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I've done a lot of surfing the net and find there are a lot of CD/TG/TS admirers, but they're mostly men. Many claim to be straight, so what are they really after? I wish more females were admirers.
If you're out in public have you encountered them?
Good or bad experiences?
Are they just all looking for sex ( I hope not)?
I know some of the TG girls here may be admirers too. Not being judgemental.:)
No Scarlet..I'm not one of them, although we do have pretty girls here.:)
Are you sure? Somebody had to ask!Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarlet Rose
That's a good question. I accept them but I wouldn't say that I admire them. I guess I can admire them for having the chutzpah to go out in public dressed as the opposite sex. I doubt I could ever be that courageous.
Thanks Scarlet..lol. All your fault for mentioning the penis part! Sheesh.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarlet Rose
Thanks Wsprs! Nice to hear your view, you're right it ain't easy when a CDer first goes out in public.:)
There are plenty of women that like TG people. However, I think most women want more than meaningless flings...and, we are less likely to be super creepy and really forward in our approaches...so, flying under the radar is easier. (?)
Hi Marleena,
After a few years of dealing with male admirers I just learned to have sex with them then dump them.
There less than human so I never felt bad using them.
There were a few that stand out in my mind as useful like paying to get my car repaired but that was about it.
By the way your new photo looks wonderful.
Julia
To add to this, I think that CD's find it so hard to find someone who will accept them they tend to stick with the partners who will. JMO, though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
@ wsprs on the wind,
I fully agree with what you said.
Julia
This gets into trying to define other people's sexual identity, very hard to do. Are they straight? Technically no, probably bisexual is more accurate, but not quite 100%. Many that I've met were attracted to females as well as transgendered males. They're attracted to femininity, regardless of whether the person they like is male or female.
And many are mainly looking for sex, probably most, but should we label them as pervs any more than the guys who are out looking strictly for sex with females? They're annoying if you don't want their attention and they're bugging you, no question about it, I've experienced that plenty of times.
But remember that there are plenty of people who consider us pervs, so let's not go there. :)
Carol
Idk if the..."stranger" admirers are giving acceptance...Quote:
Originally Posted by WsprsOnTheWind
But, alright...
It's definitely something though.
I used to get kind of pissy at women getting objectified. Then, I learned about some TG people's problem with some admirers. It's pretty much the same story under a different title. I am currently dating a TG person and find myself open to dating people across the gender spectrum, but I think a distinct difference is that I'm not seeking out TG people. It seems like most people who do (seek out) have mixed genitalia fetishes and I just kind of want a relationship with someone I find attractive and interesting. That person just so happens to be my SO who also happens to be TG.
Well , as a female admirer who likes cd's I don't want to get into to much depth here cause people might think I'm insane and never talk to me again , But to me it like having a girlfriend someone who loves to shop and do makeup with and someone that has the girlish traits but still has the man features too . It might also have to do with the fact I grew up with a Cd as a father and as much as women do not want to admit it we often try to find men like our fathers
How old were you when you found out your father is a CD and how did you deal with it? I can see your point that it is like having a gal pal to hang with. It's nice to know that when I ask him an opinion if something looks right I am going to get an honest answer. It's nice to be able to shop for girl clothes with him b/c he is not like typical men who are standing around looking out of place praying they can hurry up and leave. There are definite advantages to it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Misskelly
Ah yes..so true! Edited my post.:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Julogden
I can also be an admirer in the fact that I admire all of us for being our feminine selves.:) It's not meant to be judgemental just looking for answers.
Maybe more men are curious or like the pen 15 than they'd like to admit.
A penis fetish (if it exists) might explain it if he truly is not attracted to the same gender.
Yes Marleena, there does seem to be relatively millions of them out there. A couple of years ago, I was on another site where there was chat, and doing so with my wife’s permission I might add. I had to get off of that site for it seemed it was nothing more than a site for the admirers of cd’s. I was looking for a support site at the time. I joined it to talk about cd issues and all. But one by one they all seemed to go straight to nasty explicit sex talk and what all the want to do to me. That gets old real fast. It does seem that in the minds of the admirers, they seem to have us all stereotyped as cd’ing for the sole purpose of having sex with them. And it is so far from that as most of us on here know. Some cd’s may do that, but the vast majority of cd’s do not do what we do to have sex with men. But from what I’ve seen from admirers, and of those that are not a cd themselves, seem to have just one track minds. My guess is that admirers are so unlucky with FAB women and may think that a cd is easy, maybe I’m not sure. But I do wonder why there isn’t a lot real women are admirers and seek out a cd.
