Tagged in 'Spot the Tranny' (or CD'er I suppose)

Was wandering through Wal-Mart with my GG-SO the other day, shopping as usual for random things, just minding my own business. we were both in jeans and general casual wear, doing our blending-in best.

As we paused to look at some things, a 20-something pair walked by us, and the short-haired UGG-and-Northfaced girl glanced my way and locked eyes with me for a half second and continued walking past as her companion - a gaydar-triggering skinny boi - followed suit for a second and don't stop walking and I observe:

"Damn it.... I loooose." coming from the girl, followed by a flairy "and IIIII win!" with a hand in the air hand flip and a wiggle of his butt, and they continue on.

My GF and I look at each other, just kinda blink and chuckle, and continue on our day. First time I've notably picked up on being clocked for entertainment value. Apparently I'm an unwitting participant in their ongoing game? he he

How about anyone else?

Angel Marie, I've seen your pics and you are gorgeous (in both modes :)). I know from being here that you are male-at-birth, but honestly if I saw your pics among countless other GGs' pics, yours would NOT be screaming "male" to me.

Having said that, I know there is a difference between a small pic and RL, and few TGs anywhere will be mistaken for a GG unless they are young, have a small frame, have no prominent male facial features, and they are on hormones.

Unfortunately the world still looks aslant at birth-males presenting as GGs, even though there are some settings where it is more readily accepted. And yes, it can be a source of amusement, not out of malice but out of sheer misinterpretation. Most people will be polite enough to keep their comments to themselves but I too have noticed some whispers and smiles when my SO & I go out together. This has happened on a few occasions when I was standing apart from her and it was not immediately apparent that we were together.

This hurt me to my core as much as I imagine it might hurt her. But, I just gave these people a glaring look and I felt better. I don't know when things will improve in our world.

Well, once I spotted a CD in a mall. People didn't seem to notice her, but I noticed that her hips were not womanly. I didn't mean to out her, but I stared at her and tried to follow her, and I thought that I was being discrete. The truth is she noticed and I scared her, and she lost me very quick.

I felt really bad after that. Being a CD myself (although not brave enough to go out dressed), I was just curious and happy to find one like me for the first time in my life. But I probably ruined her day, without intention.

If it ever happens again to me, I would never act the same way.

What I mean: maybe people don't want to be mean. Maybe they are just curious, or even admire what you are doing.

Yeah i get that too. a little unusual that its was 20 somethings? it's the 12-18 ages that i get it most from.

Always seem to be the older teens that seem to notice us.

I know it's likely going to be a never ending hopefully-generally-silent battle against the stereotypes of Transfolk, and I do certianly expect to not be able to walk away from the visible TS-connected life anytime soon. The exchange I observed certianly wasn't silent, but it wasn't 'point the finger at the freak' loud either, thankfully. If I had a choice of dealing with bigoted as$holes or a little passing chuckle from a couple of childish 20-somethings, I'll take the latter.

My SO asked me if their exchange bothered me, and since they didn't even really interact with me at all, nor did they stare and whisper or anything, I said 'No, not really'.. As you said, there are only a few places out there where bluring genders is common place (my favourite gothly club for example), otherwise tell-tale signs of GM-engineering will often red flag us by design.

I won't deny that it hurt a little that I was notably clocked, but life goes on. My biggest significant pain is when my SON is with me when we're out and about, and of course I'm dressed, and he just matter-of-factly calls me 'Dad' right now. I can't exactly yell at him, and I KNOW part of the reason he does it is to be mean to me, but what am I supposed to do (rhetorical question), there'll be no going stealth for now while he's around.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gizmo, Debbie

Yeah i get that too. a little unusual that its was 20 somethings? it's the 12-18 ages that i get it most from.

---

It's a college town, so I'd almost put money down on the table that it's a drinking game in some areas. This was just a little preppy girl and her gay friend out shopping together.. as much as he set off my gaydar from a distance, I bet he had me clocked at 50 paces.

