Ever had your girlfriend or mother get upset because you wore their clothes? I have a few times when I was much younger. My girlfriend got very upset at me when I did. My mom would too. Just wanted to see how many others this happened to.
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Ever had your girlfriend or mother get upset because you wore their clothes? I have a few times when I was much younger. My girlfriend got very upset at me when I did. My mom would too. Just wanted to see how many others this happened to.
...have been in the same situation at one time or another, especially when we were younger, were just coming to terms with this part of ourselves, and had only limited resources and/or opportunities to indulge in our compulsion when we first began to wear women's clothing.
This type of negative reaction on the part of GG's is pretty universal - it just plain creeps women out, especially when this activity is carried out behind their backs and without their knowledge. And if their clothing gets torn, damaged, or stained in the process, just increase that degree of loathing by a factor of 10
The standard answer to your query (and it, or versions of it, keep being asked here from time to time) is to desist, and buy your own women's clothing to have fun with ASAP.
Very common reaction, indeed! Although I kind of see it as a double standard! :) My wife will often wear my sweatshirts, t-shirts, and such. On TV, we often see a girl wearing the guy she just slept with's shirt the next morning. However, if we try it...?? Heh... Women...
And the point being ............ we do it openly ........ and with their knowledge, and not only that, we can & do wear them anywhere, cos we are not ashamed of doing do.Quote:
Originally Posted by tinalynn
Firstly not by all GG's ... just to make that clear ......... & the negative reaction as you call it, would be something similar if we GG's borrowed your car, (with or without your knowledge) and some idiot scrapped the side of it while we were in the car park, or we borrowed one of your power tools and left it all gummed up or damaged and put it back without saying anythingQuote:
Originally Posted by Leslie Langford
my mom was upset when she caught me......but made keep them on and do housework
Oooh, Sheila,
Nicely put. I can say with no ambiguity, "STAY THE HECK OUT OF MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER AND OUT OF MY CLOSET!
It's really so much more satisfying to have your own clothes that fit you properly.
Stephenie
No arguments, Sheila! Nothing should be taken from another behind a back...
I did it also when I first started to dress, lets see; that was the "year of flood" Not only did I get caught by my mom but we also had the talk while I was still dressed. She then bought me my own clothes and lingerie, she figured that if I were going to do this I should do it right. Thanks mom!!!
Mollyanne
...one girlfriend i had, she like that i dress like a girl, and she doesn´t mind & gave me female clothes. but another girl i had after, she doesn´t like it at all, but she knows that i use leotards, tigths, skirts,... one day i use her fishnet hold on´s by mistake, because i have ones too, and she stay very very very annoy...
I think we all have had that issue come up before. When my wife caught me in her clothes before, she threw the clothes away.
When I started crossdressing (at age seven), the only clothes available to me belonged to my mother. She never caught me doing or knew that I crossdressed, even after I grew up and had my own things. I think that if she had caught me, she would have been more shocked than angry. Since she has died quite a few years ago, well before I began to come out, I'll never know how she would react. I certainly enjoyed wearing her things, but I eventually felt that I needed my own because using hers began to feel more and more like an invasion of her privacy.
Sheila hit the nail on the head!
Not with my hammer I hope :heehee:Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrea's Lynne
I dont entirely agree here, although yes, to generalize ALL women this way is wrong.. Not ALL women obviously are that way, but I think to post was meant to be metaphorically general, and not insinuating that all women are that way..That is what the part of WOMEN IN GENERAL means, not all but many, and it's not because we are ashamed and you arent, there is a reason you arent ashamed, it is ocially acceptable for you to dress that way, whereas it is NOT for men to wear feminine clothes, this argument is on here allot, and it drives me mad to watch..Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheila
There truly is no reason we should NOT be able to wear a lace cami and jeans, or a nice sundress on a hot day and be comfy and feel good.. NONE, yet I guarantee you, the man would NOT be welcomed as you would in a mans button down and levis, you could wear boxers, and pants down to your knees like the gansta punks in the hood, with a baggy tee and sideways baseball cap, and noone would bat an eye, but a man in a nice age appropriate dress and heels would make all kinds of static.. it is just society is not ready to let go of their rules of boy/girl girls can be anything and everything, boys must be boys.. it is sad..
