Double take! Man or woman?

I went to the sandy mall today and was walking around. I went into a few shops to see if I could find some flats because I had been wearing heels all morning and my feet were starting to hurt. I found plenty of cute flats. None in my size which was just a little frustrating. So, I sat o.n a bench to wait for forever young to open and a gentleman walks by and notices me, but continues on with his family and they all stop in front of the gate for forever young. His daughter says "hey dad that's a guy. The father looks at me turns back to his daughter to say something and then out of nowhere he does an abrupt double take. He then went a and his behind a sign and was starting at me through the little hole. I soul lds have walked over and said hello start my kristen! but I didn't I just got upand left, but seriously were not birds or apes or giraffes. And seriously, hiding b behind a sign to gawk at someone is so impolite. I think my makeup started to wear off a little because I hadn't had a problem all morning. I got maam all morning as well as she, her and what's the special occasion for the dress? I told them all I love wearing dresses and was told it was very pretty. I responded to a few hello's from women coming into the stores and they practically fell over got up and looked at me. I even caught one lady following me. What's the of following a crossdresser around? Well, she must have realized she got spotted because she stopped following me. And then I was passing the hand soap station. And pulled in by the gentleman at the unter which he was gentleman, sweet and very professional

I imagine that some people simply have never seen a crossdresser out in public, probably never given it much thought and are curious, but it's certainly very rude to sit and stare.

Actually, that doesn't sound so bad to me, Kristen! He was probably staring to figure out your gender! So, u obviously do pass! At least sometimes with some folks.

When I've been out dressed it's always belly laffs, gapping jaws, pointing fingers, and, "OMG! Look at THAT!!"
It's gotten so bad, when I heard, "OMG, that's a MAN!", at Disneyland, I was THRILLED! At least SOMEONE didn't recognize me rite away!

Gone cottin choppin.

You can sometimes exspect that out of young kids! But when grown-ups act that way it's very rude and shows there stupidty! Hugs!

Gone cottin choppin.

That is what keeps me in the closet, I've been followed all around the store by a couple of young teen girls, that where laughing and pointing, it was creepy, Felt like I was in a zoo, and I was the exhibit.
But to have adults do it, wow, that is rude. Even if I do see one of us at the mall, and that's not but a couple of times in my life, a quick double take, being sure not to be obviouse about it, a smile, and back to what I'm there for.
Tina B.

I've seen a few people do a double take, but nobody has said anything bad to me. A few women have smiled and said "good morning". Yesterday, I walked past a guy in a park (he was walking towards me) and he just gave me a cold stare. Now I don't know if he clocked me or just wasn't in a good mood that morning. I was in (padded) girl jeans, sneakers, and long T shirt (with bra and boobs) with my wig and minimal makeup. Out dressed like a normal woman going for her morning walk.

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Originally Posted by Tina B.

That is what keeps me in the closet, I've been followed all around the store by a couple of young teen girls, that where laughing and pointing, it was creepy, Felt like I was in a zoo, and I was the exhibit.
Tina B.

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This is the type of thing, along with Sherry's & Kristen's post that make me feel not so sure about going out dressed. We aren't mainstream yet so we can be a source of entertainment, wonderment, or amusement.

The gender friendly clubs are one thing but mixing in with the general public seems a bit scary. It sounds like the dad had never seen a real crossdressser before and was trying to be sure. He did make a fool of himself as far as I'm concerned.

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Originally Posted by Marleena

This is the type of thing, along with Sherry's & Kristen's post that make me feel not so sure about going out dressed. We aren't mainstream yet so we can be a source of entertainment, wonderment, or amusement.

The gender friendly clubs are one thing but mixing in with the general public seems a bit scary. It sounds like the dad had never seen a real crossdressser before and was trying to be sure. He did make a fool of himself as far as I'm concerned.

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If you don't, won't or can't pass as a female, you will be seen as a circus attraction by the majority of the general public. Some will just politely walk on by, some will stare, and a few may follow you and try to make you uncomfortable. That's reality. We're not going to change it and it's not going to change on its own.

Physically, some uf us can never pull it off. If you're built like an NFL linebacker, you will never pass as a female. Others of us can pass as a homely female, a few lucky ones can pass as a pretty decent looking female.

Whatever, if you're going to go out in public, you better have thick skin.

Thanks Linda! I don't think any of us can truly pass up close. During my last dressup session my wife was satisfied enough with the results that she will go out with me. She wants me to be able to blend in at least. My biggest issue is the Adam's apple like most of us. I'm 5' 9" which is kinda tall but my wife is almost 5'8" herself.

