I've dropped into a few gay nightspots, but now I'm about to try a couple of exclusively lesbian places. Anyone ever get refused? or are these places kind & inclusive?.....Just asking from inexperience.
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I've dropped into a few gay nightspots, but now I'm about to try a couple of exclusively lesbian places. Anyone ever get refused? or are these places kind & inclusive?.....Just asking from inexperience.
I have been to some in the San Francisco Bay area. Never had a problem and always seemed to end up dancing with one of the regulars there. Just like most places they generally cannot refuse you entrance. Your acceptance there just really depends on the clientèle that go there. I would say go for it and make sure that you talk to as many patrons as you can. You may really have a good time.
I have never had an issue in a lesbian bar; most often the women there accept me as another girl. I don't dress too provocatively, I don't hit on the women there, and I behave like another woman. So, there's no problem.
Again, this is my experience.
Make sure you use the men's room. That's what I heard anyway.
The gay clubs I've been to in Milwaukee are mixed and TG friendly. I haven't tried an all girl club but I'm thinking that I would be welcomed there as well as long as I'm en femme.
I've been accepted at the few Lesbian places I've gone to.
Occasionally I've run into a L-girl who's kind of turned on by Trannies, too. But most aren't, and are highly sensitive to being picked up on by a "man" in such a location.
It's a good idea to try to blend in somewhat (although I admit that the idea of going out in black jeans doesn't get my juices flowing!). I'm usually in a business skirted mode (as are some L-girls, especially after work).
I've heard that Girlbar here in LA has turned away T-girls (maybe because they were over the top?). I've been accepted there once or twice.
I haven't hung out in awhile in the L scene since I've shifted to straight clubs, so my info is limited to LA as of a few years ago.
My girlfriend and I go to Freezone a lesbian bar in Las Vegas and so far we have not had any problems
My SO and I have never had any problems in the lesbian bars and dance clubs we've been to. Over all, they are friendlier than gay men. But as with any group, some have been friendly while a few others have been stand-offish. There seem to be a lot of little cliques in the places we've been. But she's had much better luck making plans with and meeting lesbians in RL than CDs, through the social networking sites she belongs to.
Although there are groups of lesbians who do believe that TGs "appropriate" women's roles and they don't take too kindly to the idea. These groups don't believe that FtMs are guys either. :strugglin
I realize that it may be a function of higher use,but I find that certain L bars have the "piggiest" bathroom users!! Boys room[not always vacant] is usually cleaner! And,smile while you look around the club watching people.There are just as many "alpha girls" as there are "alpha boys" in a mainstream place. Don't come on to anyone's date...or else!! Great place to observe and some even like us!:2c:
Not sure if this is relevant, but ...
When I lived in Colorado Springs, I owned an "art" business and my partner was a little "bi" and mostly lesbian. She and her lesbian friends frequently dragged (no pun intended, lol) me out with them to "lesbian" bars they enjoyed.
I was not cross-dressing at that time. But I was always welcome and always ended up having a blast, dancing etc. with all the women at the various places we went. They would often want to "introduce" me to this "guy" they know, etc., but aside from that, it was always a great time.
I play in NY City so there is little I can't do here. I can't recall a bad experience just about anywhere - gay straight or otherwise. We have been well received at several lesbian bars. Not all the patrons like us but most do. The new owner at one place loves us there and makes sure to let us know every night we show up.
Gen
I have heard that some lesbian clubs do not like any transgendered girls at all. But my guess is those are clubs with a very large local clique that make it almost like a closed private party place.Quote:
Originally Posted by eluuzion
However I still feel that GG's, lesbian or not are more accepting, more understanding and non-judgmental then most males gay or straight. I think if we behave ourselves, act like ladies and don't hit on anyone's girlfriend, that maybe the acceptance is even more so at a lesbian club then one for gay males. :2c:
Occasionally I go to the lesbian bar because.......well I guess I am a lesbian. Occasionally transgender people show up and they are always welcome to be there but from my observations they are not generally seen as an equal.
To elaborate, I myself feel that the ultimate test of assimilation is to be accepted by the lesbian communty. They might not say it but they ARE very critical of TG people.
A few tidbits to be better accepted.
