Inqiring minds want to know - Week 2

Thank you to all that gave their time and help with our first set of questions.:love:


Inquiring Minds Want To Know

The second set of questions our GG's would like to ask to promote better understanding. We've put the questions together and will be posting them in sets of three every week. Please feel free to answer any number of them. We appreciate your input!

Here's the link to the Week 1 questions for those of you who missed them and would like to participate: Week 1 Questions


Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries? [SIZE="4"]Yes, and I try to answer truthfully, and reasure here.[/SIZE]

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?[SIZE="4"]I do express my softer feelings in male mode[/SIZE]

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?[/QUOTE][SIZE="4"]I think so. I am only turned by by women in male mode or dressed. I get turned on by a good looking woman like any other male. Maybe even more as am also envious of the clothing[/SIZE]

#4 - Do you really listen to your SO: Oh my gosh, yes! I "pedestal" this woman so much - though not in a creepy way. :) Her concerns are my concerns. It is one of the reasons why I try to keep her "in the dark" with my dressing - it is her wish. Well, that and to be careful when out and about.

#5 - Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode? That's so not me. I do express my softer feelings - empathy, nurturing, concern, sensitivity, and much more. I believe that having and expressing those feelings make me a much better father, a much better husband, and a much better man.

#6 - 6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is? Is it wrong on this board to swear? No? Good. Then my answer is Hell Yeah! Women rock! Men are smelly, dirty and hairy. Women are soft and curvy and smell wonderful (especially after they exercise - just like fresh rain. Shudder! :)). Women, most certainly, "do it for me."

:)

Kathi

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Originally Posted by Di

Thank you to all that gave their time and help with our first set of questions.:love:


Inquiring Minds Want To Know
The second set of questions our GG's would like to ask to promote better understanding. We've put the questions together and will be posting them in sets of three every week. Please feel free to answer any number of them. We appreciate your input!
Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

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4) I really do listen and I belive that I try to be responsive and reassuring.
5) I feel I express my softer feelings equally - whether en drab or male mode. I think I'm the same person - regardless of how I'm dressed.
6) gosh - hard to know, since I've only been me, not a non-CD male. I certainly am turned on sexually by women. I will acknowledge enjoying the opportunity to live out the fantasy/illusion of being a woman when I'm making love with a woman...

4. Yeah I wouldn't get into the realtionship in the first place if we didn't tust each other enough to be open. I usually try and get to know the girl before I date them anyways.

5.Isn't this kinda a broad assumption about males ?? I have no problem expressing any of those emotions and I've known non-cd males who were just as able.

6. I don't know how to answer this honestly. I like girls I don't think there are varying degrees unless your bi. The clothes I prefer to wear wouldn't change that

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Originally Posted by Di

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

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Yes, but the more direct and to the point, the better the attention :)

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5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

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Hey, that's an assumptive question. The softer feelings are accessible in either mode. I'm more likely to get teary-eyed in movies than my wife, for example. I wonder if some CD's use "I'm only nice when I dress up" as an excuse ...

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6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

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I have no idea. I have zero interest in porn, and I wasn't attracted to women until I was 16 or so, when some time bomb went off in me and I caught up in a hurry! I do look at and greatly appreciate attractive women I see in the real world, though, and I'm pretty typical in that from what I've observed.

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

I have no SO, but being able to communicate (both talk and listen!) is in my opinion most important in a relationship. If I have a SO and she has questions, I will try to answer. If she has worries, I'll be willing to listen. If she starts threatening me, it'll be another story.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

In my case, it's mainly because of a history of being an outsider, while having a big need of social contacts. So I tried living more to the society standards of a man, but of course that didn't work out too well. It's just not me, I'd be living a lie.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

I think so. I mean I don't know any better than being a CD, and I've never been digging too deep in other people's sexual experiences :heehee:

4) Yes. Well I think I do. At least I try. I still have that silly Y chromosome that causes periodic deafness and loss of memory, but I am doing my best to over come it. Since coming out to her we have had numerous wonderful talks and shared our concerns and hopes for the future. I wouldn't be much of a hubby if I didn't do my best to accommodate because lord knows she is giving it her all to accomodate me.

