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I consider myself, more straight than bi. But sometimes I think it would be easier to be gay rather than straight. I could totally be myself!....But I love women. What do you think? What would be your ideal choice? Be honest, think about it, would being a gay cross dresser be less of a hassle than a straight CD?
I like women, I like women's clothes, I like femininity...sometimes I want to be a woman.
I'm afraid I would be more happy being a lesbian even if I ever made a transition into femaledom, but that's just me.
I have plenty of gay friends but I can't relate to them. I am me and I can't speak for anybody else.
Katrina, you bring up an interesting question, something I've wondered myself. I love women too, and I don't really find myself attracted to guys. I guess I could be slightly bi, and I wouldn't say that I would never consider being romantically attached to a guy. I guess if I met a TS I wouldn't be opposed to a relationship. But yes, I could see how it could be less complicated being gay and a CD instead of being straight and a CD. Just my $0.02.
I don't think it would be any easier to be strait or gay and crossdress... I've chatted with gay cd's who have the exact same issues straight cd's have. In a relationship with a guy and afraid to tell him that he likes to crossdress fearing he will dump him and run... Sexual orientation doesn't mater... Crossdressing complicates everything and anything... Imho.
Hi darling,I considered myself more straight than gay once,until,yes until my friend saw me dressed and asked if I would go to bed with him,I didnt hesitate in saying yes,why not. Since that day I have found that being gay is so much better than being straight. Also being a crossdresser allows me to feel more feminine when I can satisfy a man in this way. It gives the meaning of being a crossdresser,for me anyway,the ultimate fullfillment of why I dress.
I am Gay and on my opinion is a lot easier to be gay than CD..now if you ask me if is less hassle than be an heterosexual CD I think is the same hassle. The only positive thing about it is that people assuming you are Gay are always right:)
I have been a CD longer than most of you on this forum have been alive! I certainly do like women, and I love their clothes! That is why I am a CD!! But under the satin and lace I am still a man, and proud of it! I am not Gay, and never will be!! If that is your thing, so be it! But it is not mine, and never has been or will be! Being straight and a CD has never been complicated for me, because I know who and what I am!
Katrinakat,
to be gay or lesbian or bi or straight is not a choice. neither is being a woman or man. all are individuals and all are different. being gay or lesbian does not make it easier to crossdress nor does it make it harder. Sexual preference is for the most part not dependent on your gender or gender expression.
be who you are and let the labels go. they serve no purpose except to divide and diminish all. to seperate all from each other.
Well, it might be easier to be gay. Public awareness of homosexuality is much better than for transgender. I think it is because trans people blur the lines that people think divide them from the gender-variant people.
Personally, I like femininity for myself and a partner. If there was ever a chance of me being interested in a male, he would need to be feminine. I can totally understand two MTF women as a couple, but I'm not sure that would count as gay. (I am married, so don't think I am looking for offers.)
This is a confusing question... If you're straight, meaning a man that loves being romantic with a woman, then your crossdressing "MAY" become an issue in that relationship as your female partner wants to be with a man.
If you're gay, meaning a man that loves being romantic with another man, then your crossdressing "MAY" become an issue in that relationship as your male partner wants to be with another man as he's not attracted to women, nor men who dress as women.
If you're a woman in a man's body, and you wish to be romantic with a man, then you're not gay.
If you're straight and only like women sexually, yet you transition and continue to be sexually romantic with women, then you're now gay.
But nevermind all that.. you are who you are and you like what you like... it does not matter what others think...
very good! that is why i am here. I am straight most of the times. I shave my legs and run to keep the weight in check. I adore the female and sometimes, most of the time strive to be more like her; however I was born male, and I am male and female too,,, yes Melina is me too, she is more of me in 40+ than ever before. Gay, Bi, who cares I am gay/Bi when dressed and Gay/Bi masc, but I must add the CD is the most difficult to entrust, we are so finicky it sucks because we can help each other, but tooooo cautious
MY two cents
Melina
And when you are TS, a woman and find men intriguing. Then it's hetero again. This seems dependant if one value identity and self more then what is between the legs. I know I do, and consider myself hetero, and slightly lesbian. But these things are not very explored. But I have had wonderful evenings with men. Open doors, pay the taxy, it's all very nice. Love it. Another T sounds very interesting, but dunno where too find one.
how we each think of ourselves is complicated I'm GAY the bottom line
the real problem is the cross-dressing. or better still the fear of being found out you cross-dress why is it so bad that would be a great thread
For what I've seen, this idea of it being 'easier' when it comes to relationships isn't how it works. Almost all gay men want to be with a person who looks like a man, especially in the bedroom, whether it is some butch bear type or a 120lb twink (whatever they're into). Now, in terms of accepting behavior outside of the typical masculine "norm", sure it's accepted more there, but I feel like they get tired of too much femininity after a while. It's like it can go only so far as being some flair or attitude and the drag thing is sort of novelty, and when it's all done, they want it done.
