Really considering telling my doctor about cding

Is there a good way to tell ones doctor that you prefer skirts and heels to jeans and tennis shoes.
I think its time for me to talk to my doctor about cding, this summer has been very ruff and the extra stress and possible situational depression have me thinking about asking doctor what I can do about depression and stress. at present I have a checkup in a couple of weeks and I am thinking about talking with him then.

I am not sure how I am going to tell him but I don't think I can leave out cding in a discussion about stress and depression

If you have told your doctor ( and you don't mind sharing what was the doc's reaction)

Personally, if your talking medical doctor... I don't see its any of your pcp's business and that they would even care what clothing you liked to wear... There's nothing medicaly to do with your crossdressing...... unless you want to get a referal to a shrink or a gender specilast...

I wouldn't tell mine just because I don't know what they think of crossdressing (not that I care what they think) and I wouldn't want to bias their objective opinion of my health if they think negatively of my hobby... But that's just me..

I've had been seen my Family Doctor for little more than a year... I was hiding my depression and stress but I guess your body can't...then one visit out of the blue she asked me if I was gay or if I ever had suicidal thoughts, I had to tell her the true that yes I was gay and transvestite too and than pretty often had suicidal thoughts..I think it was a positive thing she referred me to a therapist to deal with those issues and so far things have improved

As others have said your Primary Care Physician (AKA family Doc) will most likely refer you to a therapist. He/she may ask a few questions to make sure that it is not a physical problem. I would just inform him/her that you are stressed about some personal issues and would like a referral letter. Now if you want him/her to recommend a gender therapist you will need to reveal that much to him. Otherwise, he/she really does not need to know. Good luck.

There is absolutely NO reason to involve your family doctor in your CDing unless you want to. Like, if he is a friend. If you are truly depressed about your CDing (and for goodness sake, why be depressed about it? Isn't it fun?), you should be seeing a therapist. If you tell your doctor about your depression, he should refer you to a therapist anyway.

To follow up on my question, WHY are you depressed about something that gives you pleasure? And if it doesn't bring you pleasure, stop doing it! (Duh.)

Stephie

A professional who is not given key relevant facts will not be able to offer optimum treatment.

In my case, being CD / TG became a relevant to my treatment for depression, and it has turned out to be positive that I revealed it. My GP (general practioner) had been forming some erroneous hypotheses about borderline something-or-other that he now understands were quite incorrect, and it has made a difference in his treatment recommendations.

But if one were mostly just going in for annual checkups, or for some obvious physical ailment, then CD/TG would not be relevant to treatment, and whether to reveal or not becomes less obvious.

I had a physical a few months ago, and so as a result spent quite a long time with the PA (Physician's Assistant). I decided on the spot to share that part of my life with her, as I feel it is part of the picture of my whole being. Her reaction was very supportive. She even volunteered to go along with me shopping if I felt uncomfortable shopping alone when dressed. It turned out to be one of the most refreshing times I've ever spent with a doctor.

Hugs,
Ann

Hi Kelly
I have posted most of my problems and results on my depression on this site over the last 18 months.
When I first went to the doctor I never said what was at the root of my depression or what I believed was the cause of it.

How can any medical person treat you if they do not know all the facts.
As it turned out he was completely out of his depth on the issue of Cd ing.
And rather than say straight out that I was CD/TV I told him I was a member of a Forum and had printed off one of the opening pages from here.
The change in his demeanor was noticeable but he recovered quickly and was professional.

When I did more research and found a clinic that dealt with depression in males exclusively this was when I got the treatment I needed and, I DID tell them everything from the outset.

Last of all if you are not comfortable talking to your own GP find someone who does not know you from Adam and, if you still feel uncomfortable you don't have to go back and see them again.
Best of luck.
PM me if you need to know more.

PJ

Me Too:

Every time I go to the DR, I just hold my breath hoping I won't need to take of my socks (painted toenails) or my pants and shirt (shaved body). I often practiced the "excuses" I was going to use with him for this situation.

Lately I've decide that if it happins, it happens and I'm not going to make any excuses (assuming he even asks)

I've decided the he swears an oath not to blab and that good enough for me. On the other hand the situatin hasn't arisen as of yet , so time will tell

Danielle:brolleyes:

I told my GP and I got an OK response. He has been my GP for 25 years and I told him abou 15 years ago and his demeanor towards me did not change after I told him. They do need to know so that if you are in need they can better take care you.

