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I have a feeling that people underdress because they are closeted. Because they are unable to give an outlet for their CD side. This is my assumption based on experiences of myself, pre-op TS on hormones and some other cd'ers i know who go out.
Correct me if i am wrong.
EDIT: Use your own defn of closet. I am just interested to know about underdressing and its relation to being in closet.
Here i mean, in the closet = not dressing in public.
For some, underdressing is all they need or desire, so no, not all underdressers are closeted.
I think the "closet" is a state of mind while underdressing is a state of dress. I think you can be out, defined as people know you dress, and underdress because you are in drab for whatever reason. If you underdress and nobody knows and you want to keep it that way, then you are in the closet. If you underdress, nobody knows, but you do not care if they do or not then you are not in the closet. That is my 2 cents anyway!
Danni
Okay, each has their own defn of closet. So, I edited my original question.
I agree with Danni. Being in the closet means not wanting people to know, whether a CD underdresses or goes out full-femme.
And then there are degrees of being closeted. Some CDs are OK with being out among strangers but they still don't want family, friends, and coworkers to know. Or, they're OK with select groups of people knowing, but not others. So I guess you could say they are partially closeted. :p
So ... if an individual just likes to underdress and not do more, and he doesn't hide it when he's in a locker room changing, then he's not closeted.
If he hides the fact that he's undersdressing, then he's closeted. And if he only underdresses in public because he prefers to keep the full-on dressing for the privacy of his home, then he's closeted as well.
Can't deny that I live the closet. Perhaps my priorities are wrong(to some) but providing a good income for my family comes first. Once I retire maybe I'll view it differently but doubtful. Some people have more to lose than a Mcjob. There's nothing wrong with the closet for most of us. It does me good to get a ton of feedback from the fully blown wide open girls who share all their experiences. I believe it helps to add confidence to those who are getting ready to open the door. I'd be cool with being dressed and sittin' down to play some poker or watch a ball game with girls from Houston but I still am not gonna shave off the 'stache.
@DannyKay, Perhaps you have misunderstood my question. My question has nothing to do with rights/wrongs to being in the closet.
I went out the other day under dressed. I wore knee highs which cold be seen if one looked at the space between my shoe tops and pants leg. Also, I had on a scooped blouse, but it was covered up by a zippered jacket. I still felt very lovely. I think I'll do it again. No makeup or wig or jewlery.
I'd say most everyone here is in a closet... Of some sort. Some are small and lonely while some are big and include outside parts and other people.
I think being in the closet means that other people in general do not know that you crossdress. My children and grandchildren know that I crossdress, but no one else does! Therefore, in a technical sense I am in the closet! But I have, and still do, go out in public dressed completely as Stephanie. Granted, I now go out as a man dressed enfemme, but I am still crossdressed. Other people certainly do see me, but they don't know me!! So as I said, I am technically in the closet!!
I would say I am in the closet and I underdress because I am in the closet. There are a few who know of my dressing and have seen me and I have started taking tentative steps out of my closet but until I am fully ready, I underdress. It makes me feel good an serves as a reminder of my future goals.
Danni
I'm so far in the closet I don't even underdress! lol
Hi Sara, It's like taking a cookie when mom isn't looking you've gotten away with it.
Same with underdressing you are getting away with something.
You are dressing but still in the closet.
Orchid
Sara, you make an unwarranted assumption that people who underdress "are unable to give an outlet to their CD side." Maybe underdressing is all the outlet some people need. There are all sorts of dressing up. In addition to panties, one may wear an androgynous top, women's slacks or jeans, makeup, perfume, and carry a purse—and find fulfillment while not presenting wholly as a women. One can be a CD without a blond wig and beast forms.
Mine is kinda like shoebox sizeQuote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
not sure if i fit into your box? but i under dress every day and have for years. i even over dress every day (except at work the company i work for has a issued uniform i must have on). but i only ware womens clothing even as a guy little to nobody notices. (or at least not said a thing) just jeans and a top, shoes, etc. and i do go out a couple times a month dressed with a wig, make-up and a cute skirt/dress on.. if i had the time and money i would more than just a coupe times a month.
having a fire sale i have a bunch of mens things i need to lose. for sale cheep some even NEW.
I am closeted and I never under dress.... if I am going to be fem it has to be all the way being partially fem make me angst.
without question i have been cding for around 20 yrs. ihave always kept it a personal secret. but i love to underdress. panties stockings dosent get better
Not necessiarily. I underdress almost every day during the work week. Some of us folks just happen to have professional jobs (notj just McJobs), reputations, community/civic involvement, famlies and future careers that we have to think about. I dress fully when home or when going out, and I choose very carefully those who I have allowewd to see me fully dressed. DanyaKay, I am right there with you. I may do more out dressing once I retire, but that is still a few years away from now.
Reading the OP's question, my first reaction was that I agree that underdressing is just another form of closet dressing. But after reading Danni Renee's and ReineD's posts (#5 & #7) I agree with them.