Sorry, anything trans or crossdressed is left for the margins, everywhere, still, now...
As they say on Fark, "came here to say this, but LitaKelley beat me to it."Quote:
Originally Posted by LitaKelley
I just like women too much. I like how they look, in some ways how they act.
I don't hold a candle to how a woman moves when she walks. I look like a clumsy doof compared to a woman.
I love their syles too, but this is mostly a social restriction.
I couldn't even be intimate with Mana sama (a Japanese musician who can pull a very feminine appearance, who's work I greatly admire). I just don't like the male physique, I can barely stand my own...though I do like some features of mine.
I have tried being with a male, my best friend, and I was enfem...it did not work. He found me appealing, but I just did not find him attractive. LOL.
The great maker had fun wiring my brain. :)
[SIZE="2"]I would prefer to be a homosexual crossdresser, but I wonder if dressing up as a woman would be really necessary for some kind of sexual expression on my part. Here in 2010, I’m not sure that there is a need for a certain type of dress, and if I were a homosexual male, why would I want to dress like a female? Who am I attracting? Gay males who would prefer to be with an effeminate male, in effeminate dress? If I’m “out” in terms of sexuality, why dress to express myself clandestinely? I just worry there would be no need for crossdressing, at least in a flamboyant, fun and obvious manner, but I know I could still be bisexual and dress to a certain degree – I’m doing that right now, as a matter of fact, and I’m happy…Quote:
Originally Posted by katrinakat
:) [/SIZE]
I think being gay would be easier. No, straight. I mean bi would. Then again, nothing is "easy". Wait, my ex was. Ok, I don't think either would be advantageous over the other. But attraction to CD/TS does entertain both attraction to females and curious attraction to just the physical parts of male.
Hmmmm, I used to be indecisive on this issue but now I'm not so sure.
Ok, I have made my decision. My final answer on this one is that I am not sure. of anything really...
More experimentation is required...jury is still "hung" on this one...:heehee:
It is kind of like a "Mr/Ms. Potatoe Head" puzzle in my head right now.
:love:
I don't think being part of a minority within a minority is going to make it easier. As others have said its not really about the dressing, its about the fear of being seen as different than the majority.
Quote:
Originally Posted by katrinakat
Gosh, don't ask me.
I was just standing here waiting for the bus...
I guess you are not alone; I feel the same way.Quote:
Originally Posted by shyselina
I guess I would be Bi. I wish what we are didn't really matter - but a big or small part of each of us knows that there are times when it does and it always affects us. I wish we could go out fully dressed whenever we wanted. When we did go out, we didn't even think about it. It would be like ," Oh, I'm going to wear jeans with a tube top - No, I'll wear a dress"
and when we did, people would only notice if it was "Hot" , just attractive or OMG, what was that person thinking!" Everyone who has read any of my post knows that I have a bra fetish. I would love to be able to not think twice about instead of wearing a skirt on a certain day,to wear my man pants and shoes, but highlight my breast with a wonderful pushup bra. If some guy/gal was attracted by that look and my personality, we could go out. I've lately change my thoughts on sexuatility, now I think "Why Not". Isn't it really about sharing with another person and pleasure? Didn't the ancient Greeks, Romans and before eperience it? Probably some prude who could write, said that god (little letters because I don't think he was really talking to GOD) told him it was bad and everyone went along with that. Sorry for the rant - Now, no question Bi.
I subcribe to your reality :)Quote:
Originally Posted by LitaKelley
Hugs
Kaylee
I'm bi and I've been with a man before, but never just a man, always with a woman too. Im not gay because I know in my heart I've never liked a guy like I like a girl. I know exactly what you are talking about. I'm not really attracted to a guy like "oh he's hot", its pretty much just a sexual in the heat of the moment kind of thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by shyselina
I don't know if it would be any easier to be gay or not, I feel like you may still struggle with the same problems that we already do. I don't think the grass is any greener on the other side.
Ok i'm not gay so i guess i have no basis of comparison but I would assume that either being gay or hetero and wanting to CD is going to be an issue.
GGs here may not agree but I have been told that some women (I'm talking GG here) don't like CDing because they may not be attracted to women and even understanding that it is their BF/husband/partner under all the makeup and clothes. They may also have issues with another "woman" in the relationship. Like i said this is what i have been told.