Actions speak louder than words. What I did was to wear panties, bra, women's conservative pull over top, women's jeans (very dark blue), clogs (easy to take off when weighed and showed off my painted toenails), necklace, earrings, some rings, messenger bag purse and light make up (eye brows, mascara, base/powder and light colored lipstick. My hair was fixed as feminine as possible because it was shorter at the time. There was no mistaking how I was presenting myself. The doctor while conducting the physical evaluation had several questions, mostly about my relationship with my wife, was very professional and treated me as one would expect to be treated by the medical community.

I have been back several times over the past 18 months and everytime I dress it is a great experience and the doctors and staff are quite professional. In my last visit, I found out that we attend the same catholic church and she told me that if we met at a service and I was in drab to introduce myself as she was sure that she would not recognize me as a male.

Yes, I told my doctor a few years ago that I had thought about having a sex change. She was very supportive and told me that I really needed to get counseling with a specialist. Which I did. Three different counsellors. And finally found one who helped me realize that I didn't need a sex change, I just needed an attitude change and I needed to be in a relationship where my wife and I could both accept who I am and what I want. That lead to intense, honest, sometimes painful conversations with my wife. We both found out that each needed acceptance with our own personal problems, and we both wanted to stay married to each other and give each other the love and support we both deserve. That level of trust and commitment really started from the moment I told my doctor and has slowly built up since then. So yes, tell your doctor, because there is a strong mind-body connection and your doctor needs to know what is going on with you.

All I can say, is tread carefully. A lot of physicians still harbor private feelings that we are perverts and/or mentally ill, and although their outward behavior may say it's o.k., there may still be repercussions that you won't know about until it's too late. Remember, anything you say will probably go into your permanent medical records, and if you think that's secure, you're wrong. Everyone from the secretary, nurse, and billing folks, as well as those at the insurance company has access to your records. So unless you're 'out', remember, you may soon be whether you want to be or not. All it takes is one person on your 'health care team' to talk about what an interesting case you are, and the word can easily spread, and probably not in a good way. As one doc said to me, "Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean that there's no one out to get you". Handle your secrets with the utmost care, and of course, be prepared for the worst. Only then are you ready to take the chance for potentially horrid results from a simple desire to just be accepted for what we are.

I personally am having trouble seeing how your crossdressing is relevant to any medical issues. Stress can be considered a medical issue but I'm not seeing the connection between stress and crossdressing even. Perhaps you're just wanting to tell someone or talk to someone about it and at this point you don't care who. Your Dr. will likely refer you to a therapist. A therapist will help you learn how to deal with stress and depression and get rid of it. A doctor will just give you pills, which in my opinion, is not a solution. Taking pills for depression is like spray painting over your check engine light in your car. It doesn't solve your problem, it just hides it. Stress and depression are caused by situational factors 90% of the time. If you fix your problems, you fix the depression and that's what a therapist is there to help you do.

I told my doctor,he's a government Veterans Adiministration doctor,he called me a creep and told me to come back when I was a real man,he walked out of the exam room and had hospital police escort me out of the hospital.

What a way to treat a veteran.

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Originally Posted by Jill

A therapist will help you learn how to deal with stress and depression and get rid of it. A doctor will just give you pills, which in my opinion, is not a solution. Taking pills for depression is like spray painting over your check engine light in your car. It doesn't solve your problem, it just hides it. Stress and depression are caused by situational factors 90% of the time.

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Would you have a reference for your figure of "90% of the time" ?

My GP used to be head of psychiatry for the city, and knows more than a bit about brain chemistry. He has diagrammed for me the major stages in internal information processing and has pointed out the steps where it can go wrong and what the consequences of it going wrong in that particular way are. Sure stress is a part of the equation that can make things worse, but by the time you get to what is sometimes referred to as "Clincal Depression", there are actual biochemistry upsets that do not simply go away by lowering stress.