I have dressed for many years, and due to a career in the military underdressing was an outlet to feel fem and not go all the way unless at home. I often wore panties and camisole under my uniform. Ocasionally maybe panties under PT uniforn, but that can be a bit daring.
We are in the closet when we underdress until our bra straps show through our shirt or when we bend over and show some panty.
OK, so no relation between the two.. Thanks for your replies..
The only time I'm in the closit is to get something to wear! But I would say that if your bra is showing under your work shirt without you knowing it, then you left your closit door partley open!Hugs!
It amazes me that for most closeted under-dressers they literally can take their closet with them.......................if I only could think of how to take, shower, living room, media center, kitchen and bedroom along with me, I wouldn't need an RV!!!!!
In my case, no you are not wrong. Underdressing is my only way to wear girly stuff without being outed. I do not have the luxury to dress fully and be accepted by family, friends, or coworkers in my alter ego. Not all would accept or even understand. And I wouldn't pass anyways. So I would rather maintain that part of my life as private. It has worked so far though it is kind of frustrating NOT to be able to share this with someone who does understand. Though my wife knows about my dressing she doesn't particularly like to see that side of me so I never dress around her.Quote:
I have a feeling that people underdress because they are closeted. Because they are unable to give an outlet for their CD side. Correct me if i am wrong... I am just interested to know about underdressing and its relation to being in closet.
But that feeling of wearing panties, hose, a bra under my regular clothes not only has a sexy, sensual side to it but it also can help center me a bit, helping to focus on a different side of me. The fem side that I think many here are in tune with already.
I am reminded of a scene in the movie Bull Durham when Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon) gives Ebby (Nuke) Laloosh (Tim Robinson) a garter to wear so he keeps his mind centered on pitching. In the dressing room Nuke is trying to figure out how to put the thing on and Crash Davis walks up and says to him "Rose goes in the front, big guy." I guess there is some kind of balance I seek...
There still is that element of excitement that one gets when wearing these undergarments but one of stress knowing that one MAY get caught but the risk is minimal if you dress right.
Unless you are in an accident...
HD
right with you HunkyDory. Your description fits me to a T. One part of me wishes I was out but would have to risk much to make that happen. Still, love that feeling when underdressed like I was today at work part excitement and stress but mostly centering. Do worry about that untimely accident thing though!
Since you can be a closeted CD without underdressing; IMHO underdressing is usually a subset of being in the closet, but being in the closet is not a subset of underdressing. QED
I underdress everyday. Usually panties and a camisole. My crossdressing interests thus far are only centered on underwear. I love panties and wear them every day. I love camisoles and wear them most days and sleep in one every night. I wear bras, slips and pantyhose when I have the opportunity (so I guess I am closeted in this aspect).
I have been C/Ding for almost 60 yrs , going out since i was 17yrs and underdressing fully ( bra ,panties, cami, hold ups) and a silk nighty when i go to bed, and still go out,with friends fully dressed 2/3 times a month, my family dosnt know anything of this but my wife just thinks i underdress,
So what does this make me ???
hugs J-JAY
Am I in the closet? It probably depends on who you ask. I'll underdress, but by gum I don't wear it in such a way that anyone will know but me what I'm wearing or what color my toenails are painted. If I underdressed and wore a tight tee shirt so you could see my bra or pants that would show the lace of my panties then I wouldn't be very well closeted. When I go out fully dressed en femme my CD friends don't think I'm in the closet, but my neighbors and most of my family don't have a clue about what I'm up to. I know CD's who are out to their family and neighbors, but not at work. Closets come in all sizes with doors and windows that open and close as we need.
I have to agree with karren, just about everyone is in a closet of one size or another, if there is anybody you don't want to know, then you are in a closet. If you dress and go out on Friday night, but don't want the people at work to know, you are in the closet. so Under dressing would suggest that yes, they are in the closet, at least of one size or another.
Tina B.
I have one foot in the closet.
I leave before the SO does, so I put on panties and hose before I leave in the morning, underdress all day long, and then change into my drab skivvies on the way home (benefits of storage building on the way home). She knows of my crossdressing past and does not approve, but no one else knows. That is the foot in the closet.
I try to go out fully dressed once a week, complete with wig, makeup, forms, etc. Because of my wife's non-acceptance, I have to do all of this at the storage building. Once I am dressed, I will go to stores on the way to work and other businesses that are TG friendly. WalMart and the local Kroger stores have self checkouts, so those are always good places to start. If I have the time, sometimes I will ride the light rail train for a few stops and then back to the park and ride. Not only does it prove how little people pay attention, but it also gives me an opportunity to observe GGs to improve my presentation. Afterwards, I will stop somewhere secluded, change into my work clothes, and complete my day. That is the foot out in the open--a pantyhosed, high heeled one!
How do I make sure the two don't collide? I leave while it is still dark outside. The storage building is two towns over. I put the makeup on outside of the car so I do not get any inside the car. I go over the car with a fine toothed comb to make sure there are no strands of hair, makeup smudges, removed fake nails, or leftover makeup remover wipes or makeup stained cotton balls anywhere that my SO can find them.
