I think I know what we all have in common! (besides XDR)

That's my new way of abbreviating crossdressing by the way... "XDR"...an alternative to CDing which implies we listen to CDs (compact disc's) ...music lovers.

Anyhow, I think what we all have in common is that we all like our "alone time"; not to say you like to be alone all the time. But when you are, you don't mind it. You enjoy the alone time- dressed pretty preferred but not necessarily. You need to have your alone time at some point, as a way of resetting.

Wrong or spot on?

...XDR sounds like a dirt bike:D

An x in front of a couple letters also signifies some ones dedicated railroad coal cars. Or maybe a stock exchange ID.

When I read "XDR" all that came to my mind was XDR(eXtreme Data Rate) Ram that the Playstation 3 uses.....I know like a million acronyms.

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Originally Posted by Ria

Anyhow, I think what we all have in common is that we all like our "alone time"; not to say you like to be alone all the time. But when you are, you don't mind it. You enjoy the alone time- dressed pretty preferred but not necessarily. You need to have your alone time at some point, as a way of resetting.

Wrong or spot on?

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Well, I can't speak for anybody else but it does fit me. I was an only child and my mother had to work to support us so I had many hours of alone time where I had to amuse myself. It is quite a relief to be on your own for a while.:heehee:

I do love my alone time. I do get plenty of it too and spend most of it dressed. but now its like I WANT NO ALONE TIME! so I can try to take a break from dressing but its not working at all. I still just leave where ever I'm at to come home and put my girl clothes on. I really think I'm starting to loose it lol! its going to be a long winter...

I grew up alone, I work alone, I live alone, not menu friends, due to my work hrs no phone calls, saying hay let's go do this.
so yes I spend lots of time alone.

I also enjoy my alone time, however I also enjoy spending time with others. what drew you to this conclusion?

It is an interesting thought, but for me I think I'd like my alone time regardless of my need to crossdress.

The only time I think I want to be alone ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,is when I'm not alone..... and Good God. not sure if I can stand myself for more than two minutes! :drink:

Okay..well that completes that list of acronyms.. YDR, XDR, ZDR.. now I can work on ACR or ADS..oh yes, the world has enough acronyms when I start thinking this way :)

I'm curious as others too, on how you drew this conclusion and is it all based on the "XDR" issue or as others stated, just needing alone time?

With two dogs and two cats that crave attention, then add 3 young adults who feel the need to babble about mindless topics at a voicestrous tone...oh yes, I need my alone time :)

IMHO, we learn to like alone time because we are different from most people and we learn to fully express ourselves while alone. If we all had numerous crossdressing friends throughout or life, I don't think the alone-time trait would be that common.

As for XDR versus CD: Some crossdresser sites have target advertising and things like "CD Player" come up. It's impossible to avoid multiple meanings for abbreviations, but CD is a bit too common. If you really want something different, why not just CDR?

Some people dislike GG and use "RG = Real Girl" instead, because some people use GG as a term for a horse. (I don't know how GG translates to horse.)

Yes, I think that for me I do enjoy my alone time, and i believe i was reading that for group 3 MTF ( ref: http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm ) it is typical for us to spend alot of time alone in adolescence, I know I did. Being used to that, it would make sense that we value it still today.

Oh, and i'm working on the car decal for us :)

Hugs
Kaylee

I'm not usually a big fan of acronyms, but the "XDR" one isn't bad. I suppose you could take it to mean 'a former doctor."
But enough of that...I also find your theory about alone time one well worth pondering. I know I spent a lot of time alone as an adolescent and I still do as a grown-up, and generally enjoy it. Interesting thought...

I like it!

I do not want alone time, Yes there are times when a CD or TS or Gay or lesbian has alone time. However I don't really think that is what they really want but what they have to do to survive. To be honest I want to be with others and share my joy's and sorrow.

I like my "private" time whether I am dressed up or not. Of course, I do enjoy it a lot more when I am dressed.

I for one like my alone time so spot on analysis for me.
However I sure wouldn't want to be lonely, that's why I come and chat here.
PJ

For some, CDing is an "anti-social" activity. It is for me! Except for all the discourse I have online, I dress alone! I value my alone time and always have! WAY before I became interested in dressing!