5) I feel I do express these in male mode. Once again it is much more prevalent since coming out to the love of my life. Although I have always been that person that can't stop the tears when the sappy commercial comes on tv.

6) Yuppers. There are too many things that I love about women to list. However, I think our view of females is significantly different than non-Cding males. We look at women through a different lens. One colored with a little bit of their experience. Therefore, I find myself being much more empathic with their point of view. I will use an example of a buddy of mine at work. Last week I was able to meet a young lady that we have spoken to numerous times on the phone. When I told my co-worker that I had met this young lady his first question was, "is she hot". I found myself taking great offense at this. Not only because I am a gentlemen, but also because I did not want to objectify her anymore than I desire to be objectified when dressed.

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Originally Posted by Di

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

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Yes - but I have never really gotten credit for this one. Since I don't end up seeing things her way = not listening

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Originally Posted by Di

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

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I do feel like I can express those feelings, but everytime I do I get a very negative response from my wife. By her responses, she would be happier she thinks with one of those macho jerks.

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Originally Posted by Di

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

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Completely - I have all of the feelings which every other male has. The only difference is that instead of being the typical male jerk who is only concerned about his needs, I want a connection now before anything happens. I guess that I am closer to a female thinking on this one. If there are problems in the marriage then I can't perform.

More importantly, after my divorce is finalized this summer I do want to find another woman. I want a woman to feel like she is loved and has all the appeal - nothing missing. I want that connection but I know I am not ready for a long while.

4) Doesn't apply to me as I don't have an SO (and probably never will, given what a solitary animal I am).

5) There are two possible ways for me to answer this. The first is to say that this question is also non-applicable to me since I'm more or less in male mode all the time (regardless of what I wear). The second is to say that what I wear usually has little bearing on how I behave. I can display all the traits you mentioned when I'm wearing nothing but male attire; conversely, I can be a right :censor: when I'm in female stuff!

6) Eh, probably not TBH. I find women attractive, no doubt about that, but am also something of an asexual, so am not driven absolutely mad with lust by the sight of an attractive member of the opposite sex. What feelings I do experience seem to be somewhat, I don't know, "half-baked", for want of a better way of putting it. They appear in a relatively mild form, and then quickly die away. Not to complain, however! My situation has its advantages, I've found.

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

Men are smelly, dirty and hairy.

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Oh come on, we're not all that bad! Indeed, there've been occasions when I've seen a man who's been downright beautiful (at which point, my mind will be filled with thoughts such as "Whoa!", "I'd turn gay for that!" and "I hope he's a CDer too - with a body and face like his, it'd be a crime if he wasn't!").

4) Absolutely I listen to her!

5) I'm not sure I buy into the concept of a "male mode" vs a "female mode." With 1 extremely significant exception, self-expression of the "softer side" is not a problem no matter what I'm wearing. The minor problems that I do have I can put down to too many years of self-programming in trying to be the tough-guy. Expression is not a problem - lack of experience in communicating that expression is.

6) This one is a solid "mostly". Certainly women turn me on, but typically, a purely physical or "animal" attraction isn't enough to start the lust reaction by itself.

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

I feel I do. My wife is a fairly quiet lady. One of my rules for myself as I progressed was that I would pay particular attention to her concerns and anything she was unsure of would become a boundary. This caused me to create a few boundaries that were unneccessary, but that was better than the alternative.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

I was one of those kids in school that went through a lot of hazing and bus stop fights. As a result, I tried to be the biggest conformist that I could be. So no expression here because of that. But as I have been exploring myself, there has been some change. It is hard to break life-long habits, but I feel there is some change.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

Absolutely. I am hetero, so I don't see where my feelings would be different.

4) My wife is even worse at it than me in expressing her concerns. I find that I will end up questioning her to bring them out so we can talk about them.

5)I've learned over the years and I hope I've gotten better at it.

6)I usually focus on the clothes/presentation and my male reaction to a good looking woman is something that I've tried to eliminate.

4. My SOs primary concerns and worries are if her food dish is filled, and that she gets taken for walks. Listen? We are on a wavelength beyond hearing!

