I have been wondering about therapy.
How many of us have used the services of a psychologist or psychiatrist to discuss your CDing ot other reason? Do CDers have a higher rate of using these services than the general population?
I have been wondering about therapy.
How many of us have used the services of a psychologist or psychiatrist to discuss your CDing ot other reason? Do CDers have a higher rate of using these services than the general population?
Hi Virginia, Once for a couple sessions for my wife and myself but it didn't change anything.
Orchid
My therapist told me that she rarely works with CDers. I'm TS as are most of her clients. Ironically enough a CDer, one of her clients, referred me to her. Lol.
My wife went to a therapist who was also licensed to prescribe medications. I know the subject of me as a CDer came up but I have never discussed it with more than my wife, father and a few close friends.
I went to a psychologist for few months. She wasn't a specialist for transgender issues. It made me feel better. If I go to a therapist against I would only go to someone who specializes in transgender stuff.
Yep I must say I visited a psychologist did several sesions he then refered me to a gender theropist, this did help me alot.
I'm strongly opposed to the current psychotherapy system. Most of the "psychologists" practice pseudosciences like psychoanalysis (Freudian) or humanistic psychology, which are completely unfounded in science and are more like witchcraft. Plus many people think they need to see a therapist when they don't even have an actual disorder; an unpleasant feeling or emotion is NOT a disorder, you're supposed to feel those.
I have never heard of crossdressers using the psychologist or psychiatrist to discuss crossdressing itself,Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia B
but I have heard of some transgendered people who identify as crossdressers exploring the possibility they
might be transsexual because they feel as through they are suffering with a gender identity disorder.
Thank you April, that supports my point as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aprilrain
For a 19 year old you certainly have a very strong opinion about this, so I just wonder, howQuote:
Originally Posted by VioletJourney
much you have actually had to do with psychologists to understand exactly how they work?
I first started seeing psychologists back in the 1990s and since then I have seen quite a few.
Some have been helpful, but there are some others that are just a complete waste of time.
But here is what I found out. Back in the 1990s one guy I seen was aged in his mid-late 40s
and at the time, I thought OK, he has some life experience as well, maybe I will benefit from
him. And while I did gain some new strategies & coping skills through him, I only evolved so
far towards finding myself because he overlooked some vital clues I gave him that would have
let him understand me better - and that is related to my gender issues.
Now the psychologist I see today specialises in transgender issues & I see her through my local gender
clinic. & she is absolutely great - totally switched on with everything that affects someone like me.
What I realise now is that when I was seeing this guy back in the 1990s his training was outdated
and he had no experience at all in dealing with transgender issues, so this is why I think he might
have overlooked the clues I dropped to him. I can't be angry at him & blame him for what happened
because also part of it was my own fault because I was too scared to come straight out about it.
If I felt like I had to blame anything that could have changed how things turned out, then that
lack of information out in society at that time was more likely the real cause of the problem. It
was still pretty much an unspoken taboo, which is why I couldn't come out about my issues.
Because I am under treatment as a intersexed person who is also transitioning, I too have to
see psychologist as part of my treatment - without it, I would ever get authorised for GRS/SRS.
But when I go to see my psychologist, it is not like I am suffering in having to do that. I have
found that my latest psychologist who I have had for a year now is absolutely fantastic and a
great help & a valuable pillar of support, if & when I need it. But I guess if you are not in my type
of situation then I guess you will never realise the value of having a good pyschologist.
Pyschology along with many other areas of medicine are constantly evolving, but it is not the Freudian
type system you imagine it still is today. New scientific discoveries are also playing a huge part in how
people are being treated, especially towards those of us who are intersex, transsexual or even CDers.
And the reason I know this I have a a couple of friends who are psychologist & one just finished her studies
last year, I have another girlfriend also currently at uni studying psychology, but I also have another friend
who is also a fully qualified psychiatrist & we have talked a lot about the changes in psychology & mental health.
There might be still some ways to go in psychiatry & psychology, but it is not as bad as you try & make it sound
and I guarantee that there are many other transsexuals on this site that would agree with me that their therapists
are also invaluable to them.
I have seen two different therapist first one not recommended
After 6 months
Second has been very helpful in just getting me to open
To myself and realize it is ok .
