Comments that make you believe they know!

Personally I'm at a place in life I don't really care who knows any more and though I have not announced it to the world.... I still pickup on comments and the way they were posed that indicates that the person I'm talking to know I crossdress..

Just a few minutes ago a coworker in another department was explaining this woman he saw downtown and what she was wearing.... "She had these spiked heel boots that lace up both sides..... You know.... Its not like I have a pair but you might...". So was that just a joke or does he assume I have a lot of women's foot ware at home?

Last year our VP was walking with a group of us and this girl walks by with a pair of black and white zebra pattern heels on and he says to me "I better not catch you wearing anything like those to work".... I responded that I had nothing to wear with shoes like that and mine were much more sedated... So he knows I wear high heels and doesn't want me coming to work enfemme?

None of the comments are mean or hurtful... Just like mater-of-fact comments.... From "your such a girl" to "the ladies dressing room is over there", I can go on and on..... So is it just me that gets these comments or am I imagining this? Who else get comments that make you think everyone knows and what are they?

No comments yet, though I worry all the time.

My guy fb page has a pic of of me dressed up, and I have one co-worker, four ex-co-workers, and one next door neighbor of a lesbian coworker as friends on the thing.
If I'm dead, I'm dead.....so far so good (....keeping my fingers crossed).

Personal friends & family notwithstanding.

It's hard to say. Could be coincidental attempts at humor, or they might be fishing, you never know.

If you underdress at work, maybe someone caught a glimpse of something that's given you away? ;)

Carol

I wonder if there are things we say that tip them off. Today was "wear red day" and I made some comment about the red dress run and the red hat society and asked if I really have to wear red again?

I was joking (sort of) but with those occassional joking comments, some of my co-workers may wonder about me. . .

Oh yeah. Same kind of comments at work. I just throw it back at them now. No point being defensive, just embarrass them so they think twice about making those kind of unwelcome comments.

Ginger

Karren, you've been with your company a long time. You underdress at work and go out dressed while on the road. I think they're on to you girl.

Lol. I remember you saying that Nathalie and haven't gone to your male FB page to befriend you yet! :) I think the younger you are the more you worry?

They might know, but they probably have no understanding of what it means. Haven't you said in the past that in your office, you don't bother hiding your more eclectic, or feminine tastes? I suspect most people (unless they have severe moral or religious objections) think the CDing is just some sort of kink.

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Originally Posted by NathalieX66

No comments yet, though I worry all the time.

My guy fb page has a pic of of me dressed up, ...
If I'm dead, I'm dead.....so far so good (....keeping my fingers crossed).

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umm, so if you worry, why post on your guy fb page? Thrill of taking risks?

Well Karen,

Of COURSE they know. How could they not? I mean, you're "KAREN the FABULOUS" aren't you? Contrary to the prevailing opinion on this forum, most people just don't care what you wear in your spare time.

Do your job, love your family, pay your taxes, be kind to your neighbors, go to church, and nobody minds a little CDing. Your boss has told you not to show up at work dressed like that, so don't.

Stephie

Get em all the time....I would worry if I didn't ..Because if they didn't make remarks then they must know..

I don't know. I think it's just part of macho guy/guy ribbing. I wouldn't get too paranoid.

I mean, just two days ago at work, a woman had left her stylish computer bag (hot pink leather) in one of the chairs and ran to the restroom before a meeting. A guys comes in, looks at the bag and says "Mind if I move your bag and sit there?"; he was smiling.

I responded that I would never carry that color bag with a tan shirt. The others in the room laughed.

The funny this is that I had never even met this guy before. I am a consultant and frequently go to different companies.

Oh, and many times, I have been hanging out with friends and they have said things like "That skirt is so hot, even you would look good in it." My stock response is "Only when entertaining close friends." And that always gets a laugh.