5. PUHLEASE, get real....are you telling me i'm not sensitive! Why i oughta!
I mean yes of course. Honestly though, that was a loaded and somewhat unfair question. Would it be fair to say that the single CD may be afraid to show a soft side to a GG in fear that he may be thought weak?

6. Yes, deffinitely, but like said before, the visual attraction goes deeper for us. It's not just the physical beauty, it's also how she is presenting it, or the whole picture i suppose.

All in good jest gang. mj (Cassie)

4. My SO does not know about Karenmarie but I would hope and pray
that my wife would express her concerns and I hope that I would
encourage her.

5. I have a very soft side whether male or female. Of course, if I am
out fishing with the boys, well thats something different. En-femme,
I am, and LOVE to be soft and feminine.

6. Yes, way down deep there is still a "boy" who loves to look at
women, but like mentioned above theres more to it. I love to look at
the outfits, dresses, skirts, shoes, make-up and generally the entire
presentations. After all is said and done, my wife will always remain
my "most important person" in my life, and never would I go out on her.
If she knew of my CDing and excepts it, even partially, she would
be even more important to me....if thats possible.

Karenmarie

#4 I like to believe that I listen to my wifes concerns about everything not just about Crossdressing which actually does not come up as much as I thought it would.

#5 I know that my wife knows I like to dress feminine but still has never seen me and the reason that she has not seen Keri live and in person is she would then see me even more different then she already does since I told her. Someday I hope to overcome this though. So when it comes to being sensitive I do not want her associating me only as being girly so I try to keep the comments suttle. However I think if I was more open eith my feelings we would actually be a bit closer then we already are.

#6 As far as sexually turned on, It is unfortunate for me as I have never had a great sex-drive. I know I look at my wife and she turns me on emotionally, I guess that is sort of girly, but that is the way it is. I find a lot of things about women very attractive. To be totally honest I really love to see the view of a nice butt on a pretty figure. So minus the sex drive I wish I have more encounters.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Di

Thank you to all that gave their time and help with our first set of questions.:love:


Inquiring Minds Want To Know

The second set of questions our GG's would like to ask to promote better understanding. We've put the questions together and will be posting them in sets of three every week. Please feel free to answer any number of them. We appreciate your input!

Here's the link to the Week 1 questions for those of you who missed them and would like to participate: Week 1 Questions


Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

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(4)Totally a "Yes." Lucky for me she doesn't have many worries.
(5)I actually can. In fact, I'm told this is part of my "male" appeal.
(6)Obviously I can't speak for non-CD males, but my wife turns me on in a very conventional way. My femme side doesn't exist in the bedroom, and this is by choice.

Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her
concerns/worries?

Yes I do. I would not want the cause of her concerns to be a problem.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

I don't! I can express those feelings very well in male mode. I just enjoy wearing female clothes.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

I am turned on sexually by women I find attractive (and men for that matter). I did not know that being turned on as a non-CD male was any different to a CD-male. The way that the moving parts work does not change!

Rachael

#1 YES I would be treating my wife with Disrespect If I didnt listen If she ever has concerns,She has Done so much for me and I would never dismiss anything she had to say,or ask of me

#2 Honestly,I have to say I do express my feelings and emotions.Not once have i subscribed to the theory that Men Don't Cry.I think your missing something in your life,If you can't show your emotions

#3I would say yes.Of course there is only one Woman I wish to get turned on by now,In whatever mode I'm in :hugs:

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?
My SO is fully supportive of me and has not expressed any worries/concerns. If he did, I would listen to them and give them the merit they deserve.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?
I have no problem with this. I am always told I am the perfect wife.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?
Being gay, I would have to say no.

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Originally Posted by Di

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

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Yes I do, we talk about everything c/ding related and not c/ding related.

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Originally Posted by Di

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

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In male mode I'm very much an "alpha male". Softer feelings and emotions are seen as a weakness and as such i keep them well hidden!

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Originally Posted by Di

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

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YES!!!!!
I am very much an average male with an average males wants and desires. It's just the c/ding that can make me appear differantly.