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Originally Posted by Marleena

Thanks Linda! I don't think any of us can truly pass up close. During my last dressup session my wife was satisfied enough with the results that she will go out with me. She wants me to be able to blend in at least. My biggest issue is the Adam's apple like most of us. I'm 5' 9" which is kinda tall but my wife is almost 5'8" herself.

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I keep shrinking. I was almost 6' at age 20 but now I'm 5' 8" or so. There are some tops and some jewelry that will hide the adams apple.

As for makeup, if you're going out to clubs or bars at night, it's appropriate to wear a lot of makeup and that's good for us. Go out at 9:00 AM in full makeup, eye shadow, etc. and you stand out like a sore thumb. Also, cooler weather allows for clothing to cover hairy legs and arms.

I envy you if your wife will make you up and go out in public with you. You're a lucky person.

people react in a lot of different ways. I know that there many different woman's body and facial structures - tall, short, slim, round, etc...so its fairly easy for a person to blend in if you're dressed appropriately. Its up close when the little tells give one away.

There is a great site for femenizing ones self sarah charles posted on our local tri ess yahoo group page! many of you know her so ask her she'll help you!

When ever I go out to the mall, the movies or whatever and I know I've been spotted, not real hard when your 6'4" and 220 lbs, when I get back to my car I always think of the country western song with the line "Lets give'm something to talk about"

Marleena,
After your first outing everything else will be a piece of cake. Out enfemme is a blast !

I think something else is going on here. A regular ol' guy out with his family wouldn't do a double take or spy behind a sign. It sounds to me that he could be a cd wannabe or a secret cd admirer. That's my first reaction to reading the OP.

I have been laughed at by teenage girls and I really didn't care for it but I considered the source. To be checked out by an adult like you described after his daughter spotted you was way off base. The guy clearly has no tact and is not exhibiting good moral character to his kids. I can only wish for him to have a child some day come to him and say, dad I am a crossdresser and really wish you would have set a better example for us when we spotted that CD in the mall.

Hey, Tina, nice new Christmas avatar!

Yes; you must watch out for the pre-teen girls, they have built in radar and can spot
one of us a mile away. I do not know what it is that they posses, but the military might
want to put their capabilities into their ships or tanks or planes or something. LOL
Rader

In my adventures otdoors while enfemme and alone I have found teen and pre teen girls to be prety nasty. :sad:

Next time wink at them or if you have a chance talk to them and give them a big smile or blow them a kiss even. It is a fact, you are going to be outed sooner or later. Might as well have fun with it.

Teenagers?

Turn the tables. Stare at them.

No, really. A smile goes a LONG way to diffuse a difficult situation. If you catch someone watching you give 'em a huge smile.

This works with little kids too. Smile (a BIG smile) at every little kid you see. Kids are experts at seeing someone who is different. It's a defense mechanism. Or a self protection mechanism. If you show yourself to be danger free kids will pay far less attention to you. SMILE. Smile at every kid you see. Kids know. Women smile. Men don't smile. It's really that simple. Men don't smile at kids in public. Women DO smile at kids in public. When you smile at a kid you give them one less thing to identify you with. Smile. It goes a long way.

Stephie

Hi,

This is very interesting to me in how people react towards many of you, yet many of you would look & be better dressed than i am & most of you would ether have your own hair or wear a wig & have make up on...

Yet i expect people to look at myself because i sure dont blend in , Today would be no different than most days ,

Jos & i did the last of our shoping & she said quite a few people were looking at me , now these would be people i dont know tho i did talk with friends at different shops & others we know . Oh i watch people as we pass each other. & yes they do look,

One reason being in my avatra the head wear i have there is worn as a turbin & looks quite good my skirt was my muilty coloured different shades of pinks & a darker pink top so all my colours are in keeping with each other, & flat sandles what gives me away my turbin style head wear.

Well there is one thing i know i'll be talked about as being different & stand out & seen by over some 400 people, you know what we cant all blend in you know......

...noeleena...

I am going to echo Stephanie. Whenever someone has stared at me, I look their way and give them a great big smile. They either move on or light a smile up themselves. In the end, people can be curious and don't want to feel threatened. Being nice and approachable diffuses both.

Thank you Sue,

Truer words were never spoken. Smile.

If you are 17 years old and look like a fashion model, you can get away with the sultry unhappy look. On anyone older than 30, that sultry unsmiling look just looks like you are miserable.

Listen guys. Women smile. We smile at men (sometimes), we smile at children (always), we smile at other women (all the time), and sometimes we just smile to ourselves 'cause it's just so darn much fun being a woman.

