Hands off buddy.

Just an observation, since I just started going out to clubs recently, and this has happened to me 4 or 5 times now, and it is really kind of shocking to me:

I have very nice breast forms. I think they fit well and look really good on me. This club is a LGBT club, and when I meet people and start talking to them, they ask me about my breasts, after, of course, the, are you gay, going to have the operation stuff. Then, all men so far, will ask: are they real? are they fake, can I touch them, and even before I can say no, they have reached for my breasts. The first couple of times it happened, I was so surprised I didn't know what to do. Saturday, I gently slapped his hand away, the female gesture, not a male response, and made a joke about it.
Oh, I just remembered, a few years ago, in NYC, when I dressed the first time going out, for the Halloween parade, afterwards, I was brave enough to go to a gay club in Chelsea, I was wearing a 38B Push up, and the same thing happened. Nice guy, so I thought, bought me a drink, Absolut Martini. And then, are they real, and he reached over and fondled them.
I would never even consider doing something like that, to a male, female, CD or anyone.
Has anyone else had a similar experience? If so, how do you handle it? Or, is this just some kind of wierd coincidence?

This sort of thing legitimately angers me every time I hear about it. Some people have no respect for anyone else these days...

People are courious, it's only natural to be courius of somthing you just encounterd for the first time. I often use it as a teaching experience. However, at a GBLT bar, it's should be a difent story as they ought to know the drill alredy.

next time, if you have time, if they are not stuck on... pull one out and hand it to them :)

I don't know your age but from what my daughter tells me there are many guys in clubs that think it's alright to touch anything they can get away with. There are plenty of clueless, classless people around. Your final response was right on the mark!

Maybe they're mammas didn't teach them any better, or maybe outta disrespect for they're mammas they've decided to do the opposite either way they are acting like the slime that the are

Hi,

Here its sexual harassment. = groping ,in most countys it is concidered unacceptable behaviour , touching , unless concenting adults , is allso a case of you dont have that right & can be taken to court, & you can press chages ,

I dont care who the person is im a woman & no i wont let that go.
Ill defend my self & im not a woman to be pushed around, & we dont have to put up with that. the Police would be involved very quick . let it go & they just carry on doing that to others,

...noeleena...

I don't give a hoot whether it is a gg or cd or whomever....I will never touch what doesn't belong to me!

That happened to me over the weekend but from a GG. After she gently pulled my gap into my top and looked down my breast/chest area. I admit tat I wasn't tickled about it, and I also don't care for the fondling. But the only time I go out dressed is Halloween and so it is treated by others as a joke. I can't get too upset with it and still keep the fact that I am a full fledged crossdresser quiet. Most of my friends have most likely guessed by now (they are not stupid, and I look too convincing/put too much effort into it) but for my wife's sake I still won't come clean about my clothing preferences. The woman who groped me was a bit intoxicated.... And apparently she had a thing for guys in ladies clothing since she wanted to dance with me the rest of the time I was there. Never had a strange guy check out my chest though.

Have I ever mentioned I believe most men are pigs? The only ones that seem to be able to treat people with dignity are transmen.

this type of thing does not happen to a GG, the guy would be charged. However under the circumstances he probably thought it would be alright as he knew they were not real breasts and this was not a GG. Would not happen otherwise

One time when I was in school in England, I wore a kilt to school for a bit of a laugh. While I was standing waiting to fill my cup during morning tea, a female staff member walked up and lifted my kilt to see if I had anything on underneath!

If I was a woman wearing a skirt and a male staff member did that he would most certainly been fired.

SS

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Originally Posted by CINDYO

this type of thing does not happen to a GG, the guy would be charged. However under the circumstances he probably thought it would be alright as he knew they were not real breasts and this was not a GG. Would not happen otherwise

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Oh Bull Twaddle. This sort of thing DOES happen to natal women. Happens all the time. You are talking about GUYS here, right? Guys who think it's alright to touch or feel anything they can get away with.

Listen, dear. This sort of thing just comes with the territory. I thought you WANTED to be a girl. Now you are seeing things from the other side of the fence. Being a woman is not all pretty clothes and compliments. It's also having to put up with men and their male privilage thoughts that they can do whatever they want whenever they want.