I assume for gays there is also an issue. I would assume most male gays are not attracted to women or else they would be attracted to them and that would obviously switch their sexual preference. I assume there will be exceptions for each case, but just my opinion.
It is probably the same for both in terms of a meaningful, long term relationship. At least there are male admirers for gay TVs, there is no large pool of GGs looking for a straight TV.
The thing is you don't truly have a choice! These urges/desires are bred into each and everyone of us. The urge to crossdress is not something we choose, it is something that we feel we need. I think the greater question is that if you could choose to be gay, bi or straight you need to add the option to crossdress or not to it. The simplest form of existence is mainstream, a straight non-crossdressing male is my answer. As Karren says (here I go again agreeing with Karren, must be that common hockey player way of thinking) crossdressing complicates any relationship.
Few people, outside of ourselves can comprehend why we feel the need to go through all the effort to put on uncomfortable, restrictive, sometimes hot clothing and spend time doing our makeup, when society doesn't expect us to. I must admit, on the surface it does sound a bit difficult to understand. The part they are missing is that it is an ingrained deep seated basic need otherwise we would take the easy way and just wear pants.
did it not occur to you that gay effeminate men like other gay effeminate men i do ....but i'm easy going i might add
and gay guy's like gay guy's
then there's the gay guy who like the gay effemimate men and so on etc, etc, etc
Of course Gay men are just as diverse as the rest of the population in their likes, dislikes but I would still suggest that masculine gay men are the "blue eyed blonds" of the LGBTQ world.
I now realize I have fought being gay my entire life, however, I love women too much to be purely gay and I am bisexual. I was 43 before I realized (admitted to myself) that I am bisexual and still the only time I will or want to be with a man is when I am fully dressed. I do not think being a gay crossdresser would be an easier, but I would have enjoyed being a drag queen.
Going back a ways, I thought I was gay. Once I sorted that out, I got fairly comfortable with the notion. However, it eventually occurred to me that I was still definitely attracted to women (physically, emotionally). It was sort of a revelation to consider the idea that one could be attracted to both sexes. We bisexuals are all over the spectrum, but somewhere around 50/50 is about where it sits for me.
So, how does CDing fit into all of this? That seemed to be a relatively easy step. I was already thinking of myself as "other than". That is to say, other than a straight male. It was hardly a speedbump from there to a CDer.
So, how does all this sit from a straight or gay perspective? I don't think you can generalize as to whether being a CDer is easier or harder as a function of sexual preference. It all depends upon the individual, where they are and what their path was to get to where they are. Given all of this variation, it my not be worth spending the time and effort to consider the question...
Katrina, stop worrying about it. Just be you. Sounds like you are bisexual with a preference towards women. I consider myself bi, but I would prefer being in serious relationships with men. So, maybe I have a male preference. Who cares one way or the other? I don't. At the end of the day, you can call yourself gay if you want to...but, you know deep down you like it both ways.
I personally think it would be more miserable trying to be something that you are not. I think being gay is difficult...I think being straight is difficult...I think being bi is difficult...but, the most difficult thing of all is trying to be something that you are not.
xxoo
I definately think being a overt gay man who crossdresses is a lot more acceptable to the general public than a hetro man crossdressing. One of my gay friends attended a gay pride event in drag recently. Our co-workers know he is gay as he is very very camp and openly gay, he does not normally crossdress but when they found out he was in drag they did not bat an eyelid or make any negative comments. Although I am totally hetro I wonder if I could get away with crossdressing in public if I acted openly camp, I am sure I could.
I'm bi.
Took me alot of time getting used to really, considered myself straight but liked to crossdresser but now i'm definetly bi, love both :) haha.
But we are all bi, straights as well. Its society that tries to make us what they want?
????????????????????????Quote:
Originally Posted by mklinden2010
Some of us live in a world that was yesterday, or rather that will soon be yesterday... The earth is moving and I am hopeful that these issues will disappear...Quote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
In the meantime... CDs are a strange and wierd bunch of aliens!