You need to research the person your going to see make
Sure they have some experience with crossdressing / transgender
Issues
You don't go to the dentist for a rectal exam
Same applies here my first therapist was nothing more
than a psychiatrist with no background in gender issues
and a male my current is a female and much easier to talk
With she had experience with gender issues in the first place
and has been a huge help
I have on and off for years and I find it helpful in keeping things in balance. I'm closeted with family/friends and I wish to keep a balance not the therapists idea. I wasted many of those years teaching my experts. You need to be forward and question thier training and experience. I now go to a GLBT group of therapists and it is worth it. If they balk at you coming there dressed I think they may not know what they are doing. You don't even need to do that, just ask and watch thier reaction, just a possible way to get a read on thier comfort level. ymmv
My guess is that GLBT people probably use therapists more than the average person. The suicide rate is higher than the general population, so it is clear that we are more likely to have depression issues. Obviously, results vary drastically because human psychology is very complex. Successful counseling requires a lot of experience, and a good match between the counselor and client. Finding a good match can be as difficult as dating. Don''t try to stick it out with your first therapist.
My guess is that group therapy works better than a counselor because you can discuss issues with people that deal with the very same issues. You get some of that by using this web site.
hiya VB,
Your satisfaction will depend a lot upon how realistic your expectations are about what they can help you with and how long it will take.
Mental health professionals are not automotive mechanics. It is a process that takes time. It is easy to become disappointed if you expect to see significant progress in just a few visits. You have to find the right type of professional, then one you trust, then allow sufficient time for the necessary "background" information exchange before you will feel like you are starting to "accomplish anything".
They do not "fix you". They help you sort out your issues and hopefully assist you in identifying the areas that are causing the conflict in your life. Then the goal is to help you discover and develop your own techniques of resolving or managing your personal issues in a manner which improves the quality of your life.
As usual, your results depend a great deal upon the effort you devote to it. Even in the best possible scenario, there is no guarantee you will resolve all, or any of the discord in your life.
My parents sent me to a psychiatrist twice a week when I was in 8th grade, because I was "getting in trouble". The result was the psychiatrist confidentially told me I needed to stop allowing my father to verbally "beat me down". After three months of head shrinking, my parents shipped me off to military school. Not exactly a productive outcome, lol.
I talked my cheating ex into marriage counseling prior to divorcing her, to try to save the marriage. After 18 sessions @ $80/hr, my ex still had no interest in doing the "homework" or paying attention. I told the therapist I was wasting my money. She agreed and we stopped going. I was not surprised at my ex's behavior. But it provided me with the ability to look back after I divorced her with the knowledge that I had done everything in my power to find a way to save the marriage, prior to filing for divorce.
So it actually did "help" me. :)
I think it is important to understand the various types of mental health professionals prior to selecting one. Professional training varies as well as expertise in specific areas. I posted the typical "titles" and training required for each in a post some time ago on this forum.
good luck,:hugs:
:love:
While it is true that psychology as it exists now is definitely not a science, the principles it is founded upon are still helpful. Psychoanalysis for example isn't anything exact, but it operates on the principle that people feel relief from stress when they talk about their hidden issues. But I do agree that many things are labeled/viewed as disorders that are needed to be corrected, which isn't cool.Quote:
Originally Posted by VioletJourney
On topic: I see a therapist, but then I am TS so it is kind of required to make any progress. Actually, my parents took me to one a few years ago because they found girl-things in my closet. This guy was terrible and he wanted to "fix" me. So I got really mad and never went back again. Then last year I realized that I must transition, so I sought out a therapist that specialized in gender issues. She is freaking awesome.
Yes I have used psychiatrist/psychologist. We probably do use the services more than the general public. I have found most of them worthless for CD/TG/TS issues. They are either not trained, or don't care. My wife went to one and when she brought up my CDing to her therapist, she was told to leave me right now. That was 12 years ago and my wife is still with me and though not crazy about my CDing, she has learned to accept it.
If you do go, go to someone that is trained in transgender issues, otherwise, the "am I a CD or a TS" question will not be answered.
Love, Tracy
My contact three decades ago was limited to talking to one over the telephone. My wife thought I had issues that involved abnormal behavior. I found it difficult to even talk to the therapist over the telephone. I think, if I had gone to a therapist, the sole purpose would have been to 'correct' my abnormal behavior" figure out why I'm a cross-dresser. It took me decades to accept myself through self evaluation of who I am. I made a ledger of who I am and what I have accomplished. The only societal defect as perceived by others is my cross-dressing. The balance sheet is weighted heavily on acceptable behavior as a husband and a man.
Oh, and I do see a therapist/counselor for some acceptable male behavior-like being an infantryman in the Nam and earning a Purple Heart with Oak Leaf cluster. Those sessions are far more interesting than any session I would have concerning cross-dressing behavior.