1. Be nice and smile and talk to people!
2. Jeans and T-shirt. Yes wear what lesbians typically wear.
3. Do not make a pass at them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. Finally act like you belong there.
When I am at the lesbian bar I can almost always spot the trans people. For one they often are wearing totally uncommon clothing (heels and skirts).
Or they are sitting there and look nervous and out of place.
Finally occasionally I have seen trans people at the lesbian bar being agressive with thier advances towards the lesbians. This IS NOT LIKELY TO WORK!!!
Katie
:angel: LOL, all I want to do is drink liquor, mingle, and be accepted. I will behave. I do get the sense that there might be some hostility amongst a few if i approached them. ....but if one makes a pass at me, I won't mind. I really want to test where my boundaries are.Quote:
Originally Posted by Katesback
Hi In Illinos.
All The lesbian Clubs I have been too have been great accepting, if someone dosen't like you they don't say anything and have made friends that I still see.
One of the clubs I go to dressed is a lesbian bar, Never had a problem at all with anyone there, it can be a pretty mixed crowd, overall very accepting, I think depends on the place and people of coarse.
While it may be true in your area, it isn't universal- some places/areas have a mix of everything from t-shirts & jeans to dresses & heels & make-up. So ask around about your local scene.Quote:
Originally Posted by Katesback
Nathalie, with your attitude you should have a wonderful time
there are times i've seen when the women are very friendly and others not so much...tip the bartender! and you'll have a great time!!
also, if your first trip is unpleasant or boring, don't let it get you down, go again! and people will remember you and you are likely to have more and more fun as you get to know the folks
as Kate says, most lesbian women will not want to be hit on, and some may consider that you are on their turf
wear whatever you want... most women their will not mind, and the ones that do mind probably won't like you more for wearing jeans and a tee.
when we go, we always plan to "someday" dress like the women in the bar, but its seems we never do..lol
have fun!
Ive been to lots and never had a problem. :)
i have only been once....here is what i heard so curious what others are actually hearing....
that most clubs are accepting. meaning they won't turn you away. they are considerate and will take your money :)
okay, that's just being human and well nice as we all should be
but underneath, many lesbian women are not that fond of tg, how we portray them, etc. as a whole even if we dress down....this is what i heard. So while we may be going to their established R&R bar, we may be intruding on their mental space.
Ehh you should not have any problems.
We have a popular one here that I go to once in a while, it is actually more mix than anything, have not had issues.
There might be a "B" or two who acts dumb but just kind of blow that off.
Every club has at least one person who is a butt.
If the overall air does seem too rude for your taste, just move on.
You will be fine. The worst that will happen is you will be bored, well unless you are really into the clubbing scene.
I have gone to a les bar, no problems...
[SIZE=4]I have been in many lesbian and gay clubs in my many years of going out. I only had one encounter with a really butch lesbian, simply because I got between her and her girlfriend in a crowd at the bar. She just asked if I was looking at her woman and I looked up at her and said "No". (I was in 5 inch heels and she still stood way over me.) That was the end of that.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]It seems to me that most any place that we can go is accepting as long as you flow with the crowd, don't get obnoxious, and tip well. [/SIZE]
i tend to not go into very many "bars".
but i would think no matter where you are at if you act like a butt you will get treated as one.
if you act like a lady you will be treated as such.
i would say do not try to pick up on a L girl, let them take the first move.
and then there are places that one can only call "privet clubs". you will know very fast if so. just move on taking your money with you.
but report back on the places that do not want us there, that way we know were to not spend our moneys.
Or so I have been told. Think about it... they really don't hate men but the persona. Many of the bi lesbians would love to meet a "Lesbian lover with tools" or at least that is what one told me. Several weeks ago, in a gay bar, a beautiful woman (Debbi) said she was predominantly lesbian so I told her I was a CD and her eyes lit up and she clarified that she was Bi but really only considered CD's good lovers. I left with her number but never called her as I am faithfully and very happily married. It's all new to my wife but she prefers CD's to, she just doesn't know it yet.
HOWEVER, you better be discrete, some of them can hit like a man and are more prone to violence than any man <at the right time of the month homicide is not out of the question>. Be Afraid.