Yes because the person that saw you and was interested enough to make contact would want you to perform all the things he saw in the female, that being you. It could take CDing to a much more feminine level. See georginamiles posts and the change it made in her, for the better!
i was discussing this with my GF and she had some addl thoughts regarding gay men and CDs. She thought that a CD partner might be the perfect "cover" for a guy who wanted to be me with another man, but out in public they might look like any other hetero couple. But back at home with all the clothes off things might be all different.
i suppose thinking about it MJ is quite correct. there probably are gay guys that like effeminate men or maybe they are bi and really like the look and touch of a woman. So that works for them. I suppose at some level i was thinking that most guys would want a masculine athletic type, but maybe that was just my thoughts. I really hadn't pondered that much, just glad i have a GF who tolerates me.
i suppose there is that whole aspect of the general public thinking that everyone who CDs is gay anyway.... a classic misconception
also i liked the sentiment expressed by Shananigans
Just go with the flow and find someone you're attracted to be it a man or a woman.I sway from liking girls to guys and vice versa.right now I have deep feelings for a guy who I've been intimate with one crazy night but who now insists he's straight.maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and find a girl,who knows
People are strange (to quote Jim Morrison). I think sometimes y'all feel like you are weirder and more on your own than you really are. There are some "interesting" quirks to some CDs...but, I find that most people have pretty interesting quirks. I think most of the time y'all try to dissect everything and come up with a reason, a label, and an explanation for your behaviors...but, sometimes it just is what it is and you have to just be yourself and make yourself happy instead of looking for other people to give you an explanation that probably will not scratch the surface of your true self.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaz
P.S.
That sounded really hippie, but I stand by it.
if one wants to be a dentist when they grow up.. and they go to school... and become a dentist.. then they are a dentist.. but really.. they are not a dentist..
Katrinakat, isn't this a contradiction? There are 3 distinctions here 1) straight e.g. likes women exclusively 2) gay e.g. likes men exclusively 3) bi directional e.g goes in either direction with some variation in percentages from 1 to 99.Quote:
Originally Posted by katrinakat
Isn't a gay crossdresser really a bi-sexual person? whose percentages vary the same as a straight bi-sexual (no pun intended).
If gay men or lesbians are straight, then their preference would be exclusively straight gay or straight lesbian women. As you start to deviate from the "norm", then the description has to vary with the percentages somewhat.
In fact, is there a straight crossdresser? according to this forum, the answer seems to be NO if we look at the statistics on the threads dating CDs and a number of other threads dealing with CD's prefereing sex with another cd when they are dressed as a female--the classic description of a transvestite (i.e a man dressing as a women to have sex with a man or a closet gay seeking sex with another gay man. Humans are so good at rationalization or finding ways around the self-evident truths.
Unfortunately, there seem to be no purely straight gays on this forum to answer your question, but then it wouldn't make sense to that person would it? because they would not be here if they were straight gay. The answer for them MIGHT be that just being gay was problem enough in a world that doesn't tolerate anything but straight male or female inhabitants on this planet.
Is it better to be rich and anonymous or rich and famous where you can't do anything for fear of your life, wealth or whathaveyou.
You are asking a question that can't be answered becauseif you are not the "other half" of the equation, you cannot know what it is you are responding to.
Immovable object or unstoppable force---it's a trick question.
I wear women's clothing because I like the feel and freedom and whatever, but I CANNOT know what it is that women feel because I was born and raised as a male. NO chemistry or surgery is going to make my brain respond any differently.
(I've just opened my umbrella because I can already see the "rain" coming down. I am a bi person--Cassandra and Pandora at the same time.:2c::2c::2c::
I dont think it gets easier on either side! I think these things too
Honestly, it's no easier either way. Also, it's kinda unfortunate sometimes... but we can't really *choose* to be gay or not. Either we are, or not. But I'm sure we all think about this eventually.
I had an online flirtation going on with another male CD for a while but nothing ever came of it. If I ever was with a man, it would have to be a fellow CD, and a very feminine one at that.
I wonder if you ask because then people would say "oh that's o.k for him to do that, he's gay", as if it is a free pass to act as feminine as you like ? Easier, don't think so, I have a ton of gay friends, male and female (I am straight and work in the entertainment industry) and I always feel for them as they cannot walk around our place of work and enjoy the same "freedoms" that I do. Such as holding my wife's hand, putting my arm around her, kiss her good-bye when I drop her off in her area of work etc ... So while you might think it is easier I think it all comes down to just having the courage to say "screw what people think" and do what you want to do when you want to do it. Gay people go through the same issues straight people do, if you are self conscious/shy you are self concious/shy, gay or straight.
I am not sure I like the assumption that "being" gay is a choice. That is just the same as saying "being" transsexual is a choice.
I choose to be a happy person. Everything else just is.
In the end it comes down to respect regardless of race, creed, color of your skin, gender be it real or implied or weather your gay, straight or bi.
Make love not war ...works for me
I'm very confused by this post. There are lots of straight crossdressers, or are you using a different meaning for the word straight? :)Quote:
Originally Posted by busker