I know I have been spotted a few times

I dont even mind them talking about having seen me as long as they are not rude to me

As I am always well behaved it at least gives most a better impression than the scary stories in the media

Angel, the cool thing is that the girl thought you were a GG until her friend called her judgement into question. That is not a bad place to be in this early in your transition. :happy:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Faith_G

That is not a bad place to be in this early in your transition. :happy:

---

Angel, I'm so sorry. I had forgotten that you are not a CD, but you are in fact transitioning. My comments are insensitive in this light. Please accept my apologies. :sad:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ReineD

Angel, I'm so sorry. I had forgotten that you are not a CD, but you are in fact transitioning. My comments are insensitive in this light. Please accept my apologies. :sad:

---

No worries sweetie, no apology needed. :hugs:

Sounds like those people intended to hurt your feelings Angel, which was way inappropriate. I wouldn't hail Wal-Mart as the Mecca for acceptance due to the fact that people of many types shop there especially uneducated/unevolved punks.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Angel.Marie76

First time I've notably picked up on being clocked for entertainment value. How about anyone else?

---

I'm sure it happens to me more times than I'm aware of as most of the time I don't register or notice anyone (seemingly) looking at me any more or less than they are looking at anyone else.

That said, when I do get read it's always a bit of a bummer. 99% of the time nothing bad happens. I see a curious "knowing smile" or a "look of disapproval" from a person who is obviously trying not to look at me. I think it (being noticed) might begin to happen more to us all as perhaps society slowly becoming more trans-aware. I often put it down to people smiling or staring because they've never seen "one of those sex change people" they heard about on TV in real life before. :2c: That's ok, I hope they see me for what I am - harmless.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by sherri52

Always seem to be the older teens that seem to notice us.

---

Yes; but watch out for the 12 to 14 year old girls. They can spot
a CD a mile away. About a year ago, the wife and myself went
out to eat at a nice place. Accross the room was a couple, Ma + Pa
about 60ish. With them was a 30 something with long hair, done nicely
and natural, wareing slacks and a top. She had a great shape, but had
a very ruggid face. I do believe she was a TG.
A 12 to 14 year old girl walked into the resturant with her family, about 6
of them. Just then the girl turned to her mother and said very loudly,
" Look Ma, A Man In A Dress" It was quitet in the whole place for about 3 min.
I was emberest for her, She otherwise took it rite in stride. Good for her.
Rader

Just this past Tuse, I needed to decompress, so i figgured I'd have a day out. So I get all dolled up in an outfit I've done many time before (as it is my SO's fave on me) and went to Waly World for groceries.
I felt pretty confident in my day as i headed out, as I said, I've been out in this outfit before, and hardly anyone gave me a second look. However, this day was diferent..... I made 1 little change to my look. I trye the day as a platnum blonde. I got read a lot! :o Why the change? Could my new hair have really made that much of a difence? :doh:

Platinum blond is a bit out of the ordinary, even for GGs. Your hair color drew more than usual attention and once that happens they begin looking a little closer. Best to leave the platinum hair for venues where you don't mind being read, such as drag night at a club. JMO, FWIW

Personally I never gave much of a hoot about being spotted. I've heard every possible remark a million times. Ain't no thing.

Be safe. Be smart.

Dawn Marrie

Have to disagree with Cindy - they meant no harm or embarrassment, just wanted to settle something between themselves. They didn't make any deal out of it, didn't say anything (other than to each other) and didn't follow, point, stare, or do anything else rude. Its sad that Angel got read, but otherwise no harm or foul.

I've been read more than I care to think about and have passed more than my share. At least once have had both on the same shopping trip in the same store! Checking the clothes at JC Penny I passed a couple in an aisle near the tools and overheard "that was questionable" after they passed. Then later at the checkout I had to use my card and was asked for ID when she read the name. I could tell it took her a minute to put one and one together, so I felt good about that.

Going out is certainly fun and I hope some random marking doesn't keep us from going out. Stay away from teenage girls if you can, though, they are awesome readers!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by tinalynn

Stay away from teenage girls if you can, though, they are awesome readers!