Please don't get the wrong idea here, but out of curiosity.. Why would a lesbian make "the first move" on a man..or even a pre-op TS? I don't do gay bars so I am clueless.Quote:
Originally Posted by Loni
Kel
I'm with Kelly on this one. Lesbians aren't attracted to CDs. They're into GGs.Quote:
Originally Posted by Loni
Virgin, true lesbians by definition are not bi. They are attracted to GGs. Not saying there aren't bi GGs, just that they don't tend to identify themselves as being lesbian.Quote:
Originally Posted by Virgin_CD
And ... you're playing with wildfire, IMO. Does your wife know you are going into bars and taking numbers from women who want to f**** you? If your wife is that open-minded, then just ignore me. lol. But from my perspective, there's not much difference between someone who has an interest strong enough to engage in a conversation about it and take a phone number (fodder for intense fantasies or keeping options open?), and someone who actually carries through. :2c:
Reine, Hi... and in answer to your question, my wife trusts me quite allot. I always tell her I am fallable given the right circumstances, but it hasn't happened in our 15 years of marriage. For example, and to answer one of your questions, why would I take Debbi's number: Have you ever been in one of those situations where it was easier AND KINDER to lie? Like taking someone's number with no intent to call, or for a platonic friendship conversation. I thought this is a great female to talk to about CD stuff, etc... But I never did call her. Also, the wife did give me permission to go to the bar accross the street (and I had a great T-Bone steak too, only $8.00!). I wish my wife was here in MD on assignment with me... or better I was at home working locally (AL)... but layoff's kinda screwed that up. So I am sending checks home and bored to dearh in MD, So, to get back to your inquiry; I am not sure if it was the next day or not, but it was shortly thereafter that I told my wife of the entire account (and coincindentally came out to her about my CD in the same conversation). So it was a really good event for me and gave me the confidence I needed to tell my wife how lucky she was and that she loves my other CD traits, the softer side of me, etc... I haven't been back to that bar, but if I knew Debbi would be there I would go in a NY minute, to see my "old" friend. Despite her good looks she was over 50 and full of wisdom and good life stories. We really parted friends. So to add to the description AND contradict something you said (no offense) CD's often go to gay bars for freedom from judgement... largely because there really are no "CD Bars" around. So I asked my wife if I could go to Freddies Sat night. At first she said no, it's not in the budget. Then she sofened up and said ok, just don't spend more than a "nice dinner out". I was hoping to meetup with 2 sisters for the first time and I heard Freddies was a CD freindly bar. Well, it was a dissapointment, but I was there from 11:30 to 1:30 and only spent 32.00 It was somewhat interesting so not a total waste, and it kept me busy when I would otherwise be bore to tears in my hotel room (see my "review of Freddies" in the out and about section). So does that answer your questions, and I would never ignore you... and yes, I know I am a severely lucky gurl to have such an incredible wife. But it takes two so I will take some of the credit for OUR success :)
Virgin <still>
i just say let them take the first move only due to....respect if nothing else as they might like to talk...but other??..maybe they have a friend that would get more than upset? maybe just trying to not come on too strong??Quote:
Originally Posted by kellycan27
maybe i have just not dated in so long, not sure about it anymore?
Thanks Loni.. I got ya now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Loni
Kel
I had heard rumors but I have never seen any place where lesbians don't let anyone in. There are a few "rules" but they are basically the same rules you would follow anywhere. Don't look like you should be working the street (unless sit is a bar that caters to the fetish look), don't hit on another person's GF (duh), and don't act like an adolescent boy who thinks the women of the world should worship him.
I go to women's bars a lot. I don't go to men's as much. Why? Women are a lot friendlier and they don't act like I am either a) looking to get some (know what I mean...actually they act like I am there to GIVE some) or b) I am in the wrong bar. The only time I was worried about lesbians was actually in a mixed gay bar where I was frankly told to "go somewhere else" by a could women.
Aah! I see, Virgin ... thanks for 'splainin. :) You and your wife sound good together.
I agree in concept with your point. In my experiences, if you make the genuine effort to respect the established acceptable conduct of the environment you are visiting, you will not encounter any problems, or be viewed as causing any for anyone else. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by BRANDYJ