S

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Originally Posted by Stephenie S

Now you are seeing things from the other side of the fence. Being a woman is not all pretty clothes and compliments. It's also having to put up with men and their male privilage thoughts that they can do whatever they want whenever they want.

S

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If that's the case, then I believe it's appropriate to handle it like women used to do in my day. He gets a slap across the cheek, and a warning that next time he gets a visit from my father / brother / boyfriend, etc.

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Originally Posted by Stephenie S

Oh Bull Twaddle. This sort of thing DOES happen to natal women. Happens all the time. You are talking about GUYS here, right? Guys who think it's alraight to touch or feel anything they can get away with.

Listen, dear. This sort of thing just comes with the territory. I thought you WANTED to be a girl. Now you are seeing things from the other side of the fence. Being a woman is not all pretty clothes and compliments. It's also having to put up with men and their male privilage thoughts that they can do whatever they want whenever they want.

S

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You're absolutely correct! Things like this happen too gg's all the time. It's also happened to me while out clubbing. I have been groped, fondled, pinched, had my butt grabbed, been pinned up against a wall , and been rubbed up against. These really not much you can do.... If you hit them, there's always the chance that they will hit you back, or get your self arrested. If you call the cops... it's your word against his unless you have a witness. No witness, no case. The bouncers may warn them, but here again.. it's your word against his. Tell the b/f? I guess you could if you wanted to take the chance the he could get arrested for assault or possibly get himself injured. as maddening as it may be just about the only thing you can do it just suck it up and move on. Welcome to womanhood!

Kel

I would never even think of touching someone's breasts, unless they asked me to. I dont care if they are on a gg or cd, it is inappropriate behavior. Maybe they have not been taught to know better...

Maybe it was the era I grew up in (with stranger danger, AIDS, date rape, sexual harassment etc. in the headlines), but they were really drilling in the notion of "keep your hands to yourself" when I was in school, and something they always told us what that you never touch someone you don't know personally anywhere without their permission.

I always thought it was sensible advice, I guess times really have really changed...

No dear. Times have not changed. You are living in a dream world.

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Originally Posted by Michelle.M

If that's the case, then I believe it's appropriate to handle it like women used to do in my day. He gets a slap across the cheek, and a warning that next time he gets a visit from my father / brother / boyfriend, etc.

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This always happens in the movies. Rarely in real life.

S

I've been groped by the curious in alternate clubs where gender women are basically non-existent, and also by drunk guys in dark, straight bars who didn't even suspect I was in drag. It is always offensive to some degree, but I have to admit that some of the come-on lines that are used to excuse it are genuinely humorous. Butt fondling, accompanied by an insincere 'excuse me' as if it was accidental, is also a threat to one's sense of well-being.

As Kelly said welcome to womanhood, wearing womens clothes and presenting a female you are subject to all of the good things (doors opened, served first) and all of the bad things (long lines in the restroom, cold legs, sore feet, cold shoulders, broken nails, groping by male animals (not to be confused with gentlemen) and last but not least runs in you nylons.

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Originally Posted by Paulette

As Kelly said welcome to womanhood, wearing womens clothes and presenting a female you are subject to all of the good things (doors opened, served first) and all of the bad things (long lines in the restroom, cold legs, sore feet, cold shoulders, broken nails, groping by male animals (not to be confused with gentlemen) and last but not least runs in you nylons.

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Yup and even so... I am stickin til the end :heehee:

kel

Hi All, I did have this happen to me also. I was all Dolled up for holloween three years ago. I was using the waterballoon boob thing. When ever my SO and I would get up and dance, all the GG's would come over to us and ask if they could feel them becouse they moved so nice when I danced!
Huggs Lilly

It did happen to me one time several years ago. I was out enfemme with my wife and we went to a club. A man started talking to me, and then started to fondle my breasts. When he came to, he did apologize!! Yes, I did knock him out!! I don't touch other people unless they want me to, and I don't expect to be touched unless I ask for it! BTW, my breasts are natural 40 B's, so there aren't any forms in my bra!!

I met a friend of a transgender person in Louisville, she had really nice breasts. She liked to fondle mine and let me fondle hers. No harm, no foul.