However, I know MANY girls like to get together when they're dressed. And, many others wish they could. So, I don't think lumping CDs together in ANY broad category is good idea!

It works for me, I love my alone time, cross dressing, or reading, or stalking birds around the marsh with my camera. I've always seen myself as a bit of a loner, since I was a small child. Which is really good for a closet dresser.
Being retired and having a wife that still works part time, I get a lot of alone time, and when I don't get it for a while I will find somewhere I need to go for a few hours just for the peace and quite.
Tina B.

I have been mostly alone for over 5 years, since my dear late wife passed on! And contrary to what others have said, IT AIN'T NO FUN!! I would give anything to have her back!!

BTW, CD'ing works fine for me! Don't like XDR!!

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Originally Posted by Ria

Anyhow, I think what we all have in common is that we all like our "alone time"; not to say you like to be alone all the time. But when you are, you don't mind it. You enjoy the alone time- dressed pretty preferred but not necessarily. You need to have your alone time at some point, as a way of resetting.

Wrong or spot on?

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For my part, it's spot on. When you're in the closet your entire network is based on you presenting as a male, and I'd tell you, it's complicated enough already.

Every now and then I need some quality time to myself, of course I'll dress! My only regret is not spending that quality time outside in the wild.

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

An x in front of a couple letters also signifies some ones dedicated railroad coal cars.

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Coal cars, you say? Tell me more. I happen to like both railroads and coal!

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Originally Posted by KayleeDahl

Oh, and i'm working on the car decal for us :)

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Please, use Helvetica! :eek:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sissystephanie

I have been mostly alone for over 5 years, since my dear late wife passed on! And contrary to what others have said, IT AIN'T NO FUN!! I would give anything to have her back!!!

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Same here, although only 30 months for me. Yes the kids are near enough to give support, and my little dog is just brilliant, although the conversation with him is a bit one sided. But if we could only turn back the time!!!!

What I'm getting at is... crossdressing (XDR) aside, you've always liked your alone time. As some have pointed out, it may have started in adolescence. That's a great comment because it applies to me. I spent lots of time building model kits, sketching and drawing, now I'm an artist, a painter... I have made many great friends throughout my life also so don't take me as a hermit.

My kitchen is a good size so it doubles as my studio so I can socialize with my family as I paint. I would be a hermit otherwise! Everything in moderation in attempt to be a somewhat balanced person is important for me. Admittedly I struggle at times though. Some things are hard to get enough of =)

In an attempt to explore the inner workings of the crossdresser's mind I thought I may have found a common thread among us? maybe not...

My heart goes out to anyone who has lost their partner in life and I can understand how this topic would conjure negative associations to "alone time", how could it not.

Oh! I almost forgot... Kayleedahl, I love the XDR decal! Mia Tao is right, we should stick these on our bumpers and rear windows!!!

I love to go out and socialize when I'm looking pretty, However I Must Have Some Alone Time as well, or I tend to get a bit cagey. Even when I was married and living in a household of 8 other people I had to find time now and then to just be on my own, of course that's not a problem anymore...

For me it's not so much related to my cross-dressing desires, but perhaps there is a common need among us to have the space to work things out on our own occasionally. My last GG gf never could quite understand that aspect of me wanting to be alone now and then, even though she was 'mostly' accepting of my feminine ways.

As for the XDR acronym, I think it's awesome! I would proudly slap one of those stickers on the back of my chariot!

I get cranky without my alone time. IT's like breathing....and of course I'm always dressed.......in fact even though I dress in front of many people I still enjoy my, times dressed in solitude.
I think it gives me introspection.

I find my comfort
For sometime,
Until i dress another time.

Simple but to the point!

Hey Ria, totally know what you mean. I am by nature an extrovert. But to do Kaz I have to go "me time" and there is always this tension I have?

I like being with people at my job, I love being with family and friends, but I also enjoy being alone. I do live alone but don't feel lonely. I really like hiking in the forest or mountains alone too. I am alone when I "dress" but a Tgirl friend is coming over in two weeks to hang out and it will be the first time I'm with someone as Donna.