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

4) Yes, I listen to my SO. She does not want to know about my CD activities, and I hide them. It just "doesn't do anything for" her.

5) I DO express my softer feelings in male mode. I just express them more often in female mode.

6) YES YES YES YES! Did I make that clear? TES. I notice women MORE now!

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Originally Posted by Di

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

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Yes, very much. But, there have been times when a 2x4 would have worked better.

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5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

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As I am in male mode 98% of the time, it's my emotional side that is 98% female and I do tend to express my softer feelings while in male mode.

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6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

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I almost just said "yes" to this question, but I guess it may depend on the personality of who you are comparing to. I've been a cd all my life so I don't really know what a non-CD likes, other than what I have seen and what is portrayed. Sexually, I am very conservative in my likes and dislikes. I have never been turned on by the extremely feminine, skimpy type behaviour or cloths (overtly sexual behaviour). I have never had a desire for the strip or night club life. For me that has been a "turn off", and I know sometimes people think I am gay because of that. But it's just that my taste in what I find sexy in women is not what is portrayed as what average males want. And, from being here on this forum, I don't think being a cd has anything to do with it at all. I think it just has to do with personality.

Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?
Most of the time I am wide open and willing to listen. There are still moments when I am involved with something to where it is a difficult task. However, I think I'm more open than most men.


5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?
I feel I can express myself at times in male mode, but I still find myself suppressing most of my more sensitive emotions. An ingrained response or lack of it I suppose that I'll always carry as an innate part of me.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?[/QUOTE]
Is the pope Catholic? Does a bear s**t in the woods? I adore women and have always been sexually attracted by the opposite sex. There isn't a pair of heels or sexy dress that's ever going to change that.

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

I do listen to her and i do my best to ease those worries.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

I do, but only becasue i don't really give a damn what people think about it. Most of the time for a man to do so gets him labeled and gay, weak, girly, etc.



6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

No i am not...i am much more respectful. I would never poke a buddy and say "look at the tits on that one!" I find such behaviour awful.

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

not applicable as i live alone.



5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?
I dont think my feeling change they always have been softer than most males.


6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?
the answear to that is yes I never had complants.

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Originally Posted by Di

Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries? Absolutely! Now that i know who I am. I can now somewhat explain it, and I listen to her supportive comments and her concerns. I admit I don't always have the answer, but I listen and try to find some common ground for both of us to accept

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

This is a tough one for me... I have always felt the need to over compensate for my softer side...every time i let it creep out in front of men i got critisized... even in front of my mother ... i got [ be a man] It wasn't till i found i was transgendered at 48 yrs old that the light went on!!! I have no problem showing my softer side now, at least in front of women... i however, put my guard up around men still... if i sence that testosterone from them. Still trying to find center i guess.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

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[I]I think I look at women in a different light than a typical man. [ at least the ones I know] I look at the whole person, and yes I love women! I don't see myself objectifying them in any way. I tend to walk away from that kind of banter from guys... [ Hey! would ya do her?] stuff like that.

I have several women on the block coming over for wine etc. to get my take on different things in their lives...they see me as one of the girls..at least i hope so[/I].:battingeyelashes:

Di, Thanks for making me think.:hugs:

4. I'd like to think so.

5. I can, and I do express my feelings, regardless of how I'm dressed.

6. I'm attracted to women like any heterosexual male, CDer or not.

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

I don't have an SO, but I think I'm above average at listening and remembering what women say. It's been my experience that women really don't give men much credit for this. When I try to accomodate them, they just demand more.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

I think I could, I just don't get many opportunities. Male life is about confrontation, competition, and bravado.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

I don't think so. With my buddies, it's always about T and A (mostly T). For me, a well dressed woman is much sexier than a naked one. Maybe because I grew up with Sear's catalogs? I don't know. I've always admired women for their completeness. "Something in the way she moves" is how George Harrison once put it.

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4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

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Absolutely yes! Everyone needs a sounding board - a best friend - someone who really cares - a guardian of hope - a person who will stand by them with unconditional love and support.

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5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

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To the opposite, I don't feel that way at all.

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6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

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I going to presume how the universe of non-CD males would be and say yes.