For example, for me, signals were being sent from the first processing stage to the second processing stage faster than the second could process them. Signals would get dropped, and the reaction of the first stage was to send them again, which compounded the problem (because all the other signals were still trying to be processed) and also resulted in signals being processed multiple times out of sync. The sort of signals that could trigger this overload could be as simple as going in to the kitchen and putting the dirty dishes in the dish washer (and you can imagine how bad that can make one feel about one's self, that one can't even do something trivial like that.) Processing this signal overload drains the brain resources. The treatment is medication to moderate the level at which those signals could be sent between stages, relieving the stress on the second stage, reducing the replication, reducing the multiple processing of the same signal, and giving the second stage enough of a pause to start rebuilding itself. It's the difference between having a bunch of people take turns to go through a door vs the same people all trying to jam through the door at the same time.

Sure, this kind of medication might not cure whatever it was that allowed the sides to get unbalanced in the first place, but it helps a lot. Been there, done that, and went from somehow who could barely leave the house to someone who could be a productive memory of public society. I'm still working to see if I can find a cure, but the medication keeps me sane and able to think seriously and explore my life and new ideas.

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Originally Posted by Elle1946

I told my GP and I got an OK response. He has been my GP for 25 years and I told him abou 15 years ago and his demeanor towards me did not change after I told him. They do need to know so that if you are in need they can better take care you.

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how can they take better care of you if they know you crossdress? this point has me confused as it shouldn't matter if I'm wearing panties or boxers if I'm having a medical issue the treatment should be the same, if I'm wearing a bra and I broke my shoulder they'll figure it out when they examine me and I'm sure they have procedures (like cutting bra straps) if need be, but nothing should impede medical assistance where CD'ing is concerned as far as I know.

now if someone was TS and was taking hormones the body would be going through changes, and the doctor would need to know as that very well can effect your health, or possible treatment options.

I mentioned it to my doctor a few months ago, and there wasn't much visible reaction - I think he was slightly taken aback, but recovered very quickly. The reason I told him was a combination of where I was feeling in my head at the time (yes, I did feel the need to tell someone), plus I wanted to present some background for my questions about phyto-oestrogens and testosterone levels. I'd also just started to shave most of my body, and decided I'd rather tell him then than me feeling acutely embarassed at some future medical exam (I just told him the simple fact that I am a CDer - I didn't go into the shaving or any other details) . Haven't tested for any repercussions yet, I guess anyone can have their prejudices, but I think it'll be fine. I suspect it probably made his day more interesting, and he'll have gone away and done some research. I was also kind of expecting to have to go back with problems with ingrown hairs or folliculitis from shaving and epilating, and again I thought forewarned would make it easier for me if not for him.

I do think if CDing has any impact on your health, then your doctor should be told, because otherwise you'll be covering up, and it may be important. I know you're talking about mental health at the moment, but it could also be something as ridiculous as twisting your ankle in heels - it's just simpler if you can talk about it honestly.:2c:

Susie

i think telling him will be a good thing.but only if you are ready.im sure he will act in a professional manner.so there is really nothing to worry about.

I told my Internist, who is my Primary doctor, over a year ago. His response was, 'should I care what you wear as long as you are decent?" I told him I just thought he should know! He just wants me to stay healthy!!

My current primary care physicians, a young female if it makes a difference, took a look at me during my first visit and asked if I would like to talk about my long hair, long polished nails, tattoos, piercings and the rest. Her manner made me pretty confident it was not going to leave the room, so I told her pretty much everything I could in the time we had. She took that all in stride and, although she doesn't seem to be particular familiar with the transgender community or issues, she has been completely accepting and even asks about my latest outings and adventures when I see her now. My status doesn't seem to make a bit of difference in the quality of care I'm receiving.

At the time, I figured I had little to lose. It was my first visit, we were feeling each other out as new doctor and patient anyway, and there were other providers I could choose from if this one hadn't worked out.

A few years earlier, I entered the hospital via the emergency room and wound up spending nine days there recovering from open-heart surgery. I certainly didn't have time to prepare for that and was probably one of the more unusual-looking patients they had in awhile. One nurse in particular took a real interest and we had several fun conversations about fashion and makeup while I was there. One funny thing is that all the technicians who worked on me had to get used to putting the little pulse oximeter clips on my fingers sideways because of my long nails. Nobody ever said a thing ...

- Diane

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Originally Posted by Kate Lynn

I told my doctor,he's a government Veterans Adiministration doctor,he called me a creep and told me to come back when I was a real man,he walked out of the exam room and had hospital police escort me out of the hospital.

What a way to treat a veteran.