I mean I guess there isn’t anything wrong with being an admirer and seeking out what it is they want, but why is it that the majority of admirers seem to have no clout, or ethics, they go straight to sex talk on the first hello. While I was at SCC on two different occasions, I did have a couple of different admirers talk to me and tell me what they wanted to do to me. Of course I did send them to the other side of the room with tact, I didn’t have to show my aggressive side.
But yes Marleena, there does seem to be many many of them, but at the moment when they claim they are straight, also prove they are liars at the same time.
L&R………………Tara
That's a really good question. I think curiosity plays a big part in the CD admirer, it's a small theory of mine that some of those admirer's (not all) may want to CD also and are looking for answers to some of they're own questions maybe? Also as mentioned the whole penis thing. Some men have a desire to be penetrated and feel a CD/Tgurl would be able to fulfill they're desires without being overly gay possibly...??? Like a woman with a strap on except it's not plastic/rubber. I do think it's pretty funny that those men still think of themselves as straight. It's the female form that they desire ...
I have yet to meet in person a GG admirer but I imagine they're thoughts are much different from men.
I assume that the moderators keep the out of here for the most part? Have any of you had issues with them on this site? And I agree every other site I have found is flooded with them!!!!
Nope..No issues here. This site is like a safe haven. Or maybe I'm a homely chick.lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tgsara
In my experiences most are looking for you know what, but a few hat I've encountered just like to chat and talk sports, politics, current events. Tha later group has given me the opportunity to increase my circle of friends in a postive way.
I wouldn't call you Homely sweety ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Marleena
But I agree, this site does feel like a safe haven from alot of whats out there. One of the things I really dig about here. Not getting hit on by, well strange guys with demeaning behavior in tow
I did not post this thread to cause issues just to get input, so far the reples are great! In some ways I find it very flattering that TG girls have admirers.
TG girls can admire each other too, I get that.
I'm on a CD dating site. The percentages there r about 95% males, 5% GGs. Anyway, Sherry can look pretty good in her pictures! So, I've gotten lots of PMs from men. Some that dress, some that don't. If they're couth and decent, I'll chat with them. But, they never stick around for very long. After all, they R MEN! I'm NOT going to give them what they want!
While I have met a few at the SCC, they weren't really interested in me, live! I consider that a benefit of being an old and homely CD!
U can't really blame them for chasing after Tara, tho!
Well As long as I can remember there was aunt sally there is picture of us together as a baby . She raised me and taught me how to cook and clean while mom worked . I thought we lived a normal life I remember being told I wasn't allowed to tell people about aunt sally but really didn't understand why .Quote:
How old were you when you found out your father is a CD and how did you deal with it? I can see your point that it is like having a gal pal to hang with. It's nice to know that when I ask him an opinion if something looks right I am going to get an honest answer. It's nice to be able to shop for girl clothes with him b/c he is not like typical men who are standing around looking out of place praying they can hurry up and leave. There are definite advantages to it.
I hope someday I can live up to :-)Quote:
You are the ideal CD girlfriend.
Well a lot of men are all about sex trust me I've been single for 5 years since my husband passed been dating for about 2 years now and trust me all men think about is sex so I can see why most admirers that are men come off the same way it in there nature .
I think that's it, society doesn't paint a pretty picture of submissive/passive men either.Quote:
Originally Posted by pantease_sd
They're not gay but that is how pretty much 99% of people will label them as, that is where his like of CDs could lie.
Just a guess...
Marleena, as one poster above alluded to, it would seem to me that most male CD admirers (the proverbial "tranny chasers") are attracted to the outward manifestation of extreme femininity as exhibited by those women who either dress in a slu tty or provocative manner at one end of the spectrum, or else the way sophisticated and glamorous high-fashion supermodels do on the other end. And since for most women these days, looking or acting "girly" has become a dirty word and they prefer to dress in "Walmart chic", it is no wonder that many straight men are looking elsewhere for their visual kicks, and have begun to embrace drag queens and good-looking CD's as a viable option if they want to parade around some eye candy on their arms.
