Hi, I'm new and need help understanding my cd husband. I have never told a sole and would love the chance to talk to someone about their cd partner to help me underdstand a little better. Thanks monni :confused:
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Hi, I'm new and need help understanding my cd husband. I have never told a sole and would love the chance to talk to someone about their cd partner to help me underdstand a little better. Thanks monni :confused:
Hi monni and welcome,
Let me say that it's not the end of the world. If you'd like to pm my wife, KrazyKat, with any questions or concerns and she'll be happy to talk with you.
GypsyKaren
Hi Monni,
You have made a good step to find a support group. Talking to other wives/SO's about this will help you get a better understanding and hopefully help you accept your husbands CDing. Take it slow and try not to let it overwelm you.
I have been married to my husband for 31 years and we have a wonderful relationship, it can work. Your welcome to PM me if you have questions or want to chat.
Honey
Monni, Hi and welcome to our forum. You are in the right place to find what you need. And your husband is very lucky that you are trying to learn and understand. Good luck and I hope you enjoy it here.
Kisses, April
Hello,
Welcome to our family.The girls have given you good advice,talk to theGGs and SOs they will know whatyour going through best.
You've come to the right place Monni. Welcome aboard.
Monni, I may not have the answers you are looking for, but I would be happy to give you at least my side of the equasion. For me, it started early on as when I was born, I was a replacement child and was supposed to be a girl. You get a little bit older and the "dirty" aspects of bras and such was a facination. The maturity level of time kicks in and you start to learn what makes girls attractive. The more you learn, the more you look, the more you respect, and for some, the more you want to be like that. The reasons are not all universal or applicable, and there are many. For me it is in deep admiration for the shape, the style, the ability to wear what looks good and (more importantly) feels right. It is a part of my personality, one that not many understand or appreciate. It is like an internal drive or desire that often times we don't even understand or feel capable of explaining to others. Yet this needs to be tempered to some degree if you are in a relationship with a person that you love that doesn't share the same enthusiasm for a "him in a skirt." I absolutely love my wife and would never hurt her on purpose, yet I would give almost anything to wear a skirt and boots to the grocery store or Wal-Mart. We must be considerate of others, and often times this means leaving things "in the closet." We love you because of what and who you are. We simply admire you. So much so that we wish we could be more like you. Sit down and ask questions. Communicate. There is no true right or wrong, unless it makes you physically sick. You might get some questions answered, he'll feel better, and you both will feel relieved being on the same page - together.
Just one opinion, I hope this helps a bit.
Val.
:)
Hi Monni, and :welcom:
I am also the wife of a crossdresser. I am so glad you found this place! We have quite a few wives and girlfriends who are members here and we all know what it is like to want someone to talk to.
One thing you will learn, if you haven't already, is that crossdressers are all different. When I was new to all this I assumed every crossdresser felt the same way and enjoyed the same things. Girl, was I ever wrong. The only real way to understand your husband is to talk to him. But, even so, you can gain a lot of insight by listening to others share their thoughts and experiences, which is what we do here.
Spend some time looking around the site, and feel free to join the forum discussions. After you get your feet wet, you can apply for access to the Girl Talk forum which is a private discussion area for GGs only. Here's a link for you: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ouncementid=14
And if you'd like to "meet" some of the other women here and read about how and why we joined the forum, here's a link to a recent thread about that: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ad.php?t=14471
Hope to see you around!
Welcome to our club with no walls. :)
The best places to find support for yourself are at this site as well as
http://www.webdotgal.com/main/html/sohome.html
At the latter, the particular focus is on dealing with the issues their CDing partner raises for SOs. The partners post what it is like for them about CDing. There are opportunities, too, to contact other SOs in similar difficulty.
This site has been useful for both my GF and me.
Rainbow
Hey there,
I'm from the other side of the fence, being a ftm TG... I did date a transsexual for awhile, which was a huge stretch. I'm extremely accepting of everyone but I did find it extremely difficult to wrap my mind around being with a TS. The big thing is that I am completely hetero (I like boys) and my ex was so feminine it was hard for me to deal with (that's not why we broke up-- there were a ton of other reasons). It really isn't the end of the world, though, and big kudos for you trying to understand him. It seems to me that acceptance is not a problem for you-- and it is much harder to understand than it is to accept.