Smile. A smile goes a LONG way. A smile signals that you are relaxed and happy with who you are and what you are doing. Are there women who don't smile? Sure. And some of you may even be in a relation with one. But those women are unhappy women. Try not to use them (or the aforementioned fashion models) as examples. Instead look at Karen Hutton's pictures. There's a woman (or guy) who knows how to smile.

Wow what a great thread for those of us on the outside of the closet.. I like the point about needing a thick skin to be out. Yep, my skin get thicker each time out. I have preped myself with an excuse if confronted as "Look folks, I'm working undercover for a private detective in another store and need to pick some stuff up so don't give me a problem" or "I'm on my way to a play as a character and had to dress ahead of time, so if that's a problem I don't need to know". I haven't had to use either of those, but just having them in my head gives me the confidence to be out and about.

A few posters mentioned the kids. Oh yea, they can see right through you. They don't say anything, just long stares like their brain is trying to reconsile the apparent conflict in visual clues on genetics. Teen age girls, oh yea been there done that... "OMG you're right....it's one of them" was the line that got me out of the store with my tail between my legs... Next day went back and never had an issue.

Most people have no interest in looking at other people especially during the shopping season.... until, you have on an outfit that they haven't seen before and you look good, then they are checking your combination out and seeing if it would look good on them...

Renne.....

I have been living as a woman for several years now, and at the beginning I did have a few teen girls do the point and laugh, but once I learned my style, and felt comfortable as myself, I have never had a negative reaction since! It IS all about your own self-confidence, when you are happy with yourself, your head is higher, your posture is better, and the smile is always there! This body language stops the negative stuff in it's tracks for me! I have been to the mall numerous times and had many teens give me a look over, and my smile and confidence often makes them actually compliment my outfit or look! It's all about your body language. (and I am 6'1" 250#)

If you are not yet confident, it is obvious to most every human that takes an interest, especially the self-conscious teens! They have SO many body and personality issues of their own, and it is just a natural reaction to demean others to cover their own insecurities. Let it roll off your back, and use it as a reminder to hold your head high, and keep a big smile on that pretty face of yours!

Only my confidence has really changed, and because of that I am always mistaken for a GG now! If you don't have it yet, fake it!! Just faking it can be enough to change your posture and mental attitude! I agree with the other posts, the smile is the biggest factor, smile and the world smiles with you!

I am sure the guy that was staring was a CD or fan of us T-gurls.. Straight guys are too phobic to make more than a passing glance. Just keep on keeping on. You can't control what others think, only your reaction to same..

Best Wishes Gurls!!
Kimberly :battingeyelashes:

My avatar shows what I was wearing that day! My eye makeup could probably use some help. I smiled most of the day. The only time I didn't smile was when I sat down because I was wearing heels and my feet hurt. I had been walking around In them since 3 a.m..

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Originally Posted by NicoleScott

I think something else is going on here. A regular ol' guy out with his family wouldn't do a double take or spy behind a sign. It sounds to me that he could be a cd wannabe or a secret cd admirer. That's my first reaction to reading the OP.

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That was my first thought also

In this big one horse hick a.. country town any one that is seen wearing make up and heels often are assumed to be CDs or DQ because the majority of the middle age women round here do not wear make up or wear it poorly

Joann

I usually attract at least a stare or a look that says I'm being noticed because most of the time I go out in women's clothing I still present as male. I actually did go out in full femme about a month ago, and I walked around the mall, but I know I didn't pass because I still got a lot of looks, and they actually seemed a little more hostile and judgmental than the looks I get when I go out with my "guy in a-" outfits. But I do think that everyone on here who has made the comment of smile, and act comfortable and relaxed is dead on.

Like it or not, we are unusual, we deviate from the norm. As much as we understand our own issues, I'd venture to guess that all of us have also noticed something that was outside of our typical frame of reference in public and needed a second to process it. Sometimes we too stare, or at least "notice." But the more you present it as something that isn't a big deal, and smile, and give an attitude of "Yep, I am." The more others will pick up on that energy and roll with it too.

Also, one thing to keep in mind when you're out is that just because someone does call you miss or ma'am or use feminine pronouns to describe you does not mean that you are actually passing and fooling them into thinking you're female. I have gone to the mall en femme before with a GG female friend and we were referred to as "ladies" and "girls" a lot by people, but I know without a doubt that I did not pass. I've done the same thing when I have been working at various retail stores and restaurants when TG folks come in, I totally read them, but I think it's polite and professional to refer to them by the gender they present.