Who Here is "out"

I'd say I'm about 90% out. lol, let me explain.

My Wife, her friends, my friends, my (immediate) family, and even most of my co workers know I dress. I don't even have any real issues going out in public places (store, restaurants, movies). Believe me these were HUGE hurdles to overcome and I'm glad I did

Here comes the hang up:

My wife's family does not know, which sucks because we live with her (phobic, racist, conservative) dad. Yes he does treat me like a son, (He's never had a son) but he does know that I don't agree with a lot of his views, and he respects that.

We live under his roof, so I've elected not to say anything about this it fear of being kicked out.

I may tell my wife's mom in the near future, She's pretty laid back and I don't think would care too much.

All is good though, when I want to go out, I just use my mom's house as a CD pit stop.

okay:) your turn:)

Sorry, not too sure what your question/point is. You seem to be adjusting to the degree in which you are "out" and making accommondations for areas that need caution, i.e. your father in law. It really is your decision...accept the risks and tell him or leave well enough alone. Why do you want to tell your wife's mom? Is there a chance she will see you? Is she local in your community or does she live some distance away? Was the separation from your father in law amicable such that she might tell him and then you will be out in two ways? Think about it.
Laura

I think your wise to be circumspect around your father in law. I know a lot of people who's political and social views are like his. And oddly enough, if you can get passed all that, they are fundementally good people. Unfortunately, some attitudes and perceptions are so deeply ingrained. Appreciate him for the good in him and maybe over time you can gently try to coax a little more open mided attitude on other things.

Once you and your wife are entirely on your own, it will be less of an issue and you'll have maintained a good relationship with your father in law.

To answer your question, I'm out to my wife, sons, step daughters and a number of friends and extended family members, as well as several of my neighbors.

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Originally Posted by Laura912

Sorry, not too sure what your question/point is.
Laura

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Sorry, I tend to ramble, I just want to get a feel for who is out and to what degree.

side note: my mother in law is divorced form my father in law and I'm just trying to have an open, healthy relationship with everyone around me.

You're lucky to be out as far as you are,Courtney. :) I'm not really out, my wife knows I have a strong femme side, and a few otehrs whom she has told, but not many.

Courtney, I had to be careful during my working life, I was a known public figure. After I retired I moved out of town and went full time, 2 years of HRT with great results. I live 24/7 as Kimberly with the full support of my SO. I no longer have any men clothing, everything is female. I pass very well and I am out and about every day. If you are going full time I wish you the best on your journey.
Love Kimberly

Only my ex and hair stylist knows. Although I wear slacks and boobs and goes as "Di", we have yet to develope a voice, though. She has suggested where I can get the ears pierce.:):)Oh she is very desirable to look at.

There are a lot of members here that are not out or want to go out.
But they get stomped on here sometimes.
So I will just speak for them.:D

SUZY

I am %98 out. My sister noticed a year ago that most of my facebook freinds were gays,lesbians,drag queens,burlesque performers,transmen. She asked me half seriously if I was "one of them" and I told her yes. she was cool with it. Now all my cousins and my nephew know about me. There are several old timers in our family who we haven't told and the people at the rent office in the apartments where I live with my sister and nephew don't know either.



I go out in public. I used to go out for awhile in the seventies but my Mom pitched a fit over it,I told her I quit dressing so she'd calm down. She tried to act like she didn't care if I dressed but she was livid over it. It's wonderful to be out finally. Being out is so much better if there's a way. For some,coming out can be real invitation to a hanging and I can apreciate that. It can get you in trouble with your family and on the job. But being out is better,if there's a way to go about it.


Samantha

I'm not out and I think it will be a while before I am ready to come out.
My grandmother is a great person, though she has traditional views and I think that she would find cross-dressing strange.
My mom would have to get used to it, but I don't think she would mind. She enjoys it when people cross-dress in theatrical productions or in comedy shows.

I haven't done the math but I'm 100% out to my wife and a few friends and 0% out to the other 360 million people in the US... What's the weighted average....

I am 100% not out. My wife and I sorta had a talk a few years back and she hated the thought. So as far as she knows this was just something I used to do. I would love to be just me in public and not have anyone care. But I would scare children and small animals if they saw me coming. So I joined this forum to live vicariously through the lives of those of you brave enough to be the real you to the world.

Only the members of this forum and my therepist know about me, I am so deep in the closet I cannot even find the door out.