CDing can be many things-- a fetish, an urge, wanting to be female or feminine... Or it can be just that one enjoys the look or feel of the clothing. I invite you to read my paper, Exploring Transgenderism, on this forum. It may give valuable insight to the why's and how's of transgenderism and crossdressing.
Do feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk.
--Eddie
Welcome aboard.. you are definately in the right place. I am somewhat new to this myself. I have been with my CDing SO for a few months.. we are now engaged. He told me up front about his dressing... and I am completely involved and supportive of it. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.. or just need to talk.
Hope to hear from you soon,
Hugs...
As others have said, you're come to the right place, so feel free to ask questions. I'm sure you've got lots. You may also find some useful information here:
http://www.geocities.com/FashionAvenue/1258/
As Valerie said, everyone has their own motivations for cross-dressing, which are many and varied, so I wouldn't want to guess about your husband's without knowing more.
One key thing to understand is that those reasons don't have anything to do with you (i.e. you're "not woman enough" for him, etc.). If he's like most of us, he's probably been doing it since childhood. The best guess is that it's probably a combination of biological and psychological triggers.
Anyway, hope to hear from you soon.
Hi welcome to forums hope they help you as much as the forums helped me, Love Emily
Welcome to the forum Monni. There are wonderful prople here with a world of knowledge available to you. Seek them out and hopefully it will help. Your SO is so lucky to have you, and your willingness to learn more is exceptional!! :)
Since Feb, 2005, I've been in on my SO's secret, kept hidden for 45 years or so, and 11 years from me. Gypsy tried to push me away many times, but I just kept hanging on and saying, Oh, no, you can't get rid of a soul mate that easy!
Many emotions have come and gone in the last 8 months, I think we were on the fast track of emotions. Things have settled down now and I can get on with everyday life, chores, errands, upkeep, etc.
Gypsy is everyday into this computer, but coping is more difficult with all the things that's happened in my beautiful Babe's life.
I'm glad I stuck it out, I just kept saying to myself, none of the other relationships ever worked out either, and I had less communication with them, so I feel this one is the real deal! PM me if you'd like to talk more!
Kat
Hi, monni, and contratulations for going about this in a loving, positive way. Not so much about your husband, but here's a link that helped me a lot:Quote:
Originally Posted by monniGG
http://www.altsex.org/transgender/
This just explains the language and the technical side of it. It did a lot to help me realize that I am a transgender person and not just some sort of degenerate.
Good luck, and keep us posted! :)
Love
Rachel xxx
Hi monni
I suggest checking out an organisation called the beaumont society. they have a seperate group called women of the beaumont society giving support and advice to people like yourself.
They are U.K. based but in these days of the internet I don't think that would be a problem. the URL is http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/
As many have already said you have come to the right place here and I'm sure you'll get all the help you need. I know you will find all the information daunting to begin with but please be patient.
Hugs
Sue_donim :)
I am not married and have no SO but i do have lots of time. Maybe I can help you to understand xdressing from the inside. Please feel free to ask me anything. If you like, please feel free to send me a private message anytime.
HI Monni,
are you a memeber of the gg forum yet....if not please join, it is purely for partners of cd'ers and there is a huge ammount of support there for you. I have been on this site for only a month or so, and ive come such a long way in understnading my partner. I am in the same situation but not married...yet !
Please join us in the gg forum......the support is there for you....
cheery
xx
Monni, I've been dressing for 30 something years and I do not understand why just that it is a part of me and I like it. My ex knew and she didn't tell anyone and even helped my dress on occasion. Dressing never came up when we were divorcing and she was told about my dressing after 2 weeks of getting married and we did have a good 18 years together. If you love him then it will be like having a girl friend to boot. ;) :thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by monniGG
Hi Monni,
We must accept what we can't change! It may take time, but you can both work out the details. Look for a Win - Win solution so you both get what you want!