When I came out to my wife (I had never dressed while married), she said "So, only while entertaining close friends...that isn't really a joke is it?". My response: "It's always been a joke...makes me laugh inside." :)

I am a self-employed Insurance agent, so no co-workes to comment. However, I do out dressed enfemme almost every day and should get a lot of comments!!! Surprisingly I get very few!! The reason I should get comments is because although I am dressed totally as a woman, I look exactly like the man that I am!! No wig and no makeup. Well, maybe some lipstick but that is all!! Been going out that way for several years now, and have never had any type of problems!!

But Karren, I think Heather is right. Your co-workers do know!!

Why Yes I under dress at work. For the last ..... A long time. And yes I'll the only guy wearing red for National Wear Red Day... And yes I have a ton of lotions on my desk and pink tissues and makeup in my desk drawers! Doesn't everyone? I was thinking that everyone gets these comments? Lol

To me, that sounds like a case of "I know I'm not supposed to say anything, but it makes me a little uncomfortable, so I'm going to try to relieve the tension with humor." Go easy on them, I think they're trying to show you it's hard for them, but they want to at least be credited with trying to be accepting.

Had one just the other night. I've been taking "fencing lessons" for the past year. One of my classmates and I got to joking about rather than wear the traditional Fencing jackets, why not wear something akin to the English Dandy Fop complete with lace cuffs. She commented that she thought I'd look good in Velvet and lace. Of course my bright pink gear bag might be a "give away"

I don't think I've had any comments like that.....yet. I'm clearly not trying hard enough. One guy at work has made comments about me using face cream, but I'm not sure if that's because of my radiance-boosting moisturiser or the fact that I have a tube of dermatological hand cream on my desk (I have some dry skin on my fingers that is a real pain, but that's not a TG thing)

It doesn't sound like they're too worried about it Karren, at least as long as you don't wear women's jeans.

There are people who fall into what I call "Category 4," or "Close Encounters of the 4th Kind." Those are the folks in your life who are most comfortable with a "don't ask, don't tell" approach. They have noticed a few things but really would prefer if the possibilities were neither confirmed nor denied.

Knowing that you crossdress would make them uncomfortable around you, so they just accept any "evidence" as part of who you are and never want to put the pieces together.

Karren, I drop all the hints in the world, to the friends in my area, my next door neighbor says they all know, i know they know...i even drop little jokes ...but they are afraid to respond , even in a joking manner... i sort of wish they would...i would have fun with it.

Work???? some know, as i have told them..mostly the women... if i bring it up they will talk with me but they won't go...how was your weekend, did you have any niki time, when are you going to the Raven again, i wanna go too etc.

i have been called a b*tch a few times at work or by customers. I simply state " you call me a B*tch like its a bad thing.'" they smile, and shut up.

My Work colleagues know about me so its a different situation for me,any comments I will hear are with knowledge of my femme side,I get some funny comments from one of my close GG friends that I think she says to keep my feet on the ground but ive not heard any negativity from colleagues or noticed any bad attitudes towards me maybe because they have worked alongside me for a long period they ok with this knowledge about me.Unless the comments are hurtful they shouldnt imo be anything to worry about,now if you walked in dolled up they might be different

Hard to say because we do not know these people or your work situation. But, as a guess I would say they know and do not care. The quality of your work is all that matters.

KARREN

the older i get i know the less i care what are they going to do take my birthday away HAHAHA i can only hope i just enjoy life and have fun, stay out of the cold it looks awfull back there

hugs susie

Good comment would be the time at Wal Mart when the cashier said "That dress will look good on you," was in drab at the time. Bad comment would be when t another Wal mart cashier aske rudely, "Are these sandals yours?" where the entire font end could here her. I smiled at them both but only said thankyou to the first one. Billie Jean

As a serious, serial CD'er, you tend to throw out little inuendo's most of the time. Especially when the pink fog is strong. You do it without consciousness.

Who can blame anyone if they feed off the inuendo's. BUT, when they throw some back at us, we get all paranoid about them knowing.