Is there the chance to get caught? Of course. Is the risk worth dressing as I feel I was intended to dress? You bet!
for me, nothing is cuter than panties. i wear them every day. to me, at night, when i'm laying down to go to sleep, my yoga pants go on and i feel great. you would be surprised just how comfortable they are. so yes, i underdress every day, and very rarely overdress, (aside from yoga pants, or sweat pants). i've been wearing women's socks for over a year, they're cuter, and have bright colors. so i love them.
I'm not in my closet - I'm in my drawers!
Lea
For myself most of my crossdressing is under dressing because the kids are always coming and going and if i am lucky i might get 1hr or 2hrs a week to dress. My wife tells me she can see the frustration when a while go's by and i didn't get a chance to dress. So the under dressing is all i have for now and it feels great wearing panties and pantyhose under jeans. Wife enjoys when i under dress and even pushes the limit at times. When we go to a mall she will usually tell me to take of my socks in the car and have the pantyhose peaking out while i am walking. When under dressing is all you have i guess it's better then nothing.
It's all way too confusing, and what difference does it make? Closet/under/over/out/in.....whew! I love to underdress, and find it fulfilling. Perhaps I have a great imagination, but I imagine fully I'm a girl when I underdress, and people respond to that. When Ghandi was told he couldn't address a society in London wearing his cotton wrap, he showed up in a suit, and told them that since it was his suit that had been invited, he thought of sending his suit to give the speech. I don't care that much whether or not people see me as Chrissie--I care that they FEEL me as Chrissie, and that all her wonderful feminine qualities shine through whatever I'm wearing. Perhaps I'm not a CD, because I don't obsess over it?
Oh girl you are a CD, not because of obsession, but because you do it! If not CD, at the least TG, imagining your a women.Quote:
Originally Posted by chrissietoo
Tina B.
Living alone makes it easy for me. After work I have a hot shower, then put on my females clothes. I consider it a way to relax and completely put my day of work behind by becoming Wendy. It's the best cure against stress!
I started a closet thread once and started a fire storm.
It’s great to see this is going along nicely.
Wendy, you and I are soulmates.
SUZY
I suppose that for those who under dress and don't wish for people to know could be considered closeted, but they have one up.. They can still do their thing.. they just use mobile closets ( their outer wear) how cool is that! Talk about stealth!:heehee:
I am also a closeted under-dresser. Why, simple, at my age in early 60's I will never "pass", especially at six foot four inches and 250 pounds and the beard of a lumberjack. I have no interest in being a woman but for some reason unknown to me I have this urge to occasionally wear panties and maybe a bra. My wife of 42 years would never understand as I don't even understand and it would likely damage our relationship. Also I have a good job that would be nearly impossible to replace so there is too much to risk being open. For some reason my underdressing gives me a sense of peace and contentment. When I was a young guy this was mostly sexual, no doubt due to the taboo of the act, now that is not the case. That just makes all of this more confusing but in my current situation I am content and have no desre for more. From being here for a couple of months there is no doubt a wide range of crossdressing activity and interests. This is a very interesting community that given the wide range of interests and experiences seems to be very supportive of each other.
i can't underdress sadly. Bikini panties are to narrow in front leading to chaffing :(
Be selecive in buying panties. Full-cut briefs would probably avoid a narroe front, and the consensus here seems to be that Bali Skimp Skamps nave the widest crotch. Another "solution" is to get one size larger than the "correct" one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Deborah
I underdress fairly frequently, and I guess that makes me closeted in some way, although panties have been the focus of my "CD side" since I was a kid, and I've never had a strong desire to go out in public en femme. Like many others, I have a career that I'd rather not jeopardize by pushing the envelope too much, especially when I'm largely content to enjoy the private pleasure of wearing something feminine underneath. :)
As I travel down the well known road I have gone from a lingeri lover to the fill look . I am in the classy but my wife knows I wear panties/ nylons . I used to find it hard to understand the need for Brest forms and under dressing. But now a few years later I am in the same group. I don't find it easy to get out dressed so I love to underdress and I often think why ! But it's simple first it just so Dan nice to have on panties and nylons under boarding male clothing and secondly I don't feel it but it's a bit of the challenge/ I want to get found out thing. .
The other thing I noticed is I some times have to take off the nylons at work an when I do i suddenly feel like I am a bit naked and not dressed properly . So does that also mean it's become just part of me.
One last thing yes I think us innthe closset do
It as it's a way of dressing up with less complications of the full look in a more practical way without the stress
This seems too much like one of those 'quantifying your CDing' conversations.
Sometimes a cigar is really just a cigar?
I have worn mens underwear maybe 3 times in the past 3 years, but i no longer even think much about the panties as i put them on each day, they are just the underwear i choose to wear. 'Underdressing' as a term is confusing to me.
I also wear some eye make-up in drab everyday but i don't consider it much a part of 'dressing'.