[SIZE="2"]I haven’t, for the following reasons:Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia B
1) Employing the “services” of a psychologist or psychiatrist would indicate that I feel crossdressing is some kind of "problem" that requires correction, treatment, or a final solution. I do not in any way, shape, or form think that I have an affliction of some sort, nor do I see CD’ing as an addiction that begs for intervention. For others, help may be warranted, but for me it’s not at a level where I’m a danger to myself or those closest to me – in many ways my surroundings dictate how my crossdressing “fits” into the scheme of things, but my nature also has a lot to do with it. Since when is relaxation, the pursuit of happiness, or soothing one’s soul a sickness that requires the attention of a professional? I’ll pass, thanks…
:hmph:
2) I can’t afford it. If I had that kind of money, I’d get my teeth fixed… :heehee:
3) How can you trust a stranger to “straighten” you out? I mean, you don’t know the person, and they certainly don’t know you, so how can you put yourself in a situation where everyone concerned is groping around in the dark for answers? Better to stay “bent,” I say, and get in touch with yourself by skipping the middleman (I mean person)…
4) Don't take this too seriously - I could be wrong...:doh: [/SIZE]
I see no reason to see a therapist since my crossdressing isn't a problem to me. It is simply a natural extension of who I am. As CatAttack mentioned, however, anyone who is transitioning is required to be in counseling, and that makes sense to me. If you do seek counseling, make sure it is someone with the specific training needed. Remember that the general feeling in the psychiatric community is that crossdressing is a curable condition. I've only met one person who was in transition who was "cured" and that person is one of the most confused people I know.
I would recommend one of the fairs like Southern Comfort or Fantasia instead. There are seminars on the hows and whys as well as a large number of like minded people to share with. I also found this forum very helpful in getting my head on straight.
Dee :fairy1:
When I started to dress some 3 years and a half ago CD seemed to me a solution, not a problem.
I've never felt myself so calm and centered before in my whole life.
Last year I had a huge change in my work assignment after what it happened that I had not much occasions to spend time out en femme.
Those new arrangements brought me a lot of discomfort and sadness for not being able to dress as much as I wish. These new challenges forced me to seriously consider to come out to my wife, what in fact I didn't do yet.
Then I decided to see a therapist to help me with all these questions.
I've been on therapy for 4 months now and am much calmer than when I started. She is very skilled at working with TG/TS as well as with the whole LGBT spectrum.
Fact is in the course of therapy I also came across with new and so far unknown aspects of my sexuality. A kind of bonus.
I don't know how long it will last but I'm far from regret it.
Love y'all girls.
Thanks all for your replies. I appreciate the TG folks giving their opinion but am really looking for CD's responses.
I too do not want to change who I am but I have considered therapy to better understand the reasons that I do CD so that I can better explain it to my SO. My SO accepts my CDing but is still confused as to why I do it. Other than explaining to her that it gives me joy, I honestly do not know why I do it. Is it from a particular part of my upbringing or is it jus part of my hardwiring. So I am looking for other CDs who may have worked in therapy to better understand why they are who the are.
Have you considered the idea that it's just something you happen to enjoy? I mean, nobody wonders why they enjoy rock music, they just accept that they do. Perhaps for many of us that's exactly what crossdressing is - something that we just happen to enjoy. Not much of a reason to read too much into it IMO.Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia B
My therapist is phenomenal and anyone wishing to speak to her about CD would be amazed. During my last visit, we were talking about quinceanera dresses because she is of Hispanic origin. I never went to her specifically for CD, but I revealed it to her after about 10 sessions. I felt comfortable with her at that point and I wanted to talk about it because I struggle with it. I made a great decision.
I will say this: Not all therapist are created equal. Some will be terrible, some will simply ignore it, and others will embrace it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiffanyfisher
I totally agree with this. If you are going to see a counselor, for any Transgender issues (I use transgender as the umbrella term that covers CD's, TS's and many others) it is important that your comfortable with them. Some counselors will be good for some people and not others. A few years ago, I was seeing a counselor through the university's counseling center. She was great, she made me feel comfortable to talk about anything. I could relate to her, and she was genuinely interested in my problems that I was having. I came out to her about my gender issues, and while she had no experience with anyone that's transgender, she thoroughly did her homework and found out a lot of information for me. She also looked for local support groups where I could meet other people and talk to them as well. I even went to see her dressed, which helped a lot!
Since it was in a university setting, it was totally free and as a result of that they had many clients they needed to see. I went back to the center a year later because I went back into depression mode, and I started to see another counselor. She was really nice as well, but didn't really click. So it really depends on the dynamics between you and the person you are seeing.