Being single for life, i have been alone most of the time, except when with roommates, or renting rooms with others. Now that i have my own apartment, I have lots of time alone. My cats get lots of loving. I don't have the energy to get all dressed up every day, so it is like once a week. In this midwest cold weather now, i am wearing tights under my pants! As for XDR, it is good, but too hard to say. Maybe PW, for pantywaist! A bumpersticker PW!! It is true. We almost all wear panties! I can laugh at myself here!

XDR made me think of eXtreme Dynamic Range, a noise reduction technique for audio tapes. I am such a nerd!

I kinda like Virginia Prince's "FP", or femmiphile, though it sounds too much like "pedophile" I suppose.

Outside of work, I spend most of my time alone, and always have, and tend to naturally avoid other people. It is very hard for me to be social, especially as a male. Probably all those years growing up being abused, makes me want to isolate I suppose.

I think we all need our time alone, crossdresser or not. Reflection is a very common thing and people need time to reflect on their life. Sometimes it is just a breather, a break to replenish the soul. Life can't always be go, go, go.

I'm an only child, so I sure know how to handle "alone time".

But....

If I wanted to be alone, I would not have gotten married. I enjoy the company of my wife, no matter what gender I'm presenting.

Tina

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Originally Posted by juno

If you really want something different, why not just CDR?

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Most cross-dressers don't want to be read and CDR is the abbreviation for CD Reader :eek:

To go back to the original question, I do have a tendency to spend time alone, but that may be partly to do with having spent 10 years as a local councillor where everyone expects access to you 24/7

As a kid I was always the 5th wheel. If it was just me and one other person then things were fine but anymore and I was the 5th. Often times and even today, people's "second choice".

In good ol middle school, a time when our social development is at the most critical time, I remember being embarrased cause some prick decided to announce that I had been caught wearing hose. Well, after that day, for the rest of that school year, and a few months into the new year, I would hide around the corner away from everyone else at the bus stop. They finally did tell me, "Come on over here with us" and it wasn't bad but the fear of that incident being brought up again was always on my mind when I was around the rest of the kids.

I have had more than my fair share of rejection in life. I think one just gets conditioned to the point where being alone doesn't phase them much, if at all. I know it caused me some damage, cause sometimes in the past, just to hurt people's feelings (or at least try) I would say "Well after (whenever) you won't have to see or hear from me anymore".

The first part of this conditioning, during childhood, consists of "why don't the like me" or maybe "why don't they want to hang out with me?" or whatever and you sit alone and pout or even cry. But after a time, you just get so used to it that you quit caring for the most part.

I hate to say but anymore even when I do get invited to go to something or make new friends, I just don't feel like putting the effort.

As the youngest of ten, I didn't have much alone time during my childhood. To be alone, you made sure you locked the bathroom door. In fact, I was usually terrified to be in the house alone until I was a teenager. The house made too many noises even when no one else was around. Even now I don't feel comfortable walking somewhere I'm not used to alone. I do it at work as I'm on my own all day (phone repair guy, many different places everyday).

I do like my alone time at home though and look forward to those times.

XDR- its new and creative. I like it! I love my alone time yet I love time with others.

I've sometimes wondered if I'm a loner because of the XDR or if that's just different baggage. All in all, it seems like those of us who have felt different would have a tendency to distance ourselves from the majority pack that's different from our normal. Closeted sisters would seem to have reason to log lots of special alone time.

I love and need my alone time too and I'm a non-CDing GG.

But, I don't get antsy if there are people around and I haven't been alone for awhile. I know that eventually things will come to a natural close and I will get back to being alone.

I have to say that even as a GG I completely relate to the concept of having alone time.

For 3 years before my ex-husband & I separated we lived completely separate lives with the exception of the kids & 'pretending' for family & social functions. When those were over I couldn't wait to be alone.

Fast forward to the present & my cd boyfriend has moved in with myself & my kids. After having spent so much time alone, I miss it sometimes when I don't have any time at all just to myself. And yet, I miss him terribly when he's not around lol. Catch-22 I guess.

I think that a certain amount (it differs for one person to the next) of 'me' time is necessary for centering of one's self but also for introspection & sanity. We are inundated all day long with socializing, social media & media messages. I know myself at the end of a busy day at work where my mind has been going 100mph all day, all I really want is to come home & decompress before being 'needed' for something.

Hope that makes sense lol, ended up being longer than I'd planned!