Well,

I just finished "outing myself" to those people in my life I care about, i.e. my friends, the whole process took 6 months, and was pretty stressful, but it now means aside from work I can be Katie 100% of the time (finally). Family, well I'll cross that bridge when I need to, same with work, but for now its great just being who I'm supposed to be.

I think it is wise that you don't say a word to your father-in-law. No need to rock the boat. Not just now because you live with him, but later too. If there is nothing to gain and something to lose, no need in pushing it.

I am out to some. The rest fall into the "maybe" column or the "Like Courtney's Father-In-Law" column. The maybes happen only if my family members that know are on board with it. I am not out to make them uncomfortable.

Moondog, i am curious what your therapist says about the dressing? or is it the therapist just listens to you and doesent have an opinion?

Courtney,
To answer your direct question, I'm out to wife , kids, family and friends. And it's great, I can't believe how long it took(53years)
Now to the underlying question. If you feel that your father-in-law is really that insecure (all the things you listed about him equal insecure to me) AND you are under his finiancial roof, then wait. You are only 20 (I'm jealous!). One day you will have finiancial freedom, then you can add the final steps to your feminine freedom. Until then, enjoy the progress you have made.

I don't know if my folks seeing a pic of me qualifies as "out". It's seems like it's all for laughs to them. Do they know that I drop into Barnes & Noble or Starbuck, or restaurants &shopping malls regularly like this?
My friends, being the modern prgrogressive folks just said they accept & love me just the same. " Come join us en femme if you like". That's cool.

I will not let my employer know, under any circumstances. Only problem is, they (including the company president) noticed my current Brad Pitt long hair (which i'm planning on growing below my shoulder), pierced ears and missing beard within the last few months . I was pretty generic and conservative looking once . .....oh well. :idontknow:

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

I haven't done the math but I'm 100% out to my wife and a few friends and 0% out to the other 360 million people in the US... What's the weighted average....

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1st, Karren, leave it to you, to over complicate it... ;)

2nd, don't know what I was thinking, I just assumed you were 100% Public... ::shaking head::

Only people I am NOT out to, is a couple of my Wife's friends and her parents, oh yea, and her brother...

My parents both know (my old man, who hates me anyway, was thrilled when he found out...), and my friends know. I don't want my extended family to know, and I am sure given their background they wouldn't want to know anyway.

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Originally Posted by moondog

I am so deep in the closet I cannot even find the door out.

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That sounded just like me a year and a half ago. Keep you're head up, thinks will get better, I promise :)

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Originally Posted by Intertwined

1st, Karren, leave it to you, to over complicate it... ;)

2nd, don't know what I was thinking, I just assumed you were 100% Public... ::shaking head::.

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Lol. Fine a lot of local SA's know.. I think most of the people at work may know... A few thousand people I bump into when out enfemme know but we haven't been formally introduced! My 2 kids don't know. My mother-in-law doesn't know but she had dementia bad so shed forget 5 minutes later... Lots of people at 4 near by casinos know. Everyone locally at Lolita's Unique and The Outer Skin for The Inner You Boutiques know....

Hi Courtney. Well here is my take on the subject. I am 100% out to my family and any one else that I care about an love. My wife doesn't like it, but she does give me Daviolin time to go out. The funny thing about it is, I don't go out any more. I guess I just got burnt out on trying to pass and blend with the general population. I completely enjoy just being Daviolin at home. I still love doing photoshoots and just housewife chores around the house. I never ran into hassles while out. I really did love doing it. I guess its just a been there done that situation. I always was the type of person that got bored with things in my life. Time to move on to another activity. Of course I never will get bored with my inner feminime self. So Daviolin is here to stay. Daviolin

I guess I am about as out as one can get. I had SRS 25 years ago and have lived as a woman much longer than that. As for your father-in-law, have you ever heard the saying, don't bite the hand that feeds you? The same can be said about the one that provides a roof over your head. If he is transphobic, do not say a word until you and your wife are ready to move into your own home.

I am out to my family and my friends, and to the larger social communities that my friends are in. I am not out at work and due to it's nature i doubt that I can ever be. There are places and situations where I feel I must present as male and with my legal, male name. If I could be out at work, I'd probably present as feminine 95% of the time.

Ruthie

I was in a TV series portraiting 10 transgendered persons (both CD and TS) about two years ago. The series was sent on one of the national broadcasting channels, so I guess I am very out. It got a rating of around 10%. So far no negative reactions other than my parents not wanting to talk about it. They saw some episodes and have seen pictures, so it is not bad at all.

I'm out to most of my friends and I can openly discuss it with just about anyone... except my family

My wife and three grown daughters know which is what's important to me.