I used to get the "ladies room", "shoes", "clothes" jokes all the time. Heck, I used to get the door opened for me and "Be careful guys, there's a lady in the room!".

Then I went full time............ Some had a clue, many didn't. A lot had the wrong idea and thought I was gay. Others just thought I was new age and sensitive.

And what does it really matter? So long as you aren't being hauled out the back door and being tarred and feathered. If people like you, they really don't care if you wear a nighty to bed or not. What difference is it if you wear pink knickers or black jocks? If they don't like you, so long as they keep their barbs to themselves, all the better.

Want to give yourself away, a good time to do it is when these banters are flying. BUT, don't be surprised when they tell you that they really didn't know and that they thought it was just a bit of good natured fun.

Oh yeah they know! I myself would welcome comments like that! Just today, being wear day I wore red lipstick and dressed as a male going thru McD's drive thru the girl said thank you mam , HAVE A NICE DAY MAM!

Every now and then my older brother will say something to make me think he knows that I dress this way.. A few Christmases ago when we were playing that dvd clue game and I decided to be Miss Scarlet, in what I think was a limited number of players game where Scarlet was one of four I think.. Anyway I took the "Scarlet" piece and he said something to the effect of he always wondered.. and my lack of thinking I did say yeah well you know, I've always had a cross dressing tendency.. DAMN, SHOULDA GONE FOR IT..

A friend of mine who I participated in community theater with would always drop these type of comments. The group would often joke that I was the resident cder of the theater company since they were all aware that I dressed for a few of our shows. She however threw out more suggestive comments. One time after a show, we were all standing around and I noticed her shows. They were quite cute and stylish and I liked them, but I simply commented on how pointed they are and she asked me if I wanted to try them on. I didn't cause that would have seemed weird at the moment with others around and they were to small. Another time, she asked if I wanted to go dress shopping - I can't remember how that even came up. It was all those little comments said with kindness and playfulness. Finally, after coming out to one other friend, I decided to tell her as well. When I did, she was surprised. I asked if she knew and she said that she knew that I had an interest but didn't know I was a cder. So sometimes, the comments are just that - innocent comments and our imagination reading in it yet there are those that we wonder if they really do know something. By the way, she would later help me with my hair and makeup that is seen in my avatar.

I don't think they know. It is a power technique to catch you off gaurd. They are saying, hey, I'll make a joke to this guy and see how he responds... 1. If he jokes back, he's a good guy, 2. If he turns red, I just learned something... and 3. If he tells me the history of shoes...Its more than I want to hear... The other thing, if they do know, then they are fishing for more information or they are letting you know that they know, but they are okay with it to a point as long as it doesn't impact work. At work once one of the other managers was constantly telling everyone he was the woman in his relationship...no one ever asked him how much of a woman..but it didn't seem to phase anyone.

One time we were visiting my wife's parents, and as we were leaving my mother-ini-law offered us a couple of things to take with us if we wanted. One of them just happened to be a size 14 skirt. Now, my wife wears a size 2, so it would seem that my mother-in law intended the skirt to be for you know who.

BTW It's a darling skirt and it fits me perfectly.

I've lost count of how many work clients, relatives (mine and my wife's) and friends from school (which was such a looooooooong time ago) are friends with both my girl profile and my identical twin brother's profile on FB. :p I've also got some TG friends who are friends with both.

There are plenty of other people who know but choose not to say anything. I rarely get the joking comments. I am a self employed engineering consultant, so I don't have work colleagues!

I think that most people know that I know that they know about me, so they don't see a need to drop hints. :)

A few weeks ago I couldn't find my cell phone after I arrived at work, I was looking everywhere for it. Then one of the guys asked if I had left it in my purse, It was one of those ah ha moments. I went out to the car and sure enough that's where it was. I came back with phone in hand, several people smiled, they know.