Donna
Thankyou all so much for your advice. I have been feeling alone for a long time not having anyone to talk to about our relationship. Thankgod my husband finally introduced me to this site. I look forward to chatting with you all along the way. Thanks again.
Monni
Your SO is fortunate that you are so willing to learn and seek support. As you can see, most everyone here is so wonderfully supportive and encouraging - it actually restores my faith in human beings!
My ex introduced me to his female persona early in our relationship and while it wasn't something I was expecting, I embraced it. I was also not prepared for the effect it had on me - I loved it! So much so, that that is what I am now looking for in a partner.
I think you two are definitely on the right track. You are educating yourself, surrounding yourself with people who understand and can lend you a shoulder when you need one, and perhaps most importantly, talking about it and finding your way together. It is not a solo journey.
All the best for your future.
penny
Hi Monni,
I realize that your request was to talk to other GGs about your husband's CDing, but I thought I would offer the information on my web site to you as a possible source for finding the answers to some of the questions I'm sure you have. It's a clean site with a lot of information for the wives of CDs as well as the CDs themselves. Please do let me know if you find it to be beneficial.
Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd
Hi Monni,
I am married to a crossdresser whom I love very much. I have found forums such as this one to be extremely valuable in helping me to accept him and to understand his need to express his feminine side. I would be happy to help you in any way that I can. I look forward to hearing from you, and you can pm me if you would like to.
Warmest regards,
Missy Anne's GG
Hello Monni!!!
I am also a person who has found a HUGE amount of support for my life here on this site, and am grateful to have another GG on board! both in the male to female, the lounge and the GG site.
to feel alone is normal, and I still do sometimes; but not ever as much as previous to finding this site. Ashlyn (my Cding SO) introduced me to this site after we met on a local Cd site; and I never looked back!
just get in there and be nosy and pointed and you will get some very useful & helpful info. back.
It takes time, and do tell us about yourself and your partner; as you feel comfy.
Hi, Monica.
We, as crossdressers ourselves, are probably not the most objective persons you could ask of this, but at least we don't have the prejudice that most other men are likely to have concerning this. I always hid this from my wife, and when she found out, she had a hard time with it. But she did say that she understood why I would opt to hide this from her. I am grateful for that.
It is important for you to understand that despite the fact that your husband crossdresses, he still most likely loves you very much. He likely desperately desires that you do not think less of him as a man because of this. I love being dressed as a woman. Heck, I'm dressed up right now. But I still want to be the best man to my wife that I can be. Monica, love is the hardest thing in this world to find. If you can be at all sure that you have found it in your crossdressing husband, then hang on to it. Reassure him. Tell him that you love him. He's probably terrified that you will dump him and tell everyone he knows that he's a sissy.
But the fact that he has more Yin to go along with his Yang should also allow him to have a greater understanding of who you are and what your needs are. I know that hearing these things from my wife has meant a lot to me. I may crossdress, but I am no less of a man because of it. And I'm more of a woman as well. I don't think that makes me less of a person. On the contrary, it likely makes me a better one.
I wish you well.
Marla
Monni
I have an understanding GG. She just treats it as something I have to do. Best way.
Love, kisses and best wishes
Davinia
If you ever want to chat just let me know over the e-mail. I carry the cell phone all the time. I'm a 54 yr old Male to Female CD. I can tell you this feeling does not go away ever. It is not a sickness or something that needs cured. You yourself crossdress every day and our culture is fine with that.
But If I want to wear a skirt it better be during a Scottish festival. Any way not to get real long. I'm glad you came here to ask questions insted of stomping your foot and walking out on your SO.
Best wishes and prayers to you and yours!
Haley:)
Quote:
Originally Posted by monniGG
[SIZE="3"]Hiya Monni
Monni, Hi and welcome to our forum. You are in the right place to find what you need. And your husband is very lucky that you are trying to learn and understand. I was in similiar situation to your husband a few years back but things are sorted now due to us both sitting down and talking about the situation together calmly my wife search the internet and found some good sites that gave her some help to come to terms with the situation but you have made a good start here because there are many partners of the TG community who are members and may be able to give you some good advice. [/SIZE]