Well, I solved that problem.....bought my "own" clothes!! Actually my wife and I share all of our clothes excepting panties, but I have many more than she does and she doesn't like mine and I don't like hers so we have to!!:)
I started dressing just before my ex and I separated. I NEVER considered trying on her things! :straightface:
Until we split up, that is! Then, she left behind some SEXY outfits that no longer fit her! But, they did ME!:D
I share clothes with my cd and tg friends here and no problem but ggs I guess are different. Maybe they feel you will stretch the material or contaminate it. Dont know why
I agree with Sheila 100%. We need to stop sneeking around behind your wife or girlfriend, or mothers backs in some cases, and stay out of their clothes. Buy your own clothes, I bought my own femme clothes as soon as I was on my own about 30 years ago, owning my own dresses and blouses and skirts and heels and other unmentionables is liberating, because its mine.
And we need not be ashamed of wearing femme clothing, I know for some of you its easier said than done, I know because I use to be ashamed of wearing a dress or skirts and heels. Now that I have shaken off the shackles of shame, I am now free to move about society enfemme, society seems to be more accepting than most of us realize, I am treated very well by almost all peaple I encounter, in fact I have been welcomed as Vivian by society, in fact GG's have been very accepting and embraced me as Vivian, yeah it's not a perfect world out there, but for me it is wonderful to be free to wear the clothes that I prefer to wear and be accepted by most of my friends and family. Now if I can find that special GG who will be my SO, then life will be grand.
Sharing is very very different to using without other peoples knowledge :Angry3::Angry3:Quote:
Originally Posted by kellgrl66
Did you ask your girlfriend or mother before borrowing?
If not, then I class it as stealing and invading someone's privacy.
Sheila, It goes without saying that I do not claim to speak on behalf of all GG's, and some might actually get a kick out of dressing their man in their clothes - although they are a relative rarity. And yes, as you so rightly point out, the central issue here is whether or not this is done openly and with the SO's acceptance or tacit approval, and not furtively and behind her back, which many would regard as an invasion of privacy and a breach of trust.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheila
There is also an element of societal stigma at play here. In today's world, it is still considered perfectly acceptable for a woman to borrow her man's clothes - nay, even sexy, and is often a symbolic way of getting closer to him and by default, feeling cocooned in his protective embrace even when he is not there personally. Witness the mania for "menswear" fashion, and the existence of "boy-shorts", "Jockey for Her", and the "boyfriend" jacket, among others. I really don't see an equivalent of this concept in men's fashion. And the word "Unisex" is really only code for men's clothing that can be worn just as well by women, and not necessarily the other way around. Besides, what makes a pregnant women feel closer to her man and happily basking in the glow of carrying his child than wearing nothing around the house than a pair of panties topped off by one of his over-sized T-shirts or dress shirts. Of course, the official party line here is that this is mainly done for comfort. Right!!!??? - and as if there were no other options...
Sheila, if you have no issue with Debs rummaging around in your closet and borrowing your clothes at will, then good on you, and more power to her. But you are also far from the norm in this level of acceptance of this type of activity.
I also have a problem with your analogy of a GG's negative reaction to her mate damaging her clothes in the process of trying them on to the act of borrowing his car or tools without his specific knowledge and then causing them similar damage. Maybe the annoyance factor might be equivalent on the surface, but when it comes to clothing, there is an intimacy issue at play here as well which some GG's would be able to handle far better than others.
My personal experience is more along the lines of what AKAMichelle reported on. My wife once got wind of the fact that I had tried on one of her bras that had already been included in a pile of clothes destined for what you Brits call a charity shop - Goodwill, to be precise. Even in that situation, she totally freaked out and let me have it with both barrels. We now have an understanding that "Leslie's" clothes are "Leslie's", her clothes are hers, and never the twain shall meet.
When I was young and first began to wear a bra, the only bra's available to me were my mother's. To make them fit, I would have to adjust the straps. Being a kid, I would often forget to return them to the adjustment that she used. I, sometimes, would see her readjusting the bra straps. She never said a word to me about it. She did, however, encourage, or allow, me to dress as a girl nearly every Halloween.
My wife is very possessive about her clothes, and would definitely be upset if she knew I wore her bras when she's at work (like now). Oh, her wardrobe is not feminine, but it is getting more so as I routinely wear women's clothes. (Like all the slips are mine, and although our panties are the same size, "hers" are colored and mine are white.)Quote:
Originally Posted by brassieres
Leslie the point being made was about openness and with full knowledge, there are very few things Debs and I can share because of our size difference .......... she is 6 inches taller than me and several clothing sizes smaller & it makes not a jot of difference that we know we can wear whatever of each others without specifically asking, but if it is bought specifically for one or the other we do as a courtesy ask before using.