Quite a few people know but don't say anything. My wife used to be 'tolerant' but then she got the notion to get me 'cured'. Before that happened she would always say "yes ma'am" or some such thing. Other people caught on to that. So I really don't know everyone that knows about me.

Karen, Karen Karen, I remember your wilder days of a few years ago when you were posting pictures of you in the unisex bathroom at your work location where you were trying on the women's clothes you had purchased at lunch time! With all of the other stories about being caught looking at this site at work as well as the number of times you almost ran into coworkers dressed and you assumed they didn't recognize you, the answer to your question is YES THEY KNOW! The good news is that, unless you haven't told us about it, they still seem to accept you as a co-worker and apparently as useful one at that (maybe your usefulness is the fact that they can gossip and joke about you behind your back :) ).

As far as I am concerned though, I have not received these comments at work.

Karren, don't worry about comments from your co-workers, unless they start calling you HUN!!

A few things come to mind..... When we were stationed in Germany, the wife bought me a nice leather coat, in the mens dept. of a major clothing store. Guess how it buttoned?? Guess how ALL of the mens coats buttoned??

At a U.S. Dillards, I bought my wife a pretty (and tasteful) red dress. The check out lady (45 ish?) said, "That's really pretty. With your skin tone, you'll look stunning in it. Did you check out our heels?". Mind you, I'm in serious drab. My response? "Yes, I WOULD look good in it, but they don't have my size. This one's for my wife. I already have heels (I really don't)". She then said, "That's sad. Have a nice day." with very pleasent.

WOW, A.J. I just saw your avatar and can't believe how much you look like my GG kid sister!

I get what I would call ambiguous comments and smiles at times. One co-worker just asked me if I was wearing mascara (which I was, very light touches of it); I said yes and she smiled and said that it brought my eyes out and that it looked good. She did this when no one else was around, but she didn't "hush-hush" it, nor did she say anything ever again. She has now moved to another office in another town.

See girls, if you get such comments, no need to panic & run as if you had just been caught embezzling by your boss.
And the movies prove that if you do run, and hide out at a remote motel, a judgemental "mother" might pay you a visit.:)

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Originally Posted by CaitlynRenee

WOW, A.J. I just saw your avatar and can't believe how much you look like my GG kid sister!

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I feel so sorry for her. :p

i get them all the time,recently about getting my ears pierced.anytime someone make a comment i just response with i have to loose weight because my dresses are getting to tight or my panty hose are to tight.they just laugh, if only they knew the real truth.This friend of mine was using my computer and i had left my facebook logged in and he saw my picture and ask is that you i said maybe or maybe it's one of your friends,he said nothing after that.

Have you checked in the mirror to see if somebody put a sticker on your back that says:


"I'm a crossdresser, KICK ME ! ".

Hey, you never know...:D


I can tell you from personal experience that I totally freaked out the night I completely shaved off my eyebrows! The next few days, I was meticulously drawing in eyebrows with an eyeliner pencil and eye shadow.

A few weeks later, it takes me two seconds to sketch a quick line, check my image in the mirror, and believe nobody will notice...yeah, right. Then I blew off removing my foundation before going to meet a client to hand off some paperwork. He immediately said..."what is that on your face? You look like you are wearing make-up!!" I quickly covered by saying it was "self-tanner" and I was using it as "windblock" when shoveling the snow. I actually convinced myself I pulled it off...:brolleyes:

Hey, good news is that we are all too old to be sent to our room now, right?

You are probably just fine, and so am I. "You're OK, I'm OK", right? That is what that book said...so we must be right? right? alrighty then...:thumbsup:

And really...nobody mines anyway...oh, wait...I guess everybody mines where you work...:)

:D

:hugs:

This might be a clue that they know.. "you look nice in that skirt but your slip is showing."

I've gotten the "you're such a girl" comment a couple of times from female co-workers. One gave me the code name Marta, I guess because Kim wasn't fem enough!

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

So is it just me that gets these comments or am I imagining this? Who else get comments that make you think everyone knows and what are they?