I, myself, have been on the receiving end of such unwanted attention, and it does make for some awkward moments at times. It also makes me laugh inside over how pathetic these guys whose brains reside in their penises rather than in their heads are, and how thankful I am for my TG side that shields me from being such a total knuckle-dragging Neanderthal even though I am biologically a male as well.
On the other hand, I do have a number of female friends (my make up artist, a consignment store owner, and a photographer whom I've gotten to know, among others), who are quite intrigued by "Leslie", are very admiring and supportive of the pains "she" takes to look and act as genuine and as lady-like as possible, and treat her just like a regular girlfriend.
Now that said, these ladies are all married and would likely not be very thrilled if their husbands decided to go the same route, but somehow, they seem to feel "safe" in letting their guard down with me because our relationships are strictly platonic and above-board.
I see the same phenomenon at play when watching morning daytime television shows that are directed at women and where the main topics covered include beauty, hair styles, make up, fashion, home decorating etc. - shows like What Not To Wear, the Nate Berkus Show - or, in our local market, Marleena - CityLine and the Marilyn Denis Show. These shows are all practically overrun with gay male beauty, decor, and fashion experts, and the predominately female audiences just adore them and lap up their every word.
It is my theory that in the same way that many hetero women are secretly attracted to "bad boys" even though they usually settle for "conventional" when they get married, many would be equally attracted to CDers because of the feminine traits that they would bring to a relationship. They probably subconsciously suppress this, however, because of the societal taboos that still exist around such possible inclinations.
I have to agree that gg are not really that feminine anymore because of feminism. There are Cds who look hotter than gg. Straight men just love femininity.....pantyhose, heels, garter belts, dresses.Quote:
Originally Posted by Leslie Langford
Some (male bodied) TV/TS admirers are in denial about their own TV/TSism and it is somehow "safe" for them to date us, even be intimate with us, but they cannot bring themselves to dress up themselves. For them, being involved with us is a way to get close to femininity and explore gender without crossing their own "acceptable" gender line in their own mind. I have known a few over the years who later came out as TV/TS after they admitted their true feelings to themselves.
Many (most?) are also married and have bi tenancies and their GG wives have no idea (I feel sorry for their wives.) They may justify it in their minds that since it is not a GG that it is not cheating, and because their male bodied partner is dressed up and looks like a woman it does not "officially count" as gay.
GG admirers (GGs who are actively attracted to TV/TS) are very rare, it is wonderful that we have a number of them here. I only wish the sample of GGs here reflected the population at large.
"The ultimate woman is a man"
I put up an online dating profile a while ago exclusively using photos of me dressed up and have chatted with a number of "admirers" at length (admittedly I've never actually met any of them, I think I'm too shy for online dating in general.) I've found basically four categories of men who contact me.
Category one / scary people: The creepiest are the ones I call the fetishists, who seem to be absolutely fixated on the idea of sex with a man dressed up as a woman. They almost always try to pry for inappropriate or immodest pictures and immediately try to turn the conversation lewd. They genuinely scare me. I don't understand what motivates them and kind of hope that I never do.
Category twos are guys who identify themselves as straight, but if you talk to them for a while usually seem to be bi-curious and feel more comfortable approaching someone who they see as "in-between" sexes. I think they want to explore their sexuality but have internalized the social stigma that's been unfairly applied to same-sex relationships and think of it as being attracted to a someone who's "sort-of" a woman. They're usually pretty polite but overly self-conscious.
Category three are guys who are open to their attraction to other men and who genuinely find me attractive. They usually identify as bi. They're almost always very nice in conversation, usually very non-judgemental and understanding. Sometimes they're curious about crossdressing and ask about why I do it, their reasons for thinking about starting or even suggestions on how to start.
Lastly, there are other crossdressers and MTF transsexuals. Usually they're just happy to find someone they can talk to openly and honestly. I love talking to them and have gotten most of my make-up tips that way.
I have never registered at an online dating service, the men that I've meet, who admirer CD's, have been in public places, bars, lounges, or the like, usually when I'm with a group of girls.