It is not down to a level of acceptance that I have or any other GG it is down to plain old fashioned common courtesy of asking before using :straightface:
Social stigma will get no better until we see dressed TG's on the streets on a daily basis in daylight, shopping, eating out going about their daily routine in a dress or skirt without feeling ashamed ............ nothing will change unless you the TG make it happen ............ we as GG's can make as many arguements or your behalf as we would like, but until you yourselves get out there and just be, the general public will take not a blind bit of notice of what we have to say, only when you yourselves interact with them on a daily basis and they slowly begin to realise that you are "Normal" then and only then will societal pressures alter and fade.
YOu may have a problem with the analogy I used, but you admit it is an intimacy factor which in itself should lead you to concur that you don't borrow other peoples clothes without their knowledge & believe me some guys I know are wayyyyyyyyy more protective of their cars and power tools than many GG's I know are over their clothes .......... the analogy was put in simply to bring to light the borrowing without the others knowledge ....... it is not good be they a partner, a sibling a friend, a relative or a neighbour, we want to borrow, then we ask simple :straightface:
Social stigma will get no better until we see dressed TG's on the streets on a daily basis in daylight, shopping, eating out going about their daily routine in a dress or skirt without feeling ashamed ............ nothing will change unless you the TG make it happen ............ we as GG's can make as many arguements or your behalf as we would like, but until you yourselves get out there and just be, the general public will take not a blind bit of notice of what we have to say, only when you yourselves interact with them on a daily basis and they slowly begin to realise that you are "Normal" then and only then will societal pressures alter and fade. (Sheila's quote)
I soo agree Sheila, I wish more TG's would come out as I have, the peaple I encounter when dressed enfemme have ben very accepting, and those that were not as accepting, became more accepting as time went on and they can see that I am not a weirdo.
At first my partner was upset but now it does not really bother her she might moan a bit but doesnt go mad.
I've had both negative and what can best be described as "not caring" attitudes.
One ex i'd borrowed some of her things and actually taken a few pics and she found the pics and flipped which i think was quite fair.
Another let me wear her panties from time to time and i did tell her once that when she was away for the night i wore he lingerie and wasn't fussed. I think as long as it was just underwear she didn't mind.
My wife, when she finally discovered that I was serious about dressing, told me outright, "Stay away from my clothes!". She is not accepting of what I do. For the most part, I don't wear her things, but every so often, I can't help it but don one of her blouses/shirts, skirts, or a dress that she doesn't wear any more. I do stay away from her underthings, for they do not fit me. I have purchased my own bras and panties. The clothes that are mine, I have purchased at garage/thrift sales. I have my own pair of shoes. A few articles of clothing that I have were once hers, but she put them in a garage sale, of which I then purchased from her, thus they are now mine and no longer hers.
She would not be happy if she knew I wore her bras. Last night was a big step as I wore an uncovered slip with narrow straps when she was home for the first time. Earlier, we had gone slip shopping for me. Although I didn’t get any, as none were better than what I had, she now knew I was serious and a slip was OK even if it had a bra or bodice.
My mom caught me when I was 16. She just had a lot of questions mainly if I was gay or not. I had no clue back then about anything!
After that day, it was never discussed again and I was a lot more careful. The one thing I did notice was that all of her wigs just "suddenly" disappeared also never to be seen again.
Sorry, I just think it's wrong to wear a partner's clothes without her permission. I have not done it and would feel very guilty if I did. That's her personal stuff and I voluntarily honor her privacy. Now when she gives a cast off to me and it then becomes mine, I love wearing her old things. Kind of makes me fell closer to her in some strange way.
Luckily I never got caught when I was still living with my parents. Still, it was a relief when I got a part time job at age 15 and was able to buy a small stash of my own.
Tash :)
I found out I could wear a girlfriend's jeans one day after work....she suddenly got upset while we were still at her parents before going home. I had just grabbed jeans that morning from my closet and headed off to work, never realizing they were hers. She was more upset that they fit me than anything else it turned out. Though her perception of what her parents would think was a factor too. That was long before I really thought much of cross-dressing.
I just saw my CD for the first time, and I was at a point when I was ready and wanted to, he has his own clothes, but admitted to me that I had some dresses he had always been eyeing, so I pulled them out, and he only tried on ones that we knew he wouldn't stretch out. I would be irritated if my clothes were stretched out of ruined, but actually one of my dresses I love but for some reason makes me look pregnant, he looked better in it. I admit, I was a little jealous, but I actually found it hot that he was in my dress, so I have officially given him that one, he looks better in it than me.
When I wore the short spin slip, she remarked that it was too long for an undershirt, so last night I wore my shorter clip-it slip with a bodice, lace trim, and adjustable straps uncovered for the first time. She remarked that I was definitely wearing a woman's garment, and I replied that if it wasn't apparent under a shirt then only she and I would know.Quote:
Originally Posted by sfwarbonnet