---

Too bad more teenagers these days cannot read a book...

ANYways...

I think the crappiest part of things like this is not whatever comment but the fact that we didn't pass.

You must look great to only be read by an expert. Yes, gay bois have very sensitive radars. I would consider it more like a friendly (and playful) nod of recognition from an LGBT "G" to a "T" the same way you might want to acknowledge another T-girl or crossdresser. :hugs:

It's a college town, so I'd almost put money down on the table that it's a drinking game in some areas. This was just a little preppy girl and her gay friend out shopping together.. as much as he set off my gaydar from a distance, I bet he had me clocked at 50 paces.

May I point out that you are doing the exact same thing to this young man as he was doing to you? You "clocked" him. He "clocked" you.

Angel,

I get the same thing when i go out to concerts, pairs of ppl walking by just to see if im really a boy in a corset and thigh hi stilleto boots...i turn to where they cant see me and have to walk by again....i then try to smile all girly and give them a nice manly junk scratch to confirm their curiosity, So if it doesnt bother you have fun with it girl

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Stephenie S

It's a college town, so I'd almost put money down on the table that it's a drinking game in some areas. This was just a little preppy girl and her gay friend out shopping together..as much as he set off my gaydar from a distance, I bet he had me clocked at 50 paces.

May I point out that you are doing the exact same thing to this young man as he was doing to you? You "clocked" him. He "clocked" you.

---

You may point out whatever point you'd like to point at, as much as I could do the same, however I didn't actually point it out to them at all, nor did I actually say anything aloud. He, however, did. The conversation I had with my significant other was at a whisper level. The entirely of my point was on 'the game' and the near-public verbalization of the assumed target of that game.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by TommiTN

Platinum blond is a bit out of the ordinary, even for GGs. Your hair color drew more than usual attention and once that happens they begin looking a little closer. Best to leave the platinum hair for venues where you don't mind being read, such as drag night at a club. JMO, FWIW

---

Yea,, this is kinda what we figgured, and I have decided to consighn that hair for just such occasions.

the closest I've come to being ID'd in public was really rather minor. My wife and I were shopping at Coldwater Creek - I was wearing drabs except for a VS henley top, some Lassen sandals w/2" heels and stockings. One lady noticed my feet...and gave me the strangest look before walking away.

You may point out whatever point you'd like to point at, as much as I could do the same, however I didn't actually point it out to them at all, nor did I actually say anything aloud. He, however, did. The conversation I had with my significant other was at a whisper level. The entirely of my point was on 'the game' and the near-public verbalization of the assumed target of that game.

Verbal or non verbal, making an assumption about someone else's sexuality form 50 feet away is presumptuous in the extreme. You spotted a "girly boy", That's an unfair assumption, and just as presumptuous as his spotting of a "tranny". He commented there, you commented here. I see little difference.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Stephenie S

Verbal or non verbal, making an assumption about someone else's sexuality form 50 feet away is presumptuous in the extreme. You spotted a "girly boy", That's an unfair assumption, and just as presumptuous as his spotting of a "tranny". He commented there, you commented here. I see little difference.

---

I have no need to go back and forth in a sparring match with you. As I said, the entirely to my point was logistical, /not/ whether it happened to to be presumptuous or not. I could care less to their opinions at times, but where and when was key. In my conversation in this forum, as I said before, it is relatively anonymous, we're not at that store, and those people aren't here. I'm not trying to make a harassing statement about them in public, I am only bringing up the event at hand.

I don't understand why you're even getting all worked up 'S', if you didn't see my level of humor in my OP, then you're looking too deeply. If they hadn't made themselves known by their actions, then this conversation wouldn't exist.

OK, I see your point. Do you see mine?

I have to wonder if any of you have been to the "people of walmart" website. People are making a sport out of taking pictures of anyone who amuses them and posting the pictures.

The site has pictures of more than a few TG folk.