I don't see why a crossdresser should feel as if they couldn't go see a counselor if they think it would help. People go to counselors for all sorts of reasons, marriage, depression, worries, grief. If you're struggling with accepting your crossdressing and need someone to talk to, why not go see a counselor. I'd make a recommendation of seeing someone who is knowledgeable of LGBTQ issues, or even general gender issues. Yes some people here that crossdress might not need to, or want to see a counselor, but for other people it can be helpful. I would say if you can and you want to, then by all means go ahead.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melody Moore
Psychology is a science, a social science though and not a hard science. Sociology, Economics, and Communication Studies are all very similar in that they are all considered a social science. They do research, make hypothesis, test those hypothesis, study statistics, generate statistics. They are able to determine generalizations, and trends. However in Psychology it is possible to work your way to Psychiatry which is more of a hard science. Psychiatrists are able to prescribe medicine, and they need to know chemicals and how the brain and neuroscience works among other things.Quote:
Originally Posted by CatAttack
I think something that everyone should remember is that a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, counselors, or good friend are not there to give you an answer. Am I a CD/TS? Yes or No. They are there to help you find the answers within yourself. Someone well trained and experienced in gender issues can be an invaluable asset to you as you work your way through the guilt, depression, and confusion we often find in ourselves.
Of course if you are struggling to accept that you are transgendered (crossdressers included here) &Quote:
Originally Posted by Maddie22
it was causing you stress then you might see a pyschologist about it, but the actual cross-dressing is
only one component of being a transgendered. What I mean is a TG/TS person even a crossdresser
usually goes to see a psychologist because they have a gender identity or expression (GID) issue they
might be trying to understand & come to terms with. For a transsexual GID is always far more severe
than it is for a cross-dresser, but generally there are a lot of similarities about what actually motivates
us as TG folk to seek help.
No male to female TG/TS ever goes to a psychologist to really talk about how good it feels to dress up
as girls & paint our toe nails if that is all the problem is, we go there because as Jorga because of the
guilt, fears of rejection, depression, confusion we often find in ourselves having to deal with. The only
thing that is really any different are the treatments because that changes depending on the severity.
i have no idea why the OP would not want to hear from the transsexuals on this subject,
because there are on this forum that once identified as cross-dressers & went to get help
purely to deal with the issues I just mentioned here only to find out that they were really
transsexual. Not all transsexuals have GRS/SRS, some are happy to make a partial transition
and live non-op. But the main point I am making to this is, a psychologist can help us to find
the right answers to help solve our own problems.
And finally I agree, Psychology is a science, and it is much more than just a social science nowadays.
My girlfriend at uni was telling me about her lectures on chromosomes the other day & she told me she
was particularly fascinated in it because she seen the relevance in it to me being intersex. A lot of new
scientific evidence is being discovered that supports a belief that there is a biological component that
plays a role in defining our gender identities and sexual orientations. This is new evidence that is now
challenging those out-dated Freudian beliefs. Psychology is very much a science and as I said earlier
it is evolving to a point where it is digging deeper into what defines certain behaviours. The funny thing
is now is that being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered is not a choice, it is who we are & there is
no reason to feel ashamed about that. See: http://shb-info.org/sexbrain.html
Western Christian ideology which has always been corrupted & resistant to science, also played a huge
part in laying the foundations of psychology especially with the transgendered community. Now science
is finally challenging these outdated beliefs & people are now starting to get some help for the first time.
Within myself I don't feel that I need anymore help from my psychologist, but I know I must go for a bit
longer to be approved for my GRS/SRS. but nowadays it is more about me teaching them about me & my
condition which I don't mind because I know by being there, they can learn so much about someone like
me. So not only are these people supporting me, I am doing my bit by simply being there to contribute to
transgender/intersex science. And when I hink about that it give my life that little more meaning.
I didn't go to a psychologist for CDing per se, but rather to deal with severe depression after a painful divorce. But, as you might expect, it wasn't long before my lifelong cross dressing became part of the conversation. It was, for me, a very productive experience. First, I had to find the courage or learn to trust my psychologist enough to come out and admit my deepest, darkest secret. Although its been years since, the thing I remember most vividly was the ease with which my psychologist handled the revelation. It took her a while, but she eventually got me to understand that it was perfectly all right, normal behavior, not unique, not evil, not criminal, etc. Despite my trepidations, I learned I could talk about this without shame, and learned to enjoy discussing what it meant to me, personally. Once I was at ease with admitting this about myself, it seemed much easier to deal with what were actually those aspects of my behavior that had actually caused difficulties in my life.
Kim:
Great story on how therapy (when needed) can help us to live a happier and better life.