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Wow I sure feel sorry for you having to go through that! I do appreciate you as a veteran, serving your country! Did you report the incident?

My wife had a bad run in with a doctor at a huge hospital a few years ago. The doctor rubber stamped her situation with his explanation for her problem, and it was totally false and was easily dis-proven by many medical test results already in her file, which he didn't bother to read. She eventually complained all the way to the top. Not sure what happened to the guy, but it's worth a shot to complain IMO.

Hugs,
Ann

I'm currently seeing a gender theraphyst ,

I didn't ask for a referal from my PCP though , what I did is call my insurance carrier and asked about mental health coverage .

I was so nervous,, I HAD to tell them what I seeking help for , I took a deap breath and told the women on the other end of the phone,, I have alot of stress in my life right now, I get depressed , I have anxiety, She asked the routine questions ,ie: Suicidal , want to hurt my self or someone else, I answered No , I'm fine with that. She said ok , I can start your approval process , I said well wait , I have another small issue to tell you. She said , oh ok ,, what is it ? I hesitated , she said , hello , Mr . ----- are you still there ? I said yea, well I think I think I'm having the issues I mentioned to you earlier because I'm questioning my Gender..

She quickly came back ,, in a different cheery type voice and said ,, Ok no problem , I'M GLAD YOU TOLD ME ,,, Because now I have a whole different list of referal choices for you.. She made me feel so relieved , with her response.. she set me up with the theraphyst , I'm currently seeing and she's a wonderfull theraphyst.

But , Now I might have to tell my PCP any way because, my theraphyst recommends I start hormones , she said she'll write me the letter needed. So now in order for me to see a Endo. Dr. , I will need a referal from my PCP , He's been my PCP since I was 18 and he'll want to know why I wan't to see the Endo , before he'll give a referal .. GULP.... Now I'm nervous again.

I won't see him till next month, So I have a few weeks to sweat it out. My theraphyst, keeps telling me ,, it's who I've always been and I've been hiding to long, who cares what everyone thinks, life doesn't have a dress rehersal ,, this is it.

So I too will be faced with telling my Primary Doctor soon ,, But I'll need to, in order to safely take the hormones , so I'm just going to have to do it . If you feel you need to talk to a professional about it , you can do what I did and call your insurance and ask to see a gender theraphyst, see if they cover it and can give you a referal.

Jinny

But if we never take chances, then we will never enjoy the respect that we deserve and will never be out. We will cower in the closet for the rest of our lives. Is that really living? Is that what we really want? The reason that Gay people have made so much progress is because they get out there and afre proud of who and what they are. Why can't crossdressers do the same?

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

All I can say, is tread carefully. A lot of physicians still harbor private feelings that we are perverts and/or mentally ill, and although their outward behavior may say it's o.k., there may still be repercussions that you won't know about until it's too late. Remember, anything you say will probably go into your permanent medical records, and if you think that's secure, you're wrong. Everyone from the secretary, nurse, and billing folks, as well as those at the insurance company has access to your records. So unless you're 'out', remember, you may soon be whether you want to be or not. All it takes is one person on your 'health care team' to talk about what an interesting case you are, and the word can easily spread, and probably not in a good way. As one doc said to me, "Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean that there's no one out to get you". Handle your secrets with the utmost care, and of course, be prepared for the worst. Only then are you ready to take the chance for potentially horrid results from a simple desire to just be accepted for what we are.

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Tell it to them straight with no sugar coating. They are there to help you as a patient. If you think they can help then by all means tell them. They aren't going to get a billboard to announce to the world that you are a cd'er

I had a first appointment today with the gal replacing my long time lady Doc...also full history, including why I have had on and off anti depressants over the years. I have a simple rule - there are 3 people you should never lie to 1) your lawyer, 2) your doctor and 3) the Fire Department. I had a couple of nice pics (the ones in my profile in the red dress) on my cell phone and she said I looked cute and asked if I was a performer...

Giggle giggle...one less thing to get anxious about.

I am seeing a new primary care doc tomorrow, for my first physical with her, and fully intend to tell her. It's partly because I am seeing an endo for the first time two weeks from now, and also because in this wonderful world of crazy coincidences, when I started going to see my counselor, I had no idea that she had the same doctor as the one I had just chosen as my new primary. At least I have a conversation starter, since my new doctor knows that my counselor councils a lot of tg people...