Happened to me at the party the other night...my butt was grabbed and my wife's also...she just just said...you live with it and I kind of had the same attitude since it is a party and people are a bit drunk and acting silly. The breast thing also hppened, a GG asked how I filled the cups and I said foam padding, she said, can I feel? and a said sure, but when she touched them, I said, 'now I get to feel yours?'....didn;t happen, but she got the point she was polite to ask. I could have said no. It is an odd situation, but I figure if it is done in a positive way, then you might as well be nice and let them...apparently woman do ask stuff like that even to GGs...its all part of the we're on the same team attitude.

I got a one inch prelit fuse when it comes to that. The only person who can just randomly place hands on me is my woman. And only because, as long as I use tact and know when its not ok, I get the same sort of rules applied to myself *meaning her, although, lets face it. myself*. XD

I don't leave my house en fem, hardly ever leaves the bedroom. But i refuse to have that sort of buisness go down when im around and people know it. I swing first, explain later. It helps my uncle is a police officer and I get alot of slack for it, but my point is still valid. That is not ok here, not ok there. When people just shrug it off and say, "Let it be. It happens.", They are allowing others to see their actions as acceptable and they will do it again.

Maybe this is Faux Pah here, but I don't get it. Alot of you ladies here, like it or not, are men. Ask yourself, if you saw someone do that to your SO, would you let it go? Or would you roll up the sleeves? on your dress and go put down 50 on the right hook to the man's teeth? Booze and lack of action leave these actions to be seen as acceptable to others. So why would you just let it go because your out in lady form tonite? I know alot of women who are disturbingly stronger than myself, with a shorter fuse. I would love to be there the day some guy decided to grab a handful of backside on one of them. She'd come home with an ear as a trophy, im sure. :)

when I was married, my wife had the audacity to spank or pinch my ass often. When I told her not to do that, she said, "It is MY ass and I can do what i want". Well, alright, we were married, i suppose it is forgivable. :)

But on the serious side - yeah clubs and bars are kind of gross. You get the drunk guys who think they are Casanova and can grope anything that looks female. That and then you also have the other weirdos - the guys who sit like a statue against the wall, the loud drunk college chick who wants to yell and scream, and the middle age trashy looking drunk woman who slurs about wanting to kick peoples' asses.

But yeah when you live as a woman either on weekends or every day, you find out just how men act. Now me, I guess enough people think I "pass" and all, of course the men don't pay me much attention cause i am not 21 years old nor am I a size 4.

Only once. If had people when I tell them I'm a a CD they ask about my breasts and I tell them. Only one person asked to touch them. When I went to my 20 high school reunion an old friend ( a GG ) asked if she could touch them. I said sure if I can touch yours too. She said yes and we had fun touching each other. Lol. Buy I would never allow any one in a bar or anywhere to do that. They would get a slap or worse.....

So should you allow this to happen just because your a man in a dress..... HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A quick punch to the head will cure this situation. They are not expecting it and get what they deserve. Remember, you are a man in a dress. ;)

This kind of behavior legally constitutes assault and you are entitled to defend yourself in any way you see fit (although shooting or stabbing him might get you talked about).
One technique that works quite well is to grab the little finger of the offending hand and bend it backwards. This will force him to his knees or break the finger at which point you may convince him to modify his behavior. This also works well for GGs as it doesn't require much strength. A spike heel to his instep will also work nicely.

I usually pull one of the forms out and say "here, you can play with it if you like. But please wash it off before you give it back." That usually cures them.

I want to add, sure we all know its wrong (to touch someone without their permission), but their is a time and place for everything (how you respond, I mean). At a party, a quick poke or squeeze is not meant to be sexual...its more like a pat on the back for a job well done. If the person has bad intentions, that's a different matter, but any person I ever met was nice about it and its mutual fun. The worst thing to do is overreact, it makes you out to be the bad guy and ruins your fun and everyone else's. If the one doing the deed was rude, unwelcome and was loitering around then by all means have the bouncer drag them away by their ---------.

I suspect most people would not touch you if you said firmly, 'no way' when they first asked.

I have been out with some of my lesbian friends to clubs and to private parties and I find them to be much more touchy feeley! Rubbin' just aint for racin'! Lots of grab ass and rubbin. I think it is amusing! I am always getting ny ass grabbed and my legs rubbed!