Babette

I listen all the time, don't know if I hear all the time.

In my male upbringing, was taught to be tough (which I'm not). Boys don't cry sort of thing. When my fem side gets loose, the relief of being able to express my feelings, is a pleasant escape from "malehood". After a lot of years, this (expressing my feelings) is spilling over into my male side and I like it.

Been a CD as long as I can remember, but yes I love women, especially my wife. Look at women more now, thinking, "wish I could wear what she's wearing". Sexually, my wife of 44 years, is the only woman I'm interested in.

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Originally Posted by Di

Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

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Yes I do Although she wont always agree I'm listening

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Originally Posted by Di

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

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I do express these qualities most of the time but not always It can depend on who is involved in the situation

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Originally Posted by Di

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

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Yes, and beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes

4
I assume you mean it towards the dressing in which case it does not really apply to me as she has no worries or concerns.

5
It makes no difference in which way i am dressed just that when dressed i would be doing more relaxing things so would have more time to show it .


6
Difficult to answer as i have always been this way so would not know how to judge that but i would be inclined to say yes. But (always that but) there are times when i wonder if it is always the female or the desire to be the female that turns me on .
I don`t think that i have been entirely honest with my answer and it is bugging me , the desire to be that female far out weighs any other thought:sad:

Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

Yes 100% but wether i act upon it is anouther mater

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

I do express my softer side to wife all the time and she says i am dead sloppy

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

Easy one this 200% PURE HETRO ,and if GOD made anything better he's keeping it to himself
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4. That is a hard question after 32 years I think I do. However I'm still not sure we r on the same page 100%.

5. I do feel I can express my fem traits when in male mode. I don't see how you can't.

6. Yes I am, However I do look at all women some just attracted to what cloths-make up-shoes--Hair they wear and how they wear them.

4. Again, no SO.

5. I can, so there's no conflict there.

6. How exactly can we ever know how another person feels when getting turned on? I don't think there's any accurate way to answer that question.

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Originally Posted by Di

Thank you to all that gave their time and help with our first set of questions.:love:


Inquiring Minds Want To Know

The second set of questions our GG's would like to ask to promote better understanding. We've put the questions together and will be posting them in sets of three every week. Please feel free to answer any number of them. We appreciate your input!

Here's the link to the Week 1 questions for those of you who missed them and would like to participate: Week 1 Questions


Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

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4- Yes I do listen to my SO and I address all of her concerns and worries with honest and complete answers to the best of my ability.

5- I do express the same softer feelings whether I'm cross-dressed or not , it's who I am.

6- I believe I am , but I never asked a non-CD male that question.

Tomara

1. Yes
2. I can
3. Yes
Tina B.

4. Yes, in fact we have a written agreement that outlines the boundaries of my activities as Diana. It covers how often I dress, the seasons I dress ( I don't dress during the summer), and a couple other things. I never cross these boundaries. We have had it for several years and it works well.

5. I work hard at listening to her concerns and worries. Her major worry is the neighbors. I also do a lot around the house to help keep things running smoothly.

6. I have always been attracted to women and I don't think my dressing affects it.

Diana

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

Question 5 is easy. As a male child you were always taught to be rough and rugged and not show signs of weakness. Usually when males show softer feelings, we are viewed as weak or gay....No straight male wants that rumor going around about him, even though he does where dresses secretly.

Question 6: I dont think i'm turned on exactly the same way as non cd males. Non cd males do not admire the woman as a whole. As a cd, I admire everything about the woman, not just her physique. I notice how her clothes are put together, her makeup, and the way carries herself.

re week 2

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

Yes we speak often

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

Often I can express my feelings I just sometimes feel as if they are not the only way to communicate or necessarily the only best way to communiucate


6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?
I am a cross dresser and I find women sexually attractive so yes

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

If I had an SO, I would certainly want to listen to her concerns actively and try to work through them with her.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

My old self has a reputation for empathy, sensitivity and consideration, he gets it from me. "In male mode", I am more likely to be treated like a big brother come confidant than a potential mate because of this.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

Even when I was fighting my true nature, I was rarely "turned on sexually" by a woman. I was much more likely to want to get to know her and become a trusted friend. Now, I am just as likely to want to know where she got her outfits.