How does it work in the bedroom then? surely u want a man. And to be treated as a woman in the bedroom? you like a masculine manQuote:
Originally Posted by Misskelly
Because in general the web surfing you have done is for people looking for a quick hook up. Since the women looking on the net are not usually looking for sex (because after all why would they look on the net when they only have to to go to a bar :doh:Quote:
Originally Posted by Marleena
Scared, angry, in denial, violent..who knows since most are so gone that they leave a vapor trail. Oh you mean what are they AFTER...well they want a quick orgasm and they don't care how.Quote:
Many claim to be straight, so what are they really after?
I wish that they wore a sign.Quote:
I wish more females were admirers.
Hell yes. Search my most recent thread for the most current. There is an unwritten idea that when a guy is in public dresses as a female he is just looking for one thing. Easy target. And to be truthful there are plenty of "Us" out there who are playing the same game. I know of times when there was a "tranny (sorry if I hurt someone's feelings)" who had at least two guys in the parking lot and was searching for more.Quote:
If you're out in public have you encountered them?
Mostly good because I seem to be able to diffuse the situation quickly. I have been called almost every name in the book at times. The bad are terrible. I have had men ask me for favors while my girlfriend was sitting next to me and when this was pointed out they have asked BOTH of us. Now that I go out single, I have had mostly good experiences.Quote:
Good or bad experiences?
I would say yes but then again aren't most guys? No one has asked me to date on a routine basis and only one asked me to marry him (but I think he was a little drunk)Quote:
Are they just all looking for sex ( I hope not)?
I am a big girl and I know what is out there. I have no illusions that when I am out in public at a club that I will be hit upon. So far there have been no women who asked for a one night stand yet :daydreaming:. Most the guys know what lies beneath the clothes and are either Bi or Gay now. The only time I was really afraid and concerned was in my thread. I was really looking for an escape route and I was concerned about even leaving. But to be honest this same situation has happened to me when I wasn't dressed in a dress. You meet all kinds out there.:straightface:
Great replies so far thanks! My wife was the reason for this thread. She joked if I go out what do I do if I get hit on? I told her it wasn't likely and not to worry.
It didn't take much research for me to do this thread just type in crossdressers in a Google search or CD admirers for a better sampling.
On halloween I had one guy approach me and asked to dance with me, cut in on my wife and I and she says...no problem! I've got to say, that was a really odd feeling... I'm not exactly a good looking female and yet he was 'taken' with me... told me I was sexy and I was pretty worried I would have to do something drastic to loose him. Anyways, we got saved by the closing bell. He wasn't even good looking...not that I was looking, but yet, this thought haunts me... I have a low opinion of my attractiveness in any mode, but I am forced to admit at least two people in the world think I am attractive. Shake my head and shiver!
Some good GG input here. Both friends of mine. In any case, who doesn't admire a good looking gal to somewhat answer your question.:battingeyelashes::)
I don't think it is because the moderators directly keep them away. I believe that they are welcome here. But there is a standard of behaviour and the mods will enforce that. So there are some or many that play their hand and are gone that quick. If that doesn't happen, they probably get a good feel for what the forum is about and leave knowing this isn't for them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tgsara
But in all fairness, we can't group all admirers into one bucket of people who want sex. I have only met a few and only one made me keep my eyes out for him. Another was a good person who I could easily call a friend who only stated that he thought all CDs should be on hormones (that was an interesting conversation). And another was a partner of a friend and quite a gentleman himself.
Speaking directly to the comments of Marleena's wife. One thing I have noticed between my little experience and the comments here is that it seems more likely that you will run into admirers at bars and TG specific events. No small surprise there. But for Marleena's wife, the possibility of getting hit on if you don't go clubbing probably goes down drastically. I don't think admirers are generally hanging out at Macy's and the movies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vickie_CDTV
I think this is very true. Now that I'm starting to come out again after a long time of repression, I find myself staring open-mouthed at the CD/TS women I meet. I think a lot of it is just longing to accept that part of myself, particularly when I meet someone who looks like I fantasize about looking. It's SO much easier to go after what you want to be when it's someone else and you don't have to take ownership of your feelings!
i dont really use dating sites but i do use chat sites. most internet male admirers turn out to be panti wearers anyways.