To all you macho he-men out there. Your testosterone is showing!

Violence is NEVER the proper response unless your life is being threatened.

"I'd punch his lights out", works well in the movies, when you're talking to your drinking buds, or if the other person is smaller than you. But that's not always the case.

S

[SIZE="4"]I'm thinking that maybe you folks are frequenting the wrong kinds of clubs. I've never been groped or treated disrespecfully. On the contrary, I'm usually the one admiring the girls of the girls. The amazing part is that the ladies love the attention and more often than not encourage me to grope a little, and do likewise! Golly, what an uptight bunch you all hang out with![/SIZE]

I don't do a lot of clubbing but I don't tolerate being touched, period. With or without my panties on it's a great way to get your bell rung, just saying.

Thank you all for your comments and opinions. As always, there is a wide variety of responses, very interesting and intriguing. I thought about the slap to the face, only with a closed fist, but figured it would not be worth the trouble.
Whenever I go out, I have a very strict 2 drink limit that I cannot remember the last time I violated. So, I do not get drunk. I like this club, it is the only place so far where I can go dressed and actually feel comfortable, and not feel ostracized. I even danced a little last time. It is heavily gay, with a lot of very good looking, testoserone oozing, fun loving young men dancing and prancing around. There is also occaionally some teddy bear men??????. All types, including the cruisers, yeech. Lots of women too of all persusasions. They have a lot of drags shows, the performers are very good. Lots of straights go too for the shows. A very eclectic mix. I'm slowing coming out of the corner at the place. That said, the only really bad experience, was the groping, which, in that circumstance, I believed I handle appropriately. But I did not like it. Again, thank you all, a learning experience.

Oh, I should add I am not a bar person. I go to my local pub occasionally to watch the Packers, drab, of course. They have some excellent Wisconsin microbrews on tap, I drink the seasonals usually, again, no more than two. They have an very good, free, make your own, taco bar, available during the Packer game, which is the real reason I go, I think. lol. If someone there, groped a female, hmmm, they would be immediately tossed out, and probably, well definitely, not to gently.

Maybe you should try my sister's response? She checked HIM out, Crocodile Dundee style, hard.

At the halloween party I just attended as a cheerleader, all the GG's came up and felt my breasts. I just had fun with it and stuck them out. I think they just wanted to know what I stuffed them with.. Thing is, I didn't try to pretend to be anything else but a man in woman's clothing so they were probably more comfortable doing it.

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Originally Posted by donnalee

This kind of behavior legally constitutes assault and you are entitled to defend yourself in any way you see fit.

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Not true in many states. An appropriate response is allowed. In many clubs you would both be escorted out and possible arrested if you fight. The bouncers in my clubs look out for us and will do their job with creeps like this.

That has not happen to me and I would not know how to deal with it myself! I guess people have a touchy feeling like they do with pregnant women. However if they where real or not in the eyes of the law that is considered a sexual assault especially with out permission; however that is not the intention so again I am also lost. Now I will say I would be flattered.

Stephanie S.

Oh bulltwattle.,Say WHAT ?

Do you realize Cindyo IS a GG ?
So your response was way OFL.

Presh GG

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Originally Posted by Sally24

Not true in many states. An appropriate response is allowed. In many clubs you would both be escorted out and possible arrested if you fight. The bouncers in my clubs look out for us and will do their job with creeps like this.

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You must be in Massachusets

Maybe they weren't breast fed as a baby, so they feel deprived

I cannot imagine my reaction if this were to happen to me.
I absolutely hate anybody touching me at anytime and especially strangers and this is in drab.

I go out a lot to all kinds of places. I have never had that happen to me, nor heard of it happening to a GG. I am not saying that it does not happen, but I do not think as often as some of the posters make it appear. Maybe out here in the San Francisco Bay area the bars control the gropers better. I have had people, mostly women and some men ask if my breasts were real or not. Thankfully, no one has ever asked nor tried to touch them. As I recommended in your other thread, I would mention it every time that it happens to your friendly bar tender and point out the offending person. That is the only way to get the establishment behind you. If it is a successful club, they sure do not want to be shut down because of sexual harassment charges. I have no problem telling someone to back off, like right now if they get too insulting.