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?
When she was alive, I would listen and try to ease the concerns. But if you would be able to ask her, she would probably say that the male side did not listen most of the time. I tried but did not always connect correctly.


5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?
Since I have retired from a very "male dominated" career where softer feels would get you hurt or killed, I have been able to express my softer feelings. It has been hard to let go of the macho side but boy when I do I feel much better.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?
Since I am not a non-CD male I dont know, I look at women and see the clothing, the hair, the way she presents herself, I am not looking at a sex object but a person.

#4 Yes we talk about everyday situations and discuss how to solve problems.
#5 It's easier doing it in a girl mode
#6 Yes. Girls always turn me on

Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

No SO. Not applicable.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

Severe negative reaction by virtually all men and women. Simple as that.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

Probably not, although I do suspect that I'm a straight TG, or at least bi (not as much into women). There's always been more of an envy than a raw animal attraction there. Maybe that's all it's always been.

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

This is not much of an issue in my home, since crossdressing is not an issue that we really ever talk about. I'm sure she has wrestled with some of these issues, but I keep my femme side pretty much under wraps, and rarely go out anywhere. Out of respect for her, I try very hard to be careful with my cross-gender activities.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

Likely this is due to my programming from growing up in an America that virtually prohibits men from acting outside the macho box that has been constructed around the accepted male behavior pattern in Western society. Subliminally, we fear that other men will see us as inferior, effeminate, limp-wristed, gay, and subject to ridicule. It's a shame.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

It's difficult to have a frame of reference, since I've never known what it's like to be a non-CD male. However, I'll say this: I am attracted sexually to women in the same way that any normal heterosexual male is. But in addition to that, I also notice, am attracted to, and am more positively sensitive to things like her appearance, her clothing choices, her makeup, her hair, her jewelry, etc. I have a greater empathy for her as a feminine being than do most men, and I feel this gives me an even greater appreciation of her as a woman.

4 yes

5 I can easily express my softer emotions no matter what I am wearing

6 Yes I adore women, I think I probably have a better understanding of them than non-cders

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?
Absolutely. Though having been trained as a male to try to "fix" everything, I have to make a conscious effort to shut up and just listen.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?
I can express those feelings in male mode, though it's hard as it goes against my cultural upbringing as a male in the American South. In some circles, primarily at work, it is socially risky to express softer feelings as these are not considered "manly" by some and are ridiculed by the more insecure males. It is somewhat easier to express those things in female mode, but that's not the reason I crossdress.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?
Never having been a non-CD male, I don't know. I'm not sure there is a "normal" way to be turned on. I'm attracted to/by particular women, not all women. In other words, I have my criteria for what I find sexually attractive, just like anyone else.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Di

Thank you to all that gave their time and help with our first set of questions.:love:


Inquiring Minds Want To Know

The second set of questions our GG's would like to ask to promote better understanding. We've put the questions together and will be posting them in sets of three every week. Please feel free to answer any number of them. We appreciate your input!

Here's the link to the Week 1 questions for those of you who missed them and would like to participate: Week 1 Questions


Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

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4) Yes I do. I may not always reach the same conclusion that she does, but I am pretty satisfied that she knows that I am listening to what she has to say.

5) I think I can express my softer feelings no matter how I am presenting. Yes, of course I have acted macho at points when in male mode, but that doesn't mean that access to the gentler emotions only comes while dressed. My most emotional moments with my wife have been all while I was in male mode.

6) Not living inside another person's head, I can't answer that with 100% confidence, but I would think so - I am definitely very physically and sexually attracted to any good-looking women (who can come in many shapes and sizes). And if she's wearing attractive clothing, so much the better. :)

Whatever that means!:brolleyes:

4. No SO.

5. I'm always the same, no matter how I'm dressed. I WISH I felt and acted more fem when dressed, but I don't!

6. THIS ONE I GOT!:devil:
After all, I was a non-CD male for over 50 years!:eek: I'm probably MORE turned on by the finer aspects of a GG's look now, than I was back when.
( Glad u didn't ask about "performance", tho!):o