in the real world most i encounter are perfectly nice and want to treat a tranny as a lady...infact that is probably more important to them than anything. i am generalising a bit...but then so is everyone else
Um ... sex? lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Marleena
My SO told me that some (many?) men just get it wherever they think they can. My personal opinion is, if I were a man with a high sexual appetite, I would assume that other men feel the same way, and so my chances of getting any would be greater with men than with women (especially if, um ... I wasn't exactly what girls consider to be "hot"). It would certainly takes less effort to find a willing guy than a willing girl. And so I might justify the whole thing to myself by preferring a guy who is willing to at least look like a girl, especially if I discovered that so many such guys fantasize about being with men like me when they are dressed. :p
OK, so I might be a bit cynical about this. :)
I appreciate your reply to this post .However, it saddens me :sad:that you think others would think you insane or never talk to with you. I have found women on here to be very candid when they express their opinions. Although, there have been some comments from those who have expressed discomfort about expressing their feelings because of blowback from Cders and others, I hope women on here would not show any resentment toward you . Having been a Cder for most of my life, the hurdle of acceptance and rejection has always been on my mind. On this website neither have been an issue.:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Misskelly
Makes sense to me. But, I do think there are men out there that are open to being with TG people that aren't creepers. It probably wouldn't be the people taking pictures of their junk and saying they are looking for a girl with "something extra" lol. Dating sites are unfortunately filled with mostly weird people...and, Craigslist is a sausage fest. Of course, if your means of dating or hooking up are via these mechanisms, you are going to find weird people that no one really wants to date. It can be a good thing if you too are also a weird person that no one wants to date and need a quick bang. But, if you are looking for people that are worth your time, they probably won't be on such sites.
So, obviously very normal, good-looking people are open to dating TG people. Call them "admirers" or open-minded...whatever. But, you can't complain too hard if your dating mechanism is through sketchy websites of old, overweight men "doing you a favor" by taking a picture of their junk and then talking to you like you are the best freak show to get his jollies from.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Ha ha ha ha! I can't stop laffing, Shana! Of course, what makes your post very funny is, that there is so much TRUTH in it!Quote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
Also, on the same lines, I was going to say that GGs have been dealing with creepy people forever...it doesn't phase me anymore. But, you can't encourage them. The weird guy at the bar that won't leave you alone and wants to buy you a drink, so you give up and allow him to buy you one... NO... Because, he's never going to go away now. You will literally have to leave the bar to get away from him. Why? Because, you give them an inch and they take a mile.
There really are predator out there (especially on dating websites) that are looking for people with low self-esteem. Unfortunately, a lot of CDs I know do not think highly of themselves...and, for whatever reason, they fuel the weirdos. So, after a few CDs with low self-esteem satisfy the creepers, it's like the guy that won't leave you alone at the bar... Word gets out that CDs are "easy" and any schlump could probably hit on them a bit and get in their pants.
Women don't always have the greatest self-esteem either, but it seems that CDs are looking for a different validation. I may have self-esteem issues and think I don't look pretty one day. But, having sex with an uggo from the bar isn't going to make me feel any hotter. Some CDs say a lot that having sex with a man (any man) validates them in being a woman. So, if any weirdo online will do... And, then, it's a sh*t storm of desperate weirdos feeding on desperate people in need of validation.
But, I'm also pretty cynical.
Cynical? How about right on the mark? Dudes like to have sex. They will let another dude give them a [edited out by Reine .. use your imaginations :)] in a second if it was private and nobody would know. I've [edited out by Reine .. use your imaginations] a straight guy or two and believe me, they're perfectly okay with it as long as they can forget it ever happened. Aside from this forum which is so heavily moderated that it almost encourages the fantasy of faux outrage over male sexuality, there are a gazillion CD's out there looking for a good time. Men are opportunists in regard to sex so they will always grab the low hanging fruit (no pun intended) if it's available.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Men who dress as women are seen by other men as an opportunity for a good time. Why else would they apparently abandon their power as men? Men see women as sexual subordinates, they are the ones who get penetrated, so a feminine man is purposely subordinating himself. Obviously I know this isn't always or even mostly the case, but men who know nothing of this lifestyle except what they see on Craigslist have no reason to think otherwise. The fact is a LOT of cross dressing men are looking for sex too and to pretend otherwise is just kinda goofy.