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no Karen. It's not just you. Matter of fact that happened to me yesterday at work.

Sitting at the usual lunch table with all the ladies I eat lunch with, gossip with and plow through mags like shape and the nordstrom Xmas catalog. Another ladies sits down and starts to talk. She mentions that she is doing the Seattle marathon 5k this year. I asked her why that one and not the iron girl? She said she never heard of iron girl so I explained it to her. That it is for girls/ladies only. You get this and that and it's to benefit women. So she asked me why I don't do it myself. Once again I tell her it's only for women. So she says. Well. Why don't you get a wig. I tell her I have a wig but they still won't let me do it. With a shocked look on her face. She asks me. Why do you have a wig? I answer her. Actually o have three. Really I have four. With shock. Three?! Then it happened. The usual ladies I have been eating lunch with. Well one of them is casually flipping through a mag and smirking to herself. Without skipping a beat say matte if factor. " he's a crossdresser that's why " and turns another page. So the first lady looks at me and says. No? Really. I tell her she just told you didn't she. Turning to the lunch mate she asks. How long have you known this? Since he was looking at the nordstrom Xmas catalog last year in the beginning if December. I just smiled and laughed inside.

You see. I never said a word to her about crossdressing. She put it all together. She felt comfortable enough around me to know I wouldn't care. Which I don't. And clearly she doesn't either. I ate lunch with her today. Not a word about yesterday.

I really think she was thinking to herself. " how thick can you be? He's all but written it down for you. Catch a clue ".

So yes Karen. Happens to others as well.

Hey Karren, they know and don't care. Just come out already.

The guys at the shop are always telling me Im such a girl. Do you really think they know???

Karren, from all your other posts I just cant believe anyone who knows you doesn't know. But as you say, who cares?

Hugs, Christine

Yes some know and I even get comments from customers or strangers sometimes I like colorfull clothes and sneakers but I have been outed several years ago and I am now 48 and just dont care everyone have a great day

It never happened to me in 30 years. I'm too big, too ugly and apparently hid it too well or sent out so many different signals they missed the CD one. They all figured I was just an ex-hippy tree-hugger liberal data geek and explained everything to them. Karren, I think the folks at your work have too much good data to work with.

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

Personally I'm at a place in life I don't really care who knows any more and though I have not announced it to the world.... I still pickup on comments and the way they were posed that indicates that the person I'm talking to know I crossdress..

Just a few minutes ago a coworker in another department was explaining this woman he saw downtown and what she was wearing.... "She had these spiked heel boots that lace up both sides..... You know.... Its not like I have a pair but you might...". So was that just a joke or does he assume I have a lot of women's foot ware at home?

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I'd have said; No chance, they are way to hard to lace up. Besides that is not my style.

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

Last year our VP was walking with a group of us and this girl walks by with a pair of black and white zebra pattern heels on and he says to me "I better not catch you wearing anything like those to work".... I responded that I had nothing to wear with shoes like that and mine were much more sedated... So he knows I wear high heels and doesn't want me coming to work enfemme?

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Again i'd have said; Zebra pattern is so out of style these days, i just must wear something in lepord or osclet. Said with an eggrated flick of the wrist.

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

None of the comments are mean or hurtful... Just like mater-of-fact comments.... From "your such a girl" to "the ladies dressing room is over there", I can go on and on..... So is it just me that gets these comments or am I imagining this? Who else get comments that make you think everyone knows and what are they?

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To me the key is to take the comment as a joke and toss it back in a way which shows 1. I haven't a clue what you are saying but if you keep it up you'll get to my anger department, or 2. I know what you are insinuating but don't care, or 3. That is so funny now it's my turn to see who turns red first. And keep it up just long enough to register shock on their faces.

It wouldn't be long before such comments will stop, mostly because they will come to realize you have stuck them with the red face far more than they have stuck you.

SarahLynn