressing nature.

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

I feel that my life pretty much rocks! Is crossdressing the reason? Not really. Is it a part of my happiness? Most definitely! By being me - and accepting myself as I am - life is just better and happier.

As my overall happiness spills over into my personal, professional and spiritual life, I would say that my crossdressing does have an impact. By accepting who I am, I am not in a constant state of depression and denial. Life just seems smoother when I get to "air out the girl" every once in awhile.

Does crossdressing throw up some obstacles in life? Sure. It's not all kittens and rainbows, but as a happier person I have a much larger reservoir of good stuff to draw from when hard times do strike.

So, for me crossdressing is a win-win.

Kathi

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This is pretty much how I feel about it as well.:iagree:

[SIZE="3"]I think so. It's added a dimension that I probably wouldn't have had otherwise. [/SIZE]

New & improved!:)....can't complain.

One less skeleton in the closet.

It's become cheaper for me as I no longer need to purchase separate mens clothes and ladies clothes. I can mix and match when I like, although I tend to stay on the ladies side more.

As with everything, this lifestyle is a tradeoff.

The good: Finding this feminine side of me is a terrific adventure and helps me know who I am! I understand my wife better and topics of conversation most spouses never consider are grist for the mill for us all the time, from makeup to emotions! My health is improved, my skin is soooo much better as are my nails! I think life is even more exciting and interesting as well. I love both of my genders!

The bad: Holy cow this is really so involved! Learning to be feminine takes a lifetime under normal circumstances and here I'm trying to do it in a couple of years! Also life just gets in the way and there is never enough time for Tina. My wife even asked if Tina was jealous of all the "him" time! There is the expense...arg! Lastly there is the potential social stigma, who to tell and who not to tell, etc. This is not a lifestyle for the weak!

The thing is, Tina is here to stay! Much of the "bad" I've listed is now a thing of the past and we just move forward giving Tina as much time as we can!

:)

Tina

Embracing who I really am inside and accepting it has been one of the best things I've ever done. Now I am at total peace with myself. I love who and what I am. I wouldn't change me in any way.

On the other hand, it has lead to some frustration. That comes from other people embracing it...or not. Everyone I've told does support me but not to the extent that I would like them to.

The first thing everyone here has to do is decide what you want. You have to love yourself. Once you do that then you can move on to the second challenge which is having others love you. If you don't have your house in order then no one is going to love you for who you really are.

Kisses,

Allie

Not tripping over myself has proved enormously helpful in getting on with life.

its cheaper to just accept who we are instead of perging,i bet ive lost thousands of dollars over the years purging then rebuying my fem clothes.if you feel like stopping for a while just pack away your fem attire but dont toss it cuz you will find your self buying more at some point.and yes i feel free now that im out of the closet.my wife and her sisters know about jenifer but not her or my parents as they are old school and would totally not get it.although i think my mother might suspect cuz when growing up she caught me several times in her clothes,and stealing her pantyhose to wear to school.being out is the best thing for me in 30 years!

I can't even explain the process of rebirth that crossdressing led to in one post. It plays like a fairy tale, a long one.

It might have still happened without CDing. Right, and I might have been an astronaut, too.

CDer's look at themselves from many angles, and at first, they see someone else, someone impossible, yet fascinatingly compelling to them: their 'higher selves' calling from the ether, albeit shown through gender filters.

We live out a form of integrative psychology. We CD to become what we think we cannot, but could. Exploring that concept, (as Karen says, in an open and reasonable manner,) is only good for you overall. It expands your consciousness, and your picture of what is possible..

It's a rocky road, just like life, with many pitfalls and sidetracks to get stuck in. With us, the biggest danger lies in the levels of abstraction and meaning involved, being unable to let go of the notion of the physical, tangible, and personally habitual illusion of reality, which can arrest development.

It's never too late to start to live more fully. It doesn't take that long to change, it takes nanoseconds. Implementing the change becomes fun and challenging, with no real sense of 'too late.' That sense transforms into 'urgency,' a motivating factor.

I've always accepted who I am, so I can only assume that that has made for a better life as compared to the stories I hear from those who fight who they are.

Give it a try.

No it hasn't improved my life ,except i do look after my self better, hair,nails,face,etc.:drink:

Hi Karen
I would have to say that self acceptance is a very powerful step towards a happier , healthier , and more productive life and it is never to late to enjoy all of them.
Tomara

I personally feel that my life is greatly enhanced by embracing CDing. No frustrations about having to wear men's clothes or fear of exposure. I can focus on other things that matter, because both my SO and I are at ease with me.

As for "wasting" any time, whenever you reach that point of self acceptance, you're making a fresh start. Why worry about anything you've missed - instead concentrate on enjoying your future!

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

I feel that my life pretty much rocks! Is crossdressing the reason? Not really. Is it a part of my happiness? Most definitely! By being me - and accepting myself as I am - life is just better and happier.

As my overall happiness spills over into my personal, professional and spiritual life, I would say that my crossdressing does have an impact.[SIZE="4"] By accepting who I am, I am not in a constant state of depression and denial. [/SIZE]Life just seems smoother when I get to "air out the girl" every once in awhile.

Does crossdressing throw up some obstacles in life? Sure. It's not all kittens and rainbows, but as a happier person I have a much larger reservoir of good stuff to draw from when hard times do strike.

So, for me crossdressing is a win-win.

Kathi

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yep, couldn't agree more. The depression is a living he**.

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Originally Posted by karentvca

Girls, I have always had a hard time accepting my desire to dress. Stuffed it in the closet for years. Suffered quietly. Suffered loudly. Purged. Sought treatment. Briefly and furtively engaged in it. Felt guilty. Shoved it back in the closet. Desired it so hopelessly from afar. I'm sure most (if not all) of you have been there.

After decades of this yo-yoing misery I have to wonder how things would have been different if I could have simply embraced it and found a place for dressing in my life.

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You answered your own question here didn't you?

You say that hiding has been hard for you, misery even, and then compare that to those who are out and describe them as being more healthy... Now it's possible that there is a third option here - that the same variable that causes some people to come out is the same one that causes them to be happy, healthy people. But you can kill 2 birds with one stone here.

In my experience, people are always happier without secrets and lies.

In my experience, everyone is happier when they are honest with themselves and the world.

In my experience, everyone is happier out.

For me I am not out to my family however being able to go out into the public far away from home has been very healthy for me! When I am not able to be my fem-self for any long length of time I find that I get irritated more. Now I have found that after returning back I am tired and relaxed.

My life generally sux. I have a partner that wants nothing to do with my life. I live in a small town so i can't get out and about and i can't readily get clothes or shoes because of my size....6ft and 220lb. My moods are all over the place and i cry a lot. So ...no, being a cd has not improved my life at all.

Does feeling way happier counts as a huge improve? :)

It has improved me, but not my life. Yet, anyway.

Self-acceptance is a non-issue though, just not something I struggle with. I like this about me.

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Originally Posted by bron

My life generally sux. I have a partner that wants nothing to do with my life. I live in a small town so i can't get out and about and i can't readily get clothes or shoes because of my size....6ft and 220lb. My moods are all over the place and i cry a lot. So ...no, being a cd has not improved my life at all.

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Sorry, gotta throw down the flag on that one!

Bron, there are plenty of girls here that are tall and at your weight or larger - they even live in a small town and have spouses that do not approve. And yet, . . .

And yet they do go out. They do accept themselves. They do live their lives not in the shadows, but in the bright and beautiful sunlight. Bron, circumstances aren't what makes your life "suck" - it's your attitude on life, and what you do with those circumstances it hands you. Do you know what a self-fulfilling prophesy is? If so, realize that you have the power to change it. You, and you alone. Except, you're not alone - you have your friends here - the ones that have been exactly where you are now.

Kathi

Simple answer; YES. For the first time in my life I am proud of myself. And that hits everywhere.

I am 3/4 of the way completely out and feel much better about myself. There are a few friends that I would lose if they know for sure, although they must suspect.

Absolutely. In fact, there has been nothing but improvement since I first stepped out en femme almost three years ago.

I have dozens of friends and a rich social life and I've done hundreds of things I've never dreamed of doing before. I'm not saying there haven't been a few bumps in the road, but i wouldn't go back for anything.

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Originally Posted by karentvca

So tell me, for those who celebrate this lifestyle (and whom I admire so much), do you believe that your life is much better -- personally, professionally, health-wise, happiness-wise -- because you have handled it in an open and reasonable manner?

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Absolutely - no doubt in my mind whatsoever. For me, today I am very much living the life I have always dreamed of. I have an encouraging and supporting wife and it was her who made me realize that I should be embracing it rather than trying to deny it. Back then I thought it wasn't something I shouldn't be doing. The moment I accepted myself as I am and it was ok to be a feminine, my whole life changed for the better. :)

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Originally Posted by sherri

It has improved me, but not my life. Yet, anyway.

Self-acceptance is a non-issue though, just not something I struggle with. I like this about me.

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this is me too 100%

I believe that happiness in ones life is the single most important thing for overall health. Being happy eliminates stress, and living stress free is a huge factor for living a longer healthier life. That being said I have to admit that the last two years of my life have been bad in so many ways but at the same time good in so many ways. I have gone through a divorce, loss of time with my son but I have gained a wonderful caring and accepting SO who has embraced my femme side and has made me feel comfortable with trisha. she has encouraged me to explore my femme being, helped me with makeup, found this forum, taking me shopping, encouraging me to post pics and even giving me my girly middle name. I have experienced so much about my femme side and honestly it has made my inner being so happy. Almost like it has completed me. I feel whole.

There is no doubt that embracing my femme side has changed my life completely. i am somewhere in doubt about the dressing part for now, but internally i am a different person. I always overcompensated as a guy. did not have a nurturing bone in my body.. i was the disiplinarian to my daughter...the man of the house...typical ahole...now i am not afraid to show my feelings and i have finally learned how to listen, and i love house work, not afraid to cry. the women in my life love to talk to me and share advice...i am a different person than i was about 11 yrs ago.

maybe i'm finally evolving and maybe i am starting to blend my personality rather than compartmentalize the male and female sides


i hope it is for the good


:hugs:

Self acceptance is the key to life. I have always been this way & that is OK with me.

I am a very late bloomer and am currently fortunate to be single and live in one of the most accepting and liberal places in the USA. Since "getting into" dressing I am happy and very accepting of who I am and what I am doing. No regrets, so far. Why "so far"? Because I only have to deal with dressing and going out logistics around my immediate family and circle of friends who do not know about this side of me. That is an inconvenience, not a major issue so far. If I hopefully do find an SO to love and commit to for the long term, this lovely feeling and situation could possibly become a nightmare in-waiting, if I could not find a way to successfully mix the two together.

As Arlene I am a more caring person. :)

In one sense, at least, it's definitely improved my life by accepting it. I don't purge anymore out of guilt. Overall, I'd rather I wasn't into crossdressing just because it's a distraction at times, but it's better to accept it and keep a stash then to purge and re-spend all that damn money to get a decent wardrobe going again...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

I feel that my life pretty much rocks! Is crossdressing the reason? Not really. Is it a part of my happiness? Most definitely! By being me - and accepting myself as I am - life is just better and happier.

As my overall happiness spills over into my personal, professional and spiritual life, I would say that my crossdressing does have an impact. By accepting who I am, I am not in a constant state of depression and denial. Life just seems smoother when I get to "air out the girl" every once in awhile.

Does crossdressing throw up some obstacles in life? Sure. It's not all kittens and rainbows, but as a happier person I have a much larger reservoir of good stuff to draw from when hard times do strike.

So, for me crossdressing is a win-win.

Kathi

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Kathi sweet hart what you said is a vision with words. I thinks that the best anser I read. It's not all kittens and rainbows) is the best thing I read in a wile.

[SIZE="3"][SIZE="3"]For me, since i got a stash of nice lady clothes, starting in 2005, it has been an obcession. It has brought both fun, and guilt and shame. I have been more anti-social, isolated more, gone to church less. Without it, i used to play sports more, fish more, hike more, date more!Though it has helped me understand women just a little more, I am more of a recluse, and that is not healthy.And, now a gossip has outed me to two good straight guy friends. To be without it, i would have accomplished alot more other things.[/SIZE][/SIZE]

I ... Played around with it for years, if playing around is an acceptable term. Only three or four years ago did I really embrace it, and not a moment too soon. Accepting that it's not going to go away, accepting that it's part of me... It's all been good.

Has it "changed my life" ? I think not, in the grand scale of things. I thought it would, but no, the world she goes non turning... Just turning beneath the feet of a sightly happier me.

The thing I have noticed is, how far it is... The distance between being inside the closet and outside. A few inches that looks like a million miles.

Not made a difference one way or the other for me. I just like female clothes and that's what I wear as often as possible.

Crossdressing is my heroin. I have fully accepted it. I am proud of myself, I told all my friends to see who really is my friend and who isn't. and it didn't change their opinion of me in anyway. My parents are supportive.

To hell with being in the closet about it. I actually get along with women quite well. I'm not dishonest about it, I'm not a pervert. I know what I am and I have nothing more to hide about myself.

From a psychological standpoint, it's hard to lead a happy life if you are unhappy with who you are. So, yes, I'd say self-acceptance plays a significant role into improving a TG person's life.

I struggled for years to accept the pleasure I got versus the guilt after the fact feeling. I had a few almost caughts and a very annoyed SO adding to the external pressures too, my mother almost caught me well did find clothing once when I was about 14, so this is not a new stress for me to deal with.

I Ached inside as I love being dressed and being the girly part, but I have so much responsibility as a son, husband, father, and have to balance all of this too.

Then,,,,,,, I found this place, I found hundreds of kindred spirits and immediately from that second, I found a new inner peace within me, not replacing the external pressure by any means the SO still has a suspicion but won't address it, so I still have lots to go through.

But, I felt, yesterday as I spent all day dressed, relaxed calm deep deepest level of satisfaction ever, and came to this conclusion.

"I dress therfore I am"