This forum is a refuge of sorts for those of us who want a place where we can be free from lewd come-ons or constant chat requests, but I've seen many of these CD.com girls around the net looking for some action because I'm doing the same thing. I've had ads on personal sites for years and still do. Only these days I'm looking for a real relationship which is nearly impossible compared to looking for sex.
I do enjoy the puritan horror that some display around here though. Must be part of the "act" because I've never met a man CD or otherwise who doesn't have "needs". ;-)
Sara, Sue is correct. We don't prohibit admirers from joining. But we do limit sex talk in the public forums for everyone. When admirers discover this, most just don't come back.Quote:
Originally Posted by SueI don't think it is because the moderators directly keep them away. I believe that they are welcome here. But there is a standard of behaviour and the mods will enforce that. So there are some or many that play their hand and are gone that quick. If that doesn't happen, they probably get a good feel for what the forum is about and leave knowing this isn't for them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tgsara
The more astute admirers will figure out how to post without being explicit (even if their posts are transparent :p), and will gather enough of a following in order to pursue the rest of it privately via PM.
You may well have a point, and it may be more true of the younger crowd, the generation raised with not as many hangups as their predecessors. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
But I went to a few tranny bars with my SO when we were just beginning to out in public. And I tell ya ... the admirers I saw (all were middle aged but this doesn't mean there aren't more such as you describe) pretty well fit the M.O. described by someone who has been on the scene in the San Francisco area for years, and who wrote a book about it. His name is Dr. Richard (Alice) Novic. She wrote "Alice in Genderland".
http://aliceingenderland.com/Manhunt.html See the quote below:
Edited to add:Quote:
Originally Posted by Alice Novik
My thoughts exactly, at least for the CDers who feel as if they are treated like real women when they meet up with online contacts, or one night stands from the bar scene.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
-----------------------------------------------
*sigh*. And there are CDs who look hotter than other CDs, GGs who look hotter than other GGs, and GGs who look hotter than CDs. And men who look hotter than other men. :rolleyes: Oh, and there are also men who look hotter than some CDs.Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
And men who are into the sporty girl, the athletic girl, the intellectual type girl, the girl next door type. In my last comment to one of your posts, Sean, I thought you were starting to get away from all those blanket statements. :wall:
And here we go again. Now you are telling a GG what her sexual preference is and how she wants to be treated. :facepalm:Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
Reine,
Alice Novik creeps me out to no end. I'm glad I didn't stumble upon her book when I was first introduced to this lol. But, I think she makes a fair point in the quote you cited. My SO and I have no made it out to any TG bars, so I'll have to report back in when we get that experience. There ARE a number of creepy young people too...believe me. It does seem like most admirers are middle-aged, but some of the youngins are just as bad. I hope Cami and I can go to a gay bar here that is always a lot of fun. I've never felt threatened there and have had a great time. As far as I know, I have not seen any CDs there...but, I can't see it as a place where we'd get a lot of sh*t from people. And, if two girls kiss at this bar, there wont be 6 guys with camera phones up my a$$.
"The good thing about bisexuality is it doubles your chance of getting a date on Friday night." — Woody Allen.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
In good humor, I like this quote. But, I think the gay community can be "pickier" sometimes. We often talk about how if you are a gay guy, it seems like you have to spend so much more time on yourself to get a date than any straight guy. I often feel the same with women...it seems that women can be a lot pickier with each other.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorileah
In my experience, being bi means that you need to look and be the best of the best...or, people just assume that you are one of those people that are just looking to f*ck anything.
And, some people just think that anyway.
The Forum is a haven? Perhaps but really you'll never know what it feels like to be a woman unless ypu've been hit on at least 15 ways come Sunday, right Ladies? I've seen just about all of the come-ons in my time and managed to survive.;):)
My feeling is there is sexual identity, and sexual preference, always two separate things, once you walk out the door and express yourself a certain way , no matter how you represent yourself, you may attract someone, once you do you have to ask yourself are they attracted to me just because I am a cd/tg person or do they truly enjoy me as the person I am and want some kind